Stopping night feeds. Say something helpful.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

This is partly a request for tips and experiences and partly a pledge.

DD is 1 yo. She bf to sleep at night.
Then wakes anywhere between 1 and three times, again bf back to sleep. I get that the feeding is a comfort.
I, of course am nearly dead from sleep deprivation/ disruption.
I am, from tonight going to stop night feeding. I'm going to initially drop any feeding before 1am, then move on to dropping any later feeds IYSWIM.
I'll be cuddling her, no CIO or cc, but no milk before 1 am.
Any tips?
I know I should like a wuss for doing it so gradually but she's only a baby after all.

Amanda / therealAC I am so sorry you descended back into ill DD mode - hope its been ok today?
Am still here, still tired , not really tackling night wakings at all.

dS is back to a bit more of a normal pattern - but woke within 2 hours from bedtime so am not hopeful.

Can anyone advise cakebaby on the NCSS thread about PPO technique? She isn't getting any answers.

Good luck for the night.

Good news=DD has dropped 10.30pm dream feed.
Bad news=DD is now waking at midnight and 4ish for feeds instead of the one wake up that she was doing when dream feeding. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Omg.
DH has taken it apron himself to put dd to bed. She wouldn't bf to sleep to night with me.
He is with her, cuddling her and has given her a bottle of formula. But she's crying very loudly.
I want to burst in there and take her off him

Hi. I replied to cakebaby (am good at the "theory" )

Well, he threw in the towel, thank goodness. It was better that he ask for hip than me going in and taking over. Ooh, stressy. I was also worried DS old wake up.
I don't know HO anyone can cope with CIO. 5 minutes of her crying while being held was more Han enough.
I feel a bit bad for dh. She calmed down as soon as I took her. Instantly!
She's asleep now after a 2 mi ute feed.
One teeny step at a time.
Night night.

hip ??
Help.

Good try TheRealAC's DH but it's not a easy as you think is it?! Hoping you all have good nights.

DD awake already....

It was the same here princess DD was awake around 11. Then again at about4. Did you get any sleep?
I'm wondering how many of our "difficult" sleepers are breastfeeding? I know that lots of people say giving a bottle helps but does it? Is it because the baby can learn to settle with pther people (dd only settles with me) or is it a crock of shit?
I'm happy ish to keep breastfeeding but i am keen to know what's working for everyone else.

Hello all ... I am in a rare good mood here.
Amanda I chuckled at your posts re DH mine does that sometimes.. Its so hard to listen to isn't it.
Actually I am currently working hard at little steps towards to DS settling with DH at bedtime - because if I know he will go to sleep with him the idea is he can help at least with the first wake up. And in theory it reduces association of milk for sleep.
Work in progress though !

Anyway I have to say last two nights have been the best for a while.. Might even need those Pom poms !
Last night he slept from 8-11.15 , then fed him and he slept from 11.30-5.30 - I had almost six hours unbroken sleep. Even more encouraging I fed him then but he was so awake he didn't drop off and I didn't expect him to go back down - but I popped him in the cot wide awake he chatted for a bit then dropped off for another hour.
Amazing.
I feel so alert today - it's like life in HD !
Please let this be our turning point.

If I can get to one or two wake ups I reckon I have more chance of tackling them.

Wow Livein that's great! Hope DS is a good boy again tonight.

I did get some sleep though obviously not enough. DD awake again from 1-2 and then at 5 but at least she didn't need a dream feed while I was still awake

I'm interested to see if the thread's bad sleepers are bfed?

Am going to attempt to settle DD without a feed for first wake up of the night tonight though think she knows and is thinking 'you've got no chance!'

Here's hoping some of us get sleep throughs......

Great going liveinthepresent
And good luck princess with settling. I have given up for now.
I have no idea what to expect tonight. Both DCs are shattered. DS is asleep. DD almost so.
I have a few hours' work to do. Really really could do without that. I would love for DD to sleep reasonably well tonight. Please.
Good luck for a good night everyone.

Thanks Princess fingers crossed all round.
Yes my DS is BF too.
But my DD was too - and was an amazing sleeper. I have given much thought to whether I have done things differently with DS or whether he is different. It's so hard to tell - its probably both.
I have definitely resorted to the boob more frequently and readily this time - because of already being frazzled by having a toddler around, not wanting to wake her, wanting to be able to spend time with her etc.
But with DD because she slept so well from very young I just didn't need settling strategies in the night - on the rare occasions she woke it was always for a reason so hunger wasn't a factor.

Not sure that post helps anyone apart from to make me think I didn't know how lucky I was with DD!

Really struggling at the moment. Ds is protesting as soon as I put him in his cot. Every time. And if I don't scoop him up quickly he really screams, high pitched nerve jangling screams. He goes quiet the moment he's picked up though. At the moment I'm getting only 2-3 hours sleep each night, in little bursts rather than a solid block.

I'm finding it really difficult at the moment.

