Misery loves company: anyone want to join me on a support thread for those desperate and demoralised by their 8/9/10 mo sleep?

[Suchanamateur]

Bloody sleep regression. It's like 4 months all over again but worse because it felt (briefly) like we were getting somewhere. Feck. Anyone else want to share tales of woe or is it (a) just me or (b) way too depressing to post about..?

just found this thread again, as I'd fallen off it.

DH has been working late the past few nights, till 1am, so I've been on my own with both kids. DS actually sleeping really well, but I've been lying with the lower half of my body in my bed, and the top half in my DD's cot so I can feed feed feed her for hours

DH is home this evening and the poor man has been cast out of the living room to sit with her and rock her, shush her etc to sleep. Getting her to sleep isn't so much the issue as getting her to actually STAY ASLEEP.

Please, DD, please! She's 9 months now and in teething pain, but still no teeth.

Evening all. I have had the oddest thing happen today and I really don't know what to make of it.

The back story is that I currently have bite wounds on both breasts. I got one some time ago and it just won't heal so i've been favouring the other one and of course now that breast is torn to bits. In a fit of desperation I thought I would try a nipple shield just to cover over where the bite is for a few days so it had a chance to heal. So I tried it this afternoon. Dd got as far as putting her mouth on for a feed before pulling off and giving the most horrified look I had ever seen. Really, I didn't think it was possible for a 14 month old to convey such a sense of utter betrayal in one look.

This was about 4pm and since then she has gone into full breast refusal mode. Even her bed time feed was refused and she went to sleep without one. The way she is acting you would think I had attached spikes to my nipples! After refusing both her afternoon and bedtime feeds she has not fed since 6am. I am a bit flabbergasted, especially since she is now sleeping.

Argh! Babies are crazy!

They're not supposed to self-wean before 18 months usually, are they? Probably just a nursing strike on account of mum being a Cheeky Mare. Skin to skin and feeding while sleepy were what sorted DS's nursing strike out when he was much smaller, but then he was still EBF so getting it resolved was rather more imperative.

Nipple shields were one of the many things I tried to convince DS to take a bottle. He put his mouth over it, sunk his gums into it, yanked it off, spat it out and carried on as usual. Suffice it to say, the intended goal wasn't achieved.

Well, she is terribly advanced :o

She had a feed at 3am after much screaming and fussing but nothing since then. We shall see. I've sort of decided I'm going to offer at the usual times and if she seems keen but otherwise not push it. feeding has been really painful since she started getting top teeth and her latch goes to pot whenever she's teething resulting in repeat bite wounds which are horrid. She seems happy enough today and nursery said she has been in a really good mood. I had planned to feed until she was at least 2 and then probably till she self weaned but the best laid plans and all.

At least its given my current wounds a chance to heal a bit :)

Hello ladies :)

Sorry for dropping off the thread-was busy painting,painting and painting and then more painting the router has broken down so no internet or was lucky to get a few minutes on DH's phone.

Elphaba I still go to my baby group which is bf support group-a couple of babies have weaned themselves not long after mothers had introduced the solids.I was a bit surprised to hear that but I spoke to both mums and scenario was the same-they took less and less of breastmilk and one day just declined it completely.

Little monkeys,aren't they(re: biting)?Happy to bite you,not happy if you defend yourself with nipple shields.DS bit me a couple of times on purpose,I tapped him on the cheek and sharply said "no".Bottom lip came up as usual when he's not happy.He never didi it again on purpose but accidentally clamped his teeth while falling asleep.Ouuuuuch!

Last weekend DS has moved to his room and still wakes up at least 3 times at night-I go everytime I hear him crying and feed him sitting on the chair.It's quite difficult because I have to stay awake to not to drop him.Previously when he was in our bedroom I used to scoop him to our bed,lie down and fall asleep with him attached to my boob.I was woken up one night by a thumping sound-that was DS falling out of bed and landing on the floor.Excellent example of lousy bad parenting

I'm back to work next week,looking forward to it but dreading it at the same time.

Off I go,hopefully will manage to catch up with you a bit more often :)

poppy sounds like my dd at the same age as yours when I was pregnant with the twins. I was at my wits end, but as i said, all over, and she slept, within two days of the boys being home from the hospital.

Not getting any sleep here, due to Dt1. However Dt2 has slept through for a week now. What a star. I mean proper 7-7 sleeping where he doesn't need me at all. Except last night but his bloody brother woke him (from a different room, but boy can he scream) so that doesn't count.

Maybe I'll forget the night weaning then, though I'm a bit worried about teeth rotting... If I do it and sleep is no better I'll kick myself!!

