Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

Imnot: I have to do the touch thing, I sit next to the cot and stroke her head and gradually move hand away....she suffered with reflux as a newborn and has always been a sicky baby wakes in the night and when I pick her up she either burps or throws up a lot. I have always wondered about milk intolerance.
Oops she is awake, will continue later

X

I do the stroking, putting my head whole body in Moses basket too, sometimes it works, sometimes not. It's probably my fault because I don't always do it sometimes it's just easier to hold her. About to go to bed now, let's see how tonight goes.

Good luck everyone x

Hello all!
Sorry I've been AWOL, been staying at my parents whilst we have some work done on the house. What a mistaka to maka! We are now back to square one on the sleep stakes, last night baby was up every two hours and just to mix it up toddler had a bad dream at 3.30 am and couldn't get back to sleep. So I think I got about two hours last night in total! Another 'bare minimum' day beckons methinks! Plus DP announced last night that he was planning to be out on Friday night which will be the SIXTH IN A ROW. I laughed like a drain and said IDFTS! Any ideas what this stands for? Hoping it will start of a new MN acronym!

Wifey I found the only way to break the sleeping in my bed habit was some very limited (time wise) CC. I know you always think 'that's it,he's awake, he won't go back to sleep' but I do find that quite often if I time it he is asleep in under ten (I would never leave him to cry longer than this at night). Of course, I then can't get back to sleep, but I kid myself it's progress!

Thank you Ams...we did CC when he started in his own room...but he disnt cry for long & soon self-soothed. i'm just sceptical about doing it at the moment as he is teething really badly. I am however persisting & laying him back down & sitting there for a while..it's only about a minute or two. I feel so incapable asking & saying these things.

Hello wifey and Jolyonsmummy and welcome back Ams, sorry to hear sleeping is still crap.
Just a quick msg, cos have to go out, DD went down at 830 and only woke at 11pm, 4am and 7.30am so was really pleased with that . Unfortunately DH kept soring, fidgeting, turning over and generally irritating the crap out of me keeping me awake so didn't sleep all that well. But it's progress at least.
Had a smear test today and a bit of a chat to the doc about contraception (ha ha ha, there's NO sex in this house, hasn't been for months...a non sleeping baby- the perfect contraception) she said what with bfing, it's cerazette or condoms. Anyone been on cerazette? I have a thread on chat about it, but thought I'd ask you ladies too.

Sigh is about all I can manage to type. No progress here at all. Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I was feeling dead smug about CC on DS2(7 months) went from waking every 45 mins to every 2.5hrs (still shit but SO much better) last night was up to 3-4 hour intervals (!) was only doing modified CC, max 20 min then resettle and he'd sleep.

Tonight resettled 4 times at 20 min intervals. He eventually took a dummy and fell asleep (normally hates them). He has just gotten more persistent with cries!

Either he will now be so knackered he will beat the 4 hour record or it'll be a shit night. Not converted to CC yet. Dh going away next week so may take advantage of one less in the house and give it a good go. Things that have helped so far:

Weaning from boob
Keeping A feed at around 11 (aim to eliminate when not waking between then and morning...
Settling in cot not on my bed or sofa

Anyhow running off to bed now to try and sleep before next wake up. 7 months, jeez, where did I go wrong.

Will be back on this thread at I predict 3.30am xxx

Ps shit night, he just woke up.

Hi everyone, have not yet been to sleep tonight . DS is 18 weeks and used to sleep really well, but for last 4 weeks has been up every hour and a half or so, and wakes up within 10 minutes of putting him down so needs resettling all the time. Has anyone mastered the putting them down when drowsy? Have tried but he cries.

Right, going to attempt to put him down!

hi I'm new to the team: poorly breast keeping me awake while the DCs sleep peacefully (but not for much longer, gah ...). I'm trying not to worry by fantasy shopping and doing real christmas shopping

Hope your ok Devon.

DD has spent the past 2 nights in bed with DP and me because I can't get her to sleep any other way. Last night was a complete disaster. Didn't get her to sleep til 9, then she ended up sleeping on my chest for 2 hours because she kept coughing. In bed next to me from about 12ish. She slept til 4 but has been trying to wake up all night so I've barely slept.

Gah! I've had enough!

Hello fellow walking wounded...

bringmesunshine I too was feeling well smug about controlled crying, like you we've had some progress ie is now in his own room and slightly longer stretches between wakings, but still up four times a night last night... It's obviously not the silver bullet we were hoping for though!

itstimetoburnthisdiscodown never mastered that skill, as I was saying above one of the victories of CC is that I now can put him down sleepy and he will settle himself to sleep. Still wakes up at lot though, don't know how you feel about CC anyway, was massively against myself, until I got desperate!

devonshireduckling are you poorly? Dd you mean you were having a breastfeeding problem? Hope shopping went well

broombububum I feel your pain! Xxxx

Did have a victory last night, toddler managed to climb out of his cot yesterday so last night made his cot into a bed,and amazingly he slept for 12 hours! Course baby was still up four times, but still! Was expecting hell last night so was pleasantly surprised. Just a quick suggestion for those with waking toddlers, my dad suggested a very small night light as toddler has had several nightmares recently then been impossible to settle. Last night waste first night we had it on, may be coincidence but could have helped?

I reckon I've had about 2 hours sleep, I'm shattered! He's only 4 months, so I think too young for cc? Don't like the idea of it but I'm getting desperate; he's been like this for the last 4 weeks (I know it's not that long) but hes getting worse by the night. Glad the cc has worked for you and that your toddler had a good night.

pipoca I'm on the micronor pill and breastfeeding. Word of warning if you do go on a "mini pill" be religious about taking it at the same time every day (difficult with sleep deprivation I know!). One of my friends was bf'ing and taking the mini pill and got pregnant whilst her DC was only 7 mo.

