High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

It's just too much now. Nearly 11 months of this is finally taking its toll. I know he's not been well recently, but he is much better during the day now, almost back to his old self.

Nights, though, are atrocious. Worse than they've been for a while. Last night he woke about 6 times, and would not settle for DH at all - nothing settles him except the boob. I'm getting so tired of it and am even considering stopping BF. Not exactly the way I wanted our BF relationship to end but I'm just getting to the end of my tether now. Why won't he sleep?! He is more mobile than he's ever been but should he end up on his back at night he cries and cries until he is picked up and fed back to sleep.

I feel so terrible about this. But last night I was close to just walking out of the room and closing the door and letting him sort it out for himself. I've never been closer to doing it. Said I never would or could, but I don't think I can get through much more of this.

Thank you for the hugs, Joyful x

Oh no tickle that sounds horrible... I hope you manage to get some sleep today - does he nap ok during the day?

Joyful - I hope you got a good few hours sleep this morning. Did you have to sit up all night with baby sleeping on you?

My dd was wide awake at 2am - I tried everything to get her back to sleep but she was still wide awake at 3.30! In the end I just put her down in the bed next to me and she actually slept there till 6.20! That is a complete miracle! Never happened before so i'm just going to give co sleeping another go if we have more nights like that.

I hope you all have a good day.

Ooh also wanted to ask... Have any of you done cc? The health visitor said that if her sleep is still bad at 6months then she'll go through how to do it!

I'm not sure I want to try it - any opinions?

I work full time sadly Zambo so not really a chance to catch up on sleep :(

I'd never considered CC until recently. I dont know if ive quite got the heart for it - its always something ive been pretty anti - but perhaps if things dont improve soon it might be one of the options i consider. I wouldn't do it until he's 12 months at least though. Even then it makes me sick to my stomach to actually imagine doing it. But we all desperately need sleep.

You'll have to have a sneaky nap in the toilet then!?!

I was kind of surprised the hv suggested it. I'm really anti it too, I just don't think I could do it. I'm not strong enough & would feel like a terrible parent ignoring the cries! Maybe I'll think differently if this crap sleep continues though. A few of my friends have done it with great success!

Well, last night was pretty good. He woke at 12 for a bottle then at 2 & 4 but just wanted a quick cuddle. As in screaming - pick up - snuggle into my neck - snoring

tickle I was like that on Tuesday night. I feel so ashamed of being so smug when the others all slept beautifully from tinies.

I've no idea what tonight holds. He fell asleep on me at 6 so I popped him into his cot without a murmur. However, he woke howling at 7 and is now busy filching curly fries off dd1's plate whilst watching Murdoch Mysteries with her

Ah sod it. He's happy. Happy baby = happy mummy. In this house anyway!

I'm off to open a bottle of wine. DH is away again like always this w/e so I need to chill a little I think. Am considering sending one of the dds out for chocolate in a bit... Or maybe I could train the dog with one of those St Bernard things round his neck...

Seriously though guys. It WILL get better. I don't know how or when but it will. I promise.

God joyful - you poor thing - I really feel for you. How much sleep per night are you managing?

Button - well done that sounds like a brill night... Let's hope it continues for you.

At a baby group I go to this morning someone was moaning that their 4 month old dd still wakes twice a night for a quick feed! I felt like screaming a little bit... I can only dream about a night where I'm only woken twice!! Ah well like you say things will improve... 1 day!

Dd was wide awake for over an hour during the night - I just don't get it - I'm capping her daytime naps as she was sleeping too much (I think). Anyway I'm rambling on again, sorry!

Chocolate sounds like an excellent plan. I resorted to a glass of wine this evening - and staying up until 8.00 - god what a crazy life I lead!

Good luck for tonight everyone.

It's heady stuff zamboo that staying up til 8 malarkey.

I'm beginning to get a bit worried though. I can't stop feeling like I'm going to cry. I can't stop eating - literally anything and everything. I've been telling myself that I've got to be good but I've managed to put on 2.5lbs. I started sorting the house out but got sidetracked (as I do approx 1000 times a day by perfectly valid things) so now it looks even worse and I can't seem to find the time/energy to do anything about it.

