Misery Loves Company...nope. Still not sleeping.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Long-term sleep deprivation getting you down?

Join us here for and plenty of sympathy.

Ride the mo-fo out or something must be done - the choice is yours.

And remember the First Rule of Sleep Club - do not mention that things are going well or you will PAY.

I got 3 hours sleep in a row and no baby in with me! I don't know how we did it and she didn't repeat it last night but I felt amazing all day yesterday!!!!

We put all toys away an hour before bed, tv is off and the treasure basket comes out. We've been doing that since she was about 4 months and it made a massive difference to bedtime. Even if it took a while it was calm, stopped her being quite so frantic!

still feeding to sleep but come to the conclusion that I'll do whatever works for now as I was getting for too worked up before! Not sure what will happen when I go back to work though

The other night was a fluke. I've been up hourly until 1 when I brought her into bed and she's been wide awake since 2:45 with no sign of sleep v

Youcan that sounds rough. did you get any longer stretches after that?

our holiday is turning into a major sleep deprivation torture week. DD is waking more than ever at night and we are stuck in a hotel room with a travel cot and small uncomfortable bed. no chance of cosleeping which seems the only way to survive in these situations.

my arms and back are aching so much from having to sit on a crappy foam sofa half the night while she feeds.

anyone have any good news to give me hope again?

I got 2.5 hours after that, she just all of a sudden lay down got on the boob and went to sleep. But both me and DH were lay awake for ages! It is rough but believe me it's better than it was a week ago!

Hi again all, sorry I disappeared for a while, too tired to post really.
Had a really good stretch of about 6 hours for the first time ever the other night, it was unheard of (and came sponsored by calpol). last night though it was the usual every hour shite going on until I got into bed with her and even then wasn't great.
I can feel myself starting to obsess and wish I was the type who could just roll with it but I don't seem to be able to I'm starting cot naps today because am back at work at the end of the month and dd currently has all naps in the pram or sometimes the sling. It will be a disaster but I'm going to try to keep cool and persist.
What do you all think about dummies? Dd will take one but is not addicted yet (though would be I'm sure if I gave it to her more). Should I try to get rid now while I still can?

Can't remember who asked but dd1 is 3. She sleeps wonderfully now. I sometimes go in and look at her at night and can't remember how it got from so bad to so good. Just time I suppose and persistence. I don't mind doing night feeds at all but I hate the every hour stuff so much, it's torture!
Hope you are feeling better elphaba you sounded very sick - have you caught up on sleep even a tiny bit?

Thanks all sorry for late reply. No internet which is not a bad thing!

The screen thing drives me mad. DH and I are diametrically opposed on how much is ok. I don't mind a few nursery rhymes on in the background to distract her for ten minutes but anything beyond that is a no no (she likes the Peppa song then loses interest). He has been showing her stuff on telly since she was 4 months old (he was the SAHP for five months). We don't tend to disagree much on how to parent but on this subject we have had blazing rows.

I think he is coming round to my way of thinking before bedtime at least as we have instigated bath bottle quiet time in bedroom then bed. It makes a big difference in terms of her calm level and also I am pleased to be instilling a love of reading at a very young age :D Also he used to just plonk her between us to sleep and we've now persevered and she is staying in her own bed all night now.

With an autistic FIL it is almost impossible to get away from the TV being permanently on whilst at home and not an easy conversation to have. So I am just hanging out until we move back into our flat next month and now the weather is nicer just taking DD out as much as possible. Fresh air helps (today we went for a two hour walk so hopefully that will make her tired).

On the naps I should have clarified that she never sleeps well if she has crap naps. She normally on a good day has two naps of around an hour each morning and evening. However FIL is clunky beyond belief and normally ends up waking her in the morning. Then the dog barks when MIL comes back from work in the afternoon, no matter how much policing I try and do. So I try and get one of those naps in whilst we are in the pram - a shopping centre is more peaceful than the in-laws house which is so strange.

I am very curious to see what happens once we are in our own flat again (hopefully next month), with her in her own room for the first time ever and able to generate our own peaceful environment for her. I feel so guilty, poor baby. But she seems quite happy when she is awake so I am trying to not feel too bad! She gets hysterical if she wakes and sees we are not there. This is a problem during day naps - not such an issue at night because she is still in with us. So we will deal with that when we come to it.

