Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

Hi Imnot, sounds like your having a rough night. Just keep reminding yourself that it's temporary. This can't last forever. It will get better. Have a nice and something tasty for breakfast, yesterday morning I had cheesecake.

I know what you mean about not feeling up to socialising. When I was pregnant I thought I'd be going to a couple of mum and baby groups a week, meeting people for coffee etc but now I'm just tired all the time, can't be bothered to do anything so spend most days alone until dp comes home. I haven't made any mum friends at all and none of my old friends have babies.

imnot sorry you had such a bad night. I'm sure your friends don't think that - I bet they think you are breezing along coping brilliantly cos you're doing such a good job of putting a brave face on. Childless friends are completely clueless and often unwittingly unforgiving and inconsiderate. Maybe they will understand in years to come! I've lost a few friends this year cos they just don't get why I can't be like I was (one because I couldn't get my head round her wedding, outside Paris that was no children from 4pm onwards. She just didn't get why I wouldn't want to drag 2 babies to France to leave them with a strange French babysitter for the price of 90 euros each. Even my own mother won't babysit the both of them for longer that a couple of hours cos DD is such a tricky, non sleepy non bottle liking thing!). But hey, barely have any time to see DH so friends not taking priority. Have been cheered on the other hand by other friends being so understanding when I explain what's really been going on.

broom cheesecake for breakfast reminded me of my favourite breakfast when I was a teenager - sara lee chocolate gateau on toast

pip I hope your electrics are ok!

Have thought of another good survival tip - high protein snack at 5pm to help with the bf drain (peanut butter sandwich my current fave) and a hot meal in the evening does help me feel better (especially if cooked by someone else!)

Hey, thanks for your replies. I'm sure you're right about friends, it just feels so consuming and bleak sometimes. Still, it's just tiredness, not a health problem or painful condition (I keep repeating this!) chin up Me!

Broom mum and baby group friends are over rated (ime) anyway! Things still looking up for you, sleep regression-wise? I do hope so x

MrsD good tip. I actually love the idea of gateau on toast, classy (ahem). Auto correct kept making that Gary on toast

Did I say (I never remember) I have started keeping a sleep diary of when ds naps and wakes/feeds etc, day and night. Don't know what good it will do but it may reveal something obvious.

Cheers guys x

I'm lucky in that respect that I have a number of friends who either have just come out the other side of it, are currently in it or just about to dive back in maybe cos they're pg again. So, can whinge away and get lots of sympathetic nods, i.e one friend has a frequent waking 2 yo and just had another baby.
Electrics are largely sorted, final sorting out should be complete by Tuesday. DS was a pain in the bum all day yday cos he was too tired from the previous night's power cut shenanigans. Better today and normal bedtime resumed!
Had a weird night with DD last night. Put her down asleep at 830. She woke distressed at 930 and could only get her to sleep with bf. Woke again at 11, so bf'd again. Woke at 12 and 130 too. I was sure she'd be up every hour, so when she fell asleep I left her on the double bed instead of trying to put her in the cot and climbed in next to her. DS got up at 5am, I put him back to bed and DD was still asleep. I made a nest of cushions etc around her so she couldn't roll off and went and slept in my bed, cos if DS wakes and I'm in with her he bursts in and wakes her.
She didn't wake til after 7am, when DS got up..so 5 hours asleep. i fed her then, put her down asleep and she slept til 930am. I wonder if it's teeth (she's got her first two) as I'd given paracetamol at 130? Then today she was so fretful, wouldn't nap all morning until about 4pm and quite miserable, not herself at all.
My coping strategy with tiredness is, unfortunately, food. i'm going to be the size of a house if she doesn't sleep through soon. . I'm eating my own body weight in total sugary shite everyday. Can't. Stop. Myself.
Got a sore throat today, but think it's just tiredness really.
DH was asking what I want for Christmas.. I said there was only one thing i wanted but he couldn't give me (cos she won't take a bottle)..you guessed it..a night's sleep!

I think that is all any of us want, lost count of how many times I moan 'I would pay anything to get a nights sleep' (even though I don't have any money!). Ds dreadful again today and tonight, took an age to settle him to bed. I am so tired I couldnt cope after last night. Dh resorted to cc for the last 15 minutes before he dropped off (ds that is, not dh). I feel utterly wretched as he is so young (just under 6 months) and I hadn't planned to resort to that yet. I just know we ran out of options and weren't able to cope. He won't remember it anyway and at least he had mow been asleep for 2 hours.

