Stopping night feeds. Say something helpful.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

This is partly a request for tips and experiences and partly a pledge.

DD is 1 yo. She bf to sleep at night.
Then wakes anywhere between 1 and three times, again bf back to sleep. I get that the feeding is a comfort.
I, of course am nearly dead from sleep deprivation/ disruption.
I am, from tonight going to stop night feeding. I'm going to initially drop any feeding before 1am, then move on to dropping any later feeds IYSWIM.
I'll be cuddling her, no CIO or cc, but no milk before 1 am.
Any tips?
I know I should like a wuss for doing it so gradually but she's only a baby after all.

Forth night in a row, or maybe fifth, that DS has been awake for more than an hour from about 4am, this is on top of his usual 2-3 hourly interval wake ups. I don't know how I'm still alive. DH is managing to rock him back to sleep as he won't have me doing it. I'm blaming teeth for the sake of my sanity.

Anyway, wasn't online last night at all as went to bed 9pm (managed to get some decent kip). The Jay Gordon method sounds v similar to PPO
drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
Still feeding for the first 3 days but putting them down awake, then not feeding but staying with them.

If I was to get the NCSS which book would I get for my 14MO? I notice there's a baby one and a toddler/preschooler. DS is defo a toddler physically, but he doesn't understand what a 20MO would.

Also, great link, Liveinthepresent about why the NCSS might not work - I suspect I have one of these babies anyway!!

I have both NCSS books.
I prefer the baby one.
I'll look at those links again now. Thanks
not that anything works

Thanks AC. Look at it this way - at least you're trying something, I've been too chicken to even start yet! I need to prepare more by reading EVERYTHING there is out there

You can't give up AC as you were my inspiration and I'll have to give up too then. Is DD your first DC? Just wondering as I often get annoyed that any change takes so long and a wise old granny at playgroup once said that you can try what you like to get them to change but if they're not ready it's tough, you'll have to wait longer. This was re DS's appalling behaviour when he was two, hitting, pushing, biting etc. I know we can try and influence their behaviours but it's down to them in the end.

Was chatting to my mum about my plans not to feed DD in night and I realised that my efforts in the last couple of weeks have achieved a reversal of feeding times. So all I've done is change DD's waking pattern but I'm still waking as much, if not more in the night Ggggrrrrrrrrrrr

I doubt I'll be back during the night asDD will prob sleep through!!!

I can't post properly as loads going on here - but no way is our OP giving up - she makes me laugh in the face of exhaustion and I feel like we are all making progress.

Princess - interestingly therealAC you and I all have other DC - wonder if this is a factor ?

I am scared to be too positive but things are going well - need your support

DD awake and has a new cold....one step forward, two back..... Will be back during the night.....boo hoo

Sorry AC just read some if your first posts and remembered that you have a DS too.

Have completely cursed myself with the stupid sleeping through comment as DD has now been awake and crying on and off for 2 hrs. Every time I put her in the got she wakes up. She doesn't want to feed but just to be cuddled.
Am desperate to go to sleep myself. DH won't help as he 'has work tomorrow'. Have suggested he sleeps with elder DD and I can bring DD2 in our bed as have a feeling I won't get any sleep otherwise. He's being a selfish tw*t though and refusing as, you've guessed it, he has work tomorrow.

Aargh! Poor princess what a horrible night. You poor thing.
Thanks to you and to liveinthepresent for your kind words. Sorry and thanks for allowing me to rant.
Don't fret too muchq about the feeding. Your dd is still little yes?
As for your dh tonight aren't they annoying about the sleep?
I decided yesterday afternoon that I was going to stop feeding to sleep. Sometimes bf and sometimes give a bottle at night, but make she she doesn't go to sleep and the read story, rock bla bla bla.
Then at 3 o clock she had a fever (mmr 10 days ago)
So of course it's bf and nurofen time. There's always something.
Hey HO.
I hope you're asleep now. My dh certainly is

It's me again Up with DS for the first time since bedtime - 10 hours straight sleep I guess that means he just STTN!!

I went to bed stupidly late and have been awake staring at the video monitor quite a bit so not sure I will feel as amazing as I could but that's beside the point I guess.

Too scared it will be a fluke again to be happy - he sounds snotty.

So sorry Princess and AC that you are dealing will ill babies - it's going to be spring soon hope that will reduce the bugs...

That's really amazing.
Whatever else, it mans he can do it. And you're likely to see more progress even if you do have some difficult nights along the way. Sorry you didn't gt a nice big fat sleep though.
for anyone? I'm suffering this morning. DD had trouble settling all night and ds decided to join us in the small hours but at least he just snuggled up and went to sleep.
DH slept right through but I expect he'll have a tale of woe about being awake a lot, or some such bollocks

forLivein and a bit if ! Your DS has done it! Let's hope it's the start of many more for you.

DD cried for another hr last night finally dropping off at 1am after 3 hrs of crying on and off. She then slept soundly til 7am and without a feed so she can do it. She's still v snotty so fingers crossed for a more settled night for her tonight.

Oh and my DH slept through too but is still exhausted. He has no work tom tho so will be getting him roped in if DD is the same tonight.

Hello all! I was reading through the thread (though not all of it) but I notice most of your LOs are a bit older than DS. He's 8months and I really want to stop feeding during the night! I think he's is waking for hunger but only because he won't feed 'properly' during the day so he's making up for it at night. I'm thinking if I reduce his feeds at night he'll take a decent feed in the day. Any opinions on this? Last night he woke 6 times between going to bed at 7 and me eventually getting up at 8.30.

