Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Is there a solution to our sleep problem nightmare? If NO, I can accept that but if YES PLEASE share.

80 replies

Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:26

  • Baby is nearly 15 months old
- Still breastfed - Still in our room - Sibling is 8 years older and noisy so not a realistic solution to share a room - Baby wakes up every 2 or 3 hours atm - last night bed at 7, woke at 10 - took until 01:30 before she went back to sleep - Can't attempt any sort of sleep training which involves leaving her to cry (even if we are in the room with her) as have neighbour who shouts through walls.

Anything we can do? Drugs (seriously)? Just feel we cannot go on like this.

Anyone? Thanks

OP posts:
ks · 14/08/2006 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

elliott · 14/08/2006 10:31

Does the neighbour ever go on holiday? If so, try sleep training then?
Can you borrow someone else's house when they are on holiday and sleep train there? Do you have helpful grandparents who might swap houses for a week?
Sorry may not be practical but those are the ideas that come to mind.

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:32

ks - trying to sell house (at least hope is on eth horizon) so need to keep it "dressed" and all that nonsense. Presume you meant us swapping rooms with my eldest?

OP posts:
ks · 14/08/2006 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:35

neighbour has been on holiday so missed that window - their next holiday is same week as us!

She did sleep through ONE night a few weeks ago at my mum's when had own room (am sure this is key)but when get back here the problem of room sharing returns.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:36

No ks, you never piss me off

OP posts:
welshmum · 14/08/2006 10:38

Tinker, so understand that you need to take some action as you'll go batty soon.
Can you afford to get some professional help?
Sleep lady we used was 100 quid for a consultation at our house and then 3 months support on the phone. (The support was really great as it kept me going when it was difficult)
If you can't I think some Sure Starts have sleep consultants you can use and that'll be cheaper or free.
Other than that my second thought was could you move your older one in with you while you sleep train the baby in their room? Or do you still run in to the same problem with the neighbour?
Is the neighbour due to go on holiday at all? Could you find out when and do it then - it shouldn't take long to sort out.

batters · 14/08/2006 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batters · 14/08/2006 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:49

Thanks agian. Yes, last night was saying I'd pay £1000s to sort this out. She was singing "Happy Birthday" in our bed. That's teh easy bit. It's teh constant rooting for me and lifting my top to feed which I'm starting to find really pees me off now - am so uncomfortable in bed, have to lie in one postion all night or she gets cross.

Yes, if house wasn't up for sale would swap with eldest for a while to tackle it but think would look odd now when selling.

Will ring my HV this week.

OP posts:
EvesMama · 14/08/2006 10:49

i have two very good and 'light reading' books here for major sleep probs if youd like them??

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:51

Evesmama - if I could borrow them that would be great, thanks

email me at tinkerblush at aol dot com.

OP posts:
welshmum · 14/08/2006 10:52

Are you in the South East Tinker?
If so it might just be worth ringing the sleep lady and asking her what she thinks about the timings/situation you're in at the moment and how much she could help you.
This is what we did initially with her and she was very fair about how much could be achieved and what was too much to hope for.
Sorry didn't remember details of your house situation - and doubly sorry for your crap neighbour

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:54

In NW welshmum. 2 bed terrace atm. Have booked a 3 bed lodge in Scotland for hols - who knows, might crack it then

OP posts:
FloatingOnTheMed · 14/08/2006 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jimjams2 · 14/08/2006 10:59

ds2 was like this. I sorted it out by refusing breast first of all (led to a bit of screaming though so your neighbour may have ot bang) but was sorted very quickly (2 nights?) I may have offered water instead- can't remember. once the rooting/snacking all night was stopped, the sleep followed....

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 11:00

I'm beginning to think partner should take her to his mum's for a few nights for sleep...

OP posts:
UrsulatheSeawitch · 14/08/2006 11:05

We used to put DD2 in the travel cot in the living room when she had wakeful nights (she used to go through a stage of them every few months between c 1 and 2, nothing to do with breastfeeding mind you) - is that a possibility for you? Would horrible neighbour still hear her?

EvesMama · 14/08/2006 11:08

ive just emailed you tinker

welshmum · 14/08/2006 11:39

Tinker, I really think you should take some action. Either on holiday or by sending your partner off to sort it out.
Do you have a plan for exactly how you want to do it?
I found a plan helped - and somewhere to get support as I said.
Am happy to do it on MN if you ever want to do it that way

Original poster
Tinker · 14/08/2006 11:41

Thanks Em - have replied.

WM - I agree. Have got into very bad habit of feeding her to sleep since = only thing that works. We did pick a 3 bed place deliberately to try and do it but not sure what - putting her to bed without feeding would be a start.

Am attracted to idea of partner taking her away though

OP posts:
welshmum · 14/08/2006 11:57

Can he take her away for a couple of days before you go on holiday. Then you'd have a bit of time to reinforce it - and you'd get a much better break.
Go on, do it.....

jabberwocky · 14/08/2006 12:03

I totally agree with welshmum and the others. I have a good friend who is still co-sleeping - although not really sleeping IYKWIM - with her 2 year old. She finally got him off the breast, which was off and on (mostly on) all night. But, now he won't go to sleep without a pacifier and at least 10 minutes of tweaking her nipple! He is also about to undergo quite a bit of dental work because of feeding so much at night.

FrannyandZooey · 14/08/2006 12:06

Tinker, I lived through this so can really understand how you are feeling. In the end I just gritted my teeth and rode it out - things improved, got worse, improved, got worse etc until he was 3 and he now sleeps virtually all night every night in his own bed. It just happened gradually, really. Sometimes I thought I would go ruddy mental but we got through it in the end.

However if you are committed to making a change I would do the No Cry Sleep Solution - there is one specially for toddlers. I did read it at one point and decided I was not organised enough to do all the things she said, but if you are focused and can be consistent I think it would work, without any periods of being left to cry.

The other thing that helped me was to read books like Dr Sears, Three in a Bed, and Our Babies Ourselves which all reassured me that it is normal for children to be like this, that it is good to meet their needs by attending to them in the night, and that it would pass - eventually. Don't forget to go to bed as early as you can yourself and nap in the day when she naps. Oh, and moan a lot to your dp and make him do all the jobs round the house "because I am too exhausted from looking after your precious child all night"

I hope any of these ideas help and that you can get some rest soon.

jabberwocky · 14/08/2006 12:21

Only read books like Dr. Sears if you are ready to completely sacrifice yourself and your sleep for as long as it takes. Otherwise, you will just feel guilty. At least, that was my experience.