Come on babies, we are near the end of the thread, surely one of you should reform for good measure?? please let it be mine

Oh, and lime I dropped Dt1 out of our bed onto the floor twice in one week a while ago, waking to the "bump" "waaah!" And once I had hold of the toe end of his sleeping bag so definitely a head impact....

Dreaming you don't need to worry about teeth rotting for a BF baby feeding at night. The mechanics of BFing means that the milk avoids the teeth completely, unlike a bottle, which is why dentists don't like bottles being used after 12 months of age.

Well, I've had recommendation #348 to give DS sedative antihistamines to make him sleep this week 'to get him into a routine', this time from my boss at work because I look like (and I quote) I've had the life drained out of me. Yay. It does make me wonder how many people drug their babies. I do confess that while DS had chicken pox I got a bit excited at the thought of asking the GP to prescribe him Piriton (he was under 12 months at the time) to stop the itching, but unfortunately the itching stopped fairly quickly and I didn't get to find out if there were any sedative side effects. But loading him up on sedatives for the primary and sole purpose of making him sleep? No thanks.

Hello all fellow sleepless ladies.

Lost you for a while, but found you again.

Haven't had time to read back yet, but can see you are all still here so commiserations.

Don't fancy whisky in the milk then Elphaba? Or maybe it is better used medicinally for yourself

No change here, 1 premolars through, another 3 part way. Sleep still thin on the ground, got 3 hours broken two nights ago. Haven't fallen off the mo' fo' yet!

Elphaba could you do that?Even sometimes?
Stitch how many times I thought of whisky for DS strictly for medicinal purposes only --just to smear the gums.One of the ladies told a story(obviously from years ago) when parents couldn't get their baby to sleep so gave him a few drops of whisky.The result was opposite:baby standing in the cot holding onto the rail grinning and yapping like mad.

DS is teething as well(so I keep saying),I wouldn't be surprised if canines are coming as he's got big bulges on his gums in this places.Mind you,he's had them for a while.He's dosed on calpol permanently to bring his fever down-last night it was 39.8 degrees C so quite high.He's usual chirpy self,eating alrightish,drinking and pooping,just the fever.

Dreaming my deepest sympathy to you-will your little buggers darlings ever synchronise?

Here have a and hope for better sleep...

I will admit that I gave him camomile tea once before bed. Didn't work.

Just dropping in to say i went out, as in out of the house. Without a single child with me. In the evening , with some fellow multiple mummies. We all drank like fish, and I laughed til my face hurt. Got home for midnight to my screamer in the buggy in the hall, and I can confirm bf while pretty pissed did not help Dt1 sleep. Plus 5 is now the morning, every bloody morning. FFS.

Teeth. Such a stupid design. elph a paediatric specialist dentist (aquaintance not someone I saw professionally for my dc) to front teeth decay can be bf. She advised me about 6 months ago at least to brush teeth after milk feeds and to night wean, though she did say its not the majority, but also definitely not unheard of. Not as easy as that though is it?!

Well, I'd best get to bed ready for my 5 am 'morning'

Good luck for the night everyone. And i an a quivering wreck at the thought of the mmr, for both babies, on Tuesday. If it messes up Dt2's new found good sleeping I may lose it...

*decay to back of front teeth can be bf related. That should have said...

Dreaming thanks for the ray of hope; it's very appreciated.

I hope your MMR goes well, I was shitting myself too but DD sailed through with no side effects thank god.

Don't often ask this, but... how are your boobs Hear, are you fully recovered?

I'm currently in the process of getting someone to make customised wood shutters for the nursery so I can.... .... move DD to her room.

We've got MMR next week - quite excited, actually, as the best night's sleep DS ever had was after the second round of jabs. He only woke up once, never to be repeated again. I live in hope that each new round of jabs will have the same effect.

Staying out until midnight sounds exhausting! We're going down to London to see a matinee then coming back the same day next month. I don't know what's worrying me more - the GPs trying to get DS asleep (hahahahaha! Yyyyeah, good luck with that...) or us not getting home until after 10pm as I will be paralytic with fatigue, since I'm usually asleep by around 8pm in preparation for my five million wake-ups. Good to hear you enjoyed yourself though, Dreaming.

Oh, and I shall start brushing DS's teeth after every milk feed forthwith

Glad you had a good night out dreaming I haven't drunk any alcohol since dd was 4 months as I can't cope with being woken in the night when I'm pissed. I think when she has done a week of sleeping through the night I shall buy a big bottle of wine and get well and truly drunk :o

Dd has decided I learned my lesson after what shall henceforth be known as shieldgate and is back on the boob. Unfortunately she wasn't off long enough for them to heal so I still have bite wounds in both breasts. I'm hoping that lots of lansinol and careful latching will help. Not sure what else I can do really. I've tried different positions but its still sore. :(

Ooh, bitten boobies Poor you, Hear!