Sorry to keep ranting, it just really helps having you guys to understand. pip things sound so tough for you, I hope dd becomes a bit more predictable and repeats her long spell of sleep for you. Fingers crossed (and that your ds obliges too of course).

Good luck tonight comrades

Oh imnot poor u, its tough hey. How long did it take for cc to work? My girl is 23weeks today and a couple of weeks ago tried that but she didn't give in, ended up getting a sore throat and her vocal cords were sore. But I'd say I'm gona have to try again soon cos its getting too much.
We had a couple of good nights, good routine and she only woke once for a feed. But we are back to crying every 2hours ( if I'm lucky) but I'm still not giving breast I'm rocking or giving dummy to settle ( but don't want her to rely on dummy) I tell myself not to feed her unless its been 4hours. But so hard.
Bad night up most of it....and I'm suppose to be going out for lunch with the girls for my 30th which is today and all I wana do is go back to bed.... how to get thru it??? Wine maybe lol.

I seriously dont know how I'm gona cope wen I go back to work in Feb if she is still like this....anyone else have these fears too?

Xx

Sorry to hear everyone had such rubbish sleep on the weekend. DD has a tooth coming through so we (and her) had a rough ride. Luckily I got out for a girly lunch for a couple of hours on Satuday and had an hour's nap on Sunday afternoon and that got me through with a smile on my face (mostly). I don't really have friends who understand about the sleep thing, even my NCT group girlies have been wanting me to go out for a night for ages and they don't understand that I can't be out the house in case DD wakes up - which she will! All their babies take the bottle and are used to being cared for by others (although the dreaded separation anxiety seemed to hit them all around 6 months). One of my friends keeps posting about her crap sleep with her 3 week old, and I am so sure she's going to post that he's slept through the night before DD does! I think I should hide her updates.

Birchy I know what you mean about work - I was so relieved when DH told me he had reservations about me going back to work as I was thinking the same thing and a bit scared to express it. Apart from not wanting to leave DD with someone else I have no idea how I would hold down a City job. So compromise is I'm going to try and find something part time and more local (hopefully easier, less hours, no commute).

One of my coping tips is that I put DD in the gym creche for half an hour at a time, sometimes I exercise sometimes I have a coffee and cake! She quite often cries almost the whole time but I know she's being cared for and I think she is slowly getting used to the staff, the last two times there was no crying when I handed her over.

birchy thanks, it only took 15 minutes, going in to reassure every 5.

You need to think dd will be better by February! That's is weeks away, it will probably change lots between now and then. Agree though, it would be very hard to cope but you would. Hope lunch is ok (fun?) today!

Hello,

crap sleep last night but not DD's fault. She fed at 830, 11, 3 and 6 but the dog was ill between 3 and 6 and kept pacing around groaning and then DS up at 7am, so got 3.5 hrs sleep. DH took DS down for breakfast and off to school and DD slept so got another 2 hrs. DS off school tomorrow and thurs (local holidays) so will be knackered. ah well at least the weather's nice.

Hi all

DD cough is really starting to bother her. DP rang the doctors this morning and when they asked if it was urgent he said not really, so no appointment until next Tuesday.

And last night even after DD had dropped off I couldn't sleep because of my cough

Hope everyone is ok, really hope there is a light somewhere at the end of this very long very dark tunnel.

Pouring us all massive cups of coffee laced with Bailey's.
Sorry to hear everyone's been having shit nights. Winter coughs and colds are not helping us either - was zero over the weekend, very sunny, after swimming on Saturday took DS out to shops as had to do tonnes of groceries etc. Fucked up what little routine I had managed to get going, plus he got a cold at some point and now can barely breathe. I think I might have to suck his boogies out - anyone ever tried it? Does it work? Or do you just end up poking them in the face with the suction thing as they squirm around so much?

pip - I hate it when the pets inadvertently reduce sleep even further. Our dog loves our cat and follows him around all the time, but it seems he does it especially more when we put DS down to sleep for the night. Lots of running around, loud miaowing and excited dog noises ensue. Have tried putting cat out around bedtime but he usually ends up yelling at the back door, and in a few weeks it'll probably be -20 outside and I won't be able to use that option.
I have tried Camilia teething stuff (is homeopathic) made by Boiron. Not sure that one vial does the trick, so usually try 2, but it does seem to help soothe a bit. I'm afraid I usually resort to paracetamol though when teeth are bad, but then it does work and we all get sleep.

