Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

[Suchanamateur]

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

I don't believe in rods for backs. I think its all twaddle invented to make you feel crap just as you thought you had worked out a way of dealing with life. It's only a problem if it's a problem for you.

I feed at night if dd wants it as she doesn't have any milk while I'm at work so I figure she probably needs it. I also co-sleep, not because I have any illusions that it makes her sleep better but because I'm buggered if I'm getting out of bed 6 times a night.

Ah, PoppyAmex...the osteopath. We tried that too. I was hugely skeptical beforehand and my position remains as unchanged as DS's sleeping habits. Seriously, I hope it works for you but the 'science' is questionable (though harmless).

I'm trying to nightwean and he's going from 6:30/7 until 11/midnight without a feed, but he's still waking up just as much (around three or four times) in that time. After midnight...well...by that time I'm a basket case and it's me and DS into the spare bedroom and a boob in his face whenever he squeaks. I get more sleep after midnight but I'm getting him to start the night in his cot in the outrageous vain naive hope that he might gradually go for longer stretches there and ultimately stay. I suppose I could try and bite the bullet and settle him in his cot the entire night but I just don't really see the point because all I'm succeeding in doing is getting less sleep myself. Lordy knows it's not improving his.

suchanamateur No hate, just deep empathy. You get a plan, you screw your courage to the sticking place and....DC gets sick. You start a plan, you start getting somewhere....DC gets sick, and you feel like World's Greatest Mummy for doing sleep training with a baby who was coming down with something. We did CC with DS for a week, then stopped when he was diagnosed with a chest infection. (Un)fortunately we had made no progress to undo, but I felt like a total bee-atch. I initially started nightweaning this time with a view to doing CC once he wasn't feeding anymore at night but I just can't bring myself to do it again, as I can just see the 9 month sleep regression/separation anxiety/teeth undoing it completely.

My tune may be changed once again when I'm back at the coal face. We'll see.

Night night all.

*World's Greatest Mummy was irony, by the way, in case the sleep training police are watching and start sending me hate PMs.

Last night we got a stretch of 6.45pm-12am, woohoo! Then further wake-ups at 2, 4.30, and 6.10, after which he decided he was up for the day. SIGH. He had feeds at all of those and was definitely hungry at the 12am and 2am wake-ups. I think the other two were down to teething pain. After midnight cuddles don't seem to work and he always wants a bf.

Congratulations ballroom! That's over 5 hours in one go. You win the special gold star for baby sleepingness. :o

I'm going to have a bath now. It's going to be amazing!

Wow! Five uninterrupted hours is the official, scientific definition of 'sleeping through the night'! You can now be all smug when people ask, 'Does he sleep through the night?' 'Why, yes,' you can reply, 'Yes, he does.'

Elphaba - wouldn't worry. They'll be too busy sending them to me.

Ah my fellow sleepless zombies, glad I found you!

Dd2 is 10.5 months and since she started teething at 6 months she has not slept through once (but at least she did before unlike her older sister who didn't until 22 months when I stopped bfing).

Last night she fed at 8, 9.30, 11.30, 2.30 and didn't settle till 3.45, then 5.30, 6 and then slept till 9.30 this morning.

Feel bad for 3.5 year old dd1 as she is a complete chatterbox, but all I am capable of first thing is feeding them then staring blankly into space for an hour before I tackle the ever increasing backlog of household chores.

At least the kinect for the xbox arrived today so I can let dd1 tire herself out using that tomorrow.

Howdy Stitch. Pull up a beanbag.

Co-sleeping from 9:15 tonight - I jinxed myself by saying he's in his cot until midnight. He's wanted boob and no solids all day, though, so maybe those four teeth which have been bulging out if his top gums for weeks may finally be about to show themselves.

Night night all. Again.

Congratulations came too soon! Has been awake screaming since 9.15. Has nodded off on my shoulder twice but screaming has commenced as soon as he's gone back in the cot.

Hooray ballroom, did you manage to get some good sleep in that five hour stretch? My problem is getting to sleep early enough to make the most of the pre midnight sleep (or pre 2am, which is when DH is on duty until).

elphaba I am in awe, especially of the batch cooking: DS will be eating pouches and cobbled together meals for the first few weeks I'm back at week I'm sure! Enjoy the spa!

such, maybe after illness ends it won't be square one but you can pick up and DD will continue getting better . Either way hope she gets better soon, don't beat yourself up over cc or cold turkey - we all know it's not something you do lightly.

Thanks blossom. If it makes you feel any better, DD pretty much lives on squeezy tubes and Im on a career break with no immediate prospect of return to work. Has backfired a bit though as I realised she pretty much won't eat anything out of non squeezy so have to pretend to squeeze food out - like baked beans, peas and even the occasional tangerine segment. Good thing she hasn't reached the 'Mummy is pulling the wool over my eyes milestone' or I'd be fucked. Couldn't make her sleep worse though..

such my DS likes to suck the food out himself, I am sure this is very bad for him somehow but can't bring self to ask anyone. I try to view it as BLW - he just chucks the half eaten pouch on floor if he's full/finished so I know when he's done...

Oh, pouches...a little bit of me dies whenever I give those to DS almost daily, because commercial baby food was one of the many things I was 'never going to do'.

The list of things I was never going to do, but have, is lengthening hourly...

