Misery loves company: to ride it out or Something Must be Done- pick your camp :)

[DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep]

Hello again all- may the sleepers continue sleeping, the new arrivals due or here get the idea very quickly and the rest of us see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Because you don't have to retrieve and re-insert a thumb 47 times a night. Giving up my finger sucking was no drama. Mum just asked me if I thought it was time to stop when I was around ten. I said, 'Yeah, I guess so,' and I wrapped plasters around that finger day and night for the next week until the urge was gone. No big ones. I had crappy teeth and would have needed braces regardless. DH, OTOH, was a thumb-sucker, yet has the straightest most perfectly aligned teeth you have ever seen bastard

Carrying on with the kitchen tongs idea, maybe I could set up some arrangement over DS2's cot like those grabby claws in the prize machines you see in shopping malls and arcades. It gets triggered by the dummy dropping out of his mouth then flies (silently, without waking me up) into action to swiftly reinsert it.

You could make your millions with that invention elph. :o

Millions would be nice. I'll get cracking.

DS1 has fallen off the sleep wagon a bit, poor sausage. He's going through a bit of a tough time generally with protracted, intermittent spells of teething plus suddenly realising he's not an only child any more, plus generally being two, so he is UBER clingy at the moment, especially with me. He's waking up at least once in the night, and it escalates if it's DH and not me, so I'm trying to mange those on top of DS2's bazillion demands for boob. Then he's doing 5:45 wake ups and kicking off if it's not me that comes into him . I've ignored DH's grumpy face and re-set the GroClock to 6am because it's not him that's having to sit on a freezing cold floor waiting for the fucker to turn orange. Besides, I still maintain that I don't see the point in getting DS1 to sleep much past 6am, since we pretty much all have to be up and ready to get a wriggle-on at 6am when I'm back at work. Not quite sure why DH doesn't quite see this logic

DH is also being...challenging. Every. Single. Weekend. He is too ill/exhausted/both to carry on and needs at least one lie-in plus a nap at some point. He has been in bed all day today with a migraine. Last week it was 'feeling really peculiar' that confined him to bed all Saturday afternoon' and I concede he did look pale. He does work ridiculously hard - full time job, plus a small business he runs from home that is successful enough to be on-track to pay off our mortgage in a couple of years. But he still gets more sleep than I do - unbroken sleep, particularly. I'm doing my best to do the lion's-share of the housework and childcare to enable him to do this but, seriously, I haven't had one lie-in (definition: extra hour or two in the morning, not an actual teenager 'lie in'), since DS2 was born (not that DS1 would let me have one anyway, ATM), and I've had exactly four naps in that time, the longest one of which was 90 minutes when DS2 was about eight days old. I'm pretty hardened to this doing a shit-load on no sleep grind but I just hope it doesn't all come back to bite me in the arse, health-wise. Fortunately, FIL and MIL were around today to buy me lunch and help with the DCs, but that's the exception rather than the rule. I'm trying to steel myself to have Words with DH about putting a cap on his working hours so he's not so wrecked all the time, but don't want to sound like a heartless bitch, even though what I really want to say is, 'man the fuck up and kill the dying swan'.

Sorry about that. Needed a rant

I would really struggle not to kill him in his lazy face to find any sympathy for him, Elphaba. Kudos on not having given the 'man the fuck up' speech yet, but it sounds like it might be time.

DD is in her own room for the first time tonight. She's woken up crying and needing to be fed/cuddled 4 times in the past 2 hours. The last time I sent DH in instead but that made it worse.
She's a bit snotty/chesty and she's been a bit hot since yesterday. She keeps coughing and waking herself up, poor lamb :(

Toby

He's honestly not lazy, though. He's just very good at putting everything into work such that he's got little or nothing left to put into the DCs and, by association, me since it's only me who can pick up the slack. I don't want to moan too much since there's single mums and forces wives/partners who have to manage without help all the time, but since I have the advantage of an extra body in the house, I'd rather it was a bit more functional and productive.

Nine wake-ups last night between both boys. DS2 16 weeks today

Argh! I think dd might have just realised we are back on the gradual retreat again. She just wailed at me for 2 hours because I wouldn't let her sleep on my lap. I have barely made it off the flipping bed yet.

Not as bad as your lot though elph. Sounds like you need to have a talk about priorities with your dh. I am sure he thinks he is doing the right thing by working so hard to pay off the mortgage but it's not doing you any favours if you both end up killing yourselves in the process.

Everyone seems to have a cold here too Toby. I think we might all drown in snot if we're not careful.

Hello ladies :)

I tried to read backwards a bit and came across Elph short version

I'll give you a Readers' Digest version of the last 10 pages:
FUCK I'M TIRED!
WHY DON'T THEY FUCKING SLEEP?!
Try Ann!
Yay! They're sleeping!

ARGH! NO SLEEP!

