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SLEEP REGRESSION part 2...Roll up, roll up folks! Swap tales of woe, ideas, enjoy solidarity and get support here

999 replies

cakebaby · 27/02/2014 20:05

Thought I'd start a new thread as I couldn't see another one yet (will get HQ to delete if already up and running).

Tis good to talk.....

OP posts:
Mirrhi · 01/06/2014 21:25

Gah! Bloody tablet!! Witb? Kniws? Uo? Eithef? Felk? Strsiht?? Sleepm???

CuteLittleToes · 02/06/2014 01:32

I just don't know how to keep positive anymore. Every evening I put DS to bed hoping tonight will be the night, tonight he'll surprise me and do a longer stretch. And every evening he then wakes up 10/15/30/40 mins later and I realise that actually tonight will be another shit night. Even when he carries on sleeping, I hope ohh maybe he'll do 4/5 hours or maybe l

CuteLittleToes · 02/06/2014 01:36

...longer, but then he barely makes it to 3 hours even... It's just such a crap feeling when I sit downstairs all relaxed and hear him wake up and cry... Just feeling so down, he's awake for the 5th time this night, and that's from being put to bed at 9...

SadSadSad

missmargot · 02/06/2014 06:49

cute I'm sorry you've had another bad night. The feeling of disappointment when you realise tonight isn't going to be the night they miraculously sleep is soul destroying.

keepitgoing · 02/06/2014 08:51

cute how do you settle him? for me picking up and putting down enrages and putting down asleep encourages wake ups. it's still early days but shhhing her in the cot has got her for 2 hourly wake ups to 5-7 hours at the start of the night within a few days. it's super tough. I never relax in the evenings waiting for the wake ups and stressing about having to get to bed.

Cakeismymaster · 02/06/2014 11:50

keep and anyone else doing ssshh'ing in the cot - do you lean over to them? Or just look through the bars so to speak? Reason I ask is I have been trying the ssshh, stroke back etc in cot but it is ruining my back! The cot is on the lowest level so I really have to lean right over to her, it's a killer

keepitgoing · 02/06/2014 12:08

cake not really as it seemed to annoy her. I put my hand on her tummy. but cot is on the highest setting. could you fit your arm through the bars?

CuteLittleToes · 02/06/2014 12:27

I've tried pupd when he was tiny after reading BW which says nothing about what age it is appropriate from. It didn't work of course. And I'm not trying it ever again as I just know it won't work.

I sometimes feed him to sleep and put him down. Sometimes he wakes up sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes I put him down wide awake and shh/pat to sleep. He normally would have a dummy then.

I have gone through a phase of religiously putting him down awake or at least sleepy and he would then fall asleep on his own with me just sitting beside him. No difference whatsoever.

I think how they fall asleep is really irrelevant. They either sleep or they don't. End of.

I'm just feeling so deflated by the lack of any progress. The only progress he made since he was a newborn is that he can actually sleep not on me. That's it. But back then at least naps were better... even if only in my arms.

On average he wakes up 6 times a night. A good night is 4 wake ups. 8 on a bad night, which by far is not the limit. Half of those wake ups seem to be just because. Which none of the books, sleep websites etc. address. They just assume you feed to sleep every time, so once you stop, they should stop waking up. Well, I don't feed him every time. He still wakes up.

CuteLittleToes · 02/06/2014 12:29

Cakeis I sometimes do lean over, but when he cries his eyes are mostly shut so not sure it makes any difference. Could you put a chair beside the cot and lean on the cot sitting down?

BB01 · 02/06/2014 13:52

I really empathise about dreading the monitor coming on. I just can't relax in the evening as more often than not I'm on borrowed time till she wakes. We keep coming down in the morning going 'ah yes, remember we were just about to have a cuppa /glass of wine /put that film on before she woke for the rest of the evening.' I feel that I'm drifting apart from my baby friends one by one as their babies start sleeping better. It shouldn't matter but it is just such a big part of my life at the mo and compared to them I have v little to talk about. No hobbies, no day trips with other halves, no evenings out with friends, no big adventures with baby all cos we're all too knackered and it's too stressful doing anything while she's like this. Both DH and I really wanted to have two kids and ideally close together but we're both so fed up with the sleep thing that in the past few days we've both said we feel at the mo we are not sure we could do this again.

MissMargot, my daydream starts with beauty treatment and spa, then swim, room service and film then bed. Big cooked brekkie in peace the next morning.

keepitgoing · 02/06/2014 18:41

cute I've been told consistency is the key so perhaps sometimes feeding sometimes shhhing isn't stopping him waking. you could try to stop feeding and then gradual withdrawal, that is what we are doing.

I'm sorry you're so down. I feel jealous of those with newborns sometimes... I never thought we'd have such issues at 7m, naively I thought things get easier...

CuteLittleToes · 02/06/2014 20:47

Thanks keep, I guess you are right. However, I'm not ready to night wean yet. He's a small 2nd centile baby, and I think he still needs that night milk. Maybe in a couple months once I'm certain his weight gain is fine...

Have you stopped feeding in the night then, keep? Did you have to involve OH?

K1spoony · 02/06/2014 23:15

cutelittletoes you mentioned your baby goes to bed at 9, I was reading "the no cry sleep solution" that suggests babies actually sleep better if they go to bed early, around 7pm. Somehow they actually sleep longer going to bed early. It suggests bringing bedtime 15 minutes earlier each day till you get the optimum sleep time. Sorry if you've already tried this, again, it's just the try everything approach.

K1spoony · 02/06/2014 23:24

Also, as for night weaning, my girl was sleeping soundly through the night from about 10-18 weeks with no night feeds (7/8pm- 6/7am) then she started waking loads, like you cute sometimes feeding sometimes not, now she wakes at 11 and then 2/3 and both times she is wide and wants a feed, she is 20 weeks and I really am wondering whether weaning would help, but there are so many mixed opinions. I really wanted to wait till 6 months and do baby led weaning and I don't want to introduce food if it makes no difference to sleep as she doesn't really watch me eat or anything yet, so I don't know if she's interested :-/

keepitgoing · 03/06/2014 00:54

that's understandable cute. we are on the second night of no feeds, having cut it down to 3 mins. before that I was feeding at the first wake after 1am. one feed only. rest of the time doing gradual withdrawal though I haven't started withdrawing yet (but v consistent on comforting in cot etc)... I think that could work for you and let you keep feeding.

keepitgoing · 03/06/2014 00:59

oh, and dh hasn't helped the last few nights as been working... wish me luck for tonight! she has just self settled at first wake up but expect the next will be tough again.

keepitgoing · 03/06/2014 06:28

OK so in the end slept 0645-1245, woke 1245-0115 and 0300-0400. woke at 6. not much crying at all tonight, just lots of trying to get herself back to sleep, then waking up etc.

missmargot · 03/06/2014 07:06

K1 my DS is 20 weeks too and I've wondered the same about weaning. I also want to wait until six months and go down the baby led route so I'm trying to hold off.

Recently DS has been genuinely waking up hungry as he's been ill and not feeding well during the day. However during the months or so that he slept through before the dreaded regression began I did night wean. Every time he woke I shushed and patted or ignored, depending on how awake he seemed, and told myself I would feed him if he was awake for 15 minutes or really crying. It worked and I realised that possibly I'd been feeding him when he didn't actually need it as I was so intent on not letting him get himself too worked up.

My plan, once he's fully recovered and feeding properly during the day, is to try that again.

K1spoony · 03/06/2014 08:38

missmargot likewise, when my dd was sleeping through she would wake a little and I would leave her and she would more often than not go back to sleep, but she never really woke wide awake. Now she is wide awake, squealing and kicking in her cot. By that stage she is so awake that she won't settle herself, but I don't know whether I should just leave her to play in her cot and eventually she will be tired enough to sleep. At the moment I have been lifting her and trying to rock her to sleep, but she tries to latch on my arm! So I figure she's hungry. Argh, it's so hard to know what's right. Oh, and saying your ds isn't well - that's when dads sleep regression started, I don't know if it was coincidence, but it was when she had a cough and I thought she was thirsty!!

CuteLittleToes · 03/06/2014 12:32

Thanks K1, but we used to do earlier bedtime and he wasn't sleeping better. Furthermore, I really doubt that babies can tell the time, so 7-7 or 9-9 really doesn't make any difference. I have actually never heard of 7pm bedtime until I came to the UK. There are other reasons why I want to keep it 9-9 too. I might move it 8-8 once he sleeps a bit better.

By the way, there are three main signs that your baby is ready for solids: being able to sit upright, hand-mouth coordination (being able to see an object, pick it up, and put in the mouth) and disappearance of tongue thrust reflex (ability to swallow food instead of pushing it out). Waking up in the night is neither a sign your baby needs solids, nor solids will help them sleep better (sorry). Watching you eat is not a sign either - your baby will watch you whatever you do.

CuteLittleToes · 03/06/2014 16:06

DS had 1.5h nap today...

The only connection between this nap and the one a week ago is that he had very short (less than 30 mins) nap before that.

Hmm, I might do an experiment tomorrow Grin

Cakeismymaster · 03/06/2014 19:20

For all those thinking of weaning, especially baby led weaning, I can confirm that it made no difference to sleep here. My dd eats well and I know she is taking food in as she has mashed food from a spoon (the horror!) but it hasn't made a difference. I would expect BLW would make zero difference as they don't actually eat anything, it's just all over the floor!

Cakeismymaster · 03/06/2014 19:21

The dog however, is getting fat Smile

cakebaby · 03/06/2014 20:13

^^ what cake said. Ds eats plenty, still doesn't sleep. Spoon fed here too pointless baby led blah blah

OP posts:
Mirrhi · 03/06/2014 20:34

Poo count down to 3 in 24 hours, with none overnight last night. Woohoo!!!

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