Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

Welcome script . Excuse my language but I think the whole give them formula to fill them up thing is bollocks. D
I breastfed until 10 weeks then formula fed, made no difference to her sleep. If anything I was more tired because then having to get up and make bottles.

Imnot sorry your still struggling with DS. I can't believe there making you wait so long! Hope things get better soon.

Fingers crossed for wifey and star, hopefully more good nights will follow.

Hope birchys doing ok. Have you decided to go to the doctor about pnd?

DD doesn't seem to be getting any better. And I'm giving into go sleeping earlier and earlier in the night. Last night she was asleep by 8.30. Awake 40 mins later. Took 15 mins ish to re settle her. Awake again at 11. Then 12. Brought her into our bed. Work twice but very easily settled except for when I accidentally poked her in the eye at 5 am Was awake for a while at 5 then asleep til 8.

Currently sat in DD's room doing the sleep separation and she is rolling about, kicking her legs and I think she's attempting to sing so may be here a while. In getting so sick of spending every evening in a dark room.

Hello script - sorry that you have to join us. Hopefully you won't need to be here long!

Glad you had another good night wifey. It sounds like you're doing a cracking job sticking to keeping DS in his own bed. Well done you!

Our run of fab nights (does two nights count as a run?!) came to an end last night with a return to the two hour wake up. The only positive that I can take from it is the fact that DD eventually self settled. Not holding out much hope for tonight as she's been gripey all day and is off her food. I think she's either teething or coming down with something, so think we might be up quite a few times.

Hope you managed to get DD to sleep quickly Broom.

Good luck for tonight everybody!

Hello, Can I join late in the day too?
DD is 9 months and currently seems to be on 2 and a half to 3 hourly wake ups. It's now been about 2 weeks of this and I'm knackered. Admittedly she was ill with a cold over Christmas so I can forgive that and the constant breastfeeding to go with it as she seemed off solids too. Now I'm just exhausted. She can sleep through (once or twice) and I'd be happy with a regular one wake up a night which is what used to happen but I need a stretch of more than 3 hours sleep in a night.
Everything I've read seems to suggest that putting them down awake is the key. She had just dozed off tonight (when feeding) and as usual did her flip onto her front as soon as she hit the cot, I'm not sure that really counts as awake though.
I think I need to work on nap routines too. Currently it seems to be feed to sleep 3 hours after initial waking up and nap on our bed, then nap in the pram around 3pm. I really should try to get her in the cot, mainly so I can do things without having to make sure she hasn't waken up and crawled off the bed.

Hope the sleep fairy visits everyone tonight.

Welcome script come join us in our misery

You sound like you are doing great. First off all you need to take stock of where you are and what you want to change first, realistically. Is it naps? Self settling? Going longer between night feeds? Getting
more sleep any way possible? Then you can work on one thing at a time.

I resisted co sleeping, was terrified of it. It has turned out to be what keeps me sane. I will worry about breaking (potential) bad habits later. Don't be scared to try it to get some respite.

I would stick to ebf if you can too, much easier! It's a myth formula helps them sleep better, we discussed it somewhere on this thread (sorry, no idea when, yawn).

Most of all remember, This Will Pass. In the grand scheme of things, in your parenting lifetime, you will barely remember this. Be kind to yourself and try not to worry too much. It will resolve one way or the other. Oh, and nap whenever you can!

Good luck everyone, into battle once more xx

We Aprilites aren't having much luck are we?!

sorry chillikat welcome to you too. I started my post at 7.30pm and didn't refresh! Fwiw, I always fed DS1 to sleep and never had a days bother with him so don't put too much weight on one thing. Sometimes I am not sure there is an answer but things do always change, if you can hang on in there long enough. Good luck!

Isn't there another bloody sleep regression at 9 months chilli? Maybe it's that causing the problems? If so, fingers crossed that she'll get back to her previously decent sleeping habits before long.

Welcome to chillikat & script...
I hope this thread is as sanity-saving for you both as it has been for me. Support is always on hand...day or night if our LOs have anything to do with it!
DS woke at 6:15am yesterday morning & had an late morning nap & by bed time was exhausted. DS went to bed at 8pm..asleep with milk..stirred about 10pm but settled after dummy & back patting....I woke up at 4:15am as he still hadn't woke up & he was still fast asleep. He woke up at 5:45am! In his own bed all night!
I'm hoping I've cracked it. I think making his nap earlier has helped...more time to tire out before bed time.
How was everyone else's night?

Thanks for the welcome and advice from everyone.

