right extended bf'ders, your suggestions to bring about miracle sleeping baby pls

[FillyjonkthePumpkinEater]

right, i give in

am not going to use controlled crying or similar but need to be sure I am not wantomly depriving myself of sleep

dd-15 months. wakes up hourly b/w 9 and 6. Between 3 and 6 is the worst as she demands constant feeding. If I get up with her, she says "no, bed" very firmly.

she is very lovely but right now, I am not.

thoughts?

failing that-when do they start sleeping through more of the night?

ps yesihaveasling

its fine, lulu-tbh, leaving her to cry would be worse for me than sleep deprivation. Which might sound odd, but...

we also co sleep.

I think it is quite reasonable for her to want the comfort through the night, I really do. But I am sore and squishy.

Give her a good meal very soon before bed - 3 courses if necessary - soup with bread, risotto made with nice filling brown rice and then pudding. And a banana for good measure.
My dd2 tends to eat well in the eveningand sleeps through until about 5 (but she goes to bed quite late). We are bf-ing co-sleepers.

oh and ta tracy, will try dp on it, he is better at getting her to sleep-actually he's the only one who can get her off without milk-but he also works and is lousy at copin w/o sleep.

ok tick, how late do I give the meal?

My ds is only 8 months but has been spending more and more time in our bed feeding lately. I've introduced extra bf during the day, and bigger meals to try and help (only up once last night and went 7 hours the night before). Definitely worth a try

I also found that both my dds stopped waking whaen I weaned them off bf, but he is my last and I'm not willing to try it this time.

i mean, she eats like a truck driver as it is, but its got to be worth a try

complex carbs? protein? any thoughts?

Well, dd2 eats dinner at least 2.5 hours before bed but often follows it with fruit right through till bedtime. She goes to bed at the same time as me though which is usually around 10.

How about bnana porridge as a late supper?

so meal around 7.30 then froot snacks

aaah. we are already doing that

might try weetabox before bed though

actually there might be something in that, cos she is always hungry. But always so can see she might actually be hungry every hour.

Ok today she has had about 4 slices of toast for b/f (and this is homemade doorstop toast), oaty muffin midmorning and bananas, lunch beans and doorstop bread and cheese, then from 2-now, she has been feeding.

This is getting mad. She bascially spends the day feeding

she is on the 25th percentile, btw.

Perhaps it's a metabolism thing - people vary so much. Or maybe just a growth spurt?

right and now i must go and make her more food

ta-ra

her dad is 6 ft and weight 10 stone and could eat for wales

this is NOT FAIR!

Good luck fily, tbh I'd give her whatever you know she will eat just to see if it makes any difference.

Weetabix and banana always popular here though

I know what you mean about feeling its ridiculous, my whole day seems to focus on what dd is going to be eating next, I'm sooo bored of food

Filly am busy but will try to help later

Filly, no advice, but I am in the same boat. Ds is 18mo, bf, co-sleeping for part of the night and has never slept through. I think he just wants the comfort throughout the night, and it is not weird to not want to deny that comfort. Co-sleeping has given me a much better sleep, and I just can't go down the CC route, so I am resigned to it (even if it's not the uninterrupted sleep I dream of!)

I thought it would get better, but he really is going through a phase of waking more frequently than he ever has I'm sure it will get better though I would love to know when!

hope it works out with the extra food idea..

more food never worked for me I'm afraid. Wear a nightie and big jumper and you/dp offer her a bottle of milk. If she's hungry - surely she'd drink it? Thats why I never minded getting up for ds - when I gave him a bottle - he usually wolfed it - but the times he didn't take it enthusiastically - I knew he was just chancing it.

Does she suckle back to sleep - or take a good drink and fall asleep - or take a drink and stay awake? Teeth?

suckles back to sleep but then, and arrgh this is the killer, wakes up when she so much as moves. So she falls off the nork, and that wakes her up.

tatties- htf can this be how its meant to be, eh?

franny pls help if you can, cd in it for you (you can have one anyway but...help great)

Empathy and sympathy. Have a 17-month old and am in same position. Just nibbles away when in our bed - drives me nuts after a while.

We did cure it for a week when on holiday. I just did not go into her, partner did. Stayed with her for 1.5 hours whilst she cried but, after 1st night, that was it. Slept through! Couldn't keep it up at home since she shares our room - no real alternative.

Will be doing the same when we finally move.

ta tinker, am thinking something like this may be the way to go but honestly don't see how can sustain it while co-sleeping, really.

ok

so now she is on fecking food strike

bump for franny

Oh, dear, I have been thinking about you

oh the pressure

let me go and cogitate a bit and try to get over my latest changing room shame

ok, I don't know if I can help and I am worried you think I can

Ds did not sleep through until he was 3 and we put him in his own room

In fact he still doesn't sleep through every night but whatever...

Erm so I really do know how you feel. First of all before I tried anything else I would start going to bed when she does. Yes I know it is horrific but you must have some sleep. Just do this for a few nights until you feel sentient again.

After that, have you tried any form of night weaning at all or have you always just done the she squeaks, you feed her thing? What happens if you try to just cuddle and pat her? What happens if she goes to sleep somewhere other than your bed (mattress on the floor?) does she still wake up at the same time / as frequently? We found a bit of distance helped the wakings become less frequent, over a very long period.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? Any good? There is one for toddlers which is the one you need. She starts off assuming you are bf and co-sleeping and takes it from there, it is totally child-centred.

If I said "I have a crystal ball and there is nothing you can do to solve this, she will go on waking until she is 3 whatever you do, so just concentrate on meeting her needs" how would you feel? What would you do?

How much understanding does she have? Can you explain things to her? If you took the tack of comforting her but not feeding her, and she cried in your arms at times during the night, would it bugger things up with waking up ds, dp's work etc?

Sorry for all questions but it is very hard indeed isn't it? I do want to give sensible advice and hope I can do...

I think as Tinker said, you need some help with this from your partners.

I know that no-one wants their baby to cry, but, if their baby is crying, and yet Dad, Nan or whoever is laying their, patting their back and shushing them or speakly softly to them - instead of you feeding them - then that is not so terrible, no?

You need to pick a day to start. Set up a "sleep" camp for whoever is going to do this for you. Put your baby down to sleep as normal, and set a target for when you wont b/feed between. For example with my DS - I knew he had gone one night from 8pm till 5.30am once so I knew it was possible for him to go that long without feeding. So, I decided I wouldnt b/feed him (he wouldnt take a bottle of ebm either) until after 5.30am, so inbetween that time it would be pat and shush. (No taking him out of cot either). When he first woke at about 11pm I went in and patted and shushed and layed him back down. After 45 mins he settled to sleep. He woke again half hour later, then half an hour after that, then half hour after that. He slept through from 2am to 6am that night.

The next night he woke once at about 12.30am I think - quickly settled back down to sleep, from being patted and then slept through till about 7.30am!!!! (Times might not be quite accurate - would probably have to trawl the archives but it was just the one waking on the 2nd night). From there on, that was it...has pretty much slept through. (Not including waking with teeth or temperatures).

He was never left on his own when upset, I was there. I think for you folks you need someone to do this for you that you trust. They wont be on their own - they WILL be being comforted, just not by being b/fed.

Hope that helps...

we are nearly there.......

took huge efforts in several stages....
but tonight might even be the night