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Original poster

Misery loves company: riding the mo fo out into Part II

999 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 11/06/2013 21:29

In our last exciting instalments:

Needles was at breaking point with a screaming 10 mo DD

Hear had experienced the magic of ONE unbroken night!

Dreaming was continuing to confound all with her ability to manage three children on four or five minutes a night, thanks to DT the Terrible.

Stitch was still having her sleep eaten by...erm...Stitch.

Poppy was pondering how the actual fark she was going to manage a newborn on top of BabyAmex's night time shenanigans.

And the desperate Elphaba had turned night duties entirely over to DH with mastitic results.

Join us with your stories of misery and woe in this, the most sleep-deprived corner of MN! Grin

OP posts:
Clarella · 26/08/2013 20:48

oh dreaming Wine Brew Wine Wine Wine and hugs. I don't know what to advise or say other than you sound an amazing mummy.

in fact a vat of Wine for everyone.

hand foot and mouth was horrid and really hope hasn't set off separation anxiety Confused there's been some signs since he came down with it on the same day as starting nursery Sad he definitely won't accept anyone settling him but me at night now. which means I have to co sleep in order to cope. and antidepressants are helping too Grin

so our latest sleep set up to accommodate this as well as operation own room and sttn is: giant brio bedside cot we were given back on our double bed (cheaper than getting a super king) so I can work on getting him in his own space and cheap ikea cot in his own room with whole bed time routine done in there (book, boob to sleep) and putting down in cot. then if there is a magical longer-than-half-an-hour stint woo hoo! Grin he did do 2 and half hours the other day actually.

thing is he is capable of going to sleep by himself OCCASIONALLY because of the bedside cot - if boob didn't work I plonked him down and he'd roll about while i read mned and then just go to sleep. then he did it in the cot in his room too. in a way I wish we'd persevered with the bedside cot and forgotten the whole nursery idea but dh is so embarressed about cosleeping. and he needed to see progress. so going down in the nursery keeps dh happy and I suppose is a start of a routine??????

he'd be 9 months today if he'd popped out on time. decided to roll and get a tooth today. maybe he'll sttn?!?Grin nope probably start the nine month sleep regressionHmm

BaldHedgehog · 26/08/2013 22:57

I'll write sumfink soon,I promizzzzzzz...

NeedlesCuties · 27/08/2013 21:11

Do any of you have babies/toddlers who are really awkward to settle at night? I don't mean during the night, but just for the first attempt at putting them to bed.

DD (12 months) is a PITA for getting to sleep. Takes about 1+hour of walking, rocking, shushing, etc. I really can't remember DC1 being this hard Sad

I've mentioned before about the nighttimes and how bad it is, but I was just wondering if anyone else struggles with getting their LO to sleep in the first instance.

HearMyRoar · 27/08/2013 22:02

Dd goes through phases of being great and others of being terrible to go to sleep. At the moment it all hinges on her naps. If she has one good nap that finishes no later then 12:30 or earlier then 11:30 she goes to sleep fine at about 7pm. If she deviates from this at all by having her nap to early or too late, or has 2 naps, we don't stand a chance of getting her down before 9pm.

We have learnt that any attempt to force bedtime when she is not ready just ends up with hours of screaming and a no earlier bedtime, so now we just leave her to run about the place until she is tired out. It is a pain though.

NeedlesCuties · 28/08/2013 07:59

Glad to hear that roar as my DD is the exact same! All about the timing of naps. Is a bit awkward as it means that DS is sort of dragged out for walks, drives etc which I need to make appealing to him, when really it's just cuz I want DD to sleep. She will not nap in her cot, so that makes it even more annoying!

HearMyRoar · 28/08/2013 08:05

How annoying not napping in the cot. Our problem with dd is that if she is really tired there is nothing you can do to stop her sleeping. She will just scream and scream, and then pass out where ever we are. She once walked up to dp, lent against him and fell asleep standing up. So if she is determined to do a second nap we are screwed. Oh well, I'm sure she will grow out of it one day Hmm

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 28/08/2013 19:18

The one and only consistent thing about DS's sleep is that I can have him asleep in his cot on, or just after, seven. It requires boob, following strict bath then book routine started at 6:30pm every night, so I'm sure some sleep 'expert' would tell me that's why all of our attempts at sleep training have failed, because he still feeds to sleep in the first instance. It's probably the biggest reason I'm reluctant to stop BFing because it would mean the one and only reliable thing about his sleep going out the window.