Last night was fractionally better and I got 3 and a half hours sleep in a row from 11.45 to 3.15 so my head is a little clearer. Thanks for the reassurance re EBF. I think I'll definitely forget formula as a sleep solution. I'm in two minds about napping too. It doesn't seem to make any difference to his sleep whether he naps well or not, but all the books say you have to get naps working so I'll keep plugging away. My big confusion is over the whole self-settling thing. I've started putting him down sleepy, but awake and he usually manages to get off to sleep after 10-15 mins of ssh-pat. But then he'll wake up 20/30/40 mins later wanting more help re-settling. I feel like I'm training him to need me in the middle of the night. It might be my imagination, but if I rock him or feed him into a deeper doze before he goes down he seems to stay down longer. Of course, this might be a hunger thing. Maybe he settles longer after feeding because he's been fed - if you see what I mean. Would be very interested in other people's opinions/experiences though.

Chillikat - your world sounds quite like mine.

Wifey - congratulations, I'll read back through the thread to find out what you've been doing.

Good luck tonight everyone.

Star, I read about a 9m sleep regression and yes, I'm hoping that's what it is and we'll get back to normality and more sleep soon.

Last night was better - we had a 5 hour stretch 1-6am, then she had another couple of hours from 7am after a feed :)

script...my DS has always been fed to sleep & I find if held he sleeps loads better at nap times. A lot of my friends have dream-fed their babies or let them feed themselves in their cots from an early age..but due to colic & my uneasiness about all that..I have always wanted to hold him whilst fed. I have started using Ovaltine at night time as DS had such bad wind on just milk. It's definitely helped with the wind & I suspect it's helping him sleep better. If so I am buying in bulk on my next trip to the shops!!

chillikat....sounds like a good night for you last night...
I've not heard about sleep-regression...might have to google it

I'm really starting to get very disheartened. I'm really trying to follow the ncss book as much as possible but it seems to be making no difference. In fact the best she's slept in the past 3 weeks is when we let her fall asleep on my knee downstairs at about 8.30 and then took her upstairs. Which is the opposite of what ncss says to do.

I don't know if it's still 4 month sleep regression or not. She was a brilliant sleeper before 4 months. Only one wake up to feed and that was it.

Well done wifey. Welcome chilli.

Sending happy sleepy thoughts to everyone's babies.

broom...don't beat yourself up if you are not following a book to the letter. Use it as a tool & use the advice in it when you want to. If your LO sleeps better when they fall asleep on your lap...then that's what's best for them. My DS didn't fall asleep on his own until he was about 13+months as he had always fallen asleep having a cuddle & bottle.

Yay for sleep chilli! I think everything seems a little bit better after a five hour stretch.

We had another two hour period of wakefulness last night. Yaawn...

Well, I have found a new level of tiredness (guys, it's worse than we thought). My previously excellent sleeper, 3.9 Ds1 has just recently, for the first time ever started getting up at night. Repeatedly. To be tucked in or too hot or too cold or whatever. Last might DH lost his temper with him and, though he didn't smack him, I thought he was going to. DS hysterical, I intervened as couldn't bear it and DH turned on me, said I was on my own with it, deal with it myself blah blah sleep deprived, desperate, blah.

So, I did. DS1 came into my room (dh downstairs on sofa) at least 10 times in the night. I calmly returned him to bed. Ds2 (co sleeper) woke every 1-2 hours as has started having a tiny bit of rice and struggling with digestion (it would seem). I gave up on the idea if sleep entirely! Feeling slightly deranged today

This too shall pass.

Hope other fared better. broom I agree do what works for you. Don't feel disheartened and tired, that's just making things really hard for yourself! X

ImNot.... to read your nights have got worse. It can put a horrible strain on a relationship...my DH had a permanent spot on our sofa for ages! But regardless how tired you were...you persevered & kept taking your DS back to bed...that's sending a very clear message & that's great.
Be kind to yourself & rest as much as is realistically possible-easier said than done I know- but you need to until you are getting the sleep you need to function.
Last night for us - .DS stirred 4 times & just needed his dummy or to bring up wind...then settled & stayed in his bed from 8pm til 6:45am. I sometimes notice if he has been upset or has hurt himself during the day...he doesn't settle as well..as though he dreams about it. IYSWIM? It's happened on a few occasions...but on calmer days he is better.

imnot that sounds like a horrendous night. Is there anyway you can treat yourself to anything this weekend? Even if it's just wine and chocolate?

I have been trying to diet this week but have now given up completely. After spending another evening sat on the floor in the dark in DD's room I needed a glass of wine and a twirl.

I'm tempted to go back to rocking DD to sleep because it is quicker but it feels like its a step back IYSWIM.

Managed to get her to sleep for 7 and she has woke up 3 times so far. Currently asleep though in her own bed. last night she ended up in with us at 12 because she was waking up screaming every 40 mins.

Sleep deprivation really does do awful things to your relationship. I snapped at DP and stormed up to bed and I'm not even sure why thank god he's easy going and is used I my mood swings anyway

And she's back in our room again. Sigh. I have easily spent 3 hours sat on the floor in the dark in her room tonight with her seeming like she is asleep but as soon as I let go of her hand she wakes up. And her new thing is refusing to stop rolling around if I don't hold her hand in the first place.

wifey well done!

broom try not to worry. Sleep, for all of you, is what is important right now. I never intended to co sleep but just accept it now. It won't be forever and when our children are happy they will sleep alone again. She is saying she needs you.

