The my baby won't nap sign here thread?

[Zimm]

Helllo all,

Until recently DD (6 months) would only nap in her pram, this worked ok-ish. Now even this seems to be failing, yesterday I paced for 1.5 hours to get her to take a 30 minute nap. NOTHING gets done during the day as I am constantly entertaining her. Her night sleep was fantastic (8pm-6am, 6.30am - 8.30am!) but all went wrong at sleep regression and we now have anywhere between 2 and 6 wakings.

I worry about the lack of naps affecting her and making her miserable.

So please sign here if you too have a nap refuser, maybe we can share ideas or just support each while our houses descend into a cloud of mess, phone call go unreturned and exhaustion from street-pacing kicks in!

Zimm

Okay I have been following you lot from the beginning and I applaude you all! You've all come so far. When this forum started my DS was about 8/9 weeks. His sleeping was rubbish but he would go off in the sling. Thing is he is now 15 weeks and he has got worse. Like many of you say at the beginning, even pushing him in his pram or walking in the sling doesn't work - or if it does only for 30 mins or so. I tried the shush pat thing with no success when he was about 8 weeks but after seeing your successes am attacking it with a renewed sense of vigour!

Think part of my problem is I have a 2.5yr old DD and we've been out and about for her or it's so hard to settle DS with DD around as she can't be quiet (of course - bit much to ask!) and otherwise I'm up in the attic with DS whilst she's watching telly which I hate.

Anyway, my lovely mum is coming over this next week to play with DD and let me settle DS.

Started today and managed 3 30 minute naps in cot which is a huge step forward but classic overtiredness. Our nights are rubbish too so hoping by helping him to settle himself for regular naps in the day that will help in the night. So the theory goes....!

Welcome SilverSky and Loubie!

If you look back to 2nd March you will see a post from Sedgie which asked everyone to note things which had worked for them - people's responses might help in some way? Basically I think we have all found it's taken lots of trial and error and quite a lot of setbacks, but I would say that for most (if not all?) of us, naps have improved since the thread started.

I know for me, the increase in naps (not that every day is great though!) has definitely improved DD's mood during the day - nights are still very varied.

Louby I hadn't even thought about how difficult it must be settling a baby with another little one in the house! Good luck.

Sedgie your mum's observations are v interesting! Makes perfect sense. Actually we have been experimenting with sleeping in the spare room the past few nights and I'm sure I've slept through some of the 'whingey' crying I might have otherwise jumped up for, meaning longer stretches of sleep. :)

Hello! I'm joining you ladies.

I have a double edged sword of a non napping 10w old and feeding to sleep. I find both hard work and want to get her napping and stop her feeding to sleep.

Is cold turkey the best way to go with feeding to sleep?

At the moment she sleeps pretty well at night (7hrs from whenever she goes down - any time from 8 - 11 at night) then a feed then another 3 hrs then another feed and sometimes another hour or 2 after that. So at night she gets about 10 - 12 hours. The more she sleeps in the day the better the nights are.

Like all of you the days are the worst. They go like this:

Wake up, feed, change, sleepy cues, swaddle, put in cot, start to burble and chat, 30 mins after going in cot start to shout a bit, an hour after going in cot get cross, an hour an a half after going in cot completely inconsolable with tiredness (I try to shhh pat when she gets miffed after 30 mins but a bit half heartedly tbh). Put on breast to try to get to sleep. Fall asleep or doze. Remove from breast and bolt awake again. Repeat cycle.

We have days when apart from maybe 20 minutes on my breast (or max an hour if I just let her sleep) she is awake for 9 - 12 hours. It just can't be good for her.

She won't be rocked to sleep, she won't always be walked in the pram to sleep, she does sleep in the car but I don't always have access to the car.

Can I ask? Do you let your DCs sleep on their sides or do you put them on their backs once theyre asleep? DD definitely sleeps better on her side.

I know she can do it. I think my biggest problem is I'm not consistent. Well that changes today.

Morning all and welcome newbies! A good night here- 6.45 (loving the early bedtimes) to 3.15am, then awake for an hour (!) took ages to persuade her it was still nighttime...up at 7.10am. Naps a bit poor over weekend, ages to settle then only 25 minutes! Need to work on extending naps, 40 minutes I could live with, 25 is crazy. Taking a day off from cot naps today as we have activities planned at different ends of town so I wheel her between them and she will sleep well then. Back on the job tomorrow!

Morning all! and welcome silversky and louby and beijing.