On the dairy-free front, we're on day four here with not a jot of change in bowels or sleep. Since I am having to cope on no sleep without ice-cream or chocolate, I cannot see this experiment being maintained for much longer unless there is a significant change quite soon.

OP posts:
HearMyRoar · 28/08/2013 20:59

elph I would give it a week if you can manage without the ice cream for that long. If there is no difference by then I doing there will be at all.

You can get dairy free ice cream. Not sure what it is like though :o

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 28/08/2013 21:11

DS and I trawled Tesco for 20 mins this evening looking for dairy free ice-cream. The closest they had was sorbet. Pah. Sad

OP posts:
HearMyRoar · 29/08/2013 16:22

You want to try a health food place. Holland and Barret have soya and we have an independant place that does some made with coconut milk.

You might find that even if ds is intolerant you can still have a bit once in a while. My DD isn't as bad as miniDreaming and I find a bit of one off dairying is fine so occasionaly gorge on ice-cream or milk chocolate. It's just if I have a reasonable amount everyday that she really starts to have a problem. I started having yoghurt and museali for breakfast and after about 3 days of it she started showing signs of it getting to her.

NeedlesCuties · 29/08/2013 20:57

I need a Wine and a cry.

DD was awake and singing like a drunk from 3am-5:30am. So much so and so frustrated was DH that he stormed out of the house! Left for about an hour :( Not a good thing.

Then today she had one nap, but it was a late one (from 3pm-4pm) and is now currently crying her eyes out totally over-tired but refusing to settle. Has been crying for over an hour. I really do not know how DS (3.5 years) sleeps through all this!!!!!

Not nice.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 30/08/2013 14:29

Where did your DH go at that hour, Needles?? Roffling at singing like a drunk, though Grin

Six days of dairy-free here and not one iota of change. Unless nursery announce a sudden solidification in the nappy department today, it's macaroni cheese for dinner followed by pudding and custard. Followed by a shit night of sleep. Sigh.

OP posts:
NeedlesCuties · 30/08/2013 15:37

elph he said he went off to McDonalds for one of their breakfasts, then sat in the car eating it and sulking Hmm

Always calm in the face of a crisis, eh. >bangs head on desk

HearMyRoar · 30/08/2013 19:22

Well, wouldn't it be nice if we could all just piss off for an hour at 3am when the DC are waking up. Hmm

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 30/08/2013 20:10

Absolutely. I tried dairy free for Dt the terrible once before elph, for 2 weeks with not one iota of difference. I was still having soya though, and he having soya, and wasn't on meds but stopped me re-trying for MONTHS as I insisted to anyone who'd listen he wasn't intolerant Hmm. Not that I'm saying he is, but it has to be a whole month of misery to know. It only took two weeks with other twin and was obvious, and wierdly he's now more tolerant, as in can have some cake, few mouthfuls of ice cream fine, whereas DT the Terrible took way longer to get it out of his system and improve but is actually more intolerant. Go figure Hmm . Vomit gate last night as i went to work, left dc with DH and my dm as nanny off sick (had an op, panic panic) and they were sp pleased they'd enjoyed a scone at lunchtime. Dt the Not So Angelic fine, his brother puking projectilely all over the room when i tried to boob him to sleep. Yuck.

Speaking of my Terror, he once slept 7:30-2:30am a few nights ago. A PB for him. Unfortunately Dt the Not So Angelic had a bad night so overall the night was still dire, with DH and i swearing at a baby each by 4am.

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 30/08/2013 20:11

needles no self settling here either. I'm going to tackle it soon though. She says half heartedly its rocking, shushing, jiggling nightmare here for AGES too

NeedlesCuties · 30/08/2013 21:14

roar I know, I felt more that he was shooting himself in the foot by leaving to get a McDonald's cuz she fell asleep about 15 mins after he left. Doh!

To give him his credit, his is a very hands-on and involved dad, honestly he does about 85% of the settling her during the night. I weaned her off the breast a week ago, and now he has taken over most of the time. If I go into settle her she tries to feed from me, so it's easier for her (and me!) if he does it.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 01/09/2013 09:38

I think maybe DS just wants me dead. Up every hour of the night, pinching me, kicking me and pulling my hair as hard as he can when he's not feeding. Then in the day he screams bloody blue murder whenever I change his nappy (but is cool as a cucumber for DH Hmm) and wants me to do nothing but walk around and carry him. Can't sit and hold (scream); can't put on floor with toys (horizontal tantrum).

