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Sleep

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Original poster

Misery Loves Company...nope. Still not sleeping.

502 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 13/02/2015 14:32

Long-term sleep deprivation getting you down?

Join us here for Brew Brew Brew and plenty of sympathy.

Ride the mo-fo out or something must be done - the choice is yours.

And remember the First Rule of Sleep Club - do not mention that things are going well or you will PAY.

OP posts:
Lilipot15 · 14/04/2015 20:42

Yes, exactly Chocolate, I think to myself, let's just see how these "good" little sleepers are as toddlers/teenagers!!

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 14/04/2015 21:11

I think I've used up my credit - DS1 was an absolute doddle to toilet train. I think that was my reward for no sleep. Clean carpets.

OP posts:
ChocolateIsMySleep · 14/04/2015 21:24

Ha, I've definitely not used up any credits there! We've been trying again this week. Bless her, she just can't relax and do a wee on the potty. If she's bare bummed, she'll hold it for hours, if she's in pants, she'll just go wherever she is. Sigh....

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 15/04/2015 20:19

Oh Elph, I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean 'others have it worse, mustn't grumble'. I just meant that, if the idiot comments wear thin for me, imagine what it must be like when you have a lifetime of them (and, unlike me, can't either totally brazen it out with fake cheer or lie).

On the subject of sleep, DS was a star last night. Through until 4, quick feed and off until 6. I realise that at nearly one others would class this as problem sleeping. I, obviously, don't.

However, the sleep gods are laughing at me. Today, DD2 has a vomiting bug Sad

Greenstone · 16/04/2015 07:33

Remind me NOT to ever attempt a dream feed again. Not once has that ever ever worked. So I just woke a sleeping baby and then she partied all damn night.

Does anyone else manage to do this with a breastfed baby? !

Greenstone · 16/04/2015 07:36

Delighted for you though Penguins! That's a great night by any standards from your ds. Sorry about ddSad

Cheeriosfortotoro · 16/04/2015 08:12

Dd2 is 4 months so is going through sleep regression and dd1 wakes pretty much every night too. God I'm exhausted. Dd1 used to sleep fine but since her sister arrived she's up once or twice in the night its really thrown her. :( I'm breastfeeding dd2 but part of me wants to try formula to just see if it helps as dd1 was ff and was never like this at this stage. :( feel like I'm a selfish mum.

Cheeriosfortotoro · 16/04/2015 08:14

I know most of you guys are having it a lot more difficult than me sorry.

Beccus · 16/04/2015 14:56

does anyone have any experience of sleep consultants? I have been logging ds' sleep as per no cry sleep solution and there seem to have been v slow, small improvements over 40 days. no of average wake ups has dropped from 5.5 per night to 4.5. I am grateful there's been improvement, but by god, it's slow going. I guess I worry what they suggest wont work and we will all go through trauma for nothing. I think I know what they will say - mostly less feeding at night and then wonder if I really need to pay £200 to hear someone tell me that. but, at the same time, I see them a bit like a personal trainer. I think I broadly know what to do, but I guess they will be more specific about it and encourage me after multiple nights of sleep deprivation and crying baby. i would gladly pay £200 to someone if I knew it would work and there wouldn't be too much trauma involved

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 16/04/2015 16:59

Beccus Many of us on here have used/are using this sleep consultant - the famous 'Ann' you often see referred to on here. I used her with DS1 and am using her now with DS2. Her methods are very different to other sleep consultants. From what I can gather, most consultants give you the option of CC or gradual withdrawal then act as a hand to hold throughout. Ann has a very different approach that you won't find on Google.

OP posts:
RaspberryBlonde · 16/04/2015 19:47

Dream feed never worked for us either Greenstone, the actual feed used to be fine but then she'd be wide awake as soon as she was put back down, so I just used to take the half hour snooze I usually got before being woken!

Touch wood we are still at one wake up most nights at varying times. Bedtimes are taking forever though, well over an hour to get her off. I suspect she is overtired by the time we get her home from childminder but don't know what to do as neither myself nor DH can leave work earlier. Any wise thoughts? We are also going through another clingy phase so any attempt to self settle is met with terrified screaming.

