High Needs Baby Support Group (thread IV)

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

Yoohooo! Over here!

The last thread was filling up so I've started us a sparkling new one.

The original thread was to support those of us with babies fitting the following criteria:

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

Some of our babies have grown out of some of those now, but we're still here to support each other through the sleepless nights and noisy car journeys and to offer hugs, chocolate and wine to anyone who's struggling.

So if that list sounds familiar then come and join us as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

Hi everyone, I've been on holiday this week - haven't been away but thought I'd have a break from the Internet and do the other things which have been piling up - the house is very clean for once and I've even had the sewing machine out, I could get used to being a lady of leisure!

DS has moved into the next room at his nursery and I'm not happy with it - he's been assigned a new keyworker randomly and it just happens to be someone he doesn't like. She used to cover his previous room on a Friday and everytime we handed him over to her he cried hysterically. He still cries when she's around which is horrible for us to see - she wasn't in yesterday and he didn't cry at all. They have also been lying to us about what he's eating, how much he's sleeping and he keeps coming home in other nappies and without his clothes. I've been to look at another nursery already, I'm not sure if it's a knee jerk reaction but I feel like the trust has gone with the current one :(

Hope you're feeling ok Joyful - there are a few antidepressants which are safe to use when breastfeeding (sertraline, citalopram, fluoxetine off the top of my head) - there's always the breastfeeding network helpline to discuss medications? They've been v helpful when I've called them before.

Hildebrand glad your DD has been eating better, that must be a relief. Your DH sounds like he needs a big kick up the arse!

raspberry well done on picking a CM, I found my anxieties about going to work almost disappeared once I'd picked a nursery. They settle in much better than you think they're going to!

tickle love the new name, hope baby tickle is still sleeping well :)

daisy my teeth seemed to crumble when I was pregnant too, I had to go to the dentist at least once a month for my entire pregnancy and until my maternity exemption ran out - ended up with a root canal and about 8 replacement fillings as they just kept dropping out!

Joyful Hope you're feeling better.

Spanner Hello! :) and hope you find a nursery you are happier with.

My grumble - having had my day off this week, I am so so torn. I'm a bit lost at home without adult company - but DD has been so pathetically limpet like, and exhausted that I am totally convinced that childcare is not for her. But I cannot leave until Christmas :(

Glad to hear that you are felling a little better Joyful - I can really sympathize! It sounds like you are struggling with chronic pain, sleep deprivation and hard economic circumstances - none of which are good for mental health. I think that even the impact of one of those things would be a major stress - never mind all three.

I have a depression / anxiety history as well but have never been able to find relief through medication. Tried many times, but was either ineffective, had terrible side effects, and in a few frightening cases made things worse. My usual remedies are meditation, gentle exercise, getting out to socialize, doing creative stuff and gardening when the weather is nice. All well and good but a bit tricky with high need DD as it's near impossible to get the me time necessary to really work on it. Trying to adapt with walks, singing while DD is in sling, seeing people when I can, and doing a quick 20 minutes of meditation during one of DD's catnaps.

I'm doing a bit better with the co-sleeping anxiety. When we first started trying it around 12 weeks I couldn't relax at all and would have terrible, terrible nightmares about waking up to the unthinkable - and I would be so tired I wouldn't realize it was just a dream. It was dreadful. But now I'm doing a bit better. It's just murder on my back. I've tried 5 pillows for support as Dr Sears recommends, but wake up after an hour with a crick in my neck and shooting pains in my sacroiliac joint.

DD will be 6 months next week...can hardly believe it!

I had massive anxiety issues as well as previous depression problems. I wonder if there's a link between high needs babies and depression-prone mothers?

Going back to DD and the childminder - DP is convinced she just needs to get used to it and is fine and happy there. And she is happy enough I suppose - but I can see that she's stressed when I pick her up so...?

No, no...still here! Just impossible to post on crappy Android phone while feeding DD. You let it out Joyful, it's therapeutic! Glad to know you can feel like this is a safe place to voice these things, especially with little RL support.

Preparing for the long night ahead...

Count me in with the anxiety and depression... Under control mostly now though. Joyful I know I do this a lot, but sending big You've certainly been through some stuff haven't you. You're so strong.

Well I've just looked ay myself in the mirror this morning after yesterday's scorcher. We took DS to a fun day at a children's centre. He was creamed up, hat on, under a parasol. Me? Oh no, I forgot me... cue major lobsterage...! It's calmed right down now, thankfully...

Spanner I'm sorry about your nursery shenanigans! :( That doesn't sound very good at all. I hope you find somewhere lovely, I wouldn't be happy either. The staff at DS's old nursery got a bit of a bollocking from their managers when we decided to take him out. He was the youngest by far in there - they said they would follow our routine for him, but all the other kids in there were just having one nap a day, and he to this day still needs two - but he was kind of having to keep up with the older children :( So I don't think they cared for him as well as they promised they would when we chose them to look after him. The managers were so cross with the room staff! He was so tired and irritable and came down with bug after bug. So glad he's out of there. I think we'll go the childminder route next time...

It's D-Day tomorrow. And by 'D' I mean, yes, the dreaded dentist

I'm still here too! You definitely haven't scared me away Joyful. For the limited time I've been on here i can gather you are a brilliant mum and very caring.

I haven't been about much as found out my nan only has days/weeks left to live- she's had terminal cancer for 3 years and it's finally spreading everywhere we are meant to be going to Cornwall tomorrow- not sure what we are going to do but I'm probably not going to be posting much over the next week or so.

I hope to catch up with everyone properly when life less maniac. Am typing on phone so can't namecheck properly...

Hope you're all enjoying your weekends. Right DD woken from nap so got to go...

Moan alert:

DREADFUL night last night. If I said she woke 20 times I'd be underestimating... then on to today and I'm fucking reeling and she doesn't nap.

Has a few quiet moments, but no nap.

Until 6pm! Wakes at 7pm ready to party,

She has JUST gone to sleep and I have to be up at 6.30.... grr