We are very hit and miss at the moment, sleepwise, in the Beela household, teething is baaaaad - at least I hope that is the reason. So daytime and nighttime all a bit out of the window.

Last night DS went to bed as usual at about 6.30, then woke up at 8.30 and was inconsolable for half an hour, bonjela finally sorted him out and he then slept until 5am - then fed for an hour, fell asleep on the boob, woke up the minute his head touched the matress. I gave in and got him up after half an hour, he stayed awake until DP went to work at 8 but is currently fast asleep in cot.

I've also got an excuse for some nice long walks later on today so cot naps will be resumed tomorrow.

We still aren't at the stage where, like some of my friends, I put him down in his cot and leave him to fall asleep for 2 hours, but it is soooo much better than before. It has not been easy though and there have been tears from both of us, so I have been thinking about what has made the difference and what has made me stick at it so, FWIW, here is my list for the newbies (and the oldies, if you are interested!):

• consistency; on the basis that he doesn't know what I want him to do and it is going to take more than one or two attempts for him to figure it out.
• the belief that if he can sleep in his cot at nighttime then there is no reason why he can't during the day
• these comments from a friend - 'he's been used to trying to stay awake in the daytime so it's going to take a while for him to realise he can relax and go to sleep' (felt that he has been forcing himself to stay awake); 'we have to teach them everything'; and 'you are the mummy, you are in charge!'
• the fact that he is so much more fun to be with when he has had a decent nap or two - it was a revelation! Not that he was difficult before, just not very relaxed.
• the knowledge that it is better for both of us to have a rest during the day
• the support from this thread

What other things have helped you ladies to keep going?

beijing - meant to say, I do let DS sleep on his side when he falls asleep during a lying down feed in our bed. He sometimes rolls onto his back by himself. If you are worried about DD rolling onto her front, try putting a (v)small rolled up towel between her legs at right angles to her body (hope that makes sense) then the top leg can't come over and allow her to roll onto her front.

Good luck with the consistency - you can do it! and it will be worth it in the end.

Hello! I've been reading through this thread for about a week now, as LO's naps have become progressively crappier. (She stopped feeding to sleep, resettling mid-nap, etc etc.) Oddly, night sleep is getting better. Are we slowly climbing out of the hole of the 4 month sleep regression? Possibly. Sadly, I can't remember how many weeks old she is, but she was five months last Friday. :)

After yet another failed attempt at feeding to sleep (frantic suckling, wide eyed, staring), I switched tactics. 10 mins 5 S's, 10 mins letting her grizzle in the cot, a further few minutes 5 S's, then shush patting and holy hell! She fell asleep. Long may this nap last. :o

Hello everyone!

Been away for a while, DS had jabs last week. Was quite poorly after so have had a few sleepless nights.

So yesterday we decided to go for lunch with friends and their DS - he is 2 and can be quite "loud" so we was joking about him being able to clear the pub!

We arrived and I got DS out of pushchair for a cuddle, OH said to me that DS hadn't had his 2pm nap so we should try and get him to sleep. Well, 2 mins later we had an overtired SCREAMING baby!!! He was soooo tired and really crying. I walked him around the block to try and calm him down but nope, he was well and truly pissed off! I got him home at 4 and by then, he'd been crying non stop for 2 hours. Cried till 5:45pm. Fell asleep at 6pm and woke at 5am. He was exhausted.

I didn't even manage to get him in his pjs! He's got a tooth coming through too so that was a big factor in him being upset. He had 30 mins at 8am and has been asleep since 11am.

I've decided that I'm going to have to stay at home for a few days and work on naps again. Can't have him getting over tired again!

Going to bed is still very easy. Sleep by 7pm. will let you know how I get on!

IMissSleep I've learned to my peril not to let dd skip naps and I stay home for morning and midday naps and its all sooooooooooooo boring but in the grand scheme of things MUCH easier. It's not forever though right? I tell myself this is what my maternity leave is for. At least she does now nap.

I know, I keep saying to myself "It won't last forever, It can't!!'
Then friends kindly point out that once they are sleeping through and everything has calmed down, we go and have another!!!

He slept from 11am to 1:30pm! So we both got a nice rest, going out for a walk now

Thank you for the welcomes all!

Last night, DS slept from 730 - 630. In terms of naps today virtually DENIED!

Started to sleep on me but we needed to leave the house. Then overtired and very stressed. Finally he gave in and slept in the car enroute to a friends. Slept for 15-20mins. Then this afternoon he dozed on my boob after a feed. Then hasn't slept at all. I'm feeding him his last feed before bed and he's been overtired, screaming, shrieking and generally losing the plot.

