Routine @ 2 weeks old?

[ClaireG77]

You'll probably think this is a silly question, but should I start a bedtime routine for my 18 day old DD? I.e. putting her to bed at 7pm, dream feeding or feeding on demand etc? Would this help her sleep more?

At the moment, we feed her on demand approx every 2.5 hours or so bf during day (though not sure this is working as she feeds almost constantly 6am - midday-ish then 6pm for most of evening and then screams to have some formula also) and FF at night (because I'm too tired to sit there for another several hours while she BF's). She sleeps solidly during the day between feeds.

I had 3.5 hours sleep last night as she wouldn't settle after her 2.15am feed until 5.45am then I had to get up at 7am.

Been reading Gina Ford but just don't think it's for us, at the mo anyway.

Thanks for any advice.

C xx

Sounds like you are doing great. I have a 3 week old Dd and am waiting til she is at least 6 weeks before trying to get her into a good sleeping pattern. This is from the information I have read on various websites like babycentre and mumsnet. I did read Gina Ford when I had ds1 and personally it wasn't for me. Much preferred the baby whisperer

Just not sure how much longer I can survive on only 3/4 hours a night sleep, though I guess everyone else does. I haven't heard of the Baby Whisperer - might take a look, thanks.
C xx

2 weeks is really early days! Do you have to get up at 7am? Is there anyway you can nap during the day whilst she is asleep?

Re the FF at night, I'm not an expert, but this can have an impact on your milk supply as the milk-producing hormones are apparently higher at night. First time round I didn't really master feeding lying down but with my second child it was a godsend, meant I could at least doze while feeding.

It does get better I promise :)

Feeding lying down has been fab for me, I can get much more sleep that way. OP are you able to sleep when your baby sleeps? Can your OH help out with night feeds as you're FFing?

I'm not big into routines and had a constantly feeding dd. I got a bedside cot and did night feeds lying down - I could doze while she fed - really made a difference. Do sleep when she does, don't feel you have to be up for the day at 7am - stay in jammies and sleep with her when she goes down mid morning. I sometimes found if I was beyond tired I could lie down with her, give her a feed and we would both drift off for a couple of hours in the afternoon - bliss.
If you can have your other half do a late evening feed so you can get a longer period of sleep. Sod the housework - just rest. By 6 weeks you'll be starting to settle into a routine, by 12 weeks you will feel so much better. Throw Gina Ford away.

Sounds like you're doing great, enjoy her, the days might drag but the weeks and months (and years) fly by. x

Try feeding on demand and leave the formula out for now as it's a bit early (you'll make less milk and could become a vicious cycle).

Use a sling in the day, go out for early afternoon walks. The idea of the sling is to keep her near you so she gets comfort from you. Rest of the time, sleep when she does in the day!

At night keep her close to you so night feeds are minim effort.

In a few weeks she'll fall into a pattern - in the first 6 weeks there are loads of growth spurts so she'll be hungry. It spreads out a bit after 6 weeks.

We did this with DS and he found his own routine by about 10 weeks. Not that it stuck! They change so much in the early months so hard to keep a strict routine. I think the same wake up and bedtimes helps though - DS fell into a bedtime at about 4 weeks (although we didn't clock that as he became more alert at 6-8 weeks he needed a calmer environment so he got overtired. Baths were a no at bedtime until 5 months!)

Thanks all, will try to answer all the questions!

Haven't tried co-sleeping - too worried as I'm a heavy sleeper now because I'm so tired. I just don't think bf'ing is right for me at night - I know all the supply issues it may cause but DD has not got a great latch & gave me blood blisters last time I lay down to bf her. The midwives accepted what I wanted to do but the HV & I fell out today over it. I've combination fed from the day we got home from the hospital (she'd gone 7 hours without a feed and DH & I panicked as she then wouldn't latch).

Hubby has gone back to work after Pat Leave today so is in the spare room to get some sleep so it's me only right now (he'd sleep through her screaming anyway as he has done for the past week).

I don't normally get up at 7am but the HV has a habit of coming early & it takes me several hours to feed her before I can get showered/dressed. We don't get out of the house before 1pm if I get up any later.

Today is the first day I've tried sleeping while she did this afternoon (had friends round this morning so couldn't then) but a) couldn't sleep b) phone kept ringing and c) kept remembering things I had to do so kept getting up off the sofa (she currently naps in her boucy chair ).

She's currently too small for our sling so can't use that until she puts on a lb or two.

Just wondered if her not settling in the Moses basket at night had something to do with her napping in her bouncy chair?

I'm worrying because I'm such a crap sleeper, I don't want her to have the same issues.

Thanks, C xx

really worth unplugging or switching off phone when you are trying to nap in the day time. I used to have the sofa set up with pillow/duvet etc so it was easy to just lie down and snooze if DD was sleeping. A real god send in the early days.

I would say (and we are all different so feel free to ignore me) that getting the latch sorted should be your number one priority - as she gets bigger it will get easier, and she may well sleep better once this is sorted. Take to your bed, ignore all calls and just feed. Make sure she is on properly, don't let her suck at the end of your nipple. It will get easier and once bfeeding is sorted it will make life easier, no making up bottles, sterilizing and all that.