I think I'll go to McDonalds for breakfast. Permanently.

OP posts:
NeedlesCuties · 02/09/2013 08:12

Poor elph have some Brew I've left the milk out of it for you.

I wonder if "going to McDonald's for breakfast" will be the new buzzword on this thread for desperation. My DH has started a trend and he doesn't even know I told you all about his storming off Grin

BaldHedgehog · 03/09/2013 21:48

Hello folks

Sorry again for dropping off the fred again
Busy like hell,booked some time off work and going to tackle some DIY soon so might disappear off the radar again

Elph have you got my DS?I've got cracking knee joints and sore back from lifting DS who tries to use me as a climbing frame clutching my clothes.Waaah,waaah,waaah.He's heavy and at the end of the day I'm knackered.DH drives me mad coming back from work saying that "he's tired".Yeah,I'm sitting on my arse all day doing FA.
Thank goodness he puts DS to bed-takes him a few minutes,I'd be half an hour at least.

Found out last night that my friend is expecting-so pleased for her as it took them a while to get there,now I'm feeling broody like hell.

Off I go to the kitchen,then shower and bed.Night night,all the best for everybody

HearMyRoar · 07/09/2013 18:10

Dd napped for 10 minutes today and has just passed out in an exhausted heap. Her napping is getting more and more erratic. Who knows what the night will be like Confused

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 08/09/2013 11:44

We persisted with dairy-free after all here and there's been minor improvement in the nappy department, so we're carrying on with it. There might be more improvement if I went totally dairy-free myself but I just can't deal with yet more sacrifice of my only remaining comfort, so I'm just limiting dairy (and I'm actually enjoying the soy milk on my cereal...)

Sleep remains hideous, hideous, hideous. The hair pulling at night is seriously starting to get to me. I think it's a comfort thing for him but I almost subconsciously snapped his wrist back the other night, such was my frustration.

Oh, God, it's a good job he's (mostly) adorable during daylight hours. I have no life at all. Sad

OP posts:
DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 08/09/2013 12:08

If there's some improvement but minor I'd cut out soya too (so that's quorn off the menu though...) . It's 30-40% of dairy intolerant babies who are soya intolerant too. Oatley milk is ok. That's what we are on, swapping for koko coconut milk for a change. Not great news I know.

So, Dt the Terrible is doing well with his exclusion high diet. Limited diarrhoea these days, rarely vomiting. We are working on Plan Self Settle. He is now lying in his cot and holding my hand while he goes to sleep. Absolutely amazing. Still taking a while some nights but overall I'm pleased. At night he is now frequently sleeping 7:30-11 or 12, occasionally he's done until 2am! From there It's shit, I feed about 3-4 times til he's up for the day which is often still 5:30 ish. I do finally see some light though. I just have to get out of the habit of going to bed at 11, which i used to do because he woke every 30 minutes til then when I fed him between then and midnight... Hmm. Try harder to not enjoy my child free time too much and stay up late is my new mission!

17 months here. Sigh.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 08/09/2013 12:56

Thing is, if he was soya intolerant, I would have expected the diarrhoea to stay the same or get worse as his consumption of that has increased exponentially since going dairy-free. Soya free as well really is too much with nursery - he's having meat there to make up for the dairy but it's too difficult to expect them to get non-soya, non-dairy yoghurts and puddings for him to have while the other kids are all chowing down on yoghurts, ice-cream, custard etc. We'll just have to take what improvements we can get, unfortunately. Quorn is actually soya-free, BTW. It's made from mushrooms, fiddled about with in a laboratory, with a bit of filler and egg added.

OP posts:
DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep · 08/09/2013 22:24

You're probably right, but it can be that they react more to some things. DT the Terrible is better with soya than dairy I think. He can have a bit more of it without getting full blown d&v I think. It's so hard to know. All I know is for months I said Dt the Terrible was just a bad sleeper, who we couldn't do anything with because he made himself sick. Except now he's fine. Sleeping aside of course!!

Blinking babies. Just sleep damnit!