Let's all meet here for a sleep deprivation support group

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I though it might be helpful to have a general thread with survival tips for dealing with the exhaustion and misery of the long or short term effects of lack of sleep. I bet we can all find someone worse off than ourselves, and that's always a help, hmm?

My little tips for making things more bearable:

Make sure you are warm enough when you have to get up in the night. Have dressing gown and slippers by your bed if neccesary. This also helps you get back to sleep quickly, should you be fortunate enough to have the opportunity!

Have lovely breakfast things in. I always have expensive cereal in the cupboards Just For Me.

Anyone else? Hang in there everyone, I am having a very down day today which is what inspired me to start this.

Hi all, regarding sleeping on front, my friend was told if they can roll then it's ok and my other friend who is a hv puts her dd to sleep on her front. Do whatever you think instincivley is right.

Dd2 is sleeping great again - down at 7 feed at 4 then back till 7- she'll drop the 4 feed when the clocks change again (touch wood). I truly believe her crap sleeping was down to a cold+ me reacting wrong+ teething.

She is over her cold, is on granuals for teeth plus calpol before bed when it's bad and I am trying not to panic too much.

I panic as I'm worried shell wake dd1 so I rush in at first grunt- so now I leave it for a min to see if it's just a murmur. Then once she's been fed I go down stairs for a wee- that way I can't hear the monitor for a few minutes and it's quiet when I go back to bed. Sounds strange but it works'

Oh and my heating goes of at 10 so I wrap her up warn b4 I go to bed, then comes on at 7 so no waking due to clanking

Sorry to hear you had such a bad night birchy. Is there anyone who can help out to give you a rest?
buggy...that sounds a great night...well done babybuggy!
My DS was a monkey going to sleep last night...didn't settle after feed so put him in his bed..he cried for about 30 seconds before settling down. That was 8:20pm.He slept til 6:45am . He did wake once & DH went in to him..but he was just coughing & went back off.

Sorry to hear things are so difficult Birchy. If it makes you feel any better my house is always a tip and I only have one. Try talking to your DP when your both calm. Does he help out at night at all? I really think being sleep deprived is more than a good excuse to let thins skip a bit house wise.

I could do with some advice. I went out for a meal with girls from work tonight and left DP to put DD to bed. First time he's done t for ages as he's never usually home in time. She screamed non stop for an hour and half and refused to sleep for him. I had to come back home to calm her down. Tomorrow night in supposed to be going to works Xmas do with DP and leaving DD with MIL. Should I not go? Is it too soon? Any suggestions for making it go a little smoother? Also DP feels miserable and useless now

broom....I would firstly reassure DP that DD is used to you doing bedtime routine & therefore she is bound to be a little upset. Reassure him he did everything right & she will get used to you both doing it.
As far as MIL babysitting...try spending the day there tomorrow so your DD gets familiar with her & make sure MIL follows your bed time routine to the letter. They both may surprise you & then you get the night out you deserve. MIL would call if there was a problem or felt out of her depth. I have had the same issues..

Sorry...just read that back & I sound very bossy! Sorry

Thanks wifey. DD is usually very good for MIL, she's had her quite a few times but only during the day. Will give it a try, see how it goes.

Trying to reassure DP but he seems to be taking it really personally and he wants me to be able to go out occasionally so he feels less guilty about playing football every week.

My DH is the same...but to be honest I have been doing DS bed time routine for so long now that it would be unsettling for DS and me if he did it instead. DH is the fun one in our house so when DS sees or hears him he thinks it's playtime. Me on the other hand is the one who does routine..kisses boo-boos etc (for DS not DH)
Hope it does work out well tomorrow...let me know!

broom and wifey my Dh used to help out a lot giving me breaks here and there and settling Lo sometimes better than me! But it seems to have worn off, I do the lot now unless like wen it was my 30th and I went for a meal with friends but after the past week I don't think he will offer help again.....not because he is nasty but he just doesn't think anymore it seems he thinks cos lo is 24 weeks now I should be able to cope with it all by now. No sleep, taking care of kids and house but I actually struggle. I think talking would help but then I can't be doing with the whole I work full time business!!!
Sorry didnt mean to turn this into a rant about me!
I was meant to say that wen Dh did help and lo struggled to settle at first lots of encouragement to Dh helped him, don't give up trying. And hope ur eve out goes well.

