Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

just wanted to wish u all a very merry Xmas and hope u all got some decent sleep. lots of love.xx

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a lovely Christmas!

Now DH is home for xmas we are attempting to finally do something about DD's sleep but we've got a bit stuck and so I thought I'd ask you lovely people where to go from here.

DH offered to settle DD when she wakes instead of me feeding her, love him. (I nearly fell over backwards as its the first time he's touched her at night since she's been born!). We've done 2 nights now with the first feed somewhere between 5-6am which is amazing considering she's been feeding 2 hourly overnight since she was born. However she is still waking up 2 hourly and sometimes taking 2 hours to settle back down. He's keeping her in the cot, being really boring and kind of shh patting her while she cries plus offering water and calpol at regular intervals. She got totally hysterical when he walked out the room for 2 minutes to get something and it made me so and less inclined to try cc. I had hoped (prayed) that she'd just stop waking if we stopped feeding but it doesn't seem to have worked. Or is it still early days? I'm ironically more tired as although I'm banned from the room as DH thinks smelling me will make it worse, I'm lying next door listening to the screaming with bursting boobs and fretting!

Every second of the night I think 'why don't I have one of those babies that just works this stuff out for themselves?' or maybe they don't exist?!

How old is DD MrsDobalina? DD is 7.5 mo and I can't believe she still wakes so often.
We've had some success on and off and some crap nights in between. Had a nice (quiet) Christmas, but made the mistake of letting DD have broccoli on Christmas Day and that night she woke a lot and seemed to be suffering with wind. Tried broccoli once before (ages ago) and she woke every hour, so that's out! She's settled back into going down at 830 or 9 and waking at 12 ish and then 4 or 5 ish, although sometimes then she'll sleep til 9ish. DS wakes me in the middle at 7am or earlier, so not brill, but a damn sight better than every hour.
Have kind of given up worrying about it, if she only wakes that much. I can (just about) cope with it and I have no idea how to "fix" it and am too tired to be bothered trying. Some day she'll sleep all night and until then I'm just hanging in there and eating chocolate a lot.
Have you seen anyone ImNot about LOs digestive problems?
Hello to everyone else, I'm nipping off to try and get a cup of tea before DS and DD wake from naps.

xxx

Hi everyone!! Hope you have all had a lovely Christmas!! DS has been dropping naps more over Xmas..excitement etc but I have been managing to get him to have a little nap every other day or so I see if that helps him settle. pipoca...my DS has had wind issues so I an sympathise. I have gone back to giving wind medicine now which does help. He is sobbing about 4-5 hours after going to bed & will only settle if in with us...but will cry out in the night although not awake. Is this nightmares/ habit/ wind???? Do we just need to keep putting him back once he settles with us? I tried last week & he cried within a minute & I was so ill I took him back in with me. I know if I could just break this cycle it would be fine....but how???

How was everyone's Xmas?

DD is properly in her cot now. But it's made no difference to get sleep. Im also still very determinedly putting her down awake, which is working but also not making any difference to her sleep. She's still waking at least 4 times a night. Starting to think there is no answer and she'll sleep through when she wants to.

It feels like a while since imnot posted. Hope she's ok.

I think pipocas chocolate plan is the best way forward. Although DP proposed on Xmas day so I will at some point have to start dieting so that I can look nice for my wedding day

Hi all not been on for a while as of 25th dd2 has slept through till 5am! I think it's cause we weaned her, tbh. She seems so much happier!

Congrats broom!!!!
buggy...5am is excellent! Your LO must be feeling more settled on food! My DS was the same!

I thought plying DD with porridge before bed had helped, but it's been hit and miss, and for us, weaning hasn't really made much of a difference.
Congratulations broom! When's the wedding?

Think we're in for a looooong night as DD has obviously got another bloody cold and has just woken now cos she can't breathe through her nose. grrr.

DD has a stinking cold, so i slept in with her last night and it seemed to help. She fed at 830, 1030 and woke screaming at midnight cos she couldn't breather through her blocked nose, so I reckoned it would be a long night and decided to cosleep with her. She woke every hour or so, but just moaned really and went back to sleep, until waking for a feed at 6ish. Maybe it was cos she knew I was there? Don't know. DS got a cold too and is overtired with Christmas excitement and in a FOUL mood.
Just been on the bf/ff threads and come across this lovely quote from Dr Sears, which cheered me up no end. Think I'm going to stick it up somewhere to look at when I'm stressed. Maybe it'll comfort some of you too?
"Babies will wean and someday they will sleep through the night. This high maintenance stage of nighttime parenting will pass. The time in your arms, at your breast, and in your bed is a relatively short while in the life of a baby, yet the memories of love and availability last forever."
Hope you're all OK. xxx

That quote is lovely pip.