Cheerios I am always full of awe to anyone who has two non sleepers! Maybe you will be lucky and four month regression will pass. We BF here too and not sure switching to formula would make much difference, especially in a regression phase, certainly lots of us here found starting solids made no difference. At least with BF you don't really need to get out of bed!

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 16/04/2015 20:08

Oh, yes, dreamfeed.

Me, me! I was able to dreamfeed DS2, either EBM from a bottle or directly from the boob. Was able to put him back down in his cot still asleep and everything. Never made the slightest difference in keeping him asleep longer, so I wouldn't get too fussed about attempting it with a dedicated non-sleeper.

OP posts:
PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 16/04/2015 20:32

Mine happily took it as an extra but made no difference. Only benefit was, when DS went through a phase of waking about 10.30/11, if you fed him when you went to bed he'd treat that as that waking, so you'd probably be up in 2 hours, not 20 minutes.

Beccus · 16/04/2015 21:57

thx elphababa - ann has a mega waiting list. if I do get a sleep consultant, I think I will get this other lady she referred me to, who she mentors. I figure if she is mentoring her, they must have a similar approach. in hindsight, when would you say the best time is to get a sleep consultant?

Needsweetstosurvive · 17/04/2015 07:56

I am hanging today! It was DS's 1st birthday yesterday and his sleep had really started to improve but last night was hideous! He didn't sleep for longer than 30mins/an hour at a time then was awake from 2am until 3.30 when he finally settled after calpol and slept 2.5hrs. The only thing a can put it down to is teething molars, but could that really mess his sleep up that much? For the record, he had decreased his night wakings from around 6 a night to between 1 and 3 until last night!

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 17/04/2015 08:59

Beccus I'd go with whoever Ann recommends.

I don't know if there is a 'best time'. The helpful things for me with both DSs was that working with Ann coincided with times when I was not working and they were/have been at nursery during the day so, during the inevitable times when you get less sleep during sleep work, you're able to get some rest, and thereby fortify your willpower for the nights, plus you don't also have to be working on naps as well. I can't remember if you're working ATM. If you are, could you take a couple of weeks of AL while maintaining your childcare arrangements? I guess that would be my best advice.

Age-wise, I don't think it really makes a difference. DS1 was 21 months when we started work with Ann; DS2 was 6 months (now 8 months...work is ongoing...) so the approaches are really very different.

OP posts:
Beccus · 17/04/2015 14:30

thx elphababa. I'm on mat leave but have no child care for ds, so would have to coffee myself up to the max ;)

Greenstone · 19/04/2015 08:33

Hello everyone. How are the little people doing?
Dd2 had a terrible night last night so I'm very grumpy this morning. I am back to work in a week Shock and just don't know what to do because cot naps were really going well but she seems to have regressed a bit and now it seems I have to bloody swaddle her arms for that too - plus dummy usually.
I'm still having ridiculous dummy angst - to be honest I truly hate the things, although they saved my life for car journeys during her hellish early days so I am very grateful for that. But now we're faffing around with them and losing them in the night and it makes me rageful, partly because i have this stupid aversion to them I guess.
Ah well, I just need to stop moaning, she's still pretty small. I normally don't have much truck with growth spurts etc as both of my behaved like that all the time and not just during certain weeks - but did anyone notice a 6 month growth spurt? Dd is 24 weeks and both dh and I thought she literally looked fatter after she woke up from a nap yesterday!

Lilipot15 · 19/04/2015 09:20

Greenstone I remember a (more) difficult time with sleep around 6 months. Could it be a Wonder Week?
Dummy-wise we ended up using a sleepytot dummy bunny at around 8 months but I'm not sure what age they are recommended from. Could be worth a try. Alternatively just put a few dummies in her cot for her to find (you've prob already tried this)

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 19/04/2015 10:58

Teething here again once again dashing glimmers of any hope DS2 was giving me about his sleep. He did an almost seven hour uninterrupted stretch in his cot the other night Shock It's just as well he woke up as I was about to go in there and check vitals. He's never slept for so long in his life. DS1 was awake, naturally, so I didn't get almost seven uninterrupted hours, mind. The hourly wake-up service resumed last night though Hmm

I'm back to work full time from Thursday, Greenstone. We can commiserate over several virtual Brew

