2 year old insomniac- Mummy needs therapy!

[Novacane]

My DS, has always gone to bed later than your normal 'average' baby- it all started when he was tiny and DP commuted and came back from work late etc etc- then dreaded reflux took hold and it was impossible for any sort of bedtime routine to be established till the reflux subsided at about 14/15 month (that was a super condensed story!)
Anyway, fast forward to now, DS is 2.1, and as a I type at 10pm, he is wide awake. bouncing around in his cot, singing dancing and generally annoying me- he's been there since 8.30pm.

He gets up at 8am every day, and generally sleep for about 2hrs in the afternoon, but sometimes he doesnt nap, and for example today it was 30 mins. its all hit and miss really. I have noticed in the past few weeks though hes been going to sleep later in the day (which I thought was why he wasn't settling so well in the evening)

Well im flummoxed and desperate for ideas. Hes not unhappy, hes quite ok singing and dancing to himself in his cot- but I cant go anywhere near upstairs- because he will start to scream and want to come out- and I know when DP gets home soon he will
1.) tell me im cruel for leaving him there
2.) go and get him and put thomas tank on (cos ive been cruel) therefore making it worse.

HELP! I dont mind 9pm asleep as I know he sleeps till 8am- but this is getting rediculous- its getting to the point that im tucked up in bed asleep while hes still awake!

any ideas?

Nova x

I have to say how many stories I'll read before we start too - otherwise all I get is "nuvver one mummy, nuvver one" cute etc but if i succumb it impinges on older children's time. I do let her chose a couple of stories to look at in bed after i've finished reading to her though.

Yes I agree that you should probably get another bottle/teat as two big changes at once is probably too much for him to cope with. Smiling as I type, thinking if only they knew how easy they have it

Well blow me down with a feather.
Just come back from work and all is quite and DS been asleep since 2145hrs!
his day
up 8am
lazy morning, mummy cleaning and probably a bit too much telly.
lunch
bed as was tired from last nights antics
slept for 3 hours! (I selfishy let him so I could do more cleaning,have 1hr to myself)
asleep with not so much as a murmur apparently by 2145hrs.

well I was dreading tonight for DP as I thought omg hes never going to sleep tonight, we've not done a lot today and hes had a lot of sleep- then the little darling goes to sleep no fuss or nothing nearly an hour earlier than the past few weeks

Im flummoxed...

Discuss

quiet - I can spell I promise

Up at 5 am, but managed to convince him that is was still nighttime and with the bribe of a new dummy he went back to bed......

Tanya help! lol

Blimey Nova & dp, well done! Especially with the 5am nonsense - have found convincing children it is still 'sleepytime' to be not my favourite activity in the wee hours. We had to buy a bunny clock for dd2 (ears down and eyes closed until preset wake up time when eyes open and ears go up - quietly of course!) as she was up and dressed for school at 4am a couple of times in the winter.

The bunny clock sounds like a good idea Emmylou, will have to keep my eyes open for that- was thinking I could also use it to tell him its time to go to bed to sleep too. Although Im not sure he would quite understand that fully yet, I think it would be good for him to get used too, an im sure he would 'get' it soon enough.

The rain is depressing us, he's just asked to go to bed to play with his thomas toys in his cot!
Looks like he may be having a long nap agian this afternoon!

Sounds like definite progress novacane

does sound like progress. Well done on the 5 am thing. I hate that too.

emmylou, where did you get the bunny clock? I've been looking for ages, and can't find one...

Think I got mine from Great Little Trading Company (is there a mumsnet link and discount to their website?) but have seen them recently in shop window (a lighting shop i think of all places)in my local town of Wetherby - but thats probably unlikely to be of any use to you!

hey emmy, Im not far from you- knaresborough!

was in Wetherby last night with work!

Do you know if they still have any of them clocks in?

Nova x

Hi Nova - haven't looked too recently (was in Arther English Lighting - on same street at toy shop but opposite) but will keep and eye open. On second thoughts, we have one that is inbetween users and you could borrow for a little while to see if it helps - they cost about £20 so aren't cheap. I'm in Tockwith - not too far from W'by. Or could bring to June Harrogate meet up if need is not so urgent!

I'm in Bristol, so not much good!! But maybe the Arther English shop has a website - I will have a look. Had looked in John Lewis, Mothercare etc. but they were useless! Thanks.

Clairemow - try Great Little Trading Company website (GLTC.co.uk i think) as they do mail order.

Thanks Emmylou - found it, and they have one for under £20. Worth it to (hopefully) ensure getting up time.. Wonder if it works if you set it an hour later at weekends...!!!