Can I ask a bit of an odd question? Is there anyway of me altering DD's poo routine? For the past sort of 5 days DD has been doing a poo right at the end of her bedtime routine and it's meaning I have to change her an wake her up and it's now taking forever to put her to bed. She used to have really regular poo times, she does 2 a day. One first thing in the morning and the other was at about 4. I can't think what I've changed that means she's now pooing at 7 instead of 4. Sorry that was a lot of talk about poo.

Argh having one of those evenings! DD up every 40 mins and keeps crying and I can't work out why. Not only does she want to held but she wants me to hold her standing up. What difference does it make if I sit down? Argh!

I've been snapping at DP all day too, even though he's been at work for most of it.

I'm wide awake will my beautiful DS sleeps. This night time waking is really getting me down & I have been led here in tears. DS cried out about 11pm and as I'm not well DH got up to settle him.....after 15mins of constant crying....I broke & told him to bring DS in with us. He did & it took another 30+ mins for him to settle down. Crying out on/off throughout the first few hours but is now soundly asleep. I'm led here watching him sleep so peaceful....feeling like an awful mummy for snapping & being cross with this whole situation. I don't know what to do for the best.

Once again DD barely slept all day so having to put her to bed really early. Once again fighting to get her to go to sleep.

Really can't cope at the moment. I'm hungry, I'm tired, I haven't been able to even shower or get dressed today because DD doesn't let me put her down.

DP is working 12 hours today and won't be home til 8.30.

I'm just sat in the chair in her room watching her in her cot. She's not crying yet but refusing to settle.

Does everybody have those days where they feel like giving in and doug everything the easy way?

I do broom...too often. Do you do the sleep separation technique?
Sorry to hear you are having a tough day?

Well after 10 weeks of DS feeding every 1.5hrs overnight I finally cracked and rang the HV for advice :( she said to try CC, so last night was the first night as DP is off work for 4 days. He also slept in his room for the first time. He slept for almost 2hrs, then was awake and screaming for the majority of the next 3hrs (even when we were going in and cuddling him), then slept from 1.30-7! I put him down in his cot awake and he self-settled for the first time. It was awful to hear him crying though, and I think I cried as much as he did. DP is in a foul mood today as he was trying to settle him - it's his 30th birthday tomorrow so I hope tonight isn't as bad :(

He's having 3 good naps during the day (2 x 1.5hrs and 1 x 30min) so I'm hoping his sleep will settle down soon.

I feel so guilty and like a bad mother for going down the CC route but I'm getting to the point where the sleep deprivation is making me ill so we needed to do something :(

What's the sleep separation technique wifey?

At least you had some success spanner. I'm seriously considering cc. I started off so against it but I'm so tired it's affecting everything and all of her sleeps are rubbish. Today she had 2 naps. One for an hour, one for about 40 mins. Both of them on my knee. I just can't get her to sleep without me during the day.

I imagine DP is seriously rethinking his proposal. I've been absolutely foul to him the past few days. Also I haven't been able to shave for weeks. When he comes home tonight he'll be greeted by a stressed, smelly, hairy woman who looks vaguely like the girlfriend he once had.

Sleep separation is where you are present in the baby's room when they are going to bed....with minimum eye contact or verbal contact. I sit to the side of my DS's bed & have my head down. I do not respond to his chatting...if I do I say 'lie down'...'it's bed time'. It may sound harsh but it is better than leaving the room & putting yourself & baby through cc. You remain in the room til baby is asleep. It works amazing for my DS...it's keeping him there that's the problem!

Might give that a go tonight. I just rocked her to sleep but I would bet every penny I have that she will be awake in 40 mins.

Hello all,

Really just marking my place - the thread had fallen of my 'threads you're on list'

Sorry to hear that some of you are still having a really tough time. We've had a really mixed bag over Christmas. Some terrible nights, a few averages nights and one pretty good one. Last night was truly awful though. Again the problem wasn't the number of wake ups but rather the length of them. Urgh. Really hope tonight's better..

