Sleep Nightmares Part III: At 3am No-One Can Hear You Scream

[CountBapula]

I've been moaning about documenting my 8 mo DS's 'challenging' sleep patterns on MN since he was three weeks old. He's still waking every 2-3 hours at least and the other thread's full, so here's a shiny new one for all you parents of hardcore sleep refusenik babies.

Who's with me?

Hope the PUPD went ok levantine. Sounds like you've already had one sleep nightmare - can't imagine 3 more years of this.
We're back to a bad place at the moment - DS woke every hour last night apart from one longer stretch from 11pm to 2am. He's sticking his fingers in his mouth all the time so think it's teething again - will it never end?

Teeth here too. Have fed DS back to sleep four times tonight!

Have gone back to feeding or rocking to sleep at bedtime, which is bad because when he wakes in the night I have to feed or he won't settle. Fine if he only wakes once. Not so good if he's up every two hours.

Hello, sorry to hear things are not so good Count and Judys. I found the same, Count, wrt feeding back to sleep. I was happy to do it when he was waking 3 times a night (!) but then he started waking after 20 minutes and I felt quite resentful of cracking the boob open each time. I guess like everything, it is yet another phase!

Cosmosis your buggy situation sounds good - I want to stop as DS still needs to be pushed around for the full length of the nap!

DS is one today!!! Things have been up and down sleepwise as DS has been unwell with a cold, then diarrhoea and the worst nappy rash I have seen. All of which made me wish I was still breastfeeding.

However we did have one night where he slept 9-almost 6, and a few nights where although he wakes I don't have to go into him each time.

Last week was a hell of early wakings, so there always seems to be something. I think 7-7 with 2 hours+ of naps is just never going to happen for DS. He's really resisting his first nap at the moment too. He just threw up 30 minutes into my attempts to get him to nap just now so he is up again.

We took a car journey earlier this week and DS slept on the way there and back. DP started to seriously talk about the prospect of buying a car!!

at 'cracking the boob open'. Mine feels like it's cracking open - feeding a baby with teeth is a pretty risky business ...

Happy birthday to your DS! Hopefully sleep will get a bit more consistent now he's a year old. That's what I tell myself, anyway (my DS is 10 months, and I keep seeing his first birthday as a magical milestone when he'll start sleeping through every night. Naive, moi?).

Morning, please can I join, I keep trying to kid myself that DS's sleep us 'fine' now but it's not, sigh.

I am going to need a lot of and today, anyone else in need?

Hello levantine. Let me know how you get on with PUPD. I think I might have to do that with DS soon. He's over 20lb and I need to stop rocking him to sleep or I'm going to hurt my back! How are you doing it? Are you just laying him back down, or are you actually picking him up? My DS stands up and cries if I put him in his cot awake :(

OhHelp tell us more.

Thanks for the top up of v much needed.

Last night went well until 11.30 when DS work literally screaming, DH couldn't do anything with him so I went in, I think it was teeth so got him to take a half dose of calpol then got him some fridge milk (we try to enforce a no-bf-from-bedtime-to-5am policy). I thought he was going to sleep but woke everytime I put him down, sigh....got into bed finally at 1.50, yawn and he still woke at 5. He came into bed with us then and bf but didn't go back to sleep properly until 6.30...we woke at 7.21, v v late for us.

And what is really he is 22m, yawn

Also meant to say....I do know where you are all coming from ... From 3 to 15m co-sleeping DS woke every 45mins-2hrs, then we got him into his cot (a v v long 3wks of little sleep in Jan).

Hi everyone. I haven't posted for a few weeks but I thought I'd come back and let you all know how we are doing. DS is sleeping much better for the last couple of weeks. He wakes once on a typical night around 3am for a feed, and then goes back to sleep nicely and sleeps until I go in to get him at 7am ready to feed him before work. He has slept right through a few times too!

I know we're definitely not home and dry by any means. Teething is just around the corner and I'm sure it will have us right back at square one (with my luck!) but I wanted to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

By the way, his improved sleeping isn't due to anything I have been doing. I'm not one for sleep training and he definitely isn't eating much in the way of solids to account for his improved sleep (BLW). So it is obviously just a developmental thing and he has started to sleep better because he is ready to. I'm just grateful as I have started work now and I don't know how I would have coped if his sleep hadn't improved!

Sorry - forgot to add - we still haven't cracked the whole 'self-settling' thing. He still needs BF to sleep every evening and some naps too. But I don't care about that at all at the moment. The main thing was an improvement from waking 6 (7... 8.... 9...) times per night and we are definitely getting there.

CountBapula well DS does stand up and cry but we cuddle him constantly and gently lay him down when he is calm

It is horrible

However, he cried when he went to sleep on me anyway, he has often cried when rocked to sleep so that makes it more manageable

To be honest, I never ever wanted to do any sleep training but the nightmare with DS1 (see above) has made me feel that it is the lesser of two evils. He could never ever settle himself so was the only two year old at nursery unable to nap on those little mats, so his temper and behaviour were pretty horrendous through no fault of his own - etc etc

His cot is still by our bed so we kneel on the bed but it is still back breaking. DH has been doing nights as DS seems to accept him putting him down more easily than he does me. However DH is going away for a ten day work trip on Sunday

I had thought we might crack it this week, but we won't. However, we are going on holiday in a couple of weeks and I am back to work in September, so if not now...

By the way I slept badly (on the sofa) last night as all was quite quiet and I thought that DS had knocked himself out with the trauma of it, but apparently no, he was awake, but not crying and easily settled, so that is progress for two nights.

