The 'newborn - sleep nightmare' continuation thread, Cosmosis, count, emo etc. Still a sleep nightmare?

[Bumperlicious]

Just thought I'd catch up with all of you from the last thread to see if now we've moved on from the newborn stage things are any better?

Dd2 is nearly 5 months and sleep is still hit and miss. She is not good at sleeping when out and about so mornings are either spent at home or I choose to socialise and spend the rest of the day fighting to get her to sleep.

She still rarely goes down in the evening despite me trying for 1.5 hours. Eventually goes down 11.30ish and still often wakes twice a night

Am knackered, no end in sight. How's everyone else doing?

Ha ha - yes, Andrea suggests nonchalantly opening and closing drawers, putting things away etc, but I always want to ask, "That'll take up 15 minutes - so what do I do for the other two hours of screaming?".

Count, can't remember but have you tried a cranial osteopath it's probably hooey but another way to through money at the problem and feel like you are doing something

throw

Yes, we did when he was 5 or 6 weeks old. We wondered whether the ventouse had squished his head and that's why he was so bloody grumpy unsettled. It did seem to have an effect - he slept for ages after the first appointment - but it didn't last. The osteopath basically said we didn't need any more sessions.

At least I didn't have any more wake-ups last night - he went from 3 until just before 6.

Well, my inspired idea to pat DS all evening meant be didn't wake up much before I went to bed......then woke every hour after. Had to feed each time too. Ugh. Not sure if co-sleeping is making things better or worse.
Count, I know you're still getting up but I think you've done amazingly well if you think where you were a couple of months ago. At least you've really put some effort in whereas I feel I move from one half baked plan to another all the while hoping it'll get magically better. I think maybe I do need someone to hold my hand through it all.

So how's everyone tonight? Hopefully you're all doing fun things because your babies are sleeping soundly - ha!

Well I never, I have made some discoveries about DS and sleep over the last few days, which I'll share in case they magically work for anyone else. First, I was dead wrong in my notion that more naps in the day would help him sleep better at night - DS seems to break the mold on that one. Since we have just been leaving him to nap for however long he can manage on his own (always 26-28 minutes a pop, you can set your watch by him) he has slept more soundly of an evening although he has been difficult to get off in the first place.

Second, he is aggrevated by the sound of his own crying/ whinging when trying to go to sleep. If I cup my hand over his ear to block out some sound, with him on his side so his other ear is against the mattress, he settles much quicker. It's not my hand being on him because if I put it on his cheek or on top of his head, it doesn't work. How utterly odd.

Wishing everyone minimal wakeups tonight, N

Interesting stuff narmada. I a suspicion that DS doesn't need as much daytime sleep as other babies.

The amazing thing for me is that DS is sleeping soundly for now! Been asleep since 7.20pm so has got through two sleep cycles - woo hoo! I've been trying the rocking in the cot technique (I can't remember who recommended it but thanks) so that DS falls asleep without sucking. I had one arm under his bum and one under his neck and jigged him while he was lying down. He's much better now as well so hope this bodes well for the night ahead.
Sadly I'm not doing anything more exciting than watching Britains got talent as I keep expecting him to wake any second now. Hope everyone else is getting on ok.

judy's that's brilliant. I am really, really certain that it's beneficial for them to fall asleep in their cot without sucking. I know sucking is naturally a baby's main way of soothing itself but it's also the devil's work because it's so addictive. I've had two champion sucky babies and with both of them removing the suck-to-sleep association has been really fundamental in getting them sleeping better.

Even watching Britain's got talent is exciting when you've not had proper evenings for yonks. I'm buying imaginary furniture online to furnish my imaginary house - well, the one we've just put an offer in on today - keep your fingers crossed for us that they want to sell it to us because we;ve been looking for yonks and I've been waiting for years to escape rented accommodation and be able to paint my own bloody walls puce if I so desire.

Fingers crossed it all goes through ok! We bought for the first time last year and it was very exciting. I spent a lot of time on this website. You can plan rooms and then see 3D images of it - I spend many an hour at work home daydreaming about how to arrange our living room.
DS has of course woken once since I last posted but I'm happy with my 2 hours.

spent many an hour - am very tired as DH is a bit ill so I got up with DS at 6am this morning instead of getting my lie in. Off to bed now.

Oh poor judy's, hope you get a lie in tomorrow. Whenever my DH is on duty, DS wakes up around 8 am. When it's me, it's always 6.30. Starting to wonder if I am snoring and waking him up or something

Thanks for the link to that site - wow, I have been looking for something like that for ages. Had a crappy google sketch-up freebie thing but I never got on with it.

My Ds has woken twice tonight too, so blotted his copy book, but was at least easily resettled with a hand over his ear [puzzled].

Hi all. Well, after my realisation that we only have one call left with Andrea, coinciding with actually starting to feel ill with exhaustion, I decided to bite the bullet and do the Mary Poppins pottering bit as she suggested, to try to stop him waking every 1-3 hours.

Last night he cried for an hour while I pootled about in his room, stopping to tuck him back in and offer words of encouragement every so often. He suddenly conked out, but woke again after 45 minutes. Same again - 30 mins crying this time. Slept for a bit longer then woke again so I fed him. A three-hour stretch, then up every hour after that until 4:45am when nothing would get him back to sleep. DH carted him off at 6am for brekkie while I sank into a coma.

Tonight he cried for 50 minutes and slept for just over 2 hours. It then took 40 minutes of crying, whingeing and grumbling to settle him back again (I held his hands this time).

So two surprising outcomes. Firstly, he went to sleep more quickly than I thought and never got hysterical. Secondly, so far it has made buggerall difference to how long he sleeps for. So clearly letting him cry is not the magic solution either. I'm going to try it for one more night and if the amount of crying doesn't diminish, or if the night wakings don't improve, I have absolutely no idea what we'll do next.

Hope I don't sound too hideous ... I hate hearing him cry, but I just feel like we've tried all the softly softly stuff and he's still waking up. This stops short of CC because I've stayed in the room with him, but it still feels way more harsh than I'd like. :(

Me again. We were up all night with DS. He woke for the millionth time just before 5 and we could not get him back to sleep. I hardly slept at all last night, I was so stressed and strung out, couldn't stop crying.

He's been hideously overtired all morning - even fell asleep feeding right after his morning nap and slept on me for 45 minutes, which he hasn't done since he was about 8 weeks old.

It's our second wedding anniversary today and we're so shattered we've barely spoken to each other. We'd agreed no presents etc and planned to go out for a nice lunch instead but all of us are just too exhausted, and we can't face the stress of being out with DS when he's this overtired.

Feeling very blue :( :( :( anyone out there to say nice, positive, reassuring things? :)

Hey count. Sorry you're having such a crap time again. At least now you've tried the Mary Poppins thing - maybe your DS just isn't ready for it yet. It doesn't sound hideous because you stayed with him with him