Too early to cry it out?

[NewParents20]

My baby is now over 3 weeks old and I've started the cry it out routine for her.

My bf is dead against it, but the only way she'll sleep is if we hold her. In the long run I think we'll get more sleep, and so will our baby.

My bf is getting really annoyed with the crying and angry with me.

Seriously, you're leaving a 3 week old to cry it out?

Of course it's too early. Have you struggled to bond with your baby?

Please don't tell me you are really doing this with a 3 week old! :(

I will just assume this is genuine.

3 weeks is too young, cyo only works when the DC is old enough to understand what is happening (at least 6 mo I would say).

Now don your hard hat OP, you will need it.

I'm no expert but 3 weeks is heartbreakingly young for a baby to be left to cry.

Hold her, it's what she wants and needs.

This part of you daughter's life is a passing moment enjoy the cuddles.

I actually have no words!!

Do not do this.

I suggest you speak to a HV as soon as you can you obviously need help and support because in no way is this ok. Your baby wants to be held because new babies need to be close to their parents! Survival instict etc :(

a 3 week old baby needs love and cuddles not being left to cry. They can't understand why they are being ignored.

Having been in the position when my son was 8 weeks old of not being able to properly comfort him when upset (he was in HDU) please just enjoy the cuddles. Please don't leave such a young, vulnerable child to cry

Did you not like the responses you got on your other identical thread?

How would you feel if you were left sobbing for hours? Hungry, thirsty, exhausted, abandoned?

Your baby hasn't even learned to be a baby yet, let alone anything else, so ffs give the poor mite a cuddle! It's a massive, bright, smelly, noisy overwhelming world to a tiny person who's used to a dark, warm, safe womb.

Yes. Far, far too early. Personally, given that CIO involves just leaving baby on her own to cry until she stops even if it takes hours I would do anything but that, controlled crying is different but again I wouldn't even think of it at that age. Are you feeling ok?

It is too early. Babies don't understand at that age. They have to be at least 6 months old.

Why did you have a baby if you don't want to cuddle, comfort and LOVE her?!

Three weeks is too early, really. Please reconsider. At least read this before you go any further.

3 week old babies aren't meant to sleep through the night. They're meant to feed, wake, need changing, feed, repeat.
Did you not know this before you had a baby??

Imo it is abhorrent to do such a thing to a baby at all but 3 weeks is definitely wrong and disgraceful.

Please go and cuddle your baby.

Again, going to have to assume this is genuine. Don't not do this. It is not healthy. A baby at that age is crying because they need you. They need something. Even if that is a cuddle. They have just spent 9 months safe inside you and to them this is a big scary world. They need that comfort. They need to feel safe. Leaving a baby this young to cry is seriously not on.

In desperation is did this once a day for naps at four weeks. It went from twenty minutes to ten to five within three days and I got a bit of sanity back. So, yes, it does work.

I really regret it and it was a rubbish thing to do. I was surrounded by people who made me feel like my baby was abnormal for refusing to nap in her cot. Needless to say I didn't do it with dc2.

Just a bit too early. Cuddle your baby. As much as you can. And enjoy these cuddles. Newborn cuddles do not last forever

I feel so terrible - I thought this was the right thing to being doing.

I can understand why it might seem that you and baby will get more sleep in the long term - but honestly, your baby is too little. A tiny baby has no concept of crying to manipulate - if she cries, she has a need, and all she knows is that nobody meets her needs - all the research shows that babies who are fed on demand, cuddled as needed, and whose need for closeness is met, are more confident and independent in the long term.

Tiny babies will not sleep through the night. Feeding every hour is normal. If you are breastfeeding, it's important to feed on demand, and frequently, to get your supply going at this stage.

Babies need to know that you are nearby. Think about it in evolutionary terms - they need to know they are protected. She knows she is safe and secure with you, so will sleep in your arms. Have you considered co sleeping? Or having a side cot attached to your bed if you are not happy with bed sharing? That is the best way to get more sleep, and a secure and happy baby. Please don't leave her to cry? I'm sure you want to do the best for your baby - expect a flaming on this board - but I don't think even advocates of cry it out would suggest it with a baby this tiny.

Oh lordy! Assuming this is real.....3 weeks? No book/website/gossip/old wives tale/friend or granny would advise this. She's fresh out -hold, cuddle.....

No need to feel terrible, just use it as a chance to rethink your plans. Accept help on offer, sleep when you can and if needed ask your HV for support.

OP
Why are you posting?
Either you think it's right so carry on.
Or you suspect you are being a terrible, neglectful patent and deserve to be vilified online.