Hawkeye we are struggling here too. DD has been waking twice in the night for 2-3 hours at a time, I can get her to drop off by feeding but the second I put her down she wakes and screams. It doesn't matter if it's in the cot or on the bed with me, she reacts like she's being murdered. It's horrible. I am so sick of people telling me to put her in the cot and leave her to cry, she is beside herself in minutes, but like you I'm really struggling on 3-4 hours of broken sleep a night.

Yes DD is EBF. She refuses bottles and dummies, probably because they don't cuddle her all night like her idiot mother. I don't know if there are any stats out there but anecdotally, most of my friends with babies the same age formula feed and their babies sleep through. One NCT friend was moaning this week that her DD had stopped sleeping 7 - 7 and was now sleeping 7 - 6 instead and the lack of sleep was 'killing' her . I nearly gave it a helping hand .

Sorry you're going through similar Artemis. It's crap isn't it?

Ds is still bf, but is also on solids. He had a nice bowl of porridge tonight, but it hasn't helped. He isn't even hungry half the time. Just pissed off that he's in the cot, not his idiot mother's arms.

I'm also being told to let him cry himself to sleep, but like you I don't feel comfortable with that approach. But the current situation can't continue.

Hawkeye and artemis hang in there.
However bad it is it will get better.
Do whatever you can to get some rest. Everything becomes easier when you have slept enough to think. I feel for you.
It does change so much when they are little - even one or two good nights enable me to see how much progress we have made.
Good luck

Morning all and hope you had better nights Hawkeye and Artemis. That little sleep must be exhausting.

DD woke three times during the night but I feel like we made a tiny breakthrough as DH settled her at first wake up, I fed her at second and settled her without feeding when she woke for the third time.

Now I just have to stay as strong tonight.....

Morning all ! Princess that sounds great - that's what I was sort of aiming for.
I am shocked and amazed to report last night was even better - DS woke and I fed him at about 11.30 - thrn he slept right through to 6.30.

I have no idea whether this is down to my efforts or just his own development.

Of course I fully expect hourly wake ups re reappear with the next illness / teething - but for today I am going to focus on the fact that I have a baby napping in cot , going to bed awake, and doing decent blocks of sleep.

Hope everyone else was ok ? Amanda I cross posted with you yesterday - sorry you were also having work pressure- it really is all too much at times. Hope the weekend gives you a little respite.

Oh god I'm so rubbish
Well done to princess and to postie
Sorry atremis and hawkeye it's sounds too tough. Bleugh!
I have no advice though as I am so utterly shit at this. What was I thinking with this thread? I should have a ban on me from talking about sleep.

What helps me? Erm, I have a double matress on the floor in dd's room. When she wakes I go in, take her out of her cot and co sleep and/or feed her (retitle thread "how to keep night feeding for the rest of your life"). It's not moving us forward but I've actually had some sleep and feel a lot less homicidal towards DH.
Dd has a bit of a cold and a lingering cough. I am determined to offer water before a bf and I'm taking a dint offer, don't refuse approach to bf at night. I've just bf her but she pushed away before sleeping so didn't bf to sleep tonight. I wish she had though because I feel all full on one side

Oh good luck people. Please keep sharing, you're giving me strength.

We had a better night last night, at least better in the context of the last few weeks. Two wake-ups, DP settled at first, I BF at 3am but she did seem hungry and I actually managed to get her back down rather than having her anchored onto my boob for the next 2 hours. So far tonight she has woke numerous times but DP has managed to settle her without picking up. He's got a cough which he's using as an excuse to escape to the spare room so as not to wake her up. I really hope she's kind to me tonight, I've got an interview next week and could do with a few reasonable nights. I'm not thinking about what it will be like if I get this contract and am back at work in 3 weeks' time.

Good to hear people are making progress. I really should have gone to bed an hour ago but it's Saturday night, trying to fake a kind of normality by staying up beyond 9.30pm

Good luck artemis

Well, ds finally went to sleep sometime just before 0300, and dd woke me at 0630. But I did get 3 1/2 hours unbroken sleep between those times so it could have been worse.

On the plus side, ds is getting better at self settling (or, at least not feeding to sleep). He just hates his cot and wakes and screams as soon as I put him in it.

Good luck everyone for tonight.

Me again - good luck everyone.
I have irrational anxiety tonight as DS has literally never done more than 2 good nights in a row.. So I fed him just now and am praying for another long stint. He is coughing and seems unsettled but hope I am in for a pleasant surprise.
Artemis am glad that sounds more manageable.
Hawkeye the self settling has to be a good sign? It seems to be with me DS at the moment.
And forgive the unsolicited advice as am sure you know all the theory - but the sleep lady I spoke to ( discussed up thread somewhere !) was very positive about conscious cot play to build positive associations - you may have done this but its easy enough to keep trying just in case ..
Night all !

Any advice or suggestions are welcome Liveinthepresent.

I have tried positive cot play but he never seems happy in there. I'll persist.

am up with DS - gutted !!
Tried to cuddle and not feed but no joy.