A thread for my early waking friends who want a whinge

[fififrog]

A few weeks back there were quite a few of us with DCs about a year old, too young for gro clocks etc waking up TOO BLOOMING EARLY. Where are you all at now? DD seems to be getting earlier. Cough not helping but we had 4.55 this morning. I hate to say it but I actually enjoyed her being ill last week as she slept til 6.30 once. Some mornings I think "just a long phase we can live with it" but this morning I was in total despair. Will I ever be able to make it to 10pm without thinking I will regret staying up this late??! I know some of you will say stick with the messing around with morning nap, it will fix it, but to be honest I don't believe it will and I just want to WHINGE to people who will understand!!

We had nap hell yesterday. DD fell asleep in the car really early for 15 minutes then refused to nap. Aaaarrrrgghh. I didn't know how much I was relying on that nap. Then 4.30am wake-up but was persuaded using controlled crying to go back to sleep for an hour. The problem is that I didn't go back to sleep.

Ladies, you have my every sympathy...yet again.

feeno what bedtime are you doing with one nap?

By the way, have you all tried the baby whisperer forum site? There is quite a lot of good advice on there about early waking. Obviously not good enough though or I wouldn't still be here!

Anyway, much caffeine and love to you over the web.

We do super early bed times to try and counteract OT monster. Tried for 6 yesterday, he was asleep by 6.20 and today he was in bed by 6 again but took him till 6.35 to fall asleep. I've gone back and forth with 1 nap 2 naps for the last two months and I'm determined to stick it out now...I don't know what else to do really, read all the books (inc Ferber and Weissbluth) but nothing in them i didnt already know or try. Ive also checked out BW forum too but nothing doing. The only thing left is keeping him up super late but I'm scared of that too. I've got a feeling he's already OT as it is, which is probably compounding the problem but there has to come a point where his body will need to make up all that lost sleep. I mean he was obviously tired this morning when I finally picked him up after 6 as he was bawling and rubbing his eyes but I'm a bit helpless as nothing works really. In the last 8-9 months though things have gotten progressively worse in that he wakes up for good if it's 4am whereas in the past he'd go back to sleep. Anyway I'm blathering on now. Just so tired and fed up and depressed.

4.35

I think I need help

Feeno IMO bed time around 6 is too early. Have you tried7.30 or 8?

Hi think. Bedtime is at 7.30-8pm on 2 nap days. When he's been on one, because he's been awake from around 4am, I can only manage to keep him going till around 9.30ish. He then wakes about 1.5-2 hours later which means I have to do the early bedtime to avoid OT. I've tried so hard since he was 13 months old to transition him to one nap but he just keeps waking so damn early it's near impossible. Yesterday was 2 nap day as is today. He went to sleep just after 8 only to wake 9.5 hours later at 5.30 or so. He's miserable on such little sleep. He's only ever really happy when he gets that magic 11hours but so bloody elusive. Dunno how to do the one nap thing when he seems chronically overtired and keeps waking so damn early. I wish I could keep him going till 11 or so but he's so tired from missed night sleep. I find if I keep him awake too long in the mornings, his OTness affects the nap making it shorter and then I'm stuffed.

feeno I posted on here before and it's gone :(

Anyway, I suggested getting a sleep specialist to do some work with you. Google and see what you can find in your area. Friends of ours did it for £50 and they said it was the best money ever spent.

Re. the one nap. Start with it at 0930 then push it out by 10 mins every 3 days or so until it's at a more acceptable time.

Good luck for tonight.

I am not sure I can help much, but I'll tell you a bit more how it went with us for the one nap thing. I spent a good couple of weeks forcing her to stay awake - taking her to playgroup to distract her, watching tv even if she really couldn't do anything more, stuff a sandwich down her at about 10.30, nap about 11 then lunch when she woke. After about two weeks I found I could keep her awake til 12, which was great because she was about to move up a room at nursery and they only have one nap at 12.30. During this whole time she was waking about 5.30 on average but often at 5am. At first it felt like we'd never get into a routine and I couldn't believe she could take staying awake til midday, but they just need to get used to it.

I have a friend whose little boy would have his one nap at 10 or so for about 5 months when not at nursery. Another little girl we know sleeps mostly in the morning too. So there's nothing to say you have to keep him up til after lunch.

The one thing I will say which will counteract the "stick consistently to one nap for a while" suggestion is that I do usually give her a half hour in the morning at 9 or 9.30 if she had woken at 4.30 - but that time is pretty rare for us normally coinciding with teeth or illness, it's not currently a habit, though we have had phases of it before.

Interestingly, I have become a little more relaxed about naps since going back to work, because sometimes she will only manage a silly short one at 10 am or something when my mum has her, but she can cope ok. The thing is though we're working from a stable base - when it's all over the shop they do just seem to get wound up don't they and nothing works.

Thanks ladies. meggy I think I know about the £50 sleep consulting service online. I did explain my situation to her and she basically very unempathically told me she couldn't help. I've been working with a sleep specialist from the US and still nothing. The US lady has been far more sympathetic and encouraging me not to give up.
fifi as we did 2 nap days 2 days in a row, I decided to push DS for 1 today. Managed till 11.

