4.5 months old - would you do CC?

[mariloulou]

Ok, so ill keep this as brief as I can!
DD2 not a great sleeper, up til about 4 months ish would on ocassion manage a 5 hour stretch. I could cope with that and would feed her back to sleep ( i know....) and she would go through til 6am. her naps have never been longer than 30-45mins in the day, i guess this is just the way she is.
Now the problem - she hit 4 months and everything changed. She became harder to settle and is waking every 1-2hrs. Shes also guzzling 12oz during the night and up for the day at 5am. Needless to say i am exhausted. Im due back at work in 5 weeks and need some sleep! !
i have tried PUPD which did nothing but frustrate her more when I put her down. I tried shush pat and had a bit of success. Managed to get the dummy off her which i believe wasn't helping her, and she is slightly easier to settle but she is still waking every hour and my last resort was going to be controlled crying. I know part of the problem is that she can't self settle so we need to work on that.

So, would you? Any positive stories? :(

Thank you all, its reassuring to hear im not alone, of course you feel like your doing something wrong and so i was looking for a fix! I have a few questions on routines/naps etc so ill pop back on later after kids are in bed (hopefully)

thanks again i feel MUCH calmer about it all

Just a quick comment to say my DD1 could never ever self settle and slept extremely long stretches at times, and my DD2 self settles for every nap and bedtime and doesn't sleep very well at night at all…

so in my experience self settling isn't the be-all and end-all (though it makes for an easier life, for sure).

I wouldn't do CC with a little baby either, though there are some gentler things you can try.

Thanks weebairn, what things would you suggest?
she went to bed at 6.40pm and i gave her dummy back and turned her on her side to shush pat. She was sound asleep by 7. However she woke at 7.50pm and needing the process repeating, it took seconds for her to go back off.

When we started sleep training my DS at 7mo (I was evertonmint earlier in the thread - just NC) - with the help of a night nanny because it was so awful for so long we couldn't think straight and needed someone to tell us what to do! - we did a shush-pat type thing though it was actually holding his bum and wiggling so his whole body gently shook. It would take a while to settle him. Shushing was only when he was crying as a means of getting his attention and stopping him crying, then as he stopped crying we stopped shushing but kept the rocking going.

The first few nights it was every 45 or 90 mins but after about 3 nights he started to put longer stints together. By a month we were having fairly unsettled evenings but then a good stretch after a bottle feed around 10ish until 3 or 4. We were then up for maybe an hour or even two quite often which was a killer, but after so long on only about 10 hours sleep in 24, he just really was awake after doing a 7-3/4 stretch. That started to lessen after 2-3 months and it would've more a 5 min thing once or twice a night. At 11mo he's finally started sleeping through until 6 which is frankly a bloody miracle!

Other tips: have a few sleep aids in the cot. Your baby may eventually choose not to use any but give her a choice. So a taggy blanket and or a Muslim with a big knot in it for her to hold, dummies for her to suck.

Also sleep positions are something to think about. Because DS was 7mo I was ok with trying side sleeping - this was cosier for him than back sleeping as he could be foetal, and also meant when he spat the dummy out it stayed by his mouth so he could easily find it and put it back in. He then gradually shifted more and more over and is now very definitely a tummy sleeper.

I'm not advocating this at 4.5mo given SIDS advice is for back sleeping, but your baby may eventually prefer a different, cosier position and it's something to bear in mind.

I went back to work as a zombie when he was 7mo, but se how got through it. 5 months on it is all a dim and distant nightmare. It sucks, but you will come out the other side!

Muslin!!! I try so hard not to let that autocorrect through ever, FFS!

No!

Thanks dontcry, I started shush pat by accident really, I didn't intend you, then one evening I tried it after 50 mins of her being unsettled and to my amazement it worked! I Of course thought id cracked it! Ha! Those first couple nights she settled back down so easily, but the past couple shes refusing going on her side, so making it difficult to pat. Last night was just horrendous.... after her 7.50pm wake she actually slept till 9.45pm, i was pleased with that! But then it went down hill.. I fed up as I was going to dreamfeed at 10 anyway and she did initially drift back off but them come 10.30pm she was having none of it... I would sit up pat her, put her down, hold her tummy, rinse repeat until the last time I checked the clock and I couldn't believe it was 1.25am. She had drifted off for minutes at a time and rewoken time and time again.... for 3 hours! Needless to say I was just fed up and I ended up sticking her in bed with me :( which dont get me wrong im not against it for other people at all but its just not for me. She slept ever so slightly better with me. From 2am-5.20am. Also guzzled 16oz that night.

Im at a loss, I appreciate alot of you say its normal but really? >. < its been 5 weeks now and I dont see an end to it. Today I start training at work in preparation to returning in a couple weeks. I think I might literally die

Ive just reread post and realised some bits make no sense! Apologies! Coffee please...

Has anyone tried pupd with success? I didnt stick it out because she seemed aggravated by it.

Dontcry - did you shush pat for every waking night and for naps etc? I understand consistency is helpful but during the day she HATES being in her cot and really only sleeps in her pushchair.

