The 'newborn - sleep nightmare' continuation thread, Cosmosis, count, emo etc. Still a sleep nightmare?

[Bumperlicious]

Just thought I'd catch up with all of you from the last thread to see if now we've moved on from the newborn stage things are any better?

Dd2 is nearly 5 months and sleep is still hit and miss. She is not good at sleeping when out and about so mornings are either spent at home or I choose to socialise and spend the rest of the day fighting to get her to sleep.

She still rarely goes down in the evening despite me trying for 1.5 hours. Eventually goes down 11.30ish and still often wakes twice a night

Am knackered, no end in sight. How's everyone else doing?

judy some babies, most babies do need to suck to sleep, will he not take a dummy? i think he is quite young still to learn how to go to sleep without sucking tbh, my first three all fed/sucked to sleep until 9mths at least! my 3yr old sucks his thumb and my 5mth old has a dummy.

the elder three boys all bfed at night till 18mth+ mainly because it was how they got to sleep, it was a very gradual process weaning them off it but they did get there eventually and your ds will suprise you and sleep at nursery, i know my ds1 the WORST of my lot, slept brilliantly in a big old silvercross pram at nursery, i was amazed!

Hi everyone and welcome new ones! The success stories are very inspiring!

I'm up in Scotland which is not so relaxing as I'd hoped, I've given up and popped DS in the sling from 7 to 11 so at least we can socialise with the family. Then I'm up every forty mins till five when DH takes him. It's fucking awful. I was cosleeping but my police officer SIL just told me about a case of rolling on and suffocating of a baby she had recently and now I'm too frightened. You know when you're so tired your brain goes to mince and you can't make any decision and everything is terrifying? That's me now. Bring on Monday and The Plan!

Thanks 4madboys. I guess I think self settling without sucking is what DH needs to go longer stretches but maybe he just isn't ready. I think he's addicted to fingers - he tries and sucks any that come in his range at any time of the day so it's not going to be easy. He used to take a dummy before but he won't at the moment. I might try and get him back on it again.
Sorry you're still have a crap time bigkids - every 40 minutes sounds hellish. Did you SIL give you any other details? Had the person been drinking/taking drugs? I think if you follow the guidelines co-sleeping is safe enough. Jealous of you being up in Scotland - I miss the hills. Did your DH get the job?

We don't know yet Judy, thanks for asking! Last night DH had him from 12 onwards while I snoozed so I feel a lot better but guilty I left DH with all the responsibility again. How come he can cope and I can't? I feel a bit hopeless tbh.

I'm sorry for moaning all the time I'm even fed up with myself now

i would perservere witht he dummy, thats got to be a better option than your fingers and he may even learn to put it in himself.......

bigkids, if you follow guildines co-sleeping is safe, sorry your sil has scared you :( and part of coping is knowing your limits, so when you are knackered and have been up every 40mins it makes TOTAL sense to let your dh take over so you can get a break, be kind to yourself lovely, sleep deprevation is awful xxxx

Bigkids, dh isn't at home doing it all the time. I also agree about accepting your limitations. I know I am crap without sleep, and don't cope very well, it's just who I am. Don't feel bad about moaning. This has to be the place you can moan whenever you need to.

I've just taken mine out in the car for a quick sleep. Terrible but it usually works!

Dd2 is officially crawling! Do they sleep better after learning something new?

often they do I think bumper, you never know!

Bumper we've had a couple of 3+ hour stretches in the last few days so maybe there's hope yet! DS is a nightmare at bedtime though. He's all chirpy and hyperactive. As well as the crawling, he's now babbling incessantly - lots of "blah blah BLAH blah blah" etc. I'm sitting next to the cot at the moment ignoring him while he crawls round his cot burbling at his teddies ...

Hi everyone, have been absent for a while as was away one night while DS stayed with DP. All went smoothly in the end, though DS woke a lot. I didn't sleep that well though!!! Combination of late night and x3. Was pleased to have a break from breastfeeding as DS has taken to biting .

