4.5 months old - would you do CC?

[mariloulou]

Ok, so ill keep this as brief as I can!
DD2 not a great sleeper, up til about 4 months ish would on ocassion manage a 5 hour stretch. I could cope with that and would feed her back to sleep ( i know....) and she would go through til 6am. her naps have never been longer than 30-45mins in the day, i guess this is just the way she is.
Now the problem - she hit 4 months and everything changed. She became harder to settle and is waking every 1-2hrs. Shes also guzzling 12oz during the night and up for the day at 5am. Needless to say i am exhausted. Im due back at work in 5 weeks and need some sleep! !
i have tried PUPD which did nothing but frustrate her more when I put her down. I tried shush pat and had a bit of success. Managed to get the dummy off her which i believe wasn't helping her, and she is slightly easier to settle but she is still waking every hour and my last resort was going to be controlled crying. I know part of the problem is that she can't self settle so we need to work on that.

So, would you? Any positive stories? :(

No I wouldn't. It's totally normal! Google 4 month sleep regression. She is also probably going through a growth spurt and needs extra feeds. It will only last a few weeks. You have my sympathies but the only advice I have is to ride it out. Good luck.

No

I'm sorry, but its a flat no from me. Your dd is far, far too young for cc. I can understand your need for sleep as you are returning to work as I have been there. Definitely read up on 4 month sleep regression. A book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" might be worth a read.

I wouldn't. DS is 5.5 months and exactly the same. I'm waiting until he's over 6 months before I try anything because I really just don't think he'll understand what I'm trying to do.

It's a shock to the system after a gloriously sleeping DD, and I completely sympathise, but I think you have to ride this out for a bit longer.

I agree that under 6 months is too little for cc however I also couldn't cope with being woken every 1-2 hours!!

What time does she go to bed? Have you got a bedtime routine in place? When is her last nap during the day?

Do you do a dream feed?

Sorry for all the questions!

No.

No, I did it at 6m with dc1 and in hindsight it was far too early.

No she is too young and I say that as someone who did do cc.
You need to look at the feeds, Do you do a dream feed at 10 or 11pm?
Can you and your partner take it turns to get up? Could you go to bed say at 7 or 8 pm after 6pm feed?
Could you go back to four hourly feeds?
Reintroduce dummy?

Could you delay your return to work?

I did some controlled crying with great success with both DC but 4.5 months is way too young.

No. 4.5 months months is way too young. You should wait until your baby is weaned at the very least and ideally you should wait until a bit longer than that.

way too young, why should a baby be left cry itself to sleep they need food ,warmth, love and cuddles not crying alone in a cot

No.

Thank you for all your replies, they are very helpful. I do agree with her seeming abit young i just don't know what else i can do to help her. She doesn't nearly get enough sleep in a 24hr period and that's why I am concerned.

before 4 months i did dreamfeed, i found this didn't prolong her sleeping though and she still woke 2 hours later. Im quite aware of the 4 month regression and agree it definitely sounds like it! Dont get me wrong i absolutely love cuddling her to sleep but also remember the problems that caused with DD1 so id like her to have the opportunities to self settle but am a little unsure which methods to try next.

Unfortunately no i can't delay work -im not at all ready to go back but financial complications have forced me.
we have the standard bath, cuddles, sitting upstairs quietly in the dark and a final feed at around 6. Though most nights she is yawning by 5pm but seems far to early for bedtime. Her daytime routine is quite inconsistent because her napping has never regulated apart from her morning one which is always an hour after she wakes though because she wakes at 5am this just feels like an extended bedtime!

No, it may work (temporarily) in that you can get some sleep but it won't be because she has learnt to self soothe or settle herself. At 4.5 months (or indeed under 2yrs) their tiny growing brains mean it's actually developmentally normal for them to wake often. It's tough on parents but it's life. I can appreciate just how worried you are about going back to work; I went back full time when my eldest was 5 months old and still waking 6+ times a night.