DH brings him to me for a feed at about midnight and 5 am

Goldenbaby....that does sound like progress, the self settling will come eventually

Levantine....you've really should try to arrange furniture, mattress, beds so you can sleep well when you get a chance, before we did a bit of sleep training in Jan our bedroom looked more like some padded cell....floor covered in mattress/duvet/pillows for DH and DD for when DS and I were in bed.

And I feel for you with 10 day's flying solo, DH travels lots too, his 8 day trip when DS was 4months and DD was just over 2y nearly finished me off, lots of preparation, meal plans, activities scheduled and a friend/family to come give you a chance if a couple if hour nap at least once is needed....

And to add to my moan above BOTH kids sleep all night til their 'alarm' clock/lights came on!! So 5am for DS and DD 6.45 for DD, it's nothing short of miraculous, but makes me think that really nothing nothing I do will make it better/reliable they do it when all the stars align or something

OhHelp blimey - you must be absolutely knackered, you poor thing :(
have some more (and maybe a as well)

goldenbaby that sounds great. So glad things have improved.

Well, last night was interesting. DS just would not go to sleep. I fed him several times, DH and I both rocked him until our backs ached, but no, he was wide awake until 11:15pm [shocked]

Eventually we just had to give up, put him in the cot and sit with him until he went to sleep. He kept standing up as usual, and we tried to lay him down each time like levantine is doing, but it just made him more upset if anything. I got v upset too, so DH took over and just sat with him, talking to him soothingly but otherwise letting him get on with it. Eventually DS ran out of steam and crashed out after 45 minutes of screaming crying :(

I think we're going to have to do that every night now until he gets ut, because feeding and rocking just aren't working anymore (at least at bedtime - it still works for naps). Once he's got the hang of it, I think we'll try to night wean, because I can't be feeding him through the night when I'm back at work.

Oops, I meant not [shocked]!

Thanks CountB it's definitely o'clock now .

Last night sounds grim , it's a bit like DS was in the middle of the night 2 nights ago....wide awake and nothing worked for getting them to sleep. Hope tonight is better.

We night weaned in Jan .... a tiring couple of weeks but once it's done it's done, phew.

Hope lots of sleep is had tonight....

I've been following the thread but not posting. what's to say - "still no change, still waking every 1-2 hours"? but I have been trying to push the first night feed to 10pm, resettling without feeding where possible. tonight they both woke at 9pm. I tried to resettle (laying them down in the cots, talking softly, hand on back), but they just full on screamed for 15 minutes. and I do mean full on screaming. I fed them, and they have calmed down and gone to sleep. I feel awful for letting them be so upset for so long, but I need to get some decent intervals of sleep. how on earth do people night wean???

:waves hello to OhHelp

Count, sorry things are still bad for you. hopefully he will crack the self settling soon. although my pair can do it (with me sat between them) for the first sleep of the night, and then not again in the night. but I think it's a big first step. ds1 could absolutely not self settle till about 18mo which was really tough.

Well, progress here. Last night DS2 slept from 8 to 3, I fed him and then he slept from 3 to 7

It did take about an hour to get him to go to sleep in the first place, but still.

Tbh I am absolutely amazed as we never ever managed this with DS1

Now waiting for the five day bit where they decide they don't want to do it after all

Ooh, that's great levantine!

Almost identical night here. DS went to sleep at 8:10 after 50 minutes of wailing :( while I cuddled him in the cot. He slept until 12:30, then I fed him and he woke at 6:45

He actually woke several times in the night because I heard him cry for a few seconds and then nothing, so he must have gone back to sleep by himself. Bless him.

Oh brilliant!!!!

It does slightly break your heart when they lie down and go to sleep on their own doesn't it. They are so small and trusting and you know that they would really prefer a big cuddle

Hi mamaC...you have twins! I hope you have a better night and some relaxing time this weekend. I found sometimes it was good to just sit back and give a break for a while with the trying, although given my situation with DS....I am so nit the right person to take advice from

Levantine fingers crossed for a repeat!

CountB well that's a great second half of the night, we often get the same- some grumbling/crying that stops before we go in, it's better than full on crying but still means no sleep, sigh.

Here all round

Well, DS slept through last night - 9pm-6am. It took 40 mins to get him to sleep and not much crying. He cried for a few seconds at 3am, then nothing. So hopefully things are on the up.

Mama, sorry to hear things are still tough. I don't know how you do it. Night weaning is really tough. We did it partially with DS when we were using the sleep consultant (it lasted all of two weeks ). It basically involves sitting up all night listening to a screaming baby. Not fun. No idea how you'd do it with two. But then I've never been convinced about night weaning anyway. I never thought DS was waking for a feed. He just wakes and can't get back to sleep.

Wow!!!! CountBapula that is amazing!!!!!

My DS slept til 1130, I fed him then he cried for an hour. He woke up again at five. Still, it's only four nights ago that he was waking up every hour

9 - 6 sounds amazing count. Your DS really sounds like he's on the right track sleepwise. Good to hear your news mama but sorry things aren't better. We got on ok night weaning using the reducing feed times by a minute but even then I still felt he couldn't go longer than until 4am and DS still wakes before that anyway.
Sounds like pupd is going well for you levantine - hope it continues.
I'm away this weekend in my own. Feeling a bit guilty leaving DS especially as he's not drinking much formula. I've instructed DS to give him lots of yogurt and am hoping that 48 hours without me won't be too bad for him (not sure if there's a bad mother emoticon).
I spoke to the sleep consultant on Thursday and she thinks we should move onto just sitting by the cot. I'm very nervous that it'll all to horribly wrong and we'll undo everything. On a good night DS sleeps 7 - 3 which is so much better than before but he'll wake every hour after and normally have one hour stretch of being awake.
I'm secretly hoping me being away 2 nights will sort it all out..... The consultant has really helped us though because the idea of me being away overnight 2 months ago seemed impossible.