Sending everyone . DD is teething so was actually relieved to have a relatively good night, bed by 7, up at 8 (big burp then back down again quickly), up at 11, 3, then up for the day at 6:30. Just quite long to settle each time, was up and down like a jack in the box as I am determined to put her down sleepy but awake.

Ams hooray for success with your toddler, fingers crossed it continues.

itstime sounds like yours is going through 4 month sleep regression like my DD.

Ems are you seeing any progress with putting down when awake? I know I need to start being consistent with this but I just don't think I have the energy or the patience.

Brooms I'm sorry to say but no, in the four months or more I've been putting DD down sleepy but awake it hasn't made a shred of difference to her sleep, probably only had negative effect on mine as I think she's ok and start to drop off then five minutes later she's crying so I go and give her another cuddle (this can easily happen 3 or 4 times per each wake up in the night). However I do persevere as it makes sense to me that she should be aware of where she's falling asleep. My version of sleepy but awake is that she's awake enough to do a little wiggle and find a comfy position, not just plop where I put her. Maybe I'm not putting her down awake enough, iyswim, but on the few occasions (literally, less than five) where I've put her in her cot quite awake and she's settled herself, she has still woken up as frequently as if I fed her to sleep. I have been trying to do the Pantley pull off from the NCSS for the last few months and although it hasn't helped the sleep it has at least stopped me from being a human dummy, prior to this she would suckle on me for up to an hour and a half before being put down. Now I take her off as soon as the feeding stops and the comfort sucking begins. If she roots about and fusses then I put her back on for another minute or so, and so on and so forth.

Literally the only thing that made a difference to DD's sleep is putting her on her tummy. I know I bang on about this but seriously it changed my life, at least now I can get her to have decent daytime sleep and I no longer have to let her sleep on me during the night when she's fussing.

Hi all! Just discovered this white noise clip on Youtube which is an amazing 12 hours long! Have whacked it on this morning for DS as he is a nightmare when it comes to daytime napping and after 30 mins he was asleep (with no crying beforehand, just alert and looking around his moses basket). Also, might help for any mummies and daddies who can't sleep when given the opportunity.

Might be worth a try before forking out on CDs (and also in the middle of the night when putting the hoover on isn't always an option lol!)

Brooms it's miserable isn't it? I've tried to put him down when drowsy rather than asleep, but he wakes himself up and it's easier to cuddle him to sleep (I know, I'm making things worse ).

Ems, how old is your little one? DS is 4 months and can flip from back to front but not the other way, and it worries me about putting him on his front. I think he might sleep better that way though.

Thanks for the white noise tip pips, might try that tonight. I've got the sleepy baby app on my phone which is quite good, there's white noise and lullabies. You have to set a time though, and can't mumsnet at the same time!

Tried him in his cot last night to see if the extra space would help. Epic fail!

Sorry, perish not pips!

Hello everyone sorry not posted in a while, in a foggy daze for the last week and can't get it together to say anything sensible. No sleep success to report here, DD is still not napping and up every 2 hours . At least DS has a nappy on this week - I took your advice - what WAS I thinking?!

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown My DD is 8.5 mo but I started putting her on her stomach around 5 months old (for naps) as her daytime sleep was just an absolute disaster and at nights I was having to spend half of it awake as she was asleep on me and I was so scared of smothering her, I was afraid to go to sleep myself! She was able to lift her head and roll but mostly went into bed so sleepy that she wouldn't roll over on her own. I still feed or cuddle until she is 95% asleep though but now she doesn't scream blue murder when I try and put her down.

Sending hugs to MrsD...hang in there pet.
Nothing much to report here..DD been better last few nights. Last night was 9pm, 1am, 4am, 8am. So quite pleased with that. DS has a nasty cough so may well be up in the night.
Can't remember who said what, but thanks for tip about mini pill. Not convinced it's worth it, haven't even had sex for months cos I'm too tired to be bothered and after I put DD down I just want some time to myslef and anyway she could wake at any time and I can't relax. I don't think we even have any condoms in the house and there's no danger of them being used anyway right now.
I think the putting them down awake is more in the long term that they'll develop good sleep habits. I mostly feed DD to sleep but sometimes after her first morning feed she'll seem tired so I put her back in her cot cos I'm knackered to see if she'll self settle and sometimes she does drop off again. She mostly self settles for the afternoon nap as she sleeps in her rocker in the lounge, watching baby tv cos I don't want her crying and waking DS as he naps at the same time. She'll get too big for the rocker so I'll have to stop doing that eventually...but maybe DS will have stopped napping by then..I don't know, refuse to worry about that now.
Right better be off to bed in preparation for first night's waking.

Aw pips thanks! That's made me feel better. Everything just seems so hard at the mo. I keep setting days to try a bit of sleep training but then totally chickening out. I actually quite like co-sleeping but do need to get some sleep before starting work plus DH is very, very anti it (and I think he's secretly hoping we'll actually have a sex life if we get the bed back . Still pips you reminded me to sort out something better than condoms - gonna try the Mirena coil I think cos another child would actually destroy me )

ems I think I agree with you re putting down sleepy but awake making no difference - I used to be able to put DD down totally awake in her cot for naps and she'd roll over and go to sleep if I timed it right so I knew she could self settle. Now no chance, I need to rock or feed her to sleep. Made no difference to night wakings, it's always been and still is 2 hourly, whether she self settled or not. I just don't get it...

perish awesome YouTube link - 12 hours!!

Sleepy vibes all round everyone, good luck tonight