I stopped feeding him to sleep about 6 weeks ago and for about 2 weeks he slept through the night with 1 wakening around 5 and would go back to sleep til 7ish. That was absolute bliss! Then he had a bad 2-3weeks sleeping where he cut his first 4 teeth in the space of 2weeks. After that he slept well again. THEN he got sick and a night in hospital has totally turned him, he will not sleep, night or day!

I tried making a rule that if he woke before 12am OH would go to him, but he just stayed awake crying until eventually 12oclock came and I fed him. We persisted for nearly 2weeks with absolutely no improvement. I think he thinks if he cries long enough I will come feed him, obviously he can't tell the time! Last night I was on my own and I was too tired to fight, fed him back to sleep straight away but he didn't sleep any longer.

I feel like I can't do these nights anymore. Is 8months too young to night wean? Has anything I've said sounded totally wrong and mean?
Help please!

Thanks for the ra-ra - I now have terrible PNT ( pre night tension ) I have realised the only previous occasions he has slept that long ( twice I think) he has then come down with a cold and reverted to hourly waking - so guess what today he is snotty, coughing again , and sneezing.. So although my hopes are sky high I am very afraid to get carried away.

welcome Nimhurchu you don't sound mean at all to me - my DS has just hit 9 months and I started this forever ages ago !
I will post more after bedtime.
Good luck all .

I've been reading more and have got some new ideas from you ladies so thanks already! Water is first, I've been letting DS have a few sips at the end of a meal to wash his mouth out because I've been told I don't want him to fill up on water instead of milk, and that bf should give him all the fluids he needs. BUT he won't take a bottle since I last tried ages ago. Sippy cup at night? Another problem is he loves his sippy cup, I think he'd get too excited if I gave him his favourite toy excluding my iphone.

When trying the time reduction feeding if they want back on after the 5 mins are up what do you do? When I take him off early I just keep doing it until he stops looking back on but that could push the feed to prob 15mins.

I just remembered I fell asleep feeding him last night, sitting up. Eek good job he was sleeping and not wrestling, he would've been on the floor!

Oh and I'm feeding now at 11.20pm, so tonight's another right off!

Am on second feed of the night .
He is poorly. I could literally weep with frustration that the poor thing is ill again.
Sleep been ok taking that into account but who knows what will happen if he gets worse. I live in dread of the hourly wake up resurfacing .

Hope everyone else ok.

NiMhurchu where does the time reduction idea come from ? I think I need to try this if DS is ever not ill.

Too blurry, so apologies but I can't respond well to all. I am thinking of you all.
Another rubbish night. Dd just very unsettled and feverish. Co sleeping and bf is the only way I can cope ATM.
When I have a lucid moment I know that I need to help her by getting her to fall asleep without a feed. I'm not sure how to do it though. I get them both in the bath and then feed her while I read them both a story.
I could feed her after the bath and try to keep her awake. Then rock her while I read the story? How do I stop her falling asleep for the feed?
Do. Need to give up bf?

Hi NiMhurchu good luck.

therealAC I amso sorry you are having such a horrid time.
Clearly I don't have it cracked but I do feel like I am now making progress - getting more and more 4+ hour stretches apart from when really poorly ..
As you know I had phone consultation with sleep lady - and have been taking tiny steps forward since ..
So I am happy to post some of the things I have found worked if you like ? I have gone very very slowly so no crying at all from DS - I haven't attempted to tackle night wakings at all yet but am hoping he will reduce them enough that I can be alert enough to try something soon
He has slept thru 11 pm feed several times now so this may prove possible.

AC I really wouldn't worry about the feeding to sleep at bedtime as I'm sure that's what most people do. And I really wouldn't give up breastfeeding as I think you'll regret it. I'm trying to keep in my head what I did when bottle feeding and firing the night I definitely wouldn't give a bottle at every wake up. It's just having the strength and perseverance to go that in the night though.

DH and I are out tonight wer hoo do hopefully DD is a gd girl for my sis in law. Here's wishing you all good nights.

Lots of typos sorry. Meant to say welcome Ni....can't believe you didn't read the whole thread!!

Have a good night princess I know what you mean about the feeding to sleep as am sure I never worried about it with DD.. So hard to know but I currently have to say I do think that's helped us. Mind you who knows I may be up every hour tonight and even if I am not DS sleeping better could well be entirely down to him and not me.
Anyway AC if you do decide you want to start moving towards not feeding to sleep I can try to remember and post how we started.

Good nights all

Ps AC definitely dont give up BF - it is not the cause.

Ok did a big post earlier but I lost it

Liveinthepresent I read it earlier in the thread. I suppose it's equivalent of giving less oz's in a bottle each time. You set a time limit on feeds and decrease it slowly over a few weeks. Like do 5 mins for a week and then 4min feeds for a week. I think the idea is that once you've been doing a while baby will just not bother to wake up properly for a 1min feed. But thinking more about it I don't think it's for us, I've previously had oversupply from DS taking short feeds.

I'm gona try the water tonight, it's setting ready for the next wake up. I think he's teething again.argh

therealAC I stopped feeding to sleep and it hasn't helped the night wake ups. But it definitely helped me, it was taking 3-4hours to get him down asleep. When he started going to sleep himself he decided he sleeps on his belly! When I first stopped it he seemed to drop the 11pm fed. He'd learnt to self settle so just went back to sleep. But that all went out the window when he was teething. I let him feed for comfort when he was teething so it's my own fault. I still don't know of an alternative! So it must be true they regress when poorly.

PrincessPotsie a night out?? What's that? enjoy!