SLEEP REGRESSION part 2...Roll up, roll up folks! Swap tales of woe, ideas, enjoy solidarity and get support here

[cakebaby]

Thought I'd start a new thread as I couldn't see another one yet (will get HQ to delete if already up and running).

Tis good to talk.....

He eventually went down again at 2.30am, after feeding to sleep. He then woke again at 4 then 5.30 and 6.30, and each time took some encouragement to go back in his basket. I've thought that I probably shouldn't look at the clock but I just can't seem not to!
I'm not sure if it's just coincidence but he's been much worse at going back in his basket since we went away over the weekend and he spent a lot of time being carried and sleeping in people's arms.
The HV is coming tomorrow to see how we're getting on with her suggestions from a couple of weeks ago, and see if we can come up with any more ideas
It's nice to hear someone seeing some improvement cake it gives me some hope! Artemis, keep, cute, missmargot, avacado, scarlet I'm sending you all to help get you all through. Fingers crossed for a better night for us all tonight!

DS is now sleeping in a crib which rocks which is great as I can often settle him without picking up. However, he'll be going into a cot soon, so not sure how he'll settle in there as obviously I can't rock it... He doesn't respond well to shh pat or similar... Any experiences?

cute dd does her 'long' stretch 7-10/11 or sometimes 12. I go to bed at 9, draw the line at 7!! can't keep her up any later as she's so knackered...

we used to have a crib but tbh rocking never settled her. I think stopping swaddling didn't help sleep but she now sleeps arms out in her cot. v cute.

I'm going to put my neck on the line & say I actually feel sorry for my DP at present, he will try to settle ds but it's still almost impossible without a quick bit of boob or bottle as I'm trying to reduce this neither of us can settle him to be fair so DP's solution is to just take him downstairs & watch tv with him but then this makes me mad as we can't replace boon/ bottle with watching tv at frequent intervals through the night so neither of us have any answers here just end up squabbling (fighting!!)

Boo we were exactly the same... DP couldn't cope with the baby crying upstairs so would take her down and sit watching a film at whatever time of the morning until she dropped off again. Drove me nuts as I felt it was just reinforcing night wakes and confusing her about night and day. Now he is the same as cakebaby's OH. If she's crying hard he packs in trying to settle her and because he knows I won't leave her on her own to cry he gets away with it. He does genuinely get very stressed but he's not the only one!

We have a new plan now, abandoned the night settling without pick ups as neither of us could cope with the crying. I'm now back to feeding for night wakes but always putting back into the cot awake and over time we'll reduce the length of night feeds and see what she does. Some babies drop them on their own . She is getting good at settling to sleep without a fuss in the evenings now, surely that means she should be able to learn to do the same at night too?!

Hot laced with brandy all round and hope everyone has a good night.

Yes fingers crossed for everyone! I still go to bed every night thinking tonight could be the night! I am religiously putting ds back in his cot after feeds/ re-settles!! Wakes on average every 90mins- 2 hours - god when will it end, told my dear mother today I would be thrilled if he managed 4 hour stretches to which she merrily told me my 6week old niece regularly manages 6/7 hour stretches - yes, thanks mother!!!

Anyway we've all been told stories of other peoples wonderful, self-settling babies!!

Ds already woken once tonight as DP is at work I've been up & cuddled him/ rocked him back to sleep actually can not believe he has gone back to sleep without being fed, I'm completely making it up as I go along but I may just start setting little goals like refusing to feed him unless it's been 4 hours from previous feed!! Out of interest anyone recommend any good/ easy to learn/ use feeding cups? My ds appears to be slow on the up take & I'm wondering if frequent wakings are now thirst related?? (I know what you're all thinking - clutching at straws!!)!!

boo after much trial and error and spending a small fortune on useless expensive cups ds has decided he likes a tomee tipee cheapo one from wilko for about £1.50. It's blue plastic, straight sided, has 2 handles and a fold up/down spout with 2 holes in it. He can suck from it just fine (ebf) and if he chucks it about only a little water comes out, rather than some valved ones that leak like a fire hose if you take the valve out.

Oh boo that's all you need, tales of someone else's amazing sleeping child! I could have punched a friend recently who moaned that her DD was no longer sleeping 7 - 7 but had started waking at 6 instead and it was "killing her". It did cross my mind to swap babies and hope she wouldn't notice

Cheapo sippy cup here too, ours is from Boots I think. DD prefers it to the expensive Avent one.