On a good note little madam slept from 7.15 till 2.30!!!! And then up again now. She has just bitten down on me though I screamed out in pain......no one else woke up! Any advice on how to discourage this? She has two bottom teeth....ouch!

wifey wen I have bad nights or days I dont really have anyone who I trust to have her for a bit while I rest no family round us and friends have own families. Just have to get on With it hey.
Looks like we are up now though so off for a cuppa.
Hope all slept well....fingers crossed.xx

Dd had s bad night up at 12,2,4 but fed then slept- think it's to do with her injections she had on thursday.

Re the biting- stop feeding and put her down and walk away for a minute. Don't laugh! I did once- fuck never had pain like it!!! But she stopped dd1 was 10 months thou

Sorry not to have been around, lately..real life took over for a bit. Sleep has been better here. DD went down at 830 hte last two nights and, apart from a feed a 1230-1ish slept til 7ish. Possibly because, blw-er though I am, I decided to see if upping the solids would help. So, I spoonfed her a yoghurt the first night and porridge last night for tea. Might be coincidence but I don't give a bugger...just enjoying it while it lasts!

I'm exactly the same birchy....I dont leave my DS apart from 4 hours a week when I go to work. I have never had outside help from anyone. DH was 'hands-off' a lot while DS was little but has got loads better! It's hard isn't it to keep on going...but somehow u mummies do manage it. Made of something special.

Yes we must be wifey cos we do a bloody lot!!!
God I'm pissed off, sorry I need a rant before I explode.
Spent the day baking with eldest and my step son, it was lovely and Dh had time time with Lo. But I did all that that comes with baking.....clearing up after!
Then did dinner, tidy living room and dh bathed Lo while I helped ice cakes with other two and step son had to go home so while they have gone my eldest knocked kinect off tv Lo screaming I end up shouting over the top at eldest and after it calms we do cuddle but then come upstairs to put Lo to bed and her cot isn't made ( Dh changed sheets and said he put new lot on but what he meant was he kinda tucked a sheet on and hadn't put it on properly and no covers either. So again had to leave Lo screaming while I sorted it mumbling to self about how I guess this is my duty and its these little things that I need help with blah blah blah.
It doesn't seem that bad now but I'm just hacked off. I really feel unappreciated and that Dh thinks I do naf all.
I text him and said ' a strong cider please' know I won't drink it but I bloody fancy one now. All worked up.
I shall try putting her down when she bites but not sure if it will work, she is only 24 weeks but worth a shot. I now also have a lumpy breast out of nowhere?

Anyway I'm sorry for proper shitty rant.
Here's to a good night sleep!!!
Xx

Hi all sorry not been around either, phone broke so no mn .

No success, in fact worse here. Been a bad week for DD as I'm settling her in nursery so she's super unsettled plus it only took a couple of days to pick up an illness, now she's been full of snot and fever again too and sleeping terribly. In fact evenings are back to waking up every half an hour and overnight last night she basically screamed for hours until I worked out she wanted to sleep upright on my chest cos she couldn't breathe (brain working v slowly).

birchy also suddenly have a biter on my hands (or rather my nips) In fact I've just put her down in her cot and now she's having a knaw on that instead. She's more lazy and doesn't open her mouth properly when she pulls off. Did the put down thing along with a stern-ish 'no' with DS when he was 24 weeks and it worked ok tho.

Hi, posting and running off to bed. DD's good sleeping streak only lasted 2 nights, then back to every 3 hrs last night. Ho hum. Luckily only bitten the once, so that's one positive at least. No time to post more now, will look in tomorrow. love to all .xx

Evening everyone...having a mini-nightmare here tonight.
DS went to bed at 7pm...has since woken up 3 times!! This is unlike him. He is definitely over the sore throat etc he had last week.

I suspect it's because when he was ill last week we had him in with us. ( I know...I know...rod for my own back). I am determined tonight though that he stays in his own bed...which so far is going ok. I am going in when he cries...telling him bedtime..or saying nothing & leaving the room. I'm in for a long night aren't I?