Missing your company but I'm not going to boast about my sleeping kids.I'm on the go 6ish am to 9:30pm every day so no much time for computer except the evening where all the house job are waiting.I'm knackered.

I never thought that having kids would kill 99% of my social life (not that I have so many friends).

Take care everybody,thinking about you but no time to keep up :(

Thanks for the shortened version bald/elph just the right length for me to process.

Will try to catch up when I have had more sleep.

Back at work. Night shifts last week coinciding with kids having German Measles. Kids missing me and bursting in during my day time sleep, 4 hours broken sleep and 12 hour nights don't mix.

Last night went:

Ds up - cutting tooth
Dd2 breathing badly, administer inhaler and sit up worrying about needing to go to A&E.
D's wake for boob
Dd1 wake and climbs into our bed
Dd2 wake and climb into our bed
Me leaving bed and getting into dd1's bed
D's waking and refusing to sleep,me getting cold on the floor.
Dd2 wakes
Make up sofa bed for me to sleep with dd1 so her screaming doesn't wake D's as I have just got him back to sleep.
Dd2 back to sleep, now getting light.
D's wakes, feed back to sleep sitting on cold floor.
Fall asleep on sofa bed.
Dh and dd1 wake me up before school run.

I took DS1 into bed with me last night when I was almost falling down with tiredness at his 2am wake-up, having already been awake at 12am and 1am for DS2, in the hope that he would stay the fuck asleep and maybe even stay asleep past 5:50am (why 5:50am? What the fuck is it with him and 5:50 a-fucking-m?!)

Well, he thought that was great japes. Chatted to me excitedly for the better part of 45 minutes, screamed his tits off for a bit when I sat up to feed DS2 yet again, then fell asleep and, yes, stayed asleep until 7am. DS2, however was awake and ready to party at 5:30am, following several more wake ups.

DH has finally arisen from his sick bed today, after giving me assurances that he won't do any more really late nights of working, so he can share bedtimes again and wake-ups. I am worn.

Oh Elph I feel your pain I really do! I remember things going totally tits up around the 10 week mark when DD1 worked out that DD2 was here to stay and promptly came down with chicken pox, gave up sleep and naps and started refusing to go to bed (after months of being an angel). It took a couple of months but things did even out again and DD1 went back to (mostly) sleeping through.

I was quietly celebrating yesterday after DD2 only woke up 4 times the night before (compared to every 45 minutes on Sunday night) and DD1 once (which I made OH deal with because DD2 was almost back to sleep on my chest and there was no way I was moving!). Then a friend came round with her 16 week old FF baby who has been sleeping from 10pm to 6 am since 10 weeks old!!!!!!!! FFS. Luckily said friend wasn't smug and seemed fairly incredulous herself otherwise I might have punched her in the face

Stitch, I don't know how you are still standing. You are doing a very good job of curing me of my lingering slight broodiness however!

Oh shit elph, sounds dire. I had DD up for fucking hours last night. 'I neeeed a adult, can I sleep in your bed?' except like your DS, she didn't bloody sleep. Finally got her in her own bed, nearly drifting off at last (at 4am or something) and DT1 appeared. I was so frustrated I told him to get back in bed immediately. He cried. I went on strike. DH got up. It was all shit. DD slept in til I woke her at 11 fucking am (!!!) after her night antics. DT1 has moved his 5:30am start to reliably after 6:30 now (sorry elph) so thank goodness this morning was a 6:50 morning from him.

So still a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly here for nights.

Nothing as bad as a newborn though. I have to say, your stories elph are reminding me how utterly, utterly shit it was when the boys were babies. Maybe it'll even cure my broodiness. Oh and elph, I have finally done a full 2 hours of paid work. Oh, and 3 hours covering a colleague also having similar trouble at my old wrok place hydro class while she was off sick. Since March... I need to do a bit quick to save my registration! Exceot the DTs go totally batshot crazy if I leave. I did a trainign afternoon with the company I've registered with today and had my (divorced) parents both up to have my cubs. Wasn't pretty. The refluxer cried for me til he vomited, the other cried too, DD was bored as they were too busy with DTs. All shit. I feel guilty for enjoying the 4 hours of no bloody fucking screaming (walked into the door to tandem screaming, of course)

chocolate It isn't great when you celerate a mere 5 wake ups a night... May it be the beginning of better sleep. And precisely 0 wake ups. All night. Forever.

Anyway, my bed is calling. Good luck sleep-clubbers.

Sorry for the terrible typos, repeated information and general uselessness of those posts. Ahem. As I said, sleep deprived last night. And didn't check older posts, and have absolutely no short term memory, clearly.

Sorry Dreaming - didn't acknowledge your previous comments about your work. Good job to keep the registration going. It's a bastard to get back if you let it lapse. And working with a stroke patient, eh? Keep this up and you might start locumming where I work and we'll end up propping a hemi up together!

