The dreaded SLEEP REGRESSION support and solidarity thread!

[Tiredemma]

Here we are. Sleep deprived, emotional and craving all things sugary just to survive the day.

bah.

Thanks soup he hates his cot as it is and I don't see how him being in there howling is going to resolve the problem even if I am there hand holding and telling him it's all ok. After all, he just hears 'blah blah' in a annoying soothing voice. I'm not sure at his age he has the capacity to understand cause and effect yet despite family telling me he's all but clapping his hands and giggling to himself about getting one over on me.

cakeis thank you I'll take a look at that one. I would like one where the projected images move, if that fits the bill

Cake it's this one and the images do move so to speak, they are on a loop
Tomy Starlight Dreamshow (Yellow)
amazon.co.uk/dp/B00020IPDW

Hope that works!

Ohhh, like it.....thanks! grasping at straws now

Hi all, when I say 'sleep training' I'm still thinking along the wimpier end of the scale! I can't bear the idea of leaving her to cry either (dd is 24 weeks). I'm just struggling with the thought that we might still be in this bind in a few months' time and I'm going to be in a position where I have to drive 90 minutes to a client meeting then be competent and professional all day on 4 hours of broken sleep a night. I guess there's no point in anticipating problems but it worries me. I have no choice about going back to work as I'm the main earner in our household and I'll do DD no good at all if I fall asleep at the wheel somewhere on the M1. We have tried some of the NCSS techniques with little success so far but perhaps she's not ready for it yet. That would be my starting point in a few months if we are still struggling to help DD to sleep well. In the meantime I'm trying to stop the habits I find unhelpful or unfeasible in the long term and avoid picking up any more... Easier said than done!

We're on the same page Artemis , you're not alone

Artemis, I hear you. It's a scary thought going back to work on so little sleep. But I did it, full-time too. Work is so much easier than looking after a baby! You even get to go to the loo on your own! Mind you I didn't have such a hellish commute.

Soup you're right, the actual work will be the easy part! Thankfully I don't commute every day. I can work from home some of the time and will be part time for the first 3 months so there will be time to ease back in, I've just been a baby brained wreck for weeks now and it scares me a bit! But I am a bugger for foreseeing problems where none may exist. 3 months is half of DD's life, lots may change

How is everyone doing tonight? DD has been asleep in her cot for half an hour on an arrangement of cushions DP invented to mimic the way she sleeps on the couch. I'm a bit dubious but it seems OK so far. Going to try to get some sleep myself while I can.

artemis the things we do!

After last night, dp says he's going to come through & help me. Guess who's asleep on the couch?

Scared to go to bed, fall asleep just to be woken straight up again. Dont think ill be physically able to get up!

Hi everyone, I was too tired to post but I'm still reading! Not much changed here, naps still shit, lasting about 30 minutes unless I nap with DD... Then it's 45 minutes. Still no walks as it's -14 outside!
Not sure how many wake ups we have but o guess probably 3-4 so not too bad. Discovered that DD prefers sleeping on her side so I try to prop her with a rolled up blanket or a pillow.
Artemis we have frequent green poos too! No idea what's causing them; I was sure it was dairy/soy so I've been off them for ages now, but recently they've come back... I keep thinking I must have eaten something a few days ago and now as my body gets rid of the dairy proteins, so does DD's so maybe I'll just wait.
I gave up hope that DD will ever learn how to fall asleep on her own (no feeding, no dummy) ... Rod for my back, yada yada.... ;)
How on earth do I teach her to nap longer!?

I only found this thread today - I'm sorry so many others are suffering but it's kind of comforting iykwim!

My DS (21 weeks) was a good sleeper from about 12-18 weeks. Then...hello 4-month sleep regression! He's worse now than he was at 6 weeks and deteriorating daily. I feel a bit bad moaning about only 3 weeks of sleep deprivation but when you've seen how good things can be, man it hurts to go backwards!

Ironically we'd just got him to take a dummy in the last few weeks, which means we can now put him down before he's fully asleep and 9 times out of 10 he'll settle himself. It's staying asleep that's the problem. He has 3-4 naps during the day but they very rarely last more than an hour. 30-40 mins is the norm (1 sleep cycle, I know) then he's wide awake. I've tried re-settling him but he just gets wound up.