Things have very slowly been deteriorating here...I started feeding DS earlier and earlier in the night, mainly as I didn't want him to cry for an hour in the night, especially with our trip coming up where we'll just do whatever works quickest. Will try and limit feeds again once we've returned, and phase out the bottle. Just the usual plan I keep starting and not finishing!!

No CC yet - am saving it as a last resort.

Was glad to read that other people are experiencing shenanigans at bedtime (though of course not wishing any of you bad sleep!). DS has been pulling up to standing in his cot for about 3 weeks and getting him down is taking aaaages. Have given up on day time naps in the cot after it took one hour to get him to sleep one day and now going for 2 walks with the buggy instead!

Good luck with your plan, bigkids. Sure your DH is tired as you are, but I think dads aren't plagued by guilt as we are, when you feel like a failure as a parent cause your DC won't sleep - certainly how I feel every now and again when it gets on top of me.

Well we have interesting news. Yesterday I was eating a banana with DS on my lap when he grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth. I was a bit as he is only 18 weeks and I hadn't planned on weaning him yet, but I thought feeding himself probably meant he was ready, so let him suck and gum the banana. He ate the entire half that was left!

Then, at bedtime, he had two three-hour chunks of sleep- the first time he's had more than ninety mins in a row in a month. Is it possible he was hungry all this time?? I know it could be coincidence and there are a lot of other variables. But he's getting banana tonight too!

bigkids could be coincidence, but may be not. Give him banana every night I say! If there's any hint of reflux, the banana may have helped also because it's more solid.

Bananas also apparently have some sleep inducing chemical in them, as does turkey, chicken and oats - according to a lady who held a sleep workshop I went to!

Turkey, chicken and banana flavoured porridge all round then!

That's funny - DS has banana porridge for breakfast and can sleep for up to two hours afterwards!

Met a potential CM today. Been meaning to ask you, Cosmosis - how does your CM settle your DS for naps? Or is he OK at napping these days? This CM I met was sympathetic about the sleep issue because her DS2 was a crap sleeper and still sometimes wakes in the night for a bf at 18 mo! So it gave me some confidence that she'd not leave him to cry or whatever, especially as he'd be the only child she'd be looking after besides her DS2 (her DS1 is at school and she only wants to take on one mindee). But it's the main thing that worries me about leaving DS in childcare. What's been your experience?

bigkids I expect you're starting the plan tonight - good luck!

The oddest thing has just happened - DS just went to sleep almost as soon as he went in his cot. I was stroking his tummy but I almost think I didn't need to as his eyes were very heavy. No finger sucking was involved. It might be he was listening into a conversation I had with a friend about sleep training - she did CC which turned into CIO with her DD and was saying how great it was. Must admit was a little bit tempted as she now sleeps the magic 12 hours and takes 5 mins to settle. DS maybe realised he needed to give me something. We've been back to waking nearly every hour so not holding out too much hope for a good night.
Good luck with tonight bigkids. Glad you got a bit more sleep.

Oh wow judy - that's great!

I have news too. I've just been out! For the first time since DS was born!

I went to a pub down the road with some friends from work and had moules frites and a lovely glass of . DH put DS to bed and had resettled him twice by the time I got home - v easily apparently, no screaming. Didn't bother leaving any milk as I was so close by and could get back easily if necessary. He's still asleep now! Feel sort of naughty, like I've got away with something. Very silly I know :)

Brilliant news Judy! And well done Count. My first night out will be the mumsnet meet up on Saturday, I cannot wait!

First night of the plan last night. He was in his cot at half seven, really quite wide awake as he'd had an extra nap to half six in the taxi. He grumbled away but did not cry, fell asleep a lot of times but would wake up to see if I was there five mins later. Eventually asleep at 8.40.

During the night DH did till midnight and I did 12-5. When he woke, every hour, we comforted in arms till he stopped crying then put down awake. Time to fall asleep fell from 20 mins at the start of the night to ten by midnight. I settled in the cot twice then did a little five min feed at two am.

From 4-5 he would not settle so at 5 I let him fall asleep on me. DH took him and I slept then fed him at half six.