OP posts:
Greenstone · 19/04/2015 11:07

Oh yes let's elphaba! I wonder will childcare help our woes at all- not really if teething is involved but just the babies being settled by other people...who knows. But mega mega well done to ds2 for the 7 hour stretch that's utterly fab even if you didn't profit from it - he CAN do it and WILL do it again Brew

Thank you lili for the moral support - dd doesn't even really like the dummies that much but I have to use them to get her to go back to sleep after a feed sometimes, she needs to be burped quite a bit still which makes her wide awake and then she starts manically babbling and wanting to play hence the need to swaddle arms and stuff mouth closed and rock her to sleep! If she would just feed and go back to sleep I wouldn't mind the wakings but it's never that simple eh Smile

Onwards!

Needsweetstosurvive · 19/04/2015 11:56

I vividly remember my DS2 doing a 7 hour stretch at 8mo..... It's never been repeated.... Can't complain too much though. At 12mo now and 4 - 5 hour stretches at least once a night are becoming more regular, when he isn't teething that is! These molars are taking forever to come through.

FraterculaArctica · 19/04/2015 20:58

Hope everyone else's return to work goes better than mine has - since starting back 3 days a week on 1 April, we've had 2 bank holidays (I'd prefer to work, actually, it's a nice break from DS!), on Friday I was sick with a lurgy, DH now has the same lurgy and is probably going to be too sick to look after DS tomorrow, and we can't send him to nursery since he's got conjunctivitis for the 3rd time in just over a month. Which means I have to get a GP appointment at our impossible-to-reach surgery.

I'm feeling particularly grim as I'm having a flare up of a chronic health condition - why now??? Why are we all so ill NOW in this house when we're actually finally getting a survivable amount of sleep??

Molars taking forever to come through here. One (or possibly 2) definitely through, 3rd causing a lot of grief. We keep on backtracking on Ann's plan as it seems unreasonable just to push the poor little boy on through the pain. Oh, and he's got a terrible cough - was awake for 2.5 hours at one point the night before last, a habit that had seemed well and truly broken, because every time he tried to go to sleep another cough woke him up. Then this turned into howling because he couldn't go to sleep... and then he couldn't go to sleep because he was howling. Does anyone else find themselves wanting to say to their DC 'just stop crying, because actually you'll find you can't go to sleep WHILE MAKING THAT GREAT NOISE'.

Elph 7 hours is great, well done DS2! DS managed a peak of 5 hours (once...) at his age, when we pushed him as hard as we felt OK with, before we started working with Ann. 4-5 hours are reasonably common with us too at the same age now Needsweets and he once did 9 hours... so we are getting there.

ChocolateIsMySleep · 20/04/2015 10:44

Hi all,

Well we're back from holiday in one piece. Didn't get much sleep so what's new but otherwise all went well. Except that I don't think my stepdad will volunteer to fly with us again Grin

Shitactular night again last night. I've come to the conclusion that DD1 just has insomnia. Once again last night she was awake from 3 am. For THREE bastard hours. I don't think she had a nightmare, there didn't seem to be any other reason for her to be awake, she didn't want anything other than my company but even with that she just wouldn't or couldn't go to bloody sleep.

Naturally this was after DD2 being awake till midnight then waking at 6. And I think they've wrecked my ability to sleep to the extent that I was already awake at 3am and had been for about 2 hours.

I think I eventually managed an hour between 6.30 and 7.30. Sigh....

Well done to your DS2 Elph, hope he starts to do it more regularly and that DS1 lets you get some sleep when he does! I do think a lot now that I could cope well with either DD's sleep - its just the combo and taking turns that kills me!

Greenstone yes, six months was a rough time with both my two. We also have the sleepy tot for DD2 and love it. I was very PFB about DD1 and dummies but got over it for DD2 and they have been a total life (and sanity)-saver.

Attempting to work today. Much Brew needed as brain appears to have turned into cotton wool. Clearly MNing is the answer... Hmm

ejecoms · 20/04/2015 14:23

Beccus - can I ask who Ann recommends? Although I'm persisting with the NCSS, I don't feel I'm making any progress and feel I might need a sleep consultant too! Thanks!