He goes to bed at night at around 9-9.30pm. Either wakes 40 mins later, or 2 hours later. At that point I just shush, insert dummy and he settles back to sleep. Then between 1.30 and 2.30, at which point I feed him and he seems genuinely hungry. He falls asleep on the boob. Then around 4, when I shush and re-settle, then about an hour or so later, which is when I usually give up and bring him into bed with me to feed on and off and doze until about 8/9am. On a good day I'll get maybe 2 hours proper sleep like that but DS is becoming more fidgety by the day (he's had a cold too which doesn't help). I also have intermittent insomnia (a long-standing issue) which means that some nights I don't get to sleep at all between his wakings. I have to say though I find looking after a baby on naff all sleep much easier than working! At least I don't have to attend meetings and try to sound intelligent. Plus DS doesn't mind if I'm slobbing around in old leggings and haven't brushed my hair lol.

Much love to all x

noisy welcome to you! You'll find lots of similar issues here, we all enjoy letting off steam in a non judgey environment!

cindy hope your night was better?

marushka I tried propping up ds on his side as that's how he sleeps with me, but it didn't help! He just wants to be next to me, with at least one chubby little hand on my chest.

So, still co sleeping, feeding every 2-3 hrs which is ok I suppose. However, he's gone from spending an hr or so in the cot when put to bed, to about 10 mins before hysterics which we cannot recover from it seems. Cue me going to bed REALLY early just so the household gets some peace and he finally gets some sleep.

Anyone got any hysterics recovery & resettling advice? We're at a loss.

Hi!
Thanks yes we had a better night. Went to bed at 7 & 3 wake ups till i fed & bed at 10.
Fed every 3 hours & only needed settled at 2am without a feed.

Dp came to bed & helped at 1am. Made all the difference knowing i only had to do feeds & they were 10, 12:30, 3 & up at 6!

Lets see if i get a repeat tonight as hes away for the night.

cakebaby any idea what causes thr hysterics? Is he asleep when you put down? Does he sound in pain or just annoyed/frustrated?

marushka its possible she'll get used to naps & their routine & start napping longer on her own. Do you play gentle music or white noise during nap? It could help resettle if dc wakes or stirs during nap. Mine didnt start having longer naps till i put her to sleep awake & shushed to sleep. If she woke up in different place it would stress her out.

Makes no odds if put down awake or asleep, the only difference is how long it takes for crying to start! Not in pain just wants boob & me next to him. He looks frightened and bewildered, it's just heartbreaking

Welcome Noisy! I'd forgotten that I need to look at least clean when I go back to work...

Marushka I don't know what the green poos are about. I had a dairy heavy meal a few days ago but would have thought that would be through her system by now. Various websites suggest she's getting too much lactose-heavy fore milk which I guess could be the case given that she's feeding for comfort so much, I tend to switch sides fairly frequently as I'm getting really sore. I'm sure we have teething going on here, she was using my boob as a teething ring earlier on

Cakebaby I struggle with resettling too. Up for most of last night as I just couldn't get her back down after waking. She tends to do angry whinge type crying at first rather than the upset tearful kind but it can soon escalate. She tends to 'fight' me. I'm covered in scratches this morning as I'm so crap at filing her nails.

cindy glad you had a better night and DP helped!

I can't look my (D)P in the face this morning I'm so pissed off. He snored through all the wake ups including the 3am nappy explosion and full clothes change. Finally woke at 4.30 in a foul mood seemingly with both of us and went to sleep on the couch. Came back an hour later and spent 30 mins trying to settle her then announced he's not doing any more 4am wake ups. Went back to bed and has only just got up. Me and DD have been up since 6.30, she's crazy tired again but I just can't get her to drop off. I would take her out in the pram but can't even put her down to get dressed. Supposed to be meeting friends for lunch today but all I want to do is sleep.

Oh artemis I'm for you!