Tomorrow we have early start again then baby group at 10am. Then nothing til about 5. I may try the shush pat thing in his cot or maybe I should put his Moses in the cot? I also need to get a cheap 1.0 tog sleeping bag for day naps at home when he is clothed.

Teething is not helping our cause for sure.

Thank you also for the welcome!

I got a copy of The No Cry Nap Solution (also the sleep solution but frankly naps are more important than nights to me atm). I'm still working through it but it makes a LOT of sense and would suggest it to everyone. Unlike baby whisperer (who I didn't like) she says the 3 key points to any nap/sleep routine are:

-Is baby getting enough sleep?
-Is baby happy with the routine?
-Are you/the family happy with the routine?

Reading it I also realised that DD has a very short awake time... probably an hour to max an hour and a half and I've been missing those cues or making her feed through her sleep cues. So, new rules are:

-Feed immediately on waking 15mins each side.
-Approx 15 mins play/change after feed.
-15 mins wind down of loudish white noise, dim room, feeding to dozy then swapping to dummy (or just dummy if in pram & were out and in motion).
-Put in cot on left side.

So far (ie yesterday and today) it's going quite well! DD has even been going back to sleep if she wakes up and I pop the dummy back in her mouth and avoid eye contact. Will report back as we go on.

Morning!!

Things are back on track for us, naps were good yesterday and he slept from 8pm - 5am!! Fed him at 5 and he slept till 7am.

He's having a nap now, I think I was missing the sleepy signs so by the time I took him for a nap he was over tired. He needs to have a nap 1.5 - 2 hours after waking. If I miss that then I'm screwed!!!

beela what has kept me going is....

• DH and my mum. Before I started the 'sleep training I asked them to help me when it got difficult. I have needed a fair few pep talks and encouraging texts when I've been unsuccessful/felt like giving up/had regressions.
• The belief that if I didn't tackle the nap (and night sleep issues) now it would only get harder, something mum kept reminding me of
• Knowing that she needed it to grow and develop, not to mention I needed more sleep and a break in the day
• Being consistent but ready to add in new things as suggested on this thread (e.g.bringing nap times forward)

Its been a difficult process, but sleep is now going really well, naps and nights (not that I'm taking anything for-granted!)so the misery of the last few weeks has started to fade, she is also easier for having sufficient sleep

I would like to announce that baby beela is having his first ever afternoon cot nap!

:)

anyone?

I'd like to announce that we have had a hideous night, first in weeks. I'm blaming teeth!

Today has been v challenging. Totally failed on the morning nap front. Went to Baby group. Had to leave early as DS having an absolute mare as overtired. Then slept in car for 45mins. Then I tried to put him in his cot for a nap around 2.30 I think, so 1hr 15 after waking from first. Well it was awful. Red face, tears, screaming, hyperventilating. So I tried PUPD. I can't hold him a la cradle cos he attempts to nurse and root and gets v v upset. So eventually about 3.10pm. I gave up. Brought him downstairs. Offered him a feed which he took hungrily. Then short while later. Deep asleep. So deep asleep I've snuck him in his cot. He woke momentarily to find his thumb and he's still up there. Not sure how long for and I know not ideal to feed to sleep but it's a start.

Feel like I've been thru the ringer and the poor dog's not been walked yet either!!!

Hi all, yes thanks for the welcome. Sounds like it's been hit and miss then since so far this week.
We went to see a cranial osteopath on Monday after a recommendation. She said DS was like a coiled spring! V stiff in shoulders and neck which would contribute to his inability to go off (I live in hope this could be a solution!!) There must have been something in it as that afternoon he had a TWO HOUR NAP IN HIS COT - hooray!! I had to wake him so it didn't go into bedtime. Night was still crap though but fairysteps!

Tried for 45 mins of settling him in cot and managed 20 mins. Felt sorry for DD not doing much so bundled them both in phil and ted and marched into town to the library (such a gorgeous day today!). Mum came over this arvo and put him down at 4 - he went off in less than 5 mins. Couldn't believe it. He woke bang on 30 mins later which is classic of his sleep cycle and was screaming. I'd fallen asleep next to him so was quick to respond and did pick up put down. laid him in my arms really firmly to stop his arms flailing around, stroked his head and sshhhed him. His eyes started to close so put him down keep a firm hold of his arms. It took three goes of doing this and then success. Had hour and a half and had to wake hime again.

Tomorrow mums coming over all day so I'm going to try and do the extend his lunchtime nap the same way.

