Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Is there a solution to our sleep problem nightmare? If NO, I can accept that but if YES PLEASE share.

80 replies

Tinker · 14/08/2006 10:26

  • Baby is nearly 15 months old
- Still breastfed - Still in our room - Sibling is 8 years older and noisy so not a realistic solution to share a room - Baby wakes up every 2 or 3 hours atm - last night bed at 7, woke at 10 - took until 01:30 before she went back to sleep - Can't attempt any sort of sleep training which involves leaving her to cry (even if we are in the room with her) as have neighbour who shouts through walls.

Anything we can do? Drugs (seriously)? Just feel we cannot go on like this.

Anyone? Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinker · 15/08/2006 10:51

Bum, just remembered partner is out tonight! Not making excuses honestly

OP posts:
UrsulatheSeawitch · 15/08/2006 11:03

Any chance DD1 would agree to camping on the floor in your room (just at night) for a bit and DD2 having hers, and DP sleeping in there with her so he can be the one to settle her?

(Or, as it's the hols, could she stay with your mum for a few nights?)

Apols if this has already been suggested!

oliveoil · 15/08/2006 11:10

House still on the market but last viewing was promising.

I want a garden and by the time I get one it will be raining, pah.

I think you should stop the b/f, as you seem to want to, and then go with the flow on the sleeping through bit. I don't actually mind dd2 being in bed as I wake up looking at a big fat gorgeous toddler face (beats dh any day of the week, lol). I go up in the evening and sometimes she will whinge for a bit, then go off, but on the times she is sobbing and standing at the bars, well shoot me, I pick her up and comfort her. She is only 2! But I am a huge softie and you may want to be stricter.

Good luck!

xx

welshmum · 15/08/2006 11:14

He might be out other nights in the future too...so you have to have a go at it yourself

morningpaper · 15/08/2006 11:22

Tinker, if she is simply wide awake between 10-1.30, it would suggest that she is perhaps sleeping too much during the day.

Have you tried cutting down/out her daytime nap?

Original poster
Tinker · 15/08/2006 15:49

Thanks again. To be fair, the late night waking for that long the other night was unusual but the frequent waking is the norm. She naps for about 2 hours in teh middle of the day - not sure how much a 14/15 month old should have really.

Don't mind teh bf as long as teh night feeding stops. Wanted to keep going until she at least has her MMR - inspired to book it this morning because of this.

OP posts:
Jimjams2 · 15/08/2006 19:08

ds3 (19 months) has a 2 hour nap so sounds about right.

That's the pattern I got into with ds2 when I stopped the feeding to sleep. Asleep in his own cot then into bed with us about 1am. Then he would root/snack until I decided that had to stop as I was so knackered, and then it went much as Anchovy has described.

I carried on bfeeding him until he was over 2, but was relieved to stop all the night shenanigans.

oliveoil · 16/08/2006 09:19

Guess who was on our sofa all evening causing havoc and generally ruining my newspaper reading???? I swear she comes on MN as whenever I post about her, she plays up.

Back to the drawing board for me.

Tinker - if you stop feeding in the night and only feed in the day, will it not confuse dd? I have no experience of this as I stopped day and night at around 6 months but I just wondered how that would work.

Original poster
Tinker · 16/08/2006 14:42

Thanks oo and jj. Put her to bed awake agin last night - cried for about 15 to 20 minutes (partner went up every 2 to 3 to 5 minutes) She woke at 23.30 - fed to sleep within 5 minutes - awake at 2, then 4, then 6! But I'm out tomorrow night so partner will have to tackle anything then.

Not sure whether stopping night feeding confuses them [out of my depth and bewildered emoticon]

OP posts:
Jimjams2 · 16/08/2006 20:42

First bit sounds good! Second bit sounds nightmarish for you, Confuse them in what way? Didn't confuse ds2. I actually turned my back on him- I thought he would go ballistic, but he didn't. He did cry, but then went back to sleep. By the second night he didn't cry very long, 3rd not at all. He was still waking in his cot about 1am and coming into us, but if he wasn;t snacking all night it was no problem iyswim. I just left him to find his own way out of our bed and start to stay in bed all night (which he did sometime after 2).

