SLEEP REGRESSION part 2...Roll up, roll up folks! Swap tales of woe, ideas, enjoy solidarity and get support here

[cakebaby]

Thought I'd start a new thread as I couldn't see another one yet (will get HQ to delete if already up and running).

Tis good to talk.....

Oh boo

Very much doubt your milk is drying up! I used to feel and look very full until ds was about 5 months or so but now there's not much change regardless of when he fed last. But I still have plenty of milk, even when I think he's finished the lot, there always seems to be more. Clever things, boobies!

We have cot trauma here too. Ds starting to crawl but keeps face planting and whacking himself on the bars. Bumpers not recommended, airwrap doesn't help. Now what?!

A helmet?

Sorry, I'm up feeding do had to amuse myself somehow...

So, not do...

Some sort of padded balaclava should do it

boo that sounds horrid. what sort of training were you doing? we are now down to mostly hourly wake ups now, I thought 90 mins were bad... I'm sure your milk isn't drying up! my boobs don't feel big any more even if I've not fed for 8 hours!

does anyone on this thread ff?

That's useful to know about the milk, thanks. Sometimes I think he has a full feed in 5 mins or so, but there are times during the day when he feeds for a few mins then comes off screaming and I'm sure he's not filled up, just got distressed for some reason. At night, again sometimes I think he can have a full feed, but other times he just has a few sucks then goes back to sleep so I think that's more a comfort thing.
My boobs don't often feel that 'big' or full any more Boo, I'm sure your milk is fine. As long as LO is gaining weight and thriving there's no problem I'd say.

I've read this thread before and felt so sympathetic towards everyone experiencing this. Now I am going through it myself and I want to cry with tiredness.

DS is 14 weeks and has always been a very straightforward baby. He would go down awake, self settle, wake for a feed, go straight back to sleep. At 10 weeks he started sleeping through 7-7 with a 10pm dream feed. Then at 12.5 weeks it all went wrong. To start with I though it was teething as all the symptoms were there, but then the teething symptoms stopped and the sleeping hasn't started again. I have no idea whether this a growth spurt, early four month sleep regression or something else entirely. During the day he is a delight but at night he is like a different baby.

He is definitely hungry at night, which I can cope with, but he is now very unsettled. Saturday night was a new low, he woke every half an hour throughout the night. He isn't crying, but grizzling and fussing and if I don't offer him a dummy, put the dummy back in again endlessly, stroke and shush he will start crying.

Last night was slightly better, he woke at 11pm-midnight, 1:30am-3am and 4:30am-5am but lots of fussing in between times.

I am back at work two days a week and the thought of having to cope tomorrow on so little sleep makes me want to cry.

Evening all can't remember who asked as I'm on my phone but I was doing crying where I put him down awake (isn't a problem at bedtime he goes to sleep by himself at 7ish in his cot no problem - again the books say this is part of the battle) when he cries I've been leaving him for a few minutes (3ish to start with doesn't sound very long but it feels it), going back in trying to offer him reassurance for a min so stroking his face etc going out again & so on! Pick up put down leaves him even more hysterical & ssh pat method worked ish for a week or two only!! Like I say now he has started his head butting thing I have to lift him out as it scares me!

Lost track of how many times he had me up last night he has been asleep since 7.30 so fingers crossed he manages at least another couple of hours, he is honestly worse than when new born & I've no idea what to do with him!!

No way I could manage work at the moment I would be dangerous to practice to best of luck to you!

Welcome missmargot, I hope it's just a growth spurt for you and will soon pass. Very at sleeping through, even if short lived - my DS never done that...

Boo I would suggest if you're not comfortable with crying don't do it... But then maybe I'm not that desperate yet?

So 2 days ago DS managed 3h stretch after going to bed, which hasn't happened for a while... Then yesterday he woke up an hour after going to bed... But! He then slept in 2h chunks till 5:30am, which is an improvement in my books!

Tonight he's done 3h stretch again. I'm feeding now, not expecting much from the rest of the night, but feeling slightly more positive...

Hi all

Popping in to catch up. Some of us should be getting long service awards sometime soon I reckon. Just no sodding carriage clocks, I don't need anything to remind me of the passage of time.

