pfb 5week old in cotbed in his own room...

[NameOfTheNick]

Am I. Bad mummy for doing this?
We have had a very grumpy baby last 2 nights where he wakes, has a feed, is still sleepy/asleep when put back down in his.crib in our room then wakes up straight away and starts crying and will not settle until he's picked up and then he closes his eyes then the whole cycle starts all over again with nobody getting Any hint of sleep.
So half hour ago I put him in his cotbed after feeding him and he's settled straight down even though he was semi awake and he's just gone straight to sleep.
Now I've had it drummed into me since being pregnant that baby needs to be in same room for first.6 months to help prevent sids, so now I'm panicking that he prefers the big cotbed in his own room to the crib in our room.

What do I do?

both my DC were in their own room from birth in their own cot. It was fine, we all got to sleep and now at 2 and 6 my DC are fab sleepers and sleep from 8pm to 8am.

what has their sleeping habits now got to do with it? is there some implication being thrown in that keeping you baby in your room for 6 months makes it more likely to be a crap sleeper? because otherwise I can't see the relevance! (DS sleeps 8-8 too and pretty much always has done, unless ill, since going in his own room AFTER 6 months)

If people are implying that putting your tiny baby in its own room means a better sleeping child later on I am not buying it!

how is it even comming into this anyway?

do it, don't do it, but don't go implying rubbish like that if you comply with the 6 month thing you are making some sort of rod for your back re. sleeping years later! its not true.

Monkeymoma I said exactly the same thing a few posts ago. I am not sure why we are talking about sleeping habits as it is irrelevant. I hope expectant or new mums do not read this thread and decide to move their babies out in the hope they will sleep better.

spiky much monkey? twas a general comment tis all. No inference at all that babies sleeping in other situations are worse sleepers, just that a cot from birth is fine.

Ok, my son sleeps for 11 hours each night (ie 8-7), having been in with us for the first six months and then six years in his own. My daughter sleeps for 12 hours each night (7-7), but has never slept on her own (with foster carers for 15 months then 8 months sharing with DS). My point? Their sleeping arrangements as tiny babies has bugger all to do with how they sleep when they're older.

oh dear another can o worms, and I don't really give a shit as my DC are 2&6. I was just trying to help the OP, before other folk arrived with their own agenda. Chill Out

Funnys A cot from birth is statistically more likely to result in cot death. Your anecdotal blurb about your two kids is irrelevant, really.

PullUp there was no anecdotal evidence. I just said I did this with my two. Not they are fine etc. Just that I did it. C'est tout, no more discussion required.

Funny mentioning it in the same sentance is implying some sort of connection

I don't actually care about people who have ALREADY done this, its done and you're not going to change your minds (obv hope it all works okay, don't wish to be proven right on this!), I am thinking of those who are reading who have yet to make their minds up, its worth correcting the tripe for them! I don't expect you to go back in time and re-do your kids babyhood! But hope that you haven't sewn a seed in anyones mind about rods and backs!

monkey you are imagining that I said rods and backs in the same sentence. I don't care what you or anyone else did. You are rather projecting here I think.

All I said is what I did and it was fine. Not with the backdrop of anything. Just that what we did was OK for us.

oh and how is it 'tripe' to let your DC sleep in their own room from birth?

You told an anecdote, it was anecdotal. Because it was anecdotal, it is meaningless in relation to risk. Your previous outcome has no relation to future outcomes.

i'm not imagining anything, you more or less said that yours were in their own rooms from small and are fantastic sleepers now in the same sentance

that implies a connection, I don't care if you intended it or not I just wanted to question it before someone who hasn't made their mind up reads it thinking there might be something in it, when there isn't!

I'm not interested in convincing you, you've already made your choices

rightho monkey. I answered an OP with my experience.

"oh and how is it 'tripe' to let your DC sleep in their own room from birth?"

well twisty mc twistington, I would have thought it was pretty clear that the tripe I was referring to was connecting the fact that your children sleep through years later with the fact they didn't share a room with you up to 6 months

No-one said you don't have the right to tell your anecdotes, you have the right to say whatever you want.

"rightho monkey. I answered an OP with my experience"
and where did the OP ask anything connected with the sleeping habits of 2 and 6 year olds? YOU made that connection

then PullUp don't try to discredit my post by dismissing it as anecdotal. Of course it was anecdotal as most posts on here are. This is a parenting forum for people to share their experiences, not a peer review in some scientific journal

Poor OP. Its all gone a bit mad. You are not a bad mum - the fact that you are posting this question and worrying about it proves this. Only you can make this decision. A lot of what has been posted in response has been useful advice. I hope you make a decision that you are comfortable with.

Monkey thanks for positive story. It's damn scary how quickly things can change, one minute they're fine and next they are blue lighted to hospital.

Re sleeping - my dd is 7 months. We have her cot with side down pushed up to bed. This is 3rd. Had all babies in with me. Feels wrong any other way for me

The implication implicit in some posters comments is that if you make the decision that the right thing for your family is for the baby to sleep in their own room, then you are a bad mum. That's not exactly helpful, is it?

PullUp - surely the point of MN is that it is anecdotal? If people weren't allowed to post something that was purely anecdotal, no one would be saying anything? People reading this forum know that. Saying an anecdotal story is irrelevant suggests that the only people who can reply to any post are healthcare professionals and the like?

Mama, I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's baby, hope they get better soon.

Lexies I don't know, is it? Is that all it is, just a collection of anecdotes? Or sometimes do we say, yes loads of people have done that and it has been fine, but really that proves nothing because the facts are this.

And of course it doesn't mean only HCPs can reply, but IMO, one or two people saying my kids didn't die of cot death even though they slept in their own rooms is pretty much irrelevant to whether the OP should or shouldn't follow a course of action. The OP IMO should evaluate the risks and choose for themselves.

I know smoking always crops up in these type of discussions, but I smoked for 15 years and I don't have lung cancer (yet). Does that mean smoking does or doesn't cause lung cancer? It means nothing, it's just a story about me.