Loving reading how everyone is doing. It's keeping me going knowing I'm not alone and loving that so many are having success. It gives me hope!

Well done Beela and Baby Beela plus others with successes!

Things that have worked for us (although not all the time):
First nap no more than 2 hours after waking;
Clear 'nap routine' of dark room, sleeping bag on etc;
Into cot at first signs of tiredness, rubbing eyes, yawning, grumbling etc.

We had some regression on the dropping off to sleep front, both at naps and at night - she had become pretty good at going to sleep without too much fuss at night, but suddenly last week was screaming again, so we ended up backtracking to finger-sucking (used to be the only way to get her to sleep!) and now I'm doing this ridiculous leaning over the cot with my face very close to hers and whispering shush in her ear - it's crazy but it's been working so, hey!

Meant to say, the other thing that has worked for night times is sleeping in a different room, as I'm not jumping up to see to her in the night every time she makes a little noise and as a result she has become much better at self-settling.

Morning all!

Yday's afternoon nap lasted 30mins but it felt about 15!

Last night was the normal, bed at 730pm and woke at 6am this morning. The only difference was I put DS in a vest in his gro bag instead of a sleepsuit. So possibly he was too hot before as it's gone very mild.

So today is a new day and an feeding DS now if he falls asleep on me and it's likely as we don't have to go out early today I'll try and sneak him into his cot.

I also want to go to a Baby Singing thing at 930 but I'm wondering if it's worth it cos by rights he'll probably need to be napping then. I guess I could go if he naps now but then he'll need feeding. Oh why do they start these things so early!!!

Good luck today everyone!

Also, I've only managed to read to pg5 of this thread so must crack on!!!

Morning!!
Well yesterday he woke 5 mins after his morning nap, just as I got in the bath again and didn't settle till 10am!

He slept for 2 hours, we went to a friends and he'd missed his 2pm nap again and cried :( he gets so over tired and nothing will console him. He was happy once we got home, laughing and playing. Bed time was 8pm, woke at 4am with a high temp so fed him and put him in be with us, woke at 7:30am.
He has a temperature still and a bit of a cough, could it be his jabs last week still? He had 3 so maybe that's it?

Anyway he's had breakfast and calpol and is just nodding off. Will report back later!!

beela how did the cot nap go?

Morning!

IMissSleep - the cot nap lasted about 30 mins, which is what he usually does in a buggy at that time of day so I am very pleased. And on top of that..... he slept all night, 6.30pm - 6.30am!! For the first time EVER!!! Hooray!!!!!! AND - he's currently having his morning nap in his cot

We've got our third set of jabs next week too though so it could all go tits up again, so I will enjoy it while it lasts.

louby - well done! sounds like you are having some success and great that your mum is able to help.

Good luck with naps today everyone - if they won't settle in their cot and you end up tramping the streets with a buggy then at least it's a lovely day for a walk

Yes, Beela everything seems better in the sun. :) Also, we are still on the same immunisation schedule, have ours tomorrow and bad timing, just after swimming so prob no lovely long nap for us?

Last night not too bad, bed at 7:30, feed at 2:30, up at 7. Getting there...

Good luck with the jabs geordiegirl, let us know how you get on! I think jabs make them sleep longer, but also more unpredictably. Hope it isn't too traumatic.

3rd cot nap of the day is underway as I type, it's almost like being under control over here. I expect he is just trying to fool me though

Hope everyone else is having a good day.

Well mixed day for us.

Fed and slept on me for all of 5mins. So scooped him up and out into car. Reckoned if asleep when at the Baby songs thing then wouldn't go in. Alas he was wide awake. Went to the venue and the session was cancelled due to illness! GAH!! Drove home. Still awake. Took DS and dog out for walk in pram. Been out 30 odd mins and 5 mins from home he fell asleep! GAH! Right pain cos the house has steps outside and nowhere safe to leave him so I put dog away and paced the street, then sat in the car with DS in shade next to me, then pounded the pavement some more. He slept for about 50mins maybe more as I don't know exactly when he dropped off cos had to shade the pram from the sun.

Next sleep was enroute to a friend's which is 15mins away and he stayed asleep for another 15mins.

Then he got antsy about 90mins after when we were at home and so we had a cuddle and he had another 30 min snooze til 6pm.

So achievements in some ways as he had three sleeps but failed as none in cot and all bar one was power nap. Major success in that I think I now know he gets crotchety after being awake for 1.5hrs. I think.

Am praying he sleeps tonight despite late nap. Hopefully the bath tired him out!!

This learning to nap is v v v v tiring !!!!