We hit the so called "sleep regression" just before xmas and never recovered. DD is now 8 months and there is supposed to be another regression round about now but we have nowhere to regress from. For the last 4 weeks we've been working with a sleep consultant to try to improve things as we really were at the point of desperation. We've made a lot of changes and broken some habits but tbh I can't report that sleep has really improved. We were reluctant co sleepers, BFing to sleep at bedtime and during numerous night wakings. Now I no longer feed to sleep, only feed once during the night and DD is in her own cot in her own room but is still waking every 90 minutes or more often during the night and the crying has been beyond what I can bear. We chose a consultant who uses gentle methods and priorities emotional wellbeing but even so we have had to let DD cry for long periods to try to teach self settling - always with one of us in the room but I sometimes wonder if it's worse for her if we are there. I no longer believe there is a no cry solution for babies who can't self settle but it's taking us ages because I am a wimp and am constantly doing more than I should to try to calm her when I'm supposed to be letting her find her own way. Unfortunately DD didn't read the email that said babies rarely cry for more than 40 minutes and can easily keep going for an hour or more. She can settle at the start of the night pretty well but when she wakes up all hell breaks loose and things head rapidly downhill.

She seems to have dropped off for the first time since she woke at 11.10pm so I'm going to try to sleep myself and will be back later. Stiff drinks all round, hope everyone is doing OK.

oh wow Artemis that sounds so tough. well done on the progress you've made, though how frustrating it's not helping with sleep. I suspect we are in a similar situation. can self settle at start of the night. can go 8hr without food. can be put back partially awake after feed or jiggling in the night. but. wakes every 90min at least. at the moment I am feeding every time as she has a tummy bug and tbh it gets us back to sleep quicker and settling in other ways wasn't stopping the wake ups.

why do all the books fixate on start of the night. what does your sleep consultant say Artemis re 90min wakes? just persevere?

cute fingers crossed for progress!

gosh Margot. also . at previous sleeping, but at least you know he can do it. if it doesn't sort in a week or so maybe you should go cold turkey on the dummy, if losing it is waking him?

boo thanks for sharing. I too al scared once I get round to sleep training what if it doesn't work?!

sorry for multiple posts...

Hi can I join? DS is in what I think is a 10 month sleep regression and I'm sort of losing it here. Just gone back to work full time with a very jealous and overactive 3 year old already, so DS's new trick of refusing to go back to sleep at 4.45 after having been up 2-3 times for a bf in the night is spectacularly not fun. However, his new new thing is yelling his head off 20 minutes after he goes to sleep of an evening and its actually this that is the biggest problem for me. I can't leave him to cry as it shreds me and upsets 3 year old dd terribly but all attempts to comfort him seem to be entirely missing the point from his perspective. If I go in he cries louder and more frustratedly. I've tried a dummy (though he's never had one before), lights on/off, music/silence, calpol and bonjela on the assumption its teething. I always bf him last thing but make sure he's awake when he goes into his cot so he's not waking up thinking 'wtf?' but nothing seems to be working. Any ideas of what could have brought both of these - the early evening heebie-jeebies and the early morning waking- into our lives at the same time? My only solution to prevent him waking up the whole family at 5 am this morning was to put him in the car and drive around for an hour, but I'm so tired watching a white line from a warm, swaying vehicle probably isn't a good long term strategy!

Welcome missmargot it will get better even though ds 7.5 months has never slept through

Artemis good to hear from you it sounds bloody hideous but you are stronger than me for persevering is it better for you not co sleeping? I was going to put ds cot in his room but the thought of traipsing through there is worse than his currently acceptable sleep.

Things are changing here with no discernable input from me. Ds will now go to bed at 7 wish without me, fed downstairs til sleepy & put down semi awake, stay with him til he nods off after a few mins. Wakes after 30 mins then periodically til I go to bed with him about 10, resettling takes from 5-30 mins but no feeding unless it all goes very wrong! Last night he fed at 0015 then woke at 545 for the day. Usually its 6-630

This is the kid who at 4 months took 2 hrs to go to sleep then woke after 20 mins. Every time. Then fed every 45 mins from 5 months.

I stand by 'you get what you're given' where sleep is concerned. We tried a sleep consultant at 4.5 months, she was lovely but nothing she suggested helped, ds was too young I think.

Found out from mil that dh never slept well either (still doesn't). At 10 months the go gave mil some drops to add to dh's milk to make him sleep First time she used them he slept for 14 hours. FFS! It was in the 70's though!

Wish? Ish....
Go? GP bloody tablet.

Well the rest of the night was rubbish. Hourly wakings again... Even when I took him to my bed at 6ish he was still unsettled...

I think this is the issue most of us are facing keep - our babies can self settle, go for a long time without feeds, but they still wake up stupid number of times. I think if they woke up because of hunger it would actually be easier as you could do something about it, but when they wake up just because there is hardly anything you can do...

