Routine @ 2 weeks old?

[ClaireG77]

You'll probably think this is a silly question, but should I start a bedtime routine for my 18 day old DD? I.e. putting her to bed at 7pm, dream feeding or feeding on demand etc? Would this help her sleep more?

At the moment, we feed her on demand approx every 2.5 hours or so bf during day (though not sure this is working as she feeds almost constantly 6am - midday-ish then 6pm for most of evening and then screams to have some formula also) and FF at night (because I'm too tired to sit there for another several hours while she BF's). She sleeps solidly during the day between feeds.

I had 3.5 hours sleep last night as she wouldn't settle after her 2.15am feed until 5.45am then I had to get up at 7am.

Been reading Gina Ford but just don't think it's for us, at the mo anyway.

Thanks for any advice.

C xx

Okay, this is what I did.

I went to bed as soon as DH got in. He brought me the baby for feeds until midnight and then I took over from then.

Usually by midnight I had had at leat 3 hours. What I got between midnight and 7am was usually another 4.

Am loathe to say it, but the bottle is not going to help with the latch...she is learning that she can get milk without the work, and this won't help with her maintaining the effort in her latch. Sorry

I think you're being too hard on yourself. DD is only 2 weeks old.

Ask HV to come later
Ask any friends to come in the afternoon
If you are only getting 3/4 hours at night, you have to sleep more during the day. It really is that simple. You cannot survive on only 3/4 hours.

Tomorrow just concentrate on feeding and sleep and don't worry about anything else.

Breastfeeding at night will help both you and baby sleep, you should sleep when baby sleeps during the day. 2 things which helped me cope- this will pass, one night your baby will sleep all night, and be kind to yourself, sleep is THE most important thing for you right now, everything else can wait. Well done!

Hello congrats on your new dd!!

I like routines but didn't really establish one until dd was 8 wks however I don't think there is any harm in having a bedtime routine in as much as bath, sleepsuit, milk etc. Also have you got a calming music cd such as baby motzart for nighttime?

I didn't co-sleep unless it was unintentional when I fell asleep when bfing dd!!! I found my dd and myself slept better when she was in her moses basket next to my bed. I also didn't want to end up with a baby who couldn't settle unless I was there iyswim?

Its still very early days so try and trust your instincts and I am sure you and your dd will be fine!!

The bottle at night means you wont be making milk at night which is the best time. If you stop the bottle you'll get a couple of nights of manic feeding probably as she feeds to increase your supply. Speak to a BF counsellor ASAP.

In the early weeks I got into a routine of getting up and dressed with DH as he was there to hold DS so I could eat/shower. Made me feel human. Then the rest of the day I'd either be on the sofa or out for a short walk.

The day naps in the chair won't dictate how she sleeps at night - day sleep is different. At night she'll want to be near you because it's colder, quieter, darker etc.

Just wanted to add your not alone. Everyone is different and you will find what works for you. I do think that mixed feeding is the worst of both worlds though.

I survived the early weeks by:
Not being dressed for the health visitor!
If you can just shower and put pjs back on.
Having amazing support from health visitor and from dh. I would cluster feed all evening while he fetched me things
Spend a few days tucked up in bed. This will give you time to sleep when dd sleeps and work on your supply.
I didn't originally have confidence to co-sleep. When ds woke up I would take him to the living room and watch a box set whilst feeding and feeding until he fell back asleep. I tended to feed until
Midnight and then again for a couple of hours before 7am. Started to look forward to during the night as just us time and seeing mcsteamy
Couldn't of done this without sleeping during the day.

You have to do whatever works for you. I would say to step away from Gina Ford though. You can't spoil a new born! At two weeks your dd will still be getting used to being out of the womb.

If you don't want to co-sleep I recommend some white noise. Ds slept better when the bathroom fan was humming. Health visitor said babies are used to lots of noise in the womb and it is lonely and quiet without our heartbeat etc in the Moses basket.

Oh, meant to add. From 6 weeks I have expressed at half 9 and dh has done the last feed before bed. This lets me sleep from 10ish for around 4 hours. Despite co-sleeping initially ds settles fine for dh and will happily sleep in his moses until the 2-3am feed. Would also highly recommend getting on amazon and buying food for the soul. It made me feel empowered and helped dh get on board with bf.

Food of love! Just making up book titles

www.thefoodoflove.org/

I just wanted to add what worked for me.

Never bothered doing more than brushing my teeth before the health visitor arrived. I am sure they are used to seeing tired new mums in their pjs in the middle of the day!!

I never had visitors as I didnt live near anyone I knew. I didnt realise at the time that this was actually a blessing as now that I have moved closer to friends and family I now realize that lots of visitors come with unsolicited, well meaning advice that may undermine your own instincts. I made phonecalls and browsed on mumsnet during feeds to get some human contact once DH went back to work.

One of the other blessings of having no visitors was that I was free to sit on the sofa and watch box sets of dvds. Made it through several seasons of TV shows!! Only stopped doing this after the feeding marathons settled down when DS was around 5 weeks. After this I started making little trips out during the day and went to baby group/baby clinic etc. Now he is 16 weeks I haven't had a chance to watch TV for the last month or so...so catch up on your favourite shows now!!

I had groceries delivered, lots of soups, yogurts, fruit, biscuits. DH tried to cook me a meal for lunch/dinner when he could and left it for me to reheat (he worked long hours until late at night) so I had one proper meal each day.

My advise would be to only have visitors that will not judge you, while you are sitting in your pjs on the sofa. And visitors that will also help by cooking you dinner, holding the baby while you shower etc.

Also if you want to keep bf for any length of time, try and keep up with her feeding needs. She will not feed all the time in a few months and I am still ebf my son and if is so useful not having to deal with bottle sterilizing etc.