Aw big hugs all round. Sorry all you guys are having a rubbish time. We WILL get there, I just know it. Congrats buggy on your sleeping success though!

broom congratulations on your engagement!! Of course your DP won't think that. I bet he thinks you look gorgeous even after months of sleep deprivation! I only did my legs for the first time in 18months this week . I think I might have had standards once .

spanner please don't feel bad. It's soooo important that you are well rested and when you are close to the edge, doing anything you can to regain your sanity is a good thing! Happy mums really do lead to happy children. And you've had a fabulous result and managed to teach your LO the invaluable baby life skill of self settling which is definitely something to be proud of!

wifey that's really interesting re the separation technique. I think I have been trying that method without realising. It's funny though, I wonder whether even me being there is too much stimulation for her as she just spends the entire time trying to climb out the cot to get closer to me even if I am completely ignoring her. If I put a hand in the cot she stands up and falls asleep standing up holding into it rather than lie down by herself. We are going to try Cc tonight as I'm not seeing any improvement at all, sigh. I did so want it to work without having to resort to cc but I think I've exhausted everything I have the energy to do. I just WISH she would have done it with one of these gentler solutions

pips gutted you can't use broccoli as a weaning food. I think I was really unimaginative and gave it to DD everyday for months cos it was the only food she could hold. DD's just turned 1. I think that means that's ok to night wean? Her appetite has gone through the roof since I stopped feeding at night. She must have got all her calories at night before as she's gone from eating literally nothing to 3 enormous meals a day plus snacks!

Good luck for tonight everyone x x

Sorry to hear it is so awful for you all at the moment. Can't remember who asked but no I haven't received my appointment through for the Paed Consult yet so plodding on. DS was poorly over Xmas (still is) and for about 4 nights he didn't feed at all and only woke once, settled easily! It was bliss and I was so thrilled but I now know it was because he was coming down with this dreadful bug Back to waking 5 times a night now and just 1 nap a day usually (ds is 6 mths).

I havent posted for ages and am not really up to date with how it is going for you all; just a quick skim of last page though and it sounds rough. It is the hardest thing, having those few days recently of Actual Sleep made me realise what a different person I used to be. It has also made it so much harder going back to shut sleep. I thought we'd cracked it and I actually felt devastated to be back at square 1.

All we can do is keep going, one day at a time and all that. Good luck tonight guys, I must turn my light out for the first shift. Might get 90 minutes if I'm lucky

Hey all, sorry to say but this post is going to be pretty depressing and I'll prob read it back and see how sad I actually am so please bear with me as maybe a rant will help somehow.
Where to start? Well past few days/nights have been awful how I am going still is beyond me. Little madam has been waking every half hour to an hour if I'm lucky and nothing seems to be really wrong with her. Last night was the worst I got three hours sleep and that was even broken sleep.
Sad thing is (and this is the part where I realise how sad and/or desperate I am) I travelled to see my family this morning after no sleep to spend new year eve with them but. Only because I live 103 miles away from them and my true friend who I've known since play group and I miss her deeply, and my friends where I live I feel are not true friends, one of them live next door to me and has invited our other friend and her family round Tomoz eve and my dh has to work till 1am so it was going to be me and my two girls alone......now I could be out of order by feeling a little hacked off with friend but I think it's cos I'm in a bad place in my head right now I feel isolated and feel friends I have are fake. So I'm at my families home away from my dh and although my eldest is happy I'm now on sofa with baby cos she can't settle in travel cot and I'm guessing sleep is going to be shit big time tonight.
Plus I have tests next weds as I have a cyst on my cervix which docs found when I fell pregnant but recently I've been losing blood for the past four weeks and they think it's related to cyst and I'm anaemic .
I just feel shit and lost rot now. I'm sorry if I sound sad and pathetic and out of order about my friends I just feel awful right now.
Does anyone think this is pnd I'm dealing with?

Hope everyone had a good Xmas and a good sleep tonight.
Sorry again for rant

I do sound horrible about friend.....it's up to her who she invites to her own house and doesn't have to invite me at all just cos I'm on my own.....like its her problem hey,
U guys must think I'm awful

Does your friend often do things like that birchy or is this just a one off? Tbh if I knew one of my friends was going to be on their own then I'd invite them round but maybe she thinks you'd rather have the sleep? You don't sound pathetic, you sound tired. Sorry to hear about the cyst. I hope everything is ok. Perhaps also go to your doctor to ask about pnd.

Imnot hope you an appointment soon.

I just keep saying to myself over and over it will get better at some point. It has too!
although at the moment DD is get worse daily by never mind

Thanks broom tbh the friend is abit cold at times so I shldnt be surprised. Guess its just me feeling lonely.
So things are bad for u?
I've managed two hours so far, hope u slept well.

X