right extended bf'ders, your suggestions to bring about miracle sleeping baby pls

[FillyjonkthePumpkinEater]

right, i give in

am not going to use controlled crying or similar but need to be sure I am not wantomly depriving myself of sleep

dd-15 months. wakes up hourly b/w 9 and 6. Between 3 and 6 is the worst as she demands constant feeding. If I get up with her, she says "no, bed" very firmly.

she is very lovely but right now, I am not.

thoughts?

failing that-when do they start sleeping through more of the night?

ps yesihaveasling

shudder

LOL! I think it's possible for a baby/toddler to be comforted without being b/fed.

It all depends on what you actually want from it I suppose. I was exhausted, suffering from PND and had DD who was 2 at the time to look after. On balance, cutting out night time b/feeds was a sacrifice worth making for all of us. Sometimes it comes down to making sacrifices for the benefit of ALL the family, not just the individual. But, again - it really does depend on what you want to gain.

Er, Morningpaper, I think you'll find those are mine - loved your article btw - only saw it the other day.

adn i gaeve ds a hard stare(tm)

ok, not read all the posts but fwiw here's what i did.
Ds was bf until 11 months - woke up at least 3 times per night to be fed, and hardly ate/drank in the day (when i returned to work) as refused a bottle. Would have about 1oz (not joking!) of formula and sips of water for 9 hours. Wow did he make up for it when we got home.

I think I was ready to stop but the only solution was to not feed him at night. Not as easy as it sounds, and the thought of doing it was horrific as we had never taught him to self-soothe .

Picked the night and even though he SCREAMED for an hour, and rooted for England, I refused to feed him til 6am.
Next night he whimpered for 40 mins.
3rd night he snivelled for 5 mins, gave him bottle not breast first thing in morning.
4th night still woke up for a cuddle but didn't bother trying to get milk, just went back to sleep 5 mins later.
5th night, bottle to bed and no more bf.

I thought it would take years!! Just a couple of nights of near total sleep deprivation but well worth it.
If you decide to do it, stick to it even if it takes 4 hours of crying. If you give in at any point.....they know they'll get their reward!

she speaketh sens
its like syiong
" my kids cries so i give him chocolate" then sayinf" but i wont stop giving him chocolate cos he needs it"

and forgot to say...

When did you last read of a baby in the news who self-starved because mum refused to bf at night.....?

i thankyou cc

no they didnt they then pissed about

yes at 5 months you haev pitya dn love them
at 15 montrhs you say
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I think it's possible for a baby/toddler to be comforted without being b/fed."

Yes, so do I VVV. I certainly don't mean my posts to Filly to imply a criticism of anyone who chose a different way to deal with this. But Filly does feel her dd needs to be fed in the night, I think

not just that it has become a habit she cant break, or is too scared / lazy / idiotically hippiefied / whatever to do anything about

and I think people advising Filly to leave her dd to cry, or just say 'no' and be done with it, don't seem to have read any of the thread, let alone all of it

Cod, I agree with you.

Ds twatted me about - only coz i let him!! It was only when sleep exhaustion left me a growling wreck that I took action (ok, so the HV suggested what to do).

Ds now 2.6 and pleased to say, never once admitted to hospital with malnutrition.

I don't think anyone thinks that feeding a toddler in the night is about nutrition, do they?

don't they?
I used to fret that the reason he woke up was because he didn't eat/drink enough in the day. So therefore, I had to feed him otherwise he wouldn't be getting enough nutrition.

Sorry, didn't mean to cause any offence, was just sharing my experience and I DO appreciate that everyone experiences pareting differently.
Was trying to explain how my perspective changed after stopping bf, but not advocating that everyone stop doing it!!

Aw, bless you CC

you were a bit of a soft fool, weren't you?

(there are more needs in life than just getting fed, though, don't you think? Just because they are not going to starve doesn't mean they don't still really need it, on a deep level. Some do, more than others IMO)

Can I just clarify, that I wasnt suggesting the following that you posted was the case with fillyj (am hoping you were referring to other posters )

"not just that it has become a habit she cant break, or is too scared / lazy / idiotically hippiefied / whatever to do anything about "

Although, I think filly needs to balance her DD's needs with her DS's needs. Its not so clear cut when you have two or more.

Filly - I really can't help you, we have simply been very lucky, I believe (ds 17 months, woke to bf 5-6 times a night for a long time - I've only got one dc, but a FT job as well - but just sorted himself out and although I still bf him to sleep, he usually only wakes once or twice), but just wanted to add my sympathies for that awful, crushing sleep deprivation. Franny's posts are fab.

Oh dear VVV no I did not mean to suggest that about your posts at all

I meant cod's posts of course as I am sure she knows

and others on here that have suggested night feeding is only ever a bad habit

Hoping you and dd are sleeping well Filly