Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

we've tried that star - it takes DP half an hour to get DS to sleep then he wakes as soon as he's put in his cot! We've tried warming the sheets and putting a muslin in that's been in my bra. He's 6 months old in 2.5 weeks, I guess we'll think about sleep training then :(

Sounds tough Spanner. You might just find that he improves of his own accord over the next couple of weeks. My DD's sleep is nowhere near as bad as it was around the 5 month mark. I think that if your DS was a pretty good sleeper before the dreaded 4 month sleep regression, then he'll probably come out of the other side.I know how horrible it is when you're in the middle of it though :(

Will you be able to get much of a break over Christmas? I'm hoping that we'll all have lots of willing grandparents, aunties and uncles who are desperate to take our LOs off our hands for a couple of hours

spanner sounds tough- dd2 is 5 months and regressing too!

Saying that she did sleep thru (till 5) this morning
Had the hv round as she is SO hit and miss with sleep. Hv said to wean (as she is a big baby and could do with solids)

Gave her a bit of baby porridge at lunch bur think im going to wait for another week as I don't think she's ready- was v interested and wanted more but stuck Tongue out as I fed her. I feel bad now for trying to wean too early

spanner completely understand where ur coming from its bloody hard and lack of sleep rreally makes things shitty. Hope u have a better night.
wifey same here I try not to think about it too much I understand that my Dh has a big responsibility in his job so know he needs sleep I guess I just wish he would at least offer on his day off. But saying that he did offer today to have while I have a sleep as I'm not well, where Lo nibbled on me I've now got an infection which is making me feel very poorly, have antibiotics but only first day on them today so still feeling rotten.
To top it off last night was hell, she went down at 8 then woke at 9, 10, 11.30 and then after that awake every ten mins sometimes half hour till 4am then finally slept till 7.30 I was burning up feeling dizzy and having to do this just took it out of me.
Am hoping for a better night please god just one night!!!

Hope everyone else has had better sleep.
X

birchey how awful- hope tonight goes better for you

Guys from my experience dp/ dh's need telling you need help in plain English and that's the only way they get the message. The main reason I believe they don't offer is lack of confidence- my dp does cleaning/ washing etc to avoid childcare as he is nervous- I make him join in anyway (just have to bite my Tongue when he does things wrong

buggy....the confidence thing I think is an issue with most daddies. My DH would say 'oo but you know what you are doing better than I do'.....'DS wants you'.
DS is our only child so I was / am still learning. I've been told not to 'push' them to bond..but I do find myself trying to involve DH so much more than I think he would like.
birchy.....hope you have a better night lovely...sounds like you need it more than most.

Hope your doing alright birchy, sounds really tough.

I'm still working on putting DD down awake. It's having no after on how often she wakes up at night but it does mean then getting her to bed is getting easier and easier. First night 51 mins til she went to sleep and tonight it took 8! I'm still stroking her and holding her arms but I'm going to start gradually doing that less then see how it goes.

She was up last night the usual 5 times but I'm feeling more positive that I might be able to gradually change things.

Well I think I need help, I actually don't think I can do this anymore even though I know I have to I just want to give up.
I'm making it worse cos I'm giving in too easy but I feel awful and just want to get some sleep. I put her down at 8 tonight and she is awake now, nothing I did would settle her but I didn't try long enough before offering breast and I'm not going to lie its cos I think she will sleep quicker. I'm weak and emotional wreck and I just want to find the strength and patience from somewhere to be able to get her into a sleep routine and so she sleeps longer than a couple of hours. I know we all want that, I'm nothing special and I'm lucky to beable to come here to rant and let out these feelings. I just dont know how much more of of 2-3 hour sleep a night I can take. I actually went to bed at 9 thinking I'd get at least 4hours......silly me.
Sorry guys know I'm looking like I'm feeling sorry for poor old me I don't mean to I just seriously am shattered and feel like throwing the towel in. Of course if I told Dh this I'd be the worst parent ever!

I really hope some of u guys if not all are having a better night......its still early so could be a long night. fingers crossed for u all.
Hate that I sound all sorry for myself but its how I'm feeling right now.

birchy just popped in to see how you guys are doing. I am so sorry it is this horrific for you right now. You are doing wonderfully well. If you werent coping you would be leaving dc to cry. Instead you are comforting her back to sleep when she wakes, which, for whatever reason, she needs at the moment. You are doing great.

I have started co sleeping and feeding whenever necessary, and bugger the consequences for now. I just needed sleep and so does ds. When I feel ready (less deranged from tiredness) I can think about a plan but for now I want to just survive.

Be kind to yourself and don't put pressure on yourself that it should somehow be better or different. Your baby would be like this whoever she had been born to, she is just lucky she had you to put up with it!

I do hope you feel better. Keep venting, it is terrifying how it can male you feel, I know x

Male= make

birchy your not a bad parent, just do what you have to for now to get some sleep. Have you tried sitting down with dp and telling him how you honestly feel. You sound like you could really do with some rl support at the moment. big hugs. It will eventually get better, it has to.