I concur that Stitch and Dreaming's tales give me a firm reminder as to why three would be a bad move (not that we can afford a third, so it's a non-starter anyway).

DS1 gave me more grief between 4am and 5:15am this morning. I know it's because he's feeling dispossessed and I feel like shit I'm almost tempted to contact Ann for a sleep chat, but I'm reasonably sure I know what she'd tell me to do. It's just finding the DS2-free hours in the day to do it! He went off happily to nursery today, thank the good Lord. The last few mornings have been carnage.

How's mum doing, Hear?

I really must change this nappy and there's chocolate brioche downstairs...

Hello all, Dreaming that sounds horrendous, poor you. Definitely sorting out broodiness!

All being a bit crap here again although not as awful as your night or dealing with a newborn! DD1 seems to be awake till 9/9.30 most nights and i end up having to go in 2/3 times or she shouts so loudly she wakes DD2. She's then been awake once/twice a night the last week or so, often quite randomly. Last night she wanted to speak to Granny. At 4 am... This morning she was going on about dancing robots?!

DD2? Well some nights she manages a couple of hours at a stretch... Think she is poorly though, I've noticed smelly nappies and discharge yesterday and today so we're off to the docs tomorrow. Poor madam, she's had a right run of it the last two months.

No temp though so hopefully nothing serious.

Hope everyone gets a decent night....

Sorry to hear you are both having a rubbish time of it dreaming and elph. Hope they get sleepier soon. It is horrid when you can't leave and get a break dreaming. Maybe you need to build it up with people they know well...

Thanks for asking elph. My mum is a bit rubbish at the moment. They were hoping to go on a bit of a bucket list trip away but the consultant said it was too risky so they have cancelled, which is a real shame. Dad says she is being sick a lot now and he is having problems moving her (she isn't really mobile any more). I've told him he needs to contact her palliative care team before he does himself an injury and get more support, but I worry he won't want to be a bother. It's hard enough getting them to tell me what's going on! Sorry, I am venting a bit and it's really not anything to do with this thread

Anyway, back to sleeping. DD isn't being too terrible but we have failed miserably at any sort of gradual retreat. I think we are back to riding the mo fo out. She is just having none of it at the moment.

No problems venting here, Hear.

You're spot in about contacting the palliative care team. The line I've always used with my reluctant family members was, 'You can have our help or we'll sort you out twin beds in the hospital, because you'll be laid up as well with a knackered back and be no use to anyone.'

Better yet, get carers to do the caring, if they'll accept them, so your dad can be a DH in the time they have left. That's a shame about the bucket list holiday

(((((Very un-Mumsnetty hugs for you))))) You keep cuddling your little girl. Sleep can wait.

Where is everyone?! I'm TIRED dammit!

Sorry elph I think I killed the thread

I'm here, and maltesers would be awesome. Dd is actually doing OK on the sleep front, thank heavens!

DS1's sleep is shit - twice a night wake-ups, plus or minus an hour of me sitting outside his door until the Gro-bastard changes. Will only accept my presence - hits the roof and escalates if it's DH. Also refusing to let DH do bedtime. Closest we can get is DH reading with DS1 sitting on my lap.

DS2's is shitter - hourly wakings, although he cut that down to a few 45 minute stretches the other night and naps going slightly to fuck as he is the magical four months.

There may be one or two positive points, but no chance am I mentioning them here or they will be gone, never to return.

That's rubbish elph, particularly when ds1 was doing so well. I have to say it is the regressions that I find so disheartening. Just when you start to think you have it sorted!

He is currently asleep in bed next to me Absolutely, totally refused his room tonight - even said he didn't like his room. He has the most terrible separation anxiety at the moment. In principle, I don't really mind him co-sleeping too much now he's got over the hair-pulling, but I'd infinitely prefer he slept in his own bed. Through the night. Like he was for months. I could book a sleep chat with Ann, but I'm pretty sure I know what she'd tell me to do (and it doesn't involve bringing him into bed with me ) DH is just working away so often ATM as well that we just can't get anything consistent going involving him which is what's needed.

So we've now finished our sessions with Ann. She was lovely, and we made quite a bit of progress. I don't feel that we've entirely cracked it yet though, although we have had DS' first ever proper sleep-through since we finished. Biggest problem is that, although we've now night weaned him, he still has bugger all idea how to get himself back to sleep without the boob, so he now stays awake in the middle of the night for 1.5-2 hours every night, with me lying on the floor shushing fruitlessly. It is killing me! Anyone got any ideas?

If it's anything like the rest of us, Puss, just stick with what you're doing. I think most of us saw ongoing improvements for several weeks once we'd finished Ann's programme. Dreaming and I didn't get consistent sleep-throughs, for example, until quite sometime later.

Hello everyone - I'm too tired and fed up to write anything proper but just want some company as DP is away and DD2 is doing me in .