Once I decided to go for it it was much better than I had anticipated.

drosophila · 16/08/2006 20:51

Tinker, did you not feed her then she woke up at 2 4 and 6. If so I think it is for the best. Is she in a cot in your room. We had this and with the night wakings one of us would let her cry for 5 mins and then stoke her head before hopping back into our bed and continue doing this until she gave up. Occassionally we would be soooo tired we would kinda sleep through her crying and it would go on for ages (you know when you just can't move) but as soon as we lay her down and stroked her head she was away.

sis · 16/08/2006 20:52

Tinker sorry to learn that your daughter is not sleeping well and that your neighbour is still being a total pain. I don't have any words of avice but wanted to send sympathy! I hope the new regime works out and soon!

CorrieDale · 16/08/2006 21:08

Tinker, I don't think night-weaning does confuse them. Or at least, it didn't confuse DS. If anything, he fed much better during the day once he'd stopped feeding at night. Having your partner do the night-shift is, I think, absolutely essential for the first few nights. I now go in if DS cries, but I don't feed him and he doesn't demand a feed either. I don't think that would have been the case for the first few nights. And it gives a supportive partner something to really congratulate himself for; I know that DH feels pretty proud of himself for having made such a huge contribution to DS's current sleeping through.

Original poster
Tinker · 17/08/2006 10:05

Thanks all again. Not so good night. Woke for a few hours again at 11 ish. Only thing that shushes her is feeding! Her screams if she doesn't get that are pretty ear-bleedingly inducing. So, no progress really. Think we'll try and have proper go at it on holiday (this Saturday). If no joy, will leave it until in her own room and then we have some consistency.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 17/08/2006 10:37

Hi tinker, I think there is a difference between needing a cue to get back to sleep (ie feeding) and being wide awake for hours in the night. I would try and cut back her day-time nap to one hour and see if that helps.

Original poster
Tinker · 17/08/2006 14:55

Um, she's just slept for about 3.5 hours. Oh dear. Am out tonight

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinker · 18/08/2006 08:06

Update. Last night, fed her to sleep (bad), she woke up so I picked her up, kissed her said "Goodnight" etc and walked out of the room. She started to cry but...had stopped before I was even halfway down the stairs . We stood hovering waiting for the cranking up to 5th gear but, nothing. Not a peep until 1 or 2. So, soooome progress

OP posts:
purplepumpkin · 18/08/2006 08:40

I'm confused as to what it is you want, Tinker (and bear with me because I'm not familiar with the No Cry Sleep Solution). Do you want her to stop waking up in the night? Do you want to stop feeding her to sleep? To stop feeding her in the night? I'm struggling to see how she's going to stop doing any of the above unless you stop doing them IYKWIM unless you go with F&Z's gradual "she'll grow out of it eventually" route, which sounds like it would be your ideal but is incompatible with your life, hence posting your thread...

Could you maybe post your ideal night as an example?

Original poster
Tinker · 18/08/2006 08:55

pp - yes, want all of those things. Agree, need to just do it to stop = ie nightfeeding but, and it's a big but for me, we have a neighbour who has shouted "shut that baby up" and thumped the walls on the occasions that we have tried to not feed her. This problem causes huge anxiety - the thought of it more than the reality because we now never let it get that far (the screaming at night) So, yes, it is confusing. I know what I want - sleep, but don't know how to achieve whilst in this house. Hence first post really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinker · 18/08/2006 08:58

Ideal night would be feed baby, put her to sleep awake. gurgling happily. Sleeps without waking until 7, wakes up gurgling.

OP posts:
purplepumpkin · 18/08/2006 09:00

Aah, OK, I think I remember your thread now . How far are you away from moving? Is it worth gritting your teeth for that little bit longer? Otherwise, I would send DP round with a bottle of wine to explain that you are doing sleep training for the next few nights and could he please bear with you (you never know, he might be taking a holiday in the next couple of weeks anyway). He might react better if he knew what was coming.

Why have you discounted putting her in with your son?

Original poster
Tinker · 18/08/2006 09:07

Well, house sale may be quite imminent (maybe!) so I do think best to wait until then. But useful to think through what I want on here. Plus, house sale may fall through and I'm here for years

8 year gap between 2 girls - eldest one is noisy, goes to bed later, reads in bed, want her mates up there at bed times etc - just doesn't seem workable for them to share.

OP posts:
purplepumpkin · 18/08/2006 09:15

Sorry about describing your dd as a ds

Well, I think your older dd may have to change her routine a little - there's nothing in there that would prevent them sharing apart from having friends up there at bedtime. She can still go to bed later and read in bed quite happily with a sleeping baby in the room.

This is possible, you know it it....

purplepumpkin · 18/08/2006 09:15

it is (grr)

Original poster
Tinker · 18/08/2006 12:33

Believe me, she is noisy!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread