Sleep Nightmares Part III: At 3am No-One Can Hear You Scream

[CountBapula]

I've been moaning about documenting my 8 mo DS's 'challenging' sleep patterns on MN since he was three weeks old. He's still waking every 2-3 hours at least and the other thread's full, so here's a shiny new one for all you parents of hardcore sleep refusenik babies.

Who's with me?

Oh and I meant to say my DS has almost all his naps in the sling, how about that? I went to a sleep consultant who said to carry on doing it as holding them is so lovely and has so many benefits for them (DS is in the sling maybe three hours a day) and she doesn't think how they nap affects night time sleep at all. I'm stopping it now because he goes to nursery in a month and I'm worried he won't sleep at all while he's there!

Hi bigkids - thanks for getting back. We do the gradual approach on a night time and some nights it only takes a cuddle! On a day time I awlays put him down asleep (waiting a while to make sure he is in a deep sleep) but he never lasts long before waking up and getting another cuddle so tbh I don't try that often as I know he needs his naps and I know he will sleep if he has a cuddle. I've got a jelly cat soother that i've started giving him in the hope that if he loses his dummy this will soothe him back to sleep [hopeful]

People who say you are making a rod for your own back are twits! DS2 would not go in his moses basket, pram or cot and was permanently attached to me for 12 weeks, he is now a happy chirpy little fella at 5 months and is happy laying in his cot or on the floor in living room for up to 2 hours at a time in the day time, when he is wide awakejust chattering away. He also self settles most nights. Our main problem is that he wakes for 2-3 hours each night and just babbles away and I end up feeding him to get him back to sleep!! So ignore all the doom-mongers about cuddling to sleep and co-sleeping, tiny babies need that comfort. Tonight has been a bit of a shitter for us though, we have no curtain up as the pole fell down today so its really light and DS2 has bad wind so is a bit screamy. Oh and he somehow managed to push himself off the bed today, so I am not going to get any sleep anyway as I'm going to be checking him every 30 minutes. And I have run out of chocolate hobnobs

Thanks shuffleball - sometimes when he wakes he chatters to himslef (often at 4am!!) I know what you mean about them needing cuddles. When I got told 'ee you're spoiling him' etc etc I just used to think you can't spoil a baby with cuddles and I had no intention of leaving a baby so young to cry when a cuddle could make him feel so nice.

Idid you have a sling for a daytime?

Bad news about your curtain pole - hope your ds manages to sleep in the light tonight. We have one of those gro blinds for when we travel with him and they are really good. Our bedroom has two blackout blinds up - before ds was born I liked the dark - would lie in for hours and hours - Oh what wonderful memories .

Bet you were shocked when he fell out of the bed! I have found ds on his tummy the last two mornings and that scared me!!

Shame about your hob nobs (they're my fav too). My dh has just made me a cuppa and my friend bought me some thorntons - sending you some virtual chocs

Oh, its gonna be a bad night..i had the cheek to put her in her grow bag early, and she knows you know.....screaming the place down currently...dh reckons he can settle her...so I'm going to leave him to it, since he plainly reckons he knows better....apparently she just needs some attention..shame he never seems to hear her at 0400hrs...grrr

Can I join? We were doing well with a combo of shush pat and leaving him to cry for few minutes.
It somehow all went awfully wrong, DS is very unpredictable! He slept through one night after going to bed at 9 then it's awake every hour, 20, 10 minutes! Tonight it's been 7:40,8:30,9.50. I have to pick him up or he just sits sobbing his heart out.
I've tried an extra bottle, more food, more sleep, less sleep. He can't self settle and prefers DP as daddy doesn't have the large in the way baby bump mummy does.
Dp and I are struggling on the lack of sleep and I'm due in 7 weeks.
Hand holding and there there type gestures much appreciated.
DS 11 months is apparently high needs!

Sorry for my rant. I'm stuck with DS on me waiting until he is asleep enough to be put down. This is just truly horrible. I feel so guilty that he doesnt sleep. Sorry to be down. I'm not dealing with this very well at the moment.

Don't apologise - that's what this thread is for :)

Thanks bigkidsmademe, I'm so fed up with such a lack of sleep and worried about having DS and a newborn to contend with.

I know. DS wakes every 45 minutes. I feel your pain. Everyone here will know exactly how you feel, so moan away!

bigkids - what type of sling did you use please?

My ds wentto bed at 8pm and not too bad tonight as so far only had to reselttle 3 times. Waking him up in 10 mins for bottle! It feels so wrong to wake him but I know if I don't he'll want a feed in the middle of the night - this is the better of two evils I think!