I feel its work that's causing the stress?babies will settle eventually its just time , when you look back at this (staying up all night waiting for teenagers to fall through the door) you will see new borns/babies are the easiest times .... My children were awul sleepers but I slept when they slept during day/night I would take early sleep shift and dp took second shift, you just do what you do to get by, co sleep! if sleeps in buggy so let it be and sleep while shes in there etc etc
There is no right or wrong way just a get by way

Yes 2boys2girls im dreading going back to work, I work extremely long shifts and then coming home to a sleepless night. My husband also works 10-11hr days and has helped out when he can during the night but found it really effected the next day.
I think ive let myself get too engrossed in all the textbooks... one being the baby whisperer ( I may burn it later.... )

Textbooks are not the answer as like googling it can put the fear of God in you, just ride the storm it'll feel like its forever but its not its a small window in your life , I would often be in bed at 7pm to play catch up and sleep through until 11 then take over from dp, weekends dp would get up to do the night/early morning shift and I would sleep then get up and he would go back to be, its not ideal but it didn't last forever x

as I was reading your earlier posts, a response was forming along lines of step the fuck away from the Baby Whisperer!! Glad you've reached that conclusion already. My copy is firmly in the bin.

Your LO ones a lot like mine at that age. We are definitely in a better place at 8 months, but remember how rubbish the lack of sleep was, without return to work thrown in.

I coped by co-sleeping (in bed, even moving to the bednest was a step too far!) and napping in bed with him in the day when possible. Lots of naps in the sling (tracey Hogg would turn in her grave....) to help counter the too tiredness. Also if feeding to sleep gets the quickest result of everyone back to bed... Do it!!

It does sound like a struggle (((hugs)) mari

I wonder if something like cranial osteopathy might help? Or baby massage?

I think it sounds quite extreme even for the 4 month sleep regression, I remember with my dd hitting a point where I physically couldn't get out if bed to get to her. Was vomiting with tiredness etc, a couple of times she did cio which I am not proud of but I honestly don't feel that I would have been safe to pick her up.

I did cc from 6 months in that when she woke I would reassure but not pick her up, I only gave milk over night at 10pm and 5am and unless was extremely desperate would not give milk in between. This did work for us and dd slept much better. Infact after a week I could put her down at 7pm with no crying, dream feed at 10pm and then she would sleep through til 5am or sometimes 7am. So for me it was worth it but understand cc is always going to be controversial.

At the end of the day your needs have to be met as well in order for you to function!

If she is yawning and tired at 5pm then id be putting her to bed at half five rather than six. Overtiredness promotes frequent waking in my experience.

Thanks again. I can see myself Co sleeping a lot more in the future if this continues because i don't think I can hack it!! She was tired by 6 tonight so asleep by 6.30pm but has already woken twice!
I know the feeling girliefriend, im starting to get terrible headaches during the day and i feel so bloody lethargic. Im so so worried im going to crumble!
Lepetit -i would try to catch up in the day with sleep but she really doesn't sleep for longer than 45 mins even with me...

should i limit her night feeds? Could she be waking for a "midnight snack ". Then again if she is having a growth spurt i would feel terrible denying her food! My goodness this parenting malarkey is confusing :(

I wanted to ask generally if you didn't do any sleep training and you did rock baby to sleep and feed and co sleep DID it all rectify itself in the end? Did your baby just learn to sleep alone and without help? I know every baby is different but it would be interesting to know. People tell me not to worry but im a natural worrier and feel like ill never be able to help her and it will get worse! Someone slap me ffs!!!!!!

She woke again!! Thats every hour almost on the hour since 6.30pm. Shes half asleep so has gone back off with the dummy and being tucked back in but its just relentless! She would at least sleep til 10 most nights without waking then wake every hour from then but now it's just getting worse.

Is her room properly dark?

This time of year doesn't help with sleep issues!!

It was around this time I crumpled mari and in desperation I did get a copy of the contented little baby book, this helped in that it gave me a rough idea of when dd might be tired and might be hungry.

I think generally most babies do sleep in the end but some do find it harder than others!!

If I were you I would def look into cranial osteopathy, also have you tried giving teething powder or even calpol to see if it makes any difference?

My children never slept in the day really and only cat napped during night some nights were better than others, I just coped by sleeping when they did, share care, co sleeping and feeding on demand and it came good in the end x

And lots of c's "crying coffee crap tv"

Haha yes ive had the pleasure of watching a lot of early morning crap telly just lately.

I think if anything ive come to a
Conclusion that I can't change things at the mo and my only option is to try make things as easy and bare able as poss. Last night I brought her into bed with me at 10pm. She slept til 1, then fed and slept 2-6am. Best night in weeks. So she can sleep long ish periods but not alone.... im going to cuddle and accept and when I feel the time is right to move her to her bedroom, approx 6 months ill see how her sleeping is and if something needs to be done then.

Thanks all to those who took the time to reply, even if a problem isnt solved it feels better to know your not alone!x