DD2 refused to sleep between 2 and 6 for a few weeks. I had to get up due to DD1. I would not have got up for anyone else. And I include midwives, hv, and even the Pope in that.

What I did was, from about 4 weeks, bath, feed, bed (be that moses basket or cot in your/her room) at 7pm, after dd1 was down.

That meant that whatever happened during the day, and I have always fed on demand, we had a "starting point" if you like for night time that we could always work from.

First couple of weeks are hard as you are sat up all evening feeding, but it gets less and less. DD2 now 19 weeks and has been sleeping from 7 since around 12 weeks. That was the only routine I ever implemented, and I was still feeding on demand, but with the reference of the bath as a signal it was bed time, and always offering a feed then. Does that make sense?

Sadly, it could be the FF that makes her so demanding of you the rest of the time as your body is out of kilter with her needs.

Particularly if you don't feed during the night hours when your body gets the strongest signals about supply and demand.

Could you feed her lying down?

Claire, sorry to be harsh but why are you only getting 3/4 hours of sleep a night? Why don't you go to bed earlier?

Ditch the formula, it'll undermine your milk supply. Also, the cluster feeding you describe is totally normal, just get comfy, and feed her, switching sides every half an hour or so. Find a decent bf support group or ring someone like the ABM and get her latch sorted. If she has a dodgy latch mixed feeding will make it worse as she will "bottle suck" on your nipples and this will not only make you sore, but undermine your supply as it doesn't stimulate milk production properly.

And yes, she's way to early for a routine, she can't go to bed at 7 yet, she needs to feed until 9 or 10 each night, not be tucked up away from you.

Just feed her, get some proper help to improve her latch, and enjoy your baby.

Thanks - TT was mentioned by two people in the early days but she can stick her tongue out so it was discounted in the end. She takes several attempts to latch, but then quickly 'relatches' herself uncomfortably - worse on my left than my right. The midwives told me they would send a good bf'ing counsellor round (I had a useless one first & refuse to see her again) but she never showed so I must chase that up tomorrow.

We have several phones around the house so switching each one off is not an option but I guess I can learn to ignore it. I just don't feel human unless I'm up & dressed & seem to have so much to do (and want to do) that I continue to get up. Thursday this week is the first day that I can stay in bed.

Guess I'm making excuses so will try all your suggestions, promise! Just not looking forward to no sleep at all because she'll be feeding all night & still hungry :(

C xx

Tell your HV to come later in the day, cancel friends if you need to sleep - they'll understand, wish I'd taken that advice.

Don't worry, you aren't passing on sleep issues to your baby, she's settling into knowing what is day and what is night - I know on so little sleep it's hard to see beyond the next few hours and even hearing that things will be better by 6 weeks and 12 weeks feels like a lifetime...I really really struggle those first few months, as do the majority of us!

In terms of sorting out a night time routine, the only thing we instgated in terms of routine (after GF, baby whisperear, every book apart from Penelope Lech destroyed any confidence I had in myself and my instincts) was a feed, a bath, a feed - we settled DS in his moses basket in the sitting room with us rather than putting him to bed, but I think started trying to settle him in a bedroom at about 6 weeks. He had bad colic and the bath really helped calm him down - make the water slightly hotter than you expect it needs to be, and to be honest the bath before bed has helped the rest of his life so far (he's about to turn 3) and was the only time in the otherwise horrid evenings when all was calm and lovely in our house!

just my tuppence - but it is just a phase, you will come out the other side and you're doing a fantastic job

There is nothing that is as important as you getting enough sleep and DD being fed.

Arrange visitors to suit you, and get them to stick a wash on and make you a cuppa.
DH needs to pick up the slack for another month or so at least.
Eat quick to prepare food, tell the HV to come at your convenience or not at all, and get your feet up on the sofa for a few days. Sleep when DD sleeps (not sure why you're ing at her being in the bouncy chair, mine slept in theirs in the daytime until they were a few months old).

Who do you have friends and family wise to push DD round the park for an hour in the afternoon while you sleep? Start asking now.

Alternatively, swap the FF to between 7 and 11, get DH to do it and you sleep then.

(disclaimer don't have any feeding tips but think those have been really well answered above, just wanted you to know a) you're not alone and b) bathtime can be lovely, just don't worry about making it part of a set routine yet)

Pull the phone line out of the wall when you want to sleep.

Ds 7 weeks is nodding off on on my boob right now. Can I ask why you are choosing to ff at night? Surely it's much more hassle?

Going to bed earlier doesn't stop her screaming & keeping me awake - so I'd still only get sleep between 11 & 2ish which is when she sleeps.

C xx

I'd agree with what others have said, but also agree with Starlight that you need to embrace an earlier bedtime. If you got 3.5 hours sleep last night then you didn't go to bed until about midnight, right? When did your DD go to sleep, because there may be a number of extra hours you can get there.

Oh, cross post. That's still an extra hour though. Every bit counts.

Btw try staying in bed tomorrow feed when you need to but just relax and doze.