I think the kind of help I need now is professional/psychological. Seriously negative thoughts and I'm starting to hear DS crying in the night even when he isn't. Going absolutely loopy but living on 2-3 hours of fragmented sleep a night every night being pregnant would likely do that to many...(clutching at straws)

I used to hear DD crying in the night when she wasn't. I can't vouch for my sanity, just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Even I think I hear her crying from time to time and I've had 6.5hrs plus for the last five or six months. I can't imagine what it must be like on so little sleep...

I'd like to add my horrid demon to the list...

3.35am for the past five days. Before that it was hit and miss, anywhere between 4-5.45

But seriously, 3.35AM. I cried this morning, literally sobbed. I don't know how he does it because the little beggar won't nap during the day for longer than half an hour at a stretch, I am literally nauseous with tiredness.

DSPB OMG!! I sooooo feel for you and send you virtual hugs-you poor soul. I had 3.28 one day and was beside myself but it was just one day. Sympathy for you

Dunno about you Feeno but I fully intend to barge into DS's room when he's about 15 at around 3am, screaming incoherently and then possibly shitting myself for good measure... Let's see how he likes them apples!

DSPB I don't know how you have the strength to make us laugh when so shattered! 3.30 is beyond the pale.

feeno I had a thought this morning. Maybe you need some sleeping pills or something to allow you to sleep through the anxiety for a few night's and make DH deal with the tiny tyrant?

Best of luck for tonight, ladies. Heat not helping but we can always hope, eh?

feeno - totally second the idea of sleeping pills - sleepeaze from Boots works very well for me. Did I post about this a while back? Seems to be ringing bells. Definitely worth a try for a couple or 3 nights.

DSPB - 3.30 is not early waking, it's night waking!! What a flipping nightmare. Is he up for the day at 3.30?? What time does he go back to sleep?

Meggy If I'm lucky he'll have a nap at around 9/10am. If I'm not lucky he'll be awake and thoroughly miserable until around 3pm. I was talking to my mam about it and apparently I was exactly the same as a baby and she used to tell me that she hoped that one day I'd have a baby of my own that wouldn't sleep...

Oh how I laughed when she told me that [hollow laugh]

I'd love some sleeping pills right now but worried about taking any whilst pregnant. I often go to bed at 8.30 but takes me till after 10 to fall asleep, I'm then awake again between 12 and 1 and then up for good around 3 as I can't switch off. Can't ask DH to deal with the little tyrant at mo. he's fasting for Ramadhan (I can't cuz I'm pregnant) so he doesn't eat till 9ish, can't go to bed till after 11 due to prayers and then has to wake at 2.30ish to do the pre-dawn breakfast before fast begins. He leaves the monitor with me after that as he needs to get a little bit of sleep in before having to wake at 7 for work. DS was up for good at 4.55 this am. I am feeling so beyond normal at the moment and just don't know what to do anymore. I'm not being a good mother cuz I'm not functioning and can't be a wife cuz we get no time together, not even in bed and I haven't had the energy to see any of my friends for a very very long time.

Oh damn forgot you were pregnant! Bloody hell (excuse outburst) you are suffering! Sorry to hear Ramadan has got in the way too. It never rains, eh? Maybe you could talk to your GP? Of course, you may not want to take anything anyway, but maybe they could at least advise you if there was anything they consider safe. I can't think what else to suggest (other than the scary super-late business). I wish I could think of something. I feel really bad for you.

Of course the others of you with 4.00 monsters I feel bad for you too! Our 5.10 seems like a dream child in comparison...

meggy how are you doing by the way?

Thanks fifi. Seeing midwife monday so maybe she can help but IME midwives tend not to be sympathetic to these things. Yup, you're right, it always pours round here!
DSPB I fully intend to wake DS at stupid o clock when he's older and I may even be persuaded to to a big shit for him but a wee would prob suffice!

feeno - kids anti-histamine knocks me out as well if I haven't taken anything for a long time - that might be OK whilst pg as I think you can give it to tiny babies but definitely worth asking the midwife.

frog - up and down to be honest. Some mornings she's doing brilliantly - we had 06:45 the other morning but of course, that was the morning that DS woke at 05:45 so not so much respite - although I'm aware that's a lie-in for some of you! Then this morning it was 0520. I ignored her until 0600 - she woke up very happily calling "mum, daddy, henny come in" (henry is DS which she can't say properly yet!) so I wonder if she's having too much day sleep - but hey who am I kidding? I've been looking for reasons since she was six months old - she's 19 months now.

DSPB - at least you know your mum survived and presumably you do not still wake at ridiculous-o'clock so I guess there's hope for us in there somewhere (trying desperately to see a silver lining here!).

Oh feeno we were just talking about what a terrible time of year Ramadan has fallen this time. Much worse when it is in the summer. I'm back in the UK with a jetlagged DD, jetlagged me and jetlagged DH. It's awful. No sleep for me the last two nights. DH has taken her tonight.

Ladies are you all still alive? I've been "on holiday" visiting parents and inlaws. She's had a couple of post-6ams this week mostly I think because of keeping her up til 7.30 because we want to watch Sir Chris Hoy and friends... Home today but tried to keep her up that extra half hour again - so hard, keeping her entertained much harder at home! Will see how that pans out...

Really hope you're all doing better - our post 6's have been balanced by some 5's and a night of vomiting but overall we've had a decent week.