When he was little we used a Close baby carrier. DH still likes that but now he is 18 pounds I find it drags on my shoulders so I use a Babyhawk Oh Snap.

It was me that had the preggo insomnia - last week I had my first full night's sleep in well over a year!!!!

Welcome newbies, sorry you've got to be here, but I hope you find it helps.

Well we had a very bad night, woke 4 times before 12 and then wouldn't settle, ended up with him in our bed, when he then slept solidly till morning - we awoke to his frist tooth, so that explains that! A momentous week, first sleep through and now first tooth!

Re not putting down - I am firmly a beliver in the 4th trimester - funnily enough it was at around 12 weeks that DS started to be happy to spend some of the night in the moses basket and not all of the night sleeping on me. And he slept on me for most naps till about 5 months - now he naps in the pram and mostly self settles for them. So no, not a rod for your own back at all.

Ahhhh, I got sleep last night! We went into "last resort" mode at this house, so after I fed DD to sleep, I went to sleep on the futon downstairs while DH took the first shift. She woke up twice in that time and went to sleep on top of him (?) until 3:30am, when I got up to feed her. She didn't fall asleep until 4:30am, but most importantly, she didn't FEED to sleep.

Then she woke up at 5:15am (patted to sleep), 6am, (fed and she rolled over and fell asleep on her own!), 7:15am (transferred to our bed, didn't feed and fell asleep), and 8:30 (awake for the day).

She didn't fall asleep while feeding ONCE last night! I know this will probably come back to bite me at some point, but it had been the killer, as I was the only one who could put her to sleep.

Also, I think the growth spurt has ended, hopefully yes?

Snarfle, I used a babybjorn carrier rather than a sling, did everything in it - cleaning, cooking (standing at an angle so he wasnt near anything hot!) and going to the toilet! Last night was totally rubbish, tonight DH and DS1 are staying at MILs to get some sleep and I can leave DS2 without worrying about the others waking. He is a perfect baby during the day, just a little rascal at night-time!! Here's to a good nights sleep for everyone!!

Thanks shuffleBall - hope you get a better nights sleep tonight! My DS has been at nana's and granda's today for a few hours so me and dh watched a dvd and tucked into the toffee crisps and the thorntons
DS asleep on me now and as he'll wake up if I put him down it looks like i'm having my tea one handed again - there's many a worse thing!

Nearly time for his bath and then here here to a peaceful night!

Aw bless him, we just have to hold on to the thought that we can get our own back when they are teenagers wanting a lay-in .

Will catch up tomorrow to see what sort of a night everyone has.

And I would just like to say I almost cried with happiness when I found this thread, its so nice to know that others are being tortured are having the same difficulties, I was beginning to feel a bit of a crap mum, even though we got through it with DS1, there is a 5 yr age gap so I dont remember the bad times, just the beautiful, lovely moments!!

Hello newbies and welcome.

We've started a bit of sleep training again - going back to settling in the cot rather than rocking to sleep (DS wouldn't settle in cot when he was ill) and cutting back night feeds. We had an hour of screaming at bedtime and another at 3am but it seemed to work pretty quickly - DS woke at 5am and DH went in to get him for me to feed him but he fell asleep again as soon as DH touched him and didn't wake again until 7:20.

Tough going though. It's DH's turn to do bedtime tonight and I can hear DH crying in the next room :( :(

Meant to say 'an hour of crying'

Oh Count your poor husband. I always cry in the middle of the night. :(

Count - I hope your husband has a good night tonight and your DS settles for him then you can both sit together tonight and have some time and a cuppa x

Gah! I meant "can hear DS crying"

I mean, DH is a sensitive soul where DS is concerned but not that sensitive. Sorry, sleep deprivation taking its toll on my typing!!

Anyway, DH managed to settle DS in 20 minutes. Still lots of screaming, but it's down from an hour the previous night. Interesting to see how the rest of the night goes.

And thanks for your good wishes. We've both had a nice sit down, then DH built a radiator cover while I did the first draft of my flexible working request. Romance ain't dead

I'm glad it wasn't ur dh that was upset. Here's to a peaceful night for all!

Hi Count and all you others deprived of sleep, hope last night wasnt too bad.
We had a good night, self settled by 7.15pmish, awoke at 11.30, gave him some calpol, slept again until 2am, 45 minute feed, back in cot and slept until 5am, was really cruel and made him wait until 5.30 for his feed, he had a quick 20 min feed now he is fast asleep again, in my bed this time, I on the other hand feel refreshed and full of energy as thats the best night in over a week!! There was no night-time babbling, for the first time in ages either. Have we turned a corner? I don't want to put on my smugpants just yet..............