Don't give up ImNot. I really sympathise with you about feeling like it will last forever, but it really won't! Think of the progress you made in the past few weeks already, and remember that nothing stays the same. I hear you re. friends too, I have rarely gone out since DS was 7 months in utero (was middle of winter and too freezing and icy to go out much after work), but amazingly the vast majority of my friends are still in contact even if I don't see them much. I found it extra hard with mum-friends when DS's sleep was awful and they were chirruping on about their sleep successes etc.; I felt all I ever did was moan. Then at one point I met their partners and found out that the amazing sleep they all professed to was exaggerated, which made me feel a lot better. Furthermore, all children go through different challenges and I think my honesty about how I felt regarding motherhood (bloody hate it sometimes, but love it most of the time,) and shit sleep means that now those mums talk to me about the problems they are going through. What I am trying to get at is not to feel bad about going through a super tough time and needing support. That is what friends are for.

Hurray after 5 days of fever DD is better! We even managed to get her to sleep in her cot for a whole 2 hours yesterday evening so DH and I got to enjoy a glass of wine together (it look 45mins of her screaming and us patting but it's a small success!).

broom hope you and your DD feel a bit better soon!

pip sorry to hear you had a rough night, so galling that even the dog is keeping you awake!! Very that you have nice weather, it's freezing here and I'm pining for some sun

imnot 15 mins sounds really good to me! I sometimes wonder with all this shushing and patting business whether I'm just winding DD up rather than calming her down. I'm going to try and be a bit more hands off tonight and see if that helps...

birchy yes, me, definitely. Going back to work in 3 weeks and in no fit state to do so. Totally buried my head in the sand about it. DD basically has a week to sort it out or there will be desperate measures. I can't even string a sentence together at the mo. My work is only a 4 min walk away though and ems I totally agree, no commute has made my life so much more bearable post children!

Ps titihood just read your post - is that sucking bogies thing real?!!! Surely that is WAY beyond the call of motherhood duty!

titihood yes I used a bogie/snot sucker thing recently. Had it ages but never thought I'd use it but goodness me, it was such fun! You have to do it quick as they aren't too keen but it really works, exactly as if they have blown their nose! Ohh, bit like squeezing a spot. Ahem, sorry. mrsD you can buy suction devices complete with stop-it-going-in-your-mouth filters!

Anyway, I have a bit of information. A friend of a friend is a paediatric dietician and kindly spoke with me today. She thinks ds has a cows milk allergy, based on his medical and behavioural history. This would explain the poor sleeping too, little mite's tummy hurts

Anyway, obviously just a hypothesis at the mo but I am to cut out cows milk (including chocolate) for 2 weeks. She thinks he will be a different baby. Not sure if I think this is good or bad yet, off to bed now to ponder it.

Glad your daughter is better MrsD. Do what you feel comfortable with re cc. I wouldn't have done it at all but just felt broken. Its so hard to know though, and what works one day doesn't the next.

Thanks again everyone, it's so strange I actually feel like you are my friends. I have been on MN for about 3 years and not felt like that before

I have a snot sucker (with filter) it's great! DD has had sooooo many colds (DS had about 2 in 2 years)it's been a lifesaver. Quick squirt of saline solution and then go at her with the snot sucker while she's still in shock ;) Easier in her little rocking chair cos she can't squirm away too far.
I'm off to bed in a minute, hoping (as always) that tonight will be the night and she'll sleep through .
Chin up, ladies..this too shall pass and all that
xx

Hopefully you've found the answer Imnot. Good luck giving up chocolate. Could you go and buy yourself some goodies from the free from range at the supermarket? My mum is allergic to practically everything but still buys herself treats.

Liking the sound of these snot suckers DD is still make lots of badger/warthog noises so maybe that will help.

Argh! DD back awake again. I'm really don't get the putting them down awake thing it makes no difference and takes a million times as long and I'm starving! Salad for tea was a stupid idea.

Hi everyone...room for a very tired newbie?
My DS is 17 months & suffers badly when teething. As a result night times are the worst...although upset during the day I cope loads better. I am so exhausted & have just had yet another moan at DH! I'm tearful & just need some understanding.

Welcome wifey.

lots of understanding here, i think everyone just wants a few hours of unbroken sleep!