Two more teeth have appeared which could also have been the problem too. DH has done nights the last week so I put earplugs in and eyepatch on and have managed a blissful five hour stretch. It is funny how that seems like such a luxury when pre-baby if I didn't get eight solid hours I would grouse and complain....just waiting for the next round of teeth to appear before we descend into hell again.

Hope the rest of you are managing to get some sleep too.

TV is an issue here too, living DH cannot stand for the house to be quiet so it is permanently on when he is in. His attitude is that it doesn't count as screen time if it isn't a programme for DD. It drives me mad having the constant background - he even recently complained it was too quiet when working from home upstairs because I switched it off! Hope that your move goes well, must be. Hard not having your own space.

to all those having disturbed nights. We are usually still getting a decent stretch but bedtimes are awful because she is already really overtired by the time we get home from the childminder so takes ages to settle. She was up at 5 today and is clearly still tired as she is semi dozing on my lap and grizzling. Early night tonight as I don't work Friday's.

Felkov sorry the sleep is making the holiday tricky.
Greenstone - we were doing okay with a dummy but now she has learnt to take them off the "dummy bunny" and faffs around doing that and laughing at sleep times! Clever but annoying. Not sure whether to remove them or not. Think we have four molars coming through at once so not the best week to change much. DH back at work next week so we've missed our window for getting her more used to him at night wakes - he's not been well in his holidays (though has done a fab job of looking after DD in the daytime) so it's been another case of doing what we have to do to survive and maximise night sleep.

FUCK I HATE TEETHING!

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE BORN WITH TEETH?

Elphaba, you just summed up my thoughts exactly! We were starting to improve here..... Then molars started cutting. I often ask myself why they couldn't be born with teeth!

Elph and needsweets - I hear you! Just as you think there may be light at the end of the tunnel more teeth come....bad design I think. DD gets a funny smell on her breath in the morning, which makes us go "ah, now I see why it was SUCH a bad night".

Lili, we have one point of a molar at the top and one point at the bottom on opposite side. Strangely though, sometimes I can feel them and sometimes they seem to retreat?! It's been like it for a week now with no sign of the rest of the tooth pushing through yet, wish they would hurry up already!

Ann's programme has just ground to a halt here because he's been ill, and now he's FUCKING teething. We had a sleep chat on Tuesday and all I did was cry down the phone at her because it just feels like two steps forwards, three steps back. I'm back to work in two and a half weeks and still up around six times a night. I had so hoped to have had some significant improvement by now so that I could at least have just a few days of remaining mat leave where I didn't feel like a zombie. But now it's going to be like Groundhog Day, and once again I'll be back at work like the walking dead.

Elphaba, my DS is 12mo next week and up until about 3 weeks ago he was up around 4 - 6 times a night. We have never done a lot with him when he wakes, doesn't get a feed, we don't pick him up. We basically tuck him in and hold his hand until he drops back off. Anyway, the last few weeks we haven't done anything differently but he has gone down to 2 - 3 wake ups. Even last night when teething he woke up 3 times, when he was teething before he used to be up every hour! I guess what I mean to say is that it can suddenly improve of it's own accord..... And then get bad again......then good again..... Then even worse for a time...... You know what I mean. You will be fine at work, feel pretty crappy most of the time but you have done it once and will do it again

That's bad timing Elph, are you at least over your bug? It sounded like you were making good progress before so hopefully teeth will be through quick and you can still see some improvement before going back to work.

These babies, if it's not one thing it's another! (It's teeth here as well )

Elph I was amazed how okay I feel at work despite the interrupted sleep (and my work is pretty full on). I read an article about how unrelenting it is parenting a toddler because you are always on the watch for hazards, etc.....at least at work you only need to think about you and your work, you only need to get your own food etc....plus you've done it before.....you will be fine. I did have a silent hollow laugh to myself yesterday when a colleague told me how tired she was from a late arrival back from holiday.

Hi all, RL getting in the way of MN-ing these days. I envy those who are able to post while DC are feeding - even as a tiny baby DS never fed for more than 5 min, and now the least sniff of a computer or phone, and milk is forgotten as he's on it like a baby possessed. He tries to 'help' during sleep chats with Ann by banging on the keyboard furiously.

I suppose if they were born with teeth then BFing rates might be even lower... we are in the thick of teething too, a couple of molars have poked their way through in the last few days. Have also been horrendously ill with stomach bug and/or some sort of ghastly virus which seems to manifest as a sore throat on repeat.