I would also be worried that at 4.5 months controlled crying could be quite harmful and lead baby to think there is no point in crying when he has needs which need meeting because nobody comes. As hard as it is I think you need to stick it out and catch whatever sleep you can. Hopefully once baby is on solids he will be more full at night and be less likely to wake so frequently.

My guess is this will begin to sort itself out over the next few weeks, however I would aim for bedtime at 7pm and not let her sleep in the day past 4pm. I would also encourage an afternoon nap after lunch

I found having a daytime routine for naps helped with sleeping at night no idea how that works but it did seem to help!!

Personally I would keep going with the dream feed and the dummy, is she def not too hot/cold or anything else that could be waking her? Is she next to you in her cot?

I found that once dd moved into her own room at 6 months everyone slept better, I think she was easily woken up by me and likewise me by her!!

If she is going back to sleep an hour after waking up at 5am ish I would treat that the same as a night wake up, so would give milk but keep light and interaction to a minimum, change nappy if saturated and put straight back down.

Also may be worth getting her checked over my GP just to make sure no other reason for frequent wake ups like sore ears, throat, tummy etc

Thanks again, i forgot to add that she starts waking hourly about 2 - 3 hours after putting her to bed, its incredibly frustrating! I feel like im not enjoying my time with her during the day because im so exhausted. Sleeping just seems like a battle to her.
I agree i should be more proactive with her naps, I've slacked abit, ive tried following the easy routine but because she only has short naps it became hard to follow.

ive ruled out what i can think of - she may be teething a little, our room has been on the hot side recently and my hubby does snore... im tempted to try her in her room but seems silly at the mo as im up so often!

Im actually dreading bedtime....

Please don't do it. It sounds like it's only been a couple of weeks, and this is bang on the time they get rubbish at sleeping. It can often rectify itself quite quickly (it did with 2 of my 3) so just keep on with the consistent bedtime routine and dealing with wakings as normal for a little while longer.

In the meantime try to get as good naps into her as you can so she's not getting chronically overtired. I mentioned 2 of my 3 got over the sleep regression within a few weeks... The 3rd didn't. He was still doing this at 7 months when I returned to work! I would walk him a lot in the buggy to get him to sleep during the day - I got quite fit, but more exhausted! - and then we really worked hard on the settling at night. We did lots of the settling for him - patting and rocking until he fell asleep, using the dummy etc. I went cold turkey on night breastfeeds at the same time as that was his way of going back to sleep though he did have a bottle instead. he gradually learned to self settle and as he got bigger and more used to it could replace the dummy himself. He turns 1 in about 10 days, and has just string tigether 2 weeks of solid 7-6 nights which I never ever thought possible.

The sleep deprivation from an up every hour baby is horrific, but controlled crying isn't the way to go, particularly with such a tiny one.

Good luck! You have my empathy on this one.

No. Absolutely no way in fact not at any age.

Her sleeping sounds normal.

You just have to adapt your own patterns around her for a little while.

Sleeping as near to the baby as possible works very well for a lot of people - it means when you wake, the baby is right by you, and you don't have to wake so fully and walk around the house.

It makes a huge difference to sleep quality and quantity.

She is likely to be teething at present, no tooth will be visible yet but they are pushing through her gums and it will be sore.

Please don't do CC on a tiny baby.

What I mean is you have to lower your expectations. There's nothing you can do to change the baby's behaviour, not without causing great upset and letting it cry alone which no baby should have to do more than a minimal amount.

Lowering expectations is the only answer. Most babies are like this - she isn't faulty or broken, it isn't your fault

She will learn to self settle and soothe as she gets older. My DS woke every 45 minutes-1.30 hours from 3.5-5.5 months. Around 6 hours he started doing 5-6 hour stretches and then started sleeping through at 9 months! It will get better and it is totally normal. The one thing that did help a lot was a sleepyhead. I think he just felt more secure in it.

Sorry, forgot to say just do what you need to do to get some sleep, whether it's rocking, feeding to sleep, whatever. Babies change and develop so quickly, you can't make a rod for your back at this age.