Thank you...yes I think it makes all the difference. It just helps to not feel like I'm being unreasonable by saying how tired I am...or deemed struggling

Mrs d hope u can get somewhere before going back to work, it is a worry. I just hate the idea that I maybe up all night with babes then have to get up to get both girls ready drop one at school,babes at childminder and then off to look after 2-4 year olds all day!!! Still like imnot we will cope cos we have to and somehow we are all getting thru this now.
Imnot thank u I did have a lovely lunch, babes was so good and just played with rattles while we scoffed lol. I got spoilt rotten by my dh, didnt expect it at all.

I seriously dont know what to do about sleeping, just wish she would do the six hour thing again..lasted two nights and now back to two hours. Tried cc before but she is s stubborn madam and cried for an hour with us going in every five mins she got in a state and I cldnt anymore. Do u think I shld try again??

Imnot worth a try with the cows milk, I'd go longer than two weeks though to make sure. I sometimes wonder if that is the prob here. What symptoms is urs showing? Gdluck.

Well off to try and get some sleep if madam will go longer now.

Hope all get a good sleep......
Lots of love

Welcome wifey, plenty of sympathy here. How is your ds usually when not teething?

broom what if you put her down awake but keep your hands on her? I expect you've tried it but it put ds down but keep hands on him and even lean into his cot (like a madwoman) and put my face/head on him as if he is still being held against me, just now horizontal instead of vertical! I can then gradually lighten the pressure of my hands/head. It now takes no time to withdraw, usually. I just wish the effects went longer than 2 hours...

birchy up to you re. Cc. How long ago did you try it? Do you want to try again? If you feel up to it, or desperate enough like I did, then maybe worth a try. I think if it isn't tolerable ad if is then action is needed. Re. The cows milk thing, ds has mild eczema, and that coupled with family history of excema and hayfever and another immune system condition, plus the sleeping issues; never slept through, wakes 2 hourly in discomfort (not crying but clearly uncomfortable), needed 'colief' as a newborn up to 3 months, generally very unhappy newborn (don't even ask me about the first 3 months! ) and other bits of info she gleaned (can't recall it all now). It feels right to me too, I knew there was something wrong. Anyway, she said he would be a different baby in 2 weeks if that is the problem. We will see

Thank you IAmNot....he is usually a good little sleeper. His naps are 1 hour a day..if he takes one. But e has started waking 2-3 hours after going to bed & screaming out...then again a few hours later. I have listened to him & it sounds like he is dreaming before he screams out.
Not sure how to help him if it's nightmares etc.

Great news on DD being better MrsD! Boogie-suckers are all too real, though the one I have just has a suction bulb, is not the kind where you do it with your mouth (though I have heard they are more efficient). I last used it when DS was little and could not move much, so am a bit nervous now he's a very squirmy 8.5 month old!
Glad to hear others have had success with it though...if Karvol on the bib doesn't work then I will have to do it!

Welcome wifey6. Not being unreasonable at all to be tired and expressing it - it wasn't until I had a baby that I realised why sleep deprivation is used as a torture tactic!

ImNot my nephew had problems with cows milk and bizarrely enough pork (not pigs milk UGH imagine pigs milk! For some reason it just seems so wrong). My sister cut them out of her diet and he had a lot less stomach upsets, and slept better too. He also had silent reflux which was diagnosed a few months after, and that is when he started sleeping more at night. There's no harm in trying to cut out the cows milk for 2-4 weeks; if you see an improvement then at least you'll be getting sleep, though no choccie :( Just have to break out the plain stuff...

We've been keeping a log of DS's night sleep during the CC we're currently trying, which has been really useful. So far it has been just over a week and he is definitely improving on the going to sleep front, and I guess a bit with staying asleep too. Wish I could say the same for naps. How can he be asleep when I leave the room then wake up 1 minute after?! Birchey it might help if you do the same for CC, as the first few nights it can really feel neverending, but if you can see your progress then it gives you incentive to keep going. Also, you can set a limit to the number of days you are willing to try it before you see improvement (ours was 7 days and we saw consistent improvement within 4) and if it's not working you can stop knowing you gave it a fair try.

Hope you all get good sleep tonight, seems like today is one of those days when I should give up on the thought of him napping well and just pray sleep tonight is forthcoming. Getting the boogie-sucker out now

Thank you titihood....torture is definitely the right word.
DS hasn't napped at all today so hopefully will settle early...then I can go to bed early & get a head start in sleep in case he does wake up. I have taken him into my bed a few times when he has been very upset...I was thinking of trying to put him back into his bed once he has fallen back to sleep..does anyone think this will work? I
want to break the habit of him coming in & staying in my bed til morning.