I don't even get as far as resettling these days, I can't even settle to sleep in the first place! After 2 hrs of getting him to nod off in my arms & putting him down (suggested to me as a way forward) he wakes and cries uncontrollably whether I'm there or not, picked up or not, shush drives him batshit crazy, drowsy does not exist here, down awake in cot leafs to immediate and sustained meltdown hence my early nights. Totally ridiculous, if you told me a month ago I would be doing this I would not have believed it....thinking of using a US based on line help service as the advice as a last resort before getting tough, which I DO NOT want to do

Oh cakebaby it's grim isn't it? I don't get the refusing to be put down thing. Have you ruled out a physical cause? I asked my GP yesterday about reflux but she said it's unlikely to be starting at near 6 months old and especially as the crying when put down is just night time not during the day . She was sympathetic but not much use.

DD has to be completely sound asleep to put her down or she wakes and either whinges or cries irrespective of whether I'm there or not. I can't lie next to her and cuddle her (unless there's a nipple in her mouth), I have to stand up and rock her and that's a bit hit and miss too. She will settle usually between 11 and 4, albeit with wake-ups, but after 4am I often can't get her back down. It's been over a month, I'm losing faith that it's a phase she'll grow out of. What's the helpline you're considering? The prospect of getting tough upsets me too.

DP has apologised for being a horrible twat. I feel a bit better, but not much. DD has fallen asleep on me 10 mins before we need to go out

cakebaby so frustrating. I feel for you...i wish there was some magic advice i could give you.

marushka glad u got an apology...what a shite! My dp is lording it about calling himself daddy cool after last nights relative success. twat good for him!

For thoew whose dc wont sleep in house but will in pram...i just put dd in pram to walk to sleep but started pissing it down so rather than confuse & take out of pram suit & put in swing i wheeled pram into bedroom & shes only gone to sleep! Not sure how long it will last...

Cakebaby and Artemis you guys really have it bloody rough. I just don't have any experience of refusing to settle at bedtime - DD1 had a dummy which sorted her out and DD2 settles with just a few groans/shouts but no tears, so have no ideas how to solve that problem. Feel free to poke me in the eye.

DP/DHs need to step up to the plate. Fucking hell, they have no idea.

I left the DDs with DH for an hour this morning to get a haircut. First one in 6 months. Feel so much better.

ARGH I meant artemis sigh.

Can you try baby gaviscon without a prescription? I mean, surely it wont do any harm. I have about 7 boxes of it unused as my dd began throwing it up! I just dont trust doctors ... they can be wrong!!

Also I heard about The Sleep Lady who is in Edinburgh (she does phone consultations) who looks at your whole situation & symptoms such as possibility of silent reflux, your diet, their diet etc. From what I can tell she's not a cio or cc advocate.

Have heard really good things from someone I met yesterday. Her website is ((www.thesleeplady.co.uk)) if anyone is interested. Think ill see if things keep improving here first but if anyone is at the end of their tether,....

Thanks for the welcome. I'm totally hanging by a thread today and finding it hard to be a good or nice mummy

Tried to get DS to nap for more than one sleep cycle earlier. Failed.

Awe noisy can you get someone to look after dc so you can go eat chocolate in the bath or take a walk on your own or something??? Not wanting to sound like a complete hippy but as mums we can get 'empty wells' & need to fill up again or we r no use to anyone and feel like shit. Thanks to emmas advice, I have a bath & feel so much better for it.

Every night I cook dinner, with ipod on, alone & dance about the kitchen. Makes me feel that little bit human.

and you havent failed at the nap thing. All you can do is provide the right environment for ds to nap and if he only takes a sleep cycle, thats just how it is. Its him. Its nature. Its NOT you. You've done your part.

Thanks Cindy. I think I'm getting DS's cold too, bum.

DP does what he can to help. I like the idea of a walk but I think I'd prefer a nap! Sooooo tired...

Welcome newbies!
We had a new achievement last night - one feed all night - which dd has never done - beam... Prob only one night though but feeling hopeful.

cindy - since our improved nights, dd has been sleeping in her pram top!!! We are trying the cot tonight and so far not good... Grrrr

flopsy thats amazing! Hope it continues...

Well more positive news...

Dd laughed for the first time today and also sat up for the first time :)

Now just settled herself with no moaning.

Feeling happy.