I say I 'co sleep' I haven't actually been to sleep yet! Ds1 has been better though still up 3 or 4 times so far. Ds2 seems to have yet another cold ad well as a leaky nappy. He slept a couple of hours around midnight, as well as 7-10.30 pm but now he is too unhappy so I am just sitting up holding him, waiting for morning or ds1 to come in (again!) I feel like leaving home!

Im not: So sorry your nights are so grim. I can't imagine dealing with two and feel like a lightweight for whining about one little baby. Like wifey says, can you to anything to treat yourself? I can't tell you how much your "special cereal" tip has helped me...

Got a three hour and a two and a half hour stretch last night, so feeling a lot more human. And going with the prevailing wisdom here I'm not getting too stressy about co-sleeping in the wee hours.

Good luck to all and hope you have a good weekend.

SB x

Imnot you poor bugger, that is so shit. I hope things settle soon and DS1 goes back to sleeping hrough. I think ours must be very similar ages...I have DS 3.9 and DD 8mo? I think you did the right thing doing the rapid return, hope he sleeps better tonight. Anymore news on when you might see someone about DS2's digestive troubles? Could it be reflux?
DD had an atrocious night the night before last, waking at (drum roll):
11.30
1.30
3
3.30
4
4.40
5.20
6.30
8
with Ds also waking at 2.30.
I felt quite insane with tiredness the next day. last night was better but still woke about 4 times. Have been sleeping in with her as at least that way i don't have to get up but don't want to cosleep full time for various reasons. I think she's suffering with this cold and seems to have a sore tummy (maybe from swallowing all the mucous) and is possibly teething, but to be honest she's PERMANENTLY got something the matter. i've given up really. Just going to go with the flow and assume she'll eventually sleep through, even if it takes a long time.
Hopefully that will be before June when we're off to a wedding and staying in a caravan where cosleeping won't be an option (and I'd like to feel semi human for the wedding).

pip that's a terrible night. I agree there is always something and like you, just think eventually he'll sleep through and we may never discover exactly what the problem is. No appointment with paed yet but spoke to paed dietician again today who now wants me to try soya and dairy elimination diet. Joy be unconfined. Yes, similar ages, 3.9 and 6 mths.

Last night got worse. I have a chest infection (and am generally run down) and ended up lying on the landing floor crying at about 5am trying to deal with ds1! Still, tonight he hasn't got up at all and I definitely feel it is getting better. He was never the problem but really has been the straw that broke the camel's back!

Hi all, sorry haven't been around for a while. A lot going on.
I am so sorry to see so many are suffering at mo, sounds awful what some of u are going thru.
I too have been so frustrated, tired, run down and ended in tears because it just gets too much. My lo has been poorly so up lots with her and I now have what she has got but of course still have to get on with every day things and get up with her too. But she seems to be getting better. Although my dh has seen how she gets in a temper if I'm not around or if I don't go in to settle her and so he is being supportive in settling her before bed, and also helping to support me with things like letting her cry to settle herself cos he knows I struggle to do it he talks to me and gives me a loving cuddle. So things are getting there.
Good news too, we have a found away for me to stay at home instead of going back to work, that was getting me down too very much so. I hate the place I work and I don't think I'd get thru sleepless nights and going to look after 56 children the next day too ( I work in a nursery). So a big weight has been lifted.

I want to comment on some posts but madam is screaming so must go and see if she will nap!!!!!
Hope all slept well xxx

Hello everyone sorry I've not been around, back to work this week and any extra time i had (haha) seems to have vanished.

Big hugs all round, I'm also sorry everyone is having a rough time, especially you imnot that sounds downright awful and I can't imagine how you're coping (though it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job). I hope you are feeling better too.

birchy that's ace news! I cannot imagine how hard it is to work in a nursery (i think that every day i drop mine off as i can barely cope with 2!) and you must be so relieved and happy you get to stay at home with your LO.

We were having some success here but it totally disintegrated over the last few days. Still doing cc but she woke first at 1.30, then did half an hour of crying followed by 10mins of sleep followed by half an hour of crying and then 10mins of sleep repeated all night till I gave in and got up at 6am. I just don't get it. She had her MMR and a ton of other injections on Friday but we've been dosing her up with calpol and she (for once) isn't ill or massively teethy. I mean I know consistency is supposed to be the key so I can't go backwards now but I just don't know what to do .

Plus we were sleeping on the lounge floor on the blow up bed which chose last night to get a massive puncture and we ended sleeping tramp style up on the floor. Plus DH and I had a massive argument in the middle of the night about what to do. Argh.

I'm off to make coffee. I barely feel human. Anyone want one too? X