How many teeth does your DS2 have now Elph? I console myself by thinking that 10 through is quite a lot, but then remember there's still another 10 to go...

We are definitely making progress with Ann's programme despite interruptions, DS is down to 2-3 wakes a night on a good night now, though regressed horribly when ill last week. He actually slept from 8 pm till 5 am the night before my first day back at work (not repeated this feat, so far). Sounds like we are at a very similar age and stage Needsweets. I do wonder sometimes whether DS would have just improved on his own, but still we are so glad we were able to recruit Ann's help - for one thing, it enables me to see the times when things go backwards through illness/teething as temporary setbacks rather than feeling like it's all hopeless and we are right back at square one (which I did for months).

Sorry, this post probably sounds a bit smug which isn't my intention. No doubt I'll jinx the sleep progress just by writing about it.

Greenstone how old is DD2? We have just got rid of the dummy with DS (12 mo) - introduced it at 4 weeks and although it helped a lot and saved our sanity in certain situations he never really became addicted to it, it was a bit of a love-hate relationship all along really. But I realise some babies do get very attached to them. I'm quite relieved we've got rid of it and I don't have to fight that battle with a toddler.

Fratercula how did you get rid of the dummy? I've not tried putting DD down for a sleep without one. Problem is now, she rattles them (she has the ones with handles), bangs them on the cot and posts them through the bars. She does always find one to sleep with though. She had a very "criey" night - not sure if it's pain from the sore throat that DH and I both have, uncomfortable for a sticky eye she has, teeth, or all three!
Glad you are seeing progress. My DH is much better than me at viewing things as phases....except even he conceded that our "phase" is going on for ages and the birth of DC2 is getting closer and closer.

We stopped using them at bedtime first of all, then moved on to naps without dummies. We kind of had a headstart though in that DS would often fling them away when offered them in middle-of-the-night desperate resettling attempts, and often wouldn't go back to sleep even with one shoved in his mouth. Like I say, he never really took to them in the way some babies do!

Thanks Fratercula....she does seem to have a real attachment to them for sleep but haven't tried without. They were a real blessing early on when she was just sucking for comfort - a breast-feeding midwife gave me the go-ahead to give one, it was so the right decision for us then. I can also imagine that if our new baby has one in a few months it might seem a bit unfair for DD if she no longer has one (she has been known to go and fish one out of other babies' mouths!) Think we might fight the dummy battle further down the line.

Hello all, think we are also having teething related fun - we've had two nights of hysterical screaming and flinging the dummy with total rage... She is spending all day with her hands in her mouth so pretty sure that's the issue. She's got six teeth so far but hasn't had any new ones for months - which seems a bit odd. DD1 was (very) late getting teeth but then they came through fairly regularly. Molars were hellish.

I even resorted to feeding DD2 at 3am the other night as she was desperately trying to get inside my PJs. Didn't help. Have dosed with ibuprofen tonight and desperately hoping for a better night...

I was a bit PFB with DD1 and torn over the whole dummy issue from the start so she was only allowed it in the cot and I got rid of it at 6 months. In hindsight, I probably wouldn't have done as she replaced the dummy with needing back rubbing/hand holding to go to sleep which was such a hard habit to break.

DD2 was a much grizzlier, windy, uncomfortable baby so had the dummy all the time a bit more and does love it. She has a dummy bunny so can find it at night - apart from when she's lying on top of it and wails like her little heart is broken! It does usually help with earlier wake-ups as she'll just go straight off again as soon as it is replugged. Any wake-ups after 3/4 are tougher as she still wants a feed at that time but I'm trying to stick to a no feeds until 5am rule.

Although we're having a rough few days, I'd say on the whole after 3 months, there has been noticeable improvement in DD2's sleep. She has gone through till 5.30 or 6 quite a few times now and it seems to be increasing. Sadly DD1s sleep has deteriorated to make up for it - and there are a lot of teeth to go yet for DD2 so I'm not holding my breath for a regular 7/8 hour stretch any time soon . Once a week would be a good start!

Elph I had a little chortle at your very polite response to the person whose baby is getting unbroken sleep for 10 hours!! Just imagine........

chocolate ibuprofen with tea does seem to help the worst of the teething we are having here. Hope your nights continue to gradually improve.

And by tea, I mean a northern dinner. I'm not suggesting anyone gives a baby a cup of tea at bedtime!