• BFing on demand (I was going to feed on schedule...)
• Co-sleeping (never, ever, said I...but last night DS slept from 9:15 until 1:30 thanks to its babycalming wonders)
• Eating a meal while holding onto baby (if he kicked off I would EAT and let him SCREAM so he'd LEARN...yyyyeah...got over that one quick)
• Similarly, I would never eat and BF at the same time (ha!)
• I was going to avoid BFing in public at all costs and preferably never do it (my boobs are now a more common sight in our town centre than the No. 7 Circle Route bus).

Anyone else?

I was never going to use the TV/ iPhone as a babysitter. Ha bloody ha. My DS is on first name terms with every CBeebies character
I was never going to let my baby cry :(. (Although she did sleep 5.30 - 5.40am last night, albeit with about four wakes in the early part if the night. Brought her into bed and got another half hour this morning- praying this huge amount if sleep for her will have put the kibosh on whatever she was brewing. Wishful thinking.)

I got about 2 hours during his five hour stretch. I'm terrible at going to bed early, always feel like I'm wasting the evening!

I was never going to co-sleep - ended up doing it until 12 weeks because it was the only way DS would actually go to sleep at night. We had to kick him out though because I was getting terrible back pain and he was starting to get too wriggly either to sleep next to or to feed lying down.

Last night not so good in the end - teething again.

With my first I batch cooked, hardly any tv, lots of reading books etc...
Poor Dd2 gets pouches, baby sat by baby Einstein, doesn't sit still during story time anyway ha!

I was also never going to cosleep. Fool! Now if I had another I would just do it from the start and spend the cot money on more cake.

Dd just gets given whatever we are eating. I'm far to lazy to sort out something else just for her so blw by default.

I really wanted to do 'pure' BLW but DS has a stupidly hyper gag reflex and spews prolifically if faced with having to try and swallow too much 'normal' food. I keep purées to a minimum and I'm plugging on with textures to try and desensitise him but he managed to chunder over not one but both dogs a few days ago. I'd totally forgotten about it, and hadn't washed them, until mum moaned at me about the dogs smelling mysteriously of vomit Short-term memory = major casualty of this sleeping 'issue'.

Les Mis movie was bloody brilliant. I cried like a girl

3rd wake up as already, and she's only been in bed 2 hours. It's going to be a long night...

For what its worth their most important bit of blw for me is letting them choose what and how much they eat. I think them eating what is right for them is the best thing and if that's soft puree stuff then so be it. People get really obsessed by the whole finger foods business when the book really emphasizes then self feeding IMHO and says loading spoons is fine. I do wish people would stop talking like all babies are the same.

I was also never going to co-sleep (doing this every night now) or give jars of baby food. Ella's Kitchen (we should have shares) is technically pouches tho not jars... Am SAH at the mo so no excuse. Did make him macaroni cheese and broccoli for tea tho and he loved it. Yay!!! Has made sod all difference to night waking so far unsurprisingly.

Totally agree with you on weaning hear, people can get a bit cultish about blw but I think it's just as 'baby led' if you find they can manage purees better so you help them to help themselves to those, iyswim. We do a mix of finger food and fork mash and pouches depending on what seems easiest at mealtime.

I can't really remember what I planned to do before I had DS. Read lots on mat leave while doing feeds: but then I discovered MN. And the joys of napping while feeding in my side. Those were the days, when he just lay there eating instead of clawing at my face.

Do remember judging a lady on the bus who was ignoring her DC (maybe 1yo) to play on phone when DS was about 4/5 weeks. Once he is older, I thought, I will talk to him and interact, not play on phone. Now if he isn't screaming on the bus I relish chance to sit and stare into middle distance and zone out.

Last night was both good and bad - just one real waking between 8pm and 6am but it lasted about an hour and a half and involved a lot of false sleeps where I thought he'd settled and began to relax in own bed only to be dragged out by a scream. And I didn't get to sleep til about 11.30, so I didn't feel too refreshed at 6. Own fault, but takes me a while to wind down after he goes to sleep.

Happy 300th post!

While slightly OT, does anyone have any good Calpol/vitamin drops administration tips? DS just screams and spits most of the stuff out. Off a spoon is a complete non-starter so we use the syringe. I hardly ever give him the vitamin drops because it seems like a great deal of upset for him and me, only to have most of it end up down the front of what he's wearing. On the other hand, I'd rather he didn't get rickets

I know what you mean blossombath about not being able to wind down. You lie there on a knife edge for at least half an hour waiting for them to wake up again because it's so much worse being woken up when you've just gone to sleep! I also relate to what someone said upthread about creaky floor boards. I dodge up the hallway like there's landmines once I've got DS asleep in the cot.

My dp is the master of medicine administration in this house. We don't do vitamins as I think that the advantage of bf is that she will take what she needs from me...is this right?

We use the boots paracetamol (calpol gives dd terrible tummy problems) which comes with the big syringes and dp kind of squirts a bit of the medicine at a time into dd's cheek. If she gets dribbly he pops a dummy in after each squirt. The boots ibuprofen is easy though as she loves the taste and practically sucks it out of the syringe. :o

Also agree about the long wake ups. I would rather dd woke a few times but settled quickly than woke once but took hours to settle. Its just so draining when they won't settle and getting to sleep afterwards is so hard.