On a slightly unrelated topic, I do a lot of batch cooking so that, in my exhausted state, I can just chuck something from fridge or freezer directly into the oven when I get home from work during the week. We had this tonight and apart from being incredibly comfort-food tasty, it was the perfect consistency for DS to perfect his newly-acquired spoon-feeding skills. He's refusing entirely to let us feed him now that he's (sort of) worked out how to load a spoon and bring it to his mouth, but it still needs just the right level of sticky gloopiness to adhere to the spoon and end up in his mouth, not down his chest. This fits the bill and is rather tasty to boot. You carnivorous types could probably add ham to it I'd imagine.

Night night...for now.

yeah, but it's incredibly full of super-yummy but banned dairy elph... I'm tempted to stop bf just to eat as much as possible and not feel guilty AT ALL. Hate to say it but dt1 is better on his current dairy, soya and egg free regime...

Into night 2 of no dh. Come home!!!!! Blooming stressful at night with both boys crying and no dh. ALready fed dt1 3 times and its only 11pm. FFS. Plus everyone and his dog (inc dietician though kind of indirectly- " you know most women just do 12 months?" "you know its nutritionally not necessary?" ARGH!) have told me I should be stopping bf...

One wonders what they they think will happen when you remove the night time comfort of boob from your twins dreaming? Do they actually think they will sleep more? Ha, maybe they would like to come and deal with two screaming toddlers?

We are away so sleep has gone to pot. Staying at a relatives house. They have no baby proofing, large amounts of breakable items, DH is not here and dd2 is running wild. I haven't been to the loo on my own for two days as she has to come with me wherever I go. Aargh.

Hello my sleepy friends! How are we all doing?

Over the past few days dd has touched on amazingness. She once Slept Through The Night, which was exciting. Unfortunately we are back to the usual crapness again last night. Oh well

Oops Sorry Dreaming and Hear! Forgot about your dairy-free DCs. Yay Baby Roar on STTN!

We did night one of gradual retreat last night. Hate. It. He only woke up twice between 7pm and 5:45am but God, the screaming Twenty minutes on the first wake up then an hour on the next one. I've gone cold-turkey on the night feeds and I think I've got mastitis yet again.

DH said this morning 'we're doing the right thing'. I said, 'Not for DS we're not. We're only doing this for me because I'm not coping.' Well, I got a lecture about how it is the right thing for DS because he's got me wrapped around his little finger, he has to be taught how to sleep, DH will have no more sympathy for me if I back out now just because I've got this notion that it's not the right thing for DS...

Fuck, he's lucky I feel like fifty shades of shit with a hot boob because otherwise he probably would have witnessed physical violence.

Can I also add that he was at the rugby until midnight last night so when he said 'we' are doing the right thing, he wasn't actually here for round one of the whole hideous process?

Ugh. Miserable. Feel like shit.

Just jumping back on the thread as I need it with my incredibly-bouncy-never-needs-sleep DD.

Elphaba it is sooo tough listening to your baby scream for boob when you go cold turkey, been there.

I agree with your DH actually that you are doing the right thing for both you and DS, because if you are exhausted to the point for dropping down you will not be able to give ds the same quality contact time as if you were well rested with lots of energy.

It may not feel like it right now, but in a few weeks once you are both sleeping more and the screaming has reduced, you will feel like a new woman.

One thing though, if you DH is so keen for it to work he should be the one going in and offer only water. Your DS does not associate him with boob so it will help him make the transition more easily. Took under a week with dd1 when we did this.

Hope your mastitis clears up quickly.

Oh elph that sounds horrible! However, if you can't cope then doing the right thing for you is probably also the right thing for your ds. Not because he has you wrapped round his little finger (what tosh, he is a baby for heaven's sake!) or even because he needs to learn how to sleep (I firmly believe they do work it out on their own eventually...) but simply because he needs a mum who can cope with life and isn't too exhausted from being up all night to enjoy being with him the rest of the time.

Though saying that you need a solution that works for you, whether that is cc, gradual retreat, or riding that mo fo out. Its no good if the cure leaves you more stressed than the problem.

Oh, and in my opinion your dh lost any right to an opinion on the matter when he pissed of out and left you to deal with it alone. So he can sod right off with his ultimatums!

Humph! Well, that's my unasked for 'tuppence worth on the matter :o