Nova, good luck tonight...

novacane how is ds doing with the new routine?

well its fallen flat on its arse.

Hes started waking in the night for hours, simply because hes not had any milk before bed and hes hungry.
Tried alsorts of big boys cup sippy cup, and I even bought a bottle as near as I could to his old one today, he won't have any of it. not even when hes starving. Its cost us a bloody fortune and i'm pissed off.
Have tried everything tonight, different cups, bottle, cup with straw, weetabix, even hot maltesers drink to see if that would tempt him and hes just being a whingy bum and refusing everything.
I nearly got angry but just counted to ten and put him in bed. he's in a contrary mood because he had to have a certain lamp on (even though its still lightish), and when I said na night he went bonkers- he doesn't usually bother at first. Well, hes going to get a shock tonight, he can whine all he likes I'm NOT in the mood.

He will be up by 2am, hungry and still wont have his bottle or anything. I'm soo weary and tired (how did I manage it when he was a baby?, I suppose I didnt work then), and at a loss what to do. Ive opened a bottle of red and I know i'm going to regret it when 2am comes- I don't even have a DP that will share getting up in the night or get up with him in the morning- [que sarcasm] 'he works hard you see', well so do bloody I AND get up in the night AND do ALL the housework AND do all the washing AND entertain/educate/probably annoy DS. (oh God thats a wgole other story for a different time)

Sorry whinge over, im off to drown myself in red wine, so I can't hear the whining!!

Nova x

Oh dear, poor you. I found even when I was fairly drunk, I still had absolute clarity of hearing/consciousness when it came to ds crying during the night What is his game then? He is being defiant isn't he. Naughty boy. What's the next tactic then? More wine? at your dh, not on at all.

A little update... Ds has finally decided to accept his new bottle so at least we are getting a full night's sleep. Im nearly 100% positive hes going to sleep late because he doesn't need his 2 hr nap anymore- so today I have kept him up, and yep, you've guessed it, hes fast asleep in bed and has been since 7.30pm. I just hope he doesn't think this is his nap tho- anyone got an ideas what to do if he wakes up? Is he likely to sleep through now?
I can handle getting up at 6am instead of the usual 8am- I would love that just to get my evenings back...

But how on earth do you get things done like cleaning/making tea/ironing done if DC's don't nap??? Now I'm REALLY scared!! lol
Answers on a postcard please!

Nova xx

There must be a clinical name for the "OMG - how do I cope when toddler no longer naps!" syndrome. Ashamed to say, but cbeebies helps me get the day to day stuff done at home . DD3 (2yrs 8m) also likes to 'wash up' ie: kneel on chair at sink for water play with plastic cups etc. Keeps her happy and in sight while tea gets cooked but do have to mop up after though. In the end, the rewards of a good bedtime routine far outweigh those few nap hours during the day. Keep going Nova!

Oh good. Please let us know if it works out. Regarding housework, I had to get ds to accept that it has to be done. As soon as he started walking I got him to help me so that he felt included in what I was doing (eg unloading the dishwasher). He adores the hoover though tends to air hoover or wall hoover so I humour him for a bit, then intervene. Sometimes he moans and wants my full attention but I stop then and play with him for a bit. It seems that boys are not as good at solitary play as girls so they want us as their playmate too. If the routine works out, I think you'll find that having your evenings back more than compensates for doing the housework in peace. Good luck

WAHOOO ladies.. not a whisper till 7.30am this morning... 12 whole hours.. I had to keep chescking on him to make sure he was still alive!
You know when you wake up and get that feeling- I had to rush in to see if he was OK. Im so chuffed- it seems that a combination of good routine and no sleep in the day has worked!
Thankyou guys for all your valuable advice youve made my quality of life increase 10 fold!

Hes not tired AT ALL this afternoon and clearly doesn't need a nap. It seems that he needed sleep in the aft because he wasn't getting enough sleep at night.

Hes going to Grandads in an hour tho (one hour drive) so will probably sleep in the car- but it doesnt matter cos I know I can get it back to normal on Monday no problems....

Cheers guys,
Nova x

Well done Nova - well done your ds too

Have just spent 15 minutes reading this entire thread because I have exactly the same situation. Ds definitely does better when he doesn't have a nap. If I needed any more convincing, last night was it. Ds was doing "quiet time" in his room while mommy took a nap (first trimester exhaustion) and he fell asleep. I was horrified when I realized and, sure enough, he was up until almost midnight. Looks like I need to make sure he has something "exotic" to eat beforehand to make sure he stays awake. What a great idea

I'm so pleased Nova. Long may it continue Actually dh and I have only just got our evenings back and now we're thinking about baby number 2. Are we masochists or what?!!