Bad night here too. Both dp and I have coughs and we kept waking up DD. she ended up in our bed from midnight. She decided to sleep horizontally and dp ended up downstairs. Poor thing woke up every time I coughed. We're going to try her in her own room tonight. Any tips?

birchy...you are NOT the worst parent ever. We have (I have) been where you are (in fact was last night) where we would through all text book advice out the window -literally-just for a few hours of sleep. I agree you need to speak to your DP or someone in RL for support. Us mummies are only human & sleep is just as vital (more vital) for us to function as it is baby or DP/DH.
broom....will this be your LOs first night in own room? I got my DS used to DH room during the day before I attempted night times. Naps in cot during the day..playtime in the bedroom etc.
Well...I have had this horrible sicky/dizzy/zombie feeling now for over a week now & DS has been unsettled again. So on Tuesday night when he cried I settled him in my bed...as I couldn't walk let alone remember the rules of night-waking! When he had settled I moved him in his bed...only for him to cry again. I settled him in my bed & that's where we both stayed all night! Last night..he slept ok til he started coughing & gagging. Once again..I was so ill & resorted to the easy option. I was asleep by 8:30pm & we slept til 7:15am. DH was no where to be seen so not only am I ill...sleep deprived & stressed..I am also dealing with my DS too.
It wouldn't be so bad but when DS is ill he will lock himself away so he can get the rest he needs!!
Sorry ladies for the rant!!

His room...not DH room!! (damn iPhone!!)

Can I just add that these unsettled nights seem to be when he hasnt had a day-time nap. Could that be connected or am I just clutching at straws for a reason???

wifey no I think a daytime nap helps sleep at night....well that's what a lot of people I know say and I have to agree if mine has a nap sleep seems to be better at night ( apart from last night).
imnot and broom agree that I need to talk to someone who can support me but where do I turn? Last night was horrific after I left mn I went to bed and lo was up from 11.30 till 2am crying, nothing would settle her in the end dh cuddled me and said ' right this has to stop I'm getting up and sorting her u stay here and try to rest' totally shocked me and he had to get up at 3.30 for work at 4.30 but he went and tried for an hour to settle her she was fine when he was with her and even fell asleep but as soon he left the room she screamed so it was agreed we would leave her crying and check on her every five mins, it was awful and lasted an hour so 4am when she finally took her dummy and fell asleep till 8.30. My dh stayed with me, spoke to me and said he understood why I would always try to get her to settle quick so she didn't wake him up and our eldest and he said its been a while since he had to get up and help out so I had to stop apologising to him and also I was crying lots and he cuddled me and said anyone who has no sleep is going to feel stressed and feel like they can't cope but together we will get through it. So really nice and helped reassure me.
It was the worse night, I felt awful letting her cry but she was fed, changed and seemed fine. Am I horrible for doing this?

wifey hope your feeling better?
I was on the mend I thought but feel rotten again today but maybe cos lack of sleep, feel light headed and sick. I feel for you though cos feeling so poorly and having to deal with little one is hardwork.

Just want to say thank you all for the support, when times are tough I always feel I can come on here and have a rant, cry, moan, share happy times too it's somewhere for us all to turn and even though none of really know each other it's great that we can share ideas,offer support, and just relate to each other. So a big thank you!!!

Oh a funny thing though little madam woke up the neighbours from screaming at 3am! Oops I have apologised and they are fine. I seem to apologise a lot!

Dreading tonight but hoping for us all that we get some well deserved sleep.
X

I'm really glad you've had a bit of a talk with DH birchy. I think it makes such a difference if you feel like your tackling it together. And please dont feel bad about leaving her to cry. Your obviously at the end of your tether and your just doing what you need too so that you all get some sleep. You're not doing it because your selfish, your doing it because you need too. She needs the sleep as much as you do.

So we put DD in her Moses basket in her cot in her room. Put we down awake again ad it took 11 mins til she was asleep. Sill amazed that I can actually put her down awake, at one point I never thought it was possible. I imagine she'll end up in our bed again later but I really do want to co sleep long term. Last night when I woke up she was under the covers horizontally with her face in my armpit, I just don't think it's safe anymore. I'm too tired to keep her safe I think.

Fingers crossed everyone gets a bit of sleep.

DD woke up 11 times last night from 6.30 until 5 when I brought her into our bed. I feel like a zombie, like I'm going to e physically sick from being so tired. I don't get why she's waking up so much. It's not because she's hungry because she won't feed when I try that. She always goes down awake now. She's very easily settled it usually takes less than 5 mins but I really need longer than an hour or two of sleep together

Broom That sounds awful. I'm not surprised you're feeling rubbish today. Is there any chance of you getting some rest today?

Remind me how old your DD is again? Could she be teething?

I know it's really hard to find any positives after a night like that, but the fact you can put her down awake is great. We're still miles away from that with DD.

We're having a really mixed bag at the moment. Last night was a good one - only one wake up all night and straight back down after a feed. Unfortunately she did start the day at 5:45, but I'll suck that up if it means have a decent night. However the night before was a shocker - loads of wake ups, including the usual two hour one. Urgh. We WILL all get there in the end!

Fingers crossed we all get some good nights over Christmas.