Also my son still sleeps (very well) during the day in his swing/chair at 16 weeks when we are at home. He has no problem sleeping in his cot at night, in spite of this.

I am now transitioning him to his cot during the day (as he is outgrowing his swing/chair!!) now and we are getting there gradually! Do what works for you and worry about later when it happens. The priority now is that your DD feeds and sleeps well and so do you!

I think you're making things difficult for yourself.

If you have loads of phones, turn them all off bar one that you keep next to you and turn that one off when it's nap time.

Practice practice practice bfing laying down, doing it once and then quitting is not helpful to you or baby.

Stop FF. it's not going to help with the latch or the hunger.

Cluster feeding at night is totally normal. DD used to be on my boob from 6-11 every night constantly. From about 6 weeks this meant she slept for longer stretches.

Remember your baby is 2 weeks old. Her stomach is the size of a walnut. She needs feeding often.

Hi, congratulations on your new DD. How did last night go? What worked for DD and I was:

• DH taking charge from 7pm with cuddles, bath etc while I went to bed early. He woke me for the next feed and I took over
• DH in charge from any early morning wakings (say from 5ish) with cuddles again, so I got another couple of hours before he went to work. That still gave him 6-7 hours uninterrupted sleep in the night, plenty to go to work on
• trusted visitors were asked to take the baby out in the pram for at least an hour while I kipped, and others to sit with the baby while I kipped. My conversation was crap anyway and it was the baby everyone wanted to see
• if anyone is still asking what to get you, ask for some nice pjs that you'll feel respectable wearing all day if needs be
• a pattern suddenly appeared at around 6 weeks, when I could then at least know what to expect in terms of busy and quiet times

Obviously what worked for me may not for you, but hopefully I've given you some ideas that you could fit in to your own family

BTW the best advice my HV gave was to eat, drink AND rest to improve the quality of your milk, all are equally important. When I started expressing at about 2 months it was immediately obvious - if I sat down with the tv/a book/in a trance for half an hour before pumping I'd get twice as much milk out. It was quite impressive!

I remember getting up at 7am when DD1 was tiny - I just needed the horrible nighttime to be over. Being up seemed easier than lying in bed dreading the next time she'd wake up. But 7 was the earliest I could convince myself it wasn't still the middle of the night.

A friend convinced me (well, she was quite stern :o) that I needed to start napping in the day when the baby napped. I always found daytime sleep hard, but I taught myself to do it. I kept a blanket on the sofa, so when I'd get my chance, I'd just immediately curl up and sleep.

Agree that you shouldn't be organising your day around the HV - if you aren't dressed, you aren't dressed.

I think even at 2 weeks you should see what patterns there are (if any) to the baby's sleep. One of the things I found really hard was never knowing when I could sleep. You describe a day with some common features - long feeds in the morning, long sleeps in the daytime - try to use what you know about how the day is likely to go to plan your rests.

Also - are there certain things guaranteed to make her drowsy? Walks? Baths? Use them judiciously.

Last of all - try to enjoy it :) You only have 1 job at the moment - feeding that baby. Everything else (except eating!) can fall by the wayside or be picked up by your DH.

There is only one routine at 2 weeks old and that is NO ROUTINE! Trust me I am 10weeks away from number 4.
I know you want to be up and dressed to feel human, but if you are going to take any advice from the wise words on here, it would be take this opportunity to slob about for a bit. I never got much further than a quick wipe of a facecloth and brushing my teeth and TBH that is all you need to do.
Get a good BF counsellor because BF lying down was a godsend for me, it meant I could doze during night feeds. Also doze during the day if I had had a full night of feeding.

Get friends and visitors to do stuff round the house. Many of your visitors will no doubt know what it is like. I used to get them to stick the kettle on and whip the Hoover round. Let's face it if you can't ask your friends to help out with stuff like that, should they be friends?

Regardless of what all the bibles say about babies, you can NEVER NEVER spoil a baby.
Invest in a moby wrap to sling the baby in, with a bit of practise, you can BF on the move with that. Number three baby for me would never settle at all unless she was stuck to the front of me, the moby wrap was a gift from the gods, it allowed me to function with normal day to day stuff.

Lastly, please try to enjoy this time, it passes far to quickly and stop expecting to much from yourself.......you have a DH to pck up the slack. You are not a domestic goddess and socialite just now all you have to do is be a mummy, It will even out I promise.

Yeah, seriously ditch GF - she robbed me of enjoyment in those early weeks because i was too worried about getting DS into a routine. As soon as i stopped reading it i became a happier, more confident mother and DS was a much more content little man. I dipped into the Baby Whisperer which was ok for some guidance and not as rigid as GF, but i found that even with that DS was not ready for a routine to be forced onto him - he worked out his own when he was around 4 months and even then it gets thrown into turmoil with illness, teething, vaccinations etc. The only thing you can really do at 2 weeks is help them distinguish between day and night to sort out their circadian rhythm and enjoy the cuddles.

Incidentally, my DS is a great sleeper at 11 months - naps properly during the day and sleeps for 12 hours at night, self settles fine and doesn't rely on 'props' to get him to sleep. I always fed on demand and responded to his cries. I also co-slept until 12 weeks, which saved my sanity.

Oh and by helping her to distinguish between night and day i suppose i do mean having a loose 'bedtime' routine - warm bath, massage, lights/ noise low after a certain time, feed her in a different place to daytime feeds. She'll probably sleep in a corner of the lounge for the time being, or on your chest on the sofa while you watch TV in the evening, but you're getting her used to day and night. Make sure daytime feeds are in a bright place with all the usual daytime noise happening.