So it was a rough night but really no worse than last week. Settling got easier throughout the night and until 5 he fell asleep in his cot every time. And he had one five minute feed in 11 hours, amazing! We are exhausted but feel very positive. I hope tonight we can build on it!

Have quite caught up so appologies and i have to pop into work as soon as dd2 is asleep, but I just wanted to announce that dd2 has slept (with one minor wake up but went back off immediately) from 11-6.30 for the past two nights

I couldn't quite believe it. The first night I was sure I must have fed her but forgotten. But dh had her last night and the same again!

More details later!

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuray bumper. Eagerly awaits details of how you did it.

Count, I asked her this the other day out of curiosity, and she puts him in the bouncy chair or pushchair and ?jiggles it a bit? ? she also puts him next to the radio so if he wakes up, it sends him back off to sleep again. TBF though, he?s got pretty good at naps, although he?s never been bad at them, he regularly has a 2hr morning nap and 40mins ? 1hr in the afternoon. From what I have heard, babies sleep very differently in childcare to at home! My friend has a shocking sleeper and for naps at nursery they just put him on a beanbag and he falls asleep on his own!!

It was really important to me when I was looking for childcare that I got someone who I thought would give him loads of love and attention and not leave him to cry or anything, so I completely ignored all the ofsted crap and went purely with gut instinct and so far I think I was spot on, he absolutely adores her and she him. You should see the smile he gives her when she opens the door in the morning! He is the only child she has other than her 2 daughters and her niece, so a lot of the time it?s just her and DS which is brilliant.

Yay for a night out!! I must say, in the last month I am really rediscovering my freedom ? DH has soo much more confidence with DS now that he does most of the settling at night, so I was out most of last Saturday doing a yoga workshop, will be out all of next Saturday riding my bike and am out on Thursday night with work.

judy wow!! How did the rest of the night go? I?m jealous as DS was doing so well with the self settling at bedtime a couple of weeks ago and has completely lost it again - but seems to be able to do it in the night at least. He does this thing where he wakes up, does one shout and then goes back to sleep, most odd. Although last night he was unsettled, was up for an hour around 2ish had to give calpol in the end as he?s not been 100%.

Nice to hear some good news for a change - nights out and long sleep stretches sound great! The first night of your plan sounds good too bigkids. The rest of our night was pretty good to start with. I had to resettle DS an hour after going to sleep but he then did 8pm - 1.30am! I did go in about 11.30pm and give him a little pat but he wasn't properly awake.
We only had 2 hour stretches after that and he was awake for an hour at one point but not crying. I think it may have been a better night if I'd left him in his cot at 1.30am - hopefully he'll do a repeat performance tonight so I can try. Trying not to hope for it as was probably a fluke.

8-1.30 is brilliant judy!

Hello all. I am and at the same time on reading your posts. Pretty soon it'll just be me on my lonesome on this thread

We had an awful night. DS kept waking up - just could not stay asleep - wouldn't settle, wouldn't be put down. I got about three hours' broken sleep. Bah! We are definitely in sleep regression now. He's gone back to needing to be rocked to sleep at bedtime, which we've not done for over two months, and fed to sleep for naps, which I haven't done since he was about 10 weeks old! We get awful screaming otherwise.

Been doing intensive crawling practice this afternoon to try and tire him out.

Anyone with 8-month-olds - how many naps do they have now? DS has 3 still most days, but today he randomly slept in the pushchair for an hour and three quarters and didn't wake until 2:30, so I dropped the afternoon nap. When are they supposed to go down to two?

BTW thanks Cosmosis - found your insights into childcare v useful. Met another one today, and she was very nice, but my instincts definitely tell me that the one from yesterday would be best for DS. Shame though, because she's 15 mins' walk away, but the one today is at the end of our road! Oh well.

Well DS has completely forgotten how to get himself to sleep, even though we were doing so well the other week. Again tonight it was crying to sleep in my arms, back arching etc. I am expecting a couple of hours of the same in the night as well.

still, I'm off to London for a meeting tomorrow so I can kip on the train!