Mrs ill try that with the biting, anything is worth a shot.
wifey how's ur night been? Not too bad I hope.
Mine was fine until 1am she had a feed and from that point up at anything from ten mins to half hour, I kept strong till now where I've given in and am feeding....only because I'm shattered and can't take it no more. I'm emotional and frustrated.
Dh is pissing me off lots lately, he has a day off today (Monday) and last night I said could he get up with Lo wen she wakes for a feed (usually only give her one feed during night) and give her a bottle so I can get some sleep. His answer was he would if she was up every two hours the night before and I was struggling but since she slept ok sat night thru to Sunday then he thinks I should be ok.......plus apparently he needs to prepare himself cos he can't sleep properly knowing he has to get up with her and also he is only early shifts this week so he is still getting up at 5.30 this morning to get use to the early mornings so needs his sleep. Ok so yes I do understand this, he works hard and early Morns are a killer....as we all bloody know! But am I being unreasonable for feeling pissed at him??:
Anyway he will be up soon so he can taker over, feel angry that I have to be struggling and at breaking point for him to help during night. But is this the tiredness talking?

Hope everyone got a decent sleep.
We are off to see Santa in morn, us meaning me and the girls Dh is doing his Xmas shopping.
Lots of sleepy thoughts for everyone!
X

I'm awake birchy. I don't think YBU to want some help from DH. I know I'm luckier than most with DP as he does loads but I don't think asking him to do one night occasionally is asking too much. And saying that he doesn't need to help because you've had a slighter better night sounds like an excuse IMO. I genuinely believe that staying at home with the kids is just as hard work as going to work. The way I see it is if DP makes a mistake the worst that could happen is he breaks a spreadsheet/makes a spelling mistake on an email whereas I could drop the baby and actually hurt her. So unless he's a brain surgeon then your DH is being a bit unfair.

DD had fairly good night. Dream feed at 11 then up at 4. Trying to convince her to go back to sleep now.

We went to the Xmas party on Sat night and had a night away from DD for the first time. Apparently she was pretty good for MIL and MIL seems to have really enjoyed herself.

broom....that's great that you got to go out as planned & MIL & baby were ok!
birchy....I have the same feelings towards my DH sometimes as he doesn't do nights with DS...never has in 17 months.
DS woke up at 3:30am & in my tired state took him into our bed...were he slept soundly til 7:45am. Although I wasn't going to do that...I was pleased he slept til then.

Urgh, Not having a great night here. We've had a few improved nights of late but are now back to the extended two hour night wake ups. Just in time for Christmas and a trip to stay with relatives -grand . It's going to be so stressful, I already know I'm going to spend the whole time worrying about her keeping people awake all night...

Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time birchy. I don't think YABU in asking for help from your DH. Being a parent is a two man job. Can you sit down and have a chat with him and explain the how the long term sleepless nights are making you feel? Unfortunately one improved night of sleep doesn't suddenly make that feeling go away.

Oh, and wifey - how have you not throttled your DH?! Can't believe he's never done a night in 17 months. He must have a bloody good excuse!

Trust me star....I have come very close. He said/says he has to get enough sleep so he doesn't mess up at work. The first few months were very hard...especially after a long labour & I was ill til DS was nearly a year old....but me & DS have a great routine & now I realise I don't need or want his help. I deal with everything from DS teething...being poorly...you name it & I am the person who deals with it. It is hard..but if I talk to much about it I realise it's wrong & upset myself....so I won't.

My DS is 22 weeks and from 16 weeks onwards went from waking once or twice for a feed overnight to waking 2hrly, however for the last 2 weeks he's waking hourly! I'm lazy taking the path of least resistance and feeding him as I can get him back to sleep in 10 minutes that way, but I'm so tired that it's beginning to affect my health :( I've lost my appetite and quite a bit of weight - 12kg in the last 3 months, quite often I only eat a piece of toast in a day and I really have to force that down!

I've been to my GP who tried to suggest I have PND (no, I'm perfectly happy, just knackered!) and I tried contacting the HV for advice but they've closed for Christmas.

The most frustrating thing is DS went to stay with my parents overnight 2 weeks ago as DP took me away overnight and he slept from 9-5.30! So it must be something I'm doing wrong :(

Wifey - . That sounds tough. Your DH is lucky to have such an understanding partner. I know what you mean about having your own routine though. My DH is a good un when it comes to settling DD but I often think it's simpler to do it myself.

Hello Spanner - sorry to hear you're having a hard time at the moment. Does it make any difference if your DP goes in to try and resettle during the night? Just wondering if the fact that your LO knew you weren't around contributed to the good night of sleep for the grandparents?