Margot I would suggest ditching the dummy too, although it made no difference to my DS - he still woke up hourly. Well, at least I knew dummy wasn't the issue...

Cake that's a really good stretch! Good to know they can just get better on their own, but I wish it happened a bit sooner!

7 month DD here. Goes down like a dream after bath & boob but will not go back down in cot if she wakes past 11pm ish. Cosleeping has undoubtedly saved my sanity during these months of 2-4 night wakings but I'm starting to wonder if she'll ever sleep through or indeed last a whole night in her cot!

Thank you everyone for the support and advice. We will go cold turkey on the dummy tomorrow night, tonight I have moved him from the bedside cot to his regular cot (although still right by our bed). I was starting to wonder whether he and I were waking each other by being in such close proximity and we weren't able to breastfeed for as long as I had hoped when we got the bedside cot so it may make a difference. That said he is currently asleep without the dummy so I won't give it to him unless he really needs it, then tackle the dummy issue afresh tomorrow night.

I hope I didn't sound stealth bragish about him having slept through. Right now I don't see it as a positive as it is as if he's taunting me by making me think we've cracked it and then deciding he was only joking. But you're right, at least I know he can do it....

He goes to nursery Monday and Tuesday and because of the bank holiday they hadn't seen him for a week and all commented on how much he has grown and changed developmentally in 7 days, so hopefully that could be the cause. I know I need to stop obsessing over a cause, but it makes me feel better to think there could be a good reason and it could change back soon.

DS went to bed at 7. Woke at 7.45, 9.15, 11 then 12. Is still awake now. I want to cry.

Oh Mirrhi I hope things got better for you last night.

How did the night turn out Mirrhi? Hope you got some sleep . I find the nights where she's awake for hours on end harder than when she wakes every hour but goes back to sleep in between.

Keep yes it's just persevere re frequent wakes. Essentially we've been recommended a version of gradual retreat - there's a good description on the 'what works for us' thread that keeps popping up - and I'm supposed to keep resettling her using decreasing levels of support, we should be completely hands off by now and definitely no picking up. Makes sense in theory but I just can't handle the crying. It doesn't help that DP has become increasingly useless so I am now handling nights completely on my own and have been on a mattress on the floor next to the cot since we moved her a week ago just because it's the only way I get any sleep myself. Last night I went back to BFing at each wake and we did have a better night, 3 wakes after 11pm, back in the cot each time and up at 6.

Cute you summed up our problem exactly. I don't know why DD can self settle at the beginning of the night but not during. All the books suggest that if you solve the problem at the beginning of the night everything else will follow but that hasn't been our experience.

Cakebaby things do sound to have improved for you since the dark days of a few months ago. Interesting that DS has done that on his own, I keep thinking we should have just waited but we really were at the point of desperation and to be fair some things have improved. Moving DD to her own cot has not made things easier for us than co sleeping. I'm in her room - I shouldn't be, the SC said they get used to it and it becomes harder to get out, but I just couldn't cope with trekking down the hallway every 90 minutes all night. I don't really know where I go from here. It's my fault for not following the plan properly but I found the crying harder to cope with than the sleep deprivation and as I said above, I'm essentially doing this on my own.

Better get ready for work. If I were doing any more than 2 days a week I wouldn't be coping. Large for everyone, hope to see some reports of better nights.

oh Artemis I am so at your partner. why is he not giving you any support that is just dreadful!

mirr you poor thing. my sister has told me to just go with it and not look at the clock but I can't help it. perhaps I'm hoping to see a longer stretch to give me hope...

keep good advice from your sister, I stopped clock watching when ds was waking 15+ times a night. As artemis alludes to they we're dark nights indeed.

artemis things are much better but he's going to have to go in his cot soon as he's become mobile and is a budding escape artist. Thing is I need to be totally committed to making changes and I'm not there yet. So sorry about your dp I can sympathise though DH and I are on a collision course. He CAN settle ds at wake ups as ds doesn't expect a feed (obvs) but it takes him a while as ds is furious! However, last night DH gave up after 35 mins and left ds to cry. Of course, I went and settled him but this morning DH reckons he would rather just leave ds as he's crying so hard he reckons it makes no difference if he's there or not.

So in essence, if ds doesn't settle for DH in 30 mins he's going to let him CIO. Except he won't as I won't allow it. And he knows it. Cop out or what?

Mirrhi I hope night want slightly better for you in the end I'm at least blessed with no long wake ups (I've probably just jinxed it)...

3h initial stretch last night and hourly wakings again... Going to bed at 9 today do that at least I have 3 uninterrupted hours to begin with! (Sod's law he won't do 3 today...)