I know things always feel worse when dh is away but as that's not going to change I can't go on feeling like this for long. I also know that there's been a lot going on recently but again, really, that's no different from normal. I think possibly a trip to the gp is called for.

I was on ADs about 4 years ago briefly. I tried to tell people how I felt but I think that because I'm so good at hiding how I feel and putting on my jolly face, my public persona if you like, that nobody believed me. I've always done that though - put on this confident front but really I'm shy and feel like nobody even sees me, like I'm invisible. Nobody remembers me if they've met me before. I'm Mrs Grey - nothing special. I'm great at telling everyone else how to feel better, how to buck up but I can't seem to do it for myself.

Oh well. Friday night - nothing to do til Monday. Best have another glass of wine then. Cos that'll help loads

Oh man. What a whinge.

Oh, being nice has just made me cry . Not really - DH doesn't 'get' depression, he's very much a stiff upper lip type. The only mate I'd really talk to about it is currently on holiday, the selfish cow!

I suggest getting it tatooed on your inner forearm - readily viewable when slapping forehead or tearing hair out etc.

I get to this point so often and then talk myself down from it and then the next time I do I think that I've been really stupid - if only I'd gone to the gp I might not be feeling so rubbish now etc. Which makes me feel worse.

It worked. Thanks.

Button - I agree re. Visit to gp. I too manage to disguise how I feel but do have dark days - sleep deprivation is a real killer. I can see why they use it as a method of torture! To manage 4 dcs is amazing - I'm struggling with 1 baby and a dog!

A friend at baby group said to me today - well at least when you have another baby nothing will be able to shock you as dd has had 'every problem possible'!! I felt a bit sad for dd - made me think they all talk about how much trouble she is! She can be such a happy baby, just needs her sleep sorting out (and she's a rubbish feeder - both milk and what solids I've tried too).

Joyful - I hope we can take your lack of reappearance on the thread as a sign that you are still asleep IN A BED no less!!

Wishing you all happy and sleep-filled nights

Oh dear joyful - hope you are asleep now. Do you get some proper sleep at weekends?

Button - how are you feeling this morning?

I let dd sleep in bed with me from 3 but she woke at 5 - wide awake, no going back to sleep! Before 3 I'd been up with her every hour as usual, but at least from 3 I got 2hrs sleep. Dp has her now, I can hear a lot of crying so think I'll go & see what's happening.

Also I've really hurt my back - don't know how but it's a very annoying, nagging type pain just to brighten my mood!!

Gosh, there's a few going through the mill at the minute! Hugs to you all x.. Button, you know you are right, you've been so strong for so long, it's inevitable that something was gonna give. As usual it's the poor mummy who takes on the biggest strain, and this is the result. I work with several post natal mummies, a little bit of me-time and exercise can really work wonders- try to sort some for the sake of your mental health- its soo important.

Sleep is away to hell here too, you know the drill.... But today is my dd birthday! She's 6 and getting so grown up! We had a girlie shopping day yesterday to get her a new outfit, and we really enjoyed the special time together. Made me realise how caught up I am with the 2 youngest, so I need to make more time with the older two - somehow ---anyone sense the mummy guilt again??

Button GP chat sounds a good idea. Particularly if you've had depression before as you know exactly what you feel like when it hits and what to look out for feelings/behaviour-wise. I hope you are feeling okay today, I really do admire you ladies with other children, I honestly think you are superwomen. One is hard enough for me for the time being.

Hubby has spent the day preparing DS's nursery - we're moving out of the room he's in and into the spare room. It looks beautiful. I'm so chuffed and so proud of my hubs. He's as tired as I an but he's now up in the spare room to get our bed set up (hooray for actually having the bed, rather than a mattress on the floor!) in time for tonight.

I don't have any illusions of DS sleeping any better, but it feels like a tiny step forward... Bit of privacy for DH and I at night will be nice.

Hope all of you are having lovely days. I'm just cooking some lunch and watching Man v Food while DS naps. It's seriously making me want to eat meat. Have been vegetarian for about 8 years but waivering a bit lately. I don't think my diet is particularly great for a vegetarian and perhaps a bit more protein might make me feel more energetic. Who knows... Sure looks yummy though...