Oo broom....what an awful night for you. is there any chance of any help today so you can rest...even if you don't sleep? Could your LO be teething? My DS can notch up a lot waking times due to teething.
star....your night sounded very good!
My DS again didn't have a nap yesterday so he was in bed by 7pm...I went to bed straight after him! He has got a cough again so he cried out twice before 10pm but settled straight away. I'm still not well & now the DUB is back so I am struggling with that.
When DS woke at 10:30pm I was so ill I took him in with me & he settled til 7:45am. Sounds good but he woke me up with a diarrhea nappy which went everywhere!
We're staying at home today as I have work tomorrow so we can rest the best we can & hopefully encourage a day-time nap so he settles better tonight. FX

Sounds like a good night star. Do you know what I just don't get? Why some nights are good, some ok and some are terrible. I swear I'm doing the same things every day and night so why can her sleep vary so much? DD is 5 months and always sort of acts like she's teething, red cheeks, very very dribbley and chews everything but she's been like that for a while so not sure.

wifey that sounds like a delightful way to wake up DP has taken DD to tesco so I can get some rest but I struggle to get back to sleep once I've woke up. DP's dad is coming round later which means several hours of small talk which I'm really not looking forward too

broom it sounds like teething. It took my girl ages to actually have any teeth but she was teething for ages it seemed so don't rule it out. Hope you have a better night tonight.
Last night was a better one only up at 2am for a feed I can handle that!
Have a feeling tonight won't be good, she has rosy red cheeks and dribbling like mad her top teeth are looking as if they want to come through have given calpol but just have that bad feeling u know?

wifey feel for u, not only an awful way to wake up but the fact ur still poorly too and having to get up with lo. I'm still not the best and think that's why I'm dreading tonight.
I'm also finding switching off once in bed is a struggle, took me over an hour to finally get off to sleep....thankfully madam didn't wake till 6am but its frustrating that she slept well but I couldn't turn off. Anyone else doing this?

Well I'm off to bed to hopefully get a few hours.
Hope everyone gets a good night.xxx

DD thinks it's playtime. She's currently squealing in her cot and generally refusing to sleep... Why on earth does she keep having these two hours of wakefulness in the night? Doesn't she know I need to sleep?

I'm with you on the inconsistency Broom. I hate the fact that she's so unpredictable. Why are some nights so good and others so terrible?

Sounds like you had a good night yesterday Birchy. Hope you're getting a repeat tonight. Isn't it amazing how everything feels better after a proper night of sleep!

Hi all. Please can i join. I have an 18 month old who used to sleep like a dream but past month has been horrendous and we are up at least 2 hours every night from anything after 2am. I put his to bed at 8pm and use the cc method which in 5 days we have got down to 10 mins last night. Until he screamed the place down at 3pm. I have to getup with him then as the neighbours start shouting and banging on the wall. Fair enough its a racket but its not like he does it on purpose. Hes a lovely little boy in the daytime generally but im now beginning to wonder if hes sleep deprived, he does not nap well and wondering wether to try cc with that. Unfortunately he i am sleep deprived too and find even when he asleep i cant :-(

CC is hard by the way but im finding that the putting him to bed part is working. Is it true of the nap thing. Im sat here almost in tears, soft bugger that i am.

Hello everyone. Sorry been quiet for ages. RUBBISH week and been in hiding. It was DD's 1st birthday and I found the whole thing a bit traumatic running up to it, just having flashbacks to how bloody awful it was this time last year and have been in floods of tears most of the week (in between kicking myself for being so ungrateful since I do actually have a happy healthy 1 year old).

Sleep no better, DD has seamlessly gone from on illness to another and it's been atrocious. Evening are back to waking every half an hour (sob) and we are still co-sleeping and feeding all night. DH has given up and sleeps in a duvet on the living room floor. Ferber is lying next to me but illness keeps getting in the way.

chezzie poor you. I remember DS was exactly like that this time last year at 18mo and I put it down to the new baby but I read a lot of people saying there's an 18mo sleep regression. We went back to CCing him too, also for naps. It took about 2 weeks (harder for naps cos they are a bit more awake) but it did work and he went back to sleeping well again. I'm with you though, it's grim. Is there anyone around over Xmas who could do the naps for you?

wifey I hope you and Ds are feeling better

birchy that night sounds amazing! Up once.. Am . Yesi know exactly what you mean though about lying awake when you could be sleeping. It drives me crazy.

broom 11 times . Hope last night was better, you deserve some sleep (and a medal for not collapsing!)

Happy Christmas everyone. I know what I want... x

Oh mrsd I hope your alright. I get birth flashbacks whenever I go to the dentist or doctor and end up trying to hold back tears. Really hope your ok, sending big hugs.

Welcome chez. Have the usual welcome pack of and matchsticks.

Star DD did that last night too. She went down at 7, woke up 3 times, then at 2 decided it was morning and wouldn't settle back to sleep so she ended up in bed with us again. She still had a few more wakings but easier to deal with as I didn't have to get out of bed.

I also just wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas. Fingers crossed Santa will bring us all some unbroken sleep.