Our night is currently vying for the title 'worst yet'. DD has been screaming hysterically for over an hour. She woke at 10, I fed her and put her back in the cot sleepy but awake as normal. Generally she will whinge for 10 minutes then drop off but not tonight. If I pick her up she stops, put her down she starts screaming again irrespective of whether it's in the cot or next to me. There's nothing obviously wrong. I tried to calm her in the cot but I'm beginning to think DP is right and I might as well not be there. I'm now feeding again 90 minutes after the last feed after she dropped off for 5 minutes then woke up and started screaming again. I just can't deal with it, I actually feel sick.

Any ideas? I don't understand how she can go to sleep on her own at 7pm with no crying and no intervention then turn into a screaming banshee 3 hours later in the same situation.

Artemis no ideas as similar here. I van only think it's because they are more tired at bedtime... I have to say I have tried not feeding but the wake ups continued after 2 weeks so I'm feeding again as it's quicker. I think it was because the message is unclear - I'll feed you sometimes not others. I have also done some reduction of feeds, just by taking her off when she's still sucking. but sometimes she literally only does a few ducks before she's asleep again
my gut feeling is waiting a month ish. if no improvement try what you've been doing art. spoke to someone it worked for yesterday but she was very clear consistency and resolve are key! did your sc say doing one night feed is OK? a dream feed or just one time when she wakes?

We tried just a dream feed at the first major wake up, usually 10, then DP settling her for the rest of the night. The SC said that 10ish is the first big sleep cycle wake so some babies can handle a feed then and nothing for the rest of the night, but for others it's better not to feed at all during the night. She also emphasised calmness and consistency. As you say it can cause confusion if they get fed at some times not others so we agreed to drop the DF if that seemed to be happening. TBH it doesn't seem to make a difference either way. She wakes if I feed her or if I don't, and she cries when I resettle her whether she has been fed or not but that first 10pm wake always seems to be the worst.

She woke again for a feed around 2.30 but with less drama that time. Then again at 5.45, ordinarily I would have tried to resettle her but I'm working today and had to be up at 6 anyway. We've been advised to avoid failed settles, so if we embark on something we need to persist. That means no feeding to calm her if she's crying and no re-feeding if she doesn't settle after the first feed. Two major weapons in my armoury gone!

How did everyone else fare last night? I'm glad I'm working today even though I feel rubbish, it's easier than coping with a grumpy overtired baby!

Oh Artemis i feel for you as I know you've been on this thread a similar length of time as me & it really is draining now isn't it!!

Better night here actually had that wake at 9.30 where I cuddled & rocked him back to sleep (no feed was a major thing!) after that ds didn't actually wake until 2.30 so actually no feed between 7.30 & 2.30 is a very very long time for my ds, I've said this a million times fingers crossed this is a new thing but I doubt it very much, also post 2.30 he was unsettled for the rest of the night really so on the whole not sure if it was a good night or a bad night - a night of two halves I guess!!!

As predicted DS didn't of his 3h stretch last night just because I went to bed earlier. He went down at 9.15 and woke up at 10. Then midnight. That was his longest stretch. After that up every hour. I don't know how much longer I can be going like this...

Boo I would give a limb for 5h stretch!

Boo by the way I go to bed with the hope of tonight is the night every time too! Especially after the lady few "better" nights I keep thinking maybe tonight he'll manage 4or even 5 hours... Except it never happens

Haha last, not lady!

5hours boo!! that's great going!

cute I think we had two hrs max as well plus 2 nappy changes due to dodgy tummy which woke her up lots. argh.

I keep feeling a bit dizzy from lack of sleep. this is hellish. people whose babies sleep are having such a different experience. I want to enjoy her

Hi, sorry, first time in here, wasn't sure if I was in the right place or not as we are not so much suffering from regression as DD has just never slept, well, there was the spell of 10 nights where I actually got to feel human and practically skipped with glee but as soon as it came it was gone.

Anyway, reading your comments above keepitgoing "people whose babies sleep are having such a different experience. I want to enjoy her " actually brought a lump to my throat - obviously lack of sleep is not helping, naturally... this is exactly how I feel.

DD is 20 months, we are exhausted. I am so tired of being tired. She is amazing and bright and funny and just wonderful in every way but I sometimes feel so rubbish for being so grumpy and tired. I look at other parents I know and wonder if they are just better at coping with it or if our child is just really bad in the sleep stakes, everyone would have you believe different things.

DD will go to sleep at 6.30 generally without too much problem, sleeps fine until 10.30pm and then is up every 3 hours or so before getting up at 5 for the day. We have tried everything in the book at this stage, later bedtime, earlier bedtime, moving naps all over the place. On a positive note, she is fairly easy to settle once she wakes, we seem to have got past the waking and screaming for hours bit for the most part, so I am grateful for that, but the broken sleep is relentless, I don't know when I last slept for more than 4 consecutive hours, we are exhausted, we haven't slept in almost 2 years, I just want to cry... sorry, feeling particularly pathetic today no one seems to understand and if one more person asks me "why isn't she sleeping through yet?" I will not be responsible for my actions

oh gosh mumaa... how do you settle her? can dp do it? do you take it in turns? either one night on/off or one wake up each which would give you a six hour block? does she sleep in the day?

you are of course welcome here though we ate hopeless and clueless?

ha, well I am also hopeless and clueless so should fit in well

to be fair it doesn't take a lot to settle her these days, so that is an improvement on how things have been in the past, must keep reminding myself of this. Really its just going in and letting her know your there, give her a wee pat, sometimes a little cuddle. She is now talking/shouting in her sleep so sometimes you go through and she's actually sleeping, but making a huge racket. DP is really good, and gets up too but once she cries, I'm awake, even if I don't physically go through I am awake... though there has been the odd occasion when I've actually thought, its a miracle! she slept through and then he is like "er, no, you slept through, that is all"

she has a nap in the day, can be 40 mins or on a rare occasion 2 hours. one of those when you have nothing on, so she can sleep as long as she likes she will do 40 mins and when you have a million things to do/places to be she is going for the big snooze.

She's always been a poor sleeper, until she was 12 months old she would not nap for longer than 30 mins at a time, used to stare at all these other mums enjoying a nice lunch while their baby slept. it has gotten better over time... I would actually take her being awake all day if she would sleep between 10pm and 6am

we have tried to leave her to self settle in the night, but what starts out as a wee whine then turns into full scale screaming and unable to settle for an hour so hence why me and DH are on high alert and pretty much leap from our beds when we hear her in the night, the quicker you get to her the easier she is to settle... just really struggling now, you would think we would be used to it.

thanks for reading, nice to speak to people who understand, I have tried to speak to other mums but they don't "get it" DD is also pretty tired in the mornings so I know she isn't really ready for the day but can't solve it... thank you just for understanding, sometimes I feel I am losing my mind!!

I know what you mean about high alert, even when dh is on duty I listen out. have you tried earplugs? could you stay one night a week elsewhere just to give you a real break? if I wasn't bf I would go to a cheap hotel on my own and sleep 12 hours......

afraid I have no idea about what you might do to reduce wakings so just thinking about how to manage the tiredness. it sounds like you have made good progress though so she will probably get there eventually...

ooh earplugs!! now, that could be an idea! I haven't tried them but may be worth a whirl...

She definitely has made progress, it is 100% better than it was... we started of with 16 weeks of colic and I thought when that was over all would be well, but no... I think you are right, that she will get there in time, well, I hope...

strangely, we were talking this morning about going away to a hotel to just sleep and get my mum to come and do a sleepover, she has done this once before when we were away at a wedding. but to save money I may just suggest a house swap so we can just go to mum's and actually sleep.

Keep I am starting to feel dizzy too... I am afraid I'll just faint one day whilst holding DS and will hurt him... I think my body is trying to compensate for lack of energy by craving fats and sugar all the time!

Mumaa gosh 20 months... That must be so hard... Have you looked at the thread "What worked for us" here in Sleep section? It's about gradual retreat method that many people had success with. It looks like the older the baby the easier it is to do it. I would do it with my DS but he's too young for this. I'd say it's worth a look.

cutelittletoes hey, yes I have seen that thanks.

It is not the worst case in the world, in that we can put her to bed, and she gets herself off to sleep, the problem we have is she frequently wakes during the night so we have constant broken sleep and then getting up for the day around 5am. Its not too bad in that we can settle her pretty quickly, really just letting her know you are there will do the trick, or a little cuddle. We start to feel like jack in the boxes, jumping out of bed to go to her (as the quicker we get to her the easier she is to settle, basically we are getting to her before she fully wakes herself up). Literally I think we had a spell of 10 nights when she actually went to bed and slept through until the morning, other than that she wakes during the night, every night. Last night was 12, 3, 3.30 and then up for the day at 5. It is lots better than it has been in that it doesn't take long to settle her but the broken sleep is starting to break me quite frankly.

Praise caffeine!!

Well, here's a shock. DH attempting bedtime for 1st time. Good

...bah.... good on him! Can't see success on the horizon but who knows!

Finally found you all! Dropped off my threads for some reason.
So bet you all thought I had found the holy grail!
No.
Saying a big hello to artemis and cake, yes we have been here since 1924 or something...
Still fluctuating here between every hour to every 3 hours (rare). Slight improvement in that settles quite easily at bedtime but after first wake up usually around 9.30 she absolutely will not go back in the cot and absolutely has to be fed again.
Anyway I've given up tactics or asking myself why, she's just a crappy sleeper and/or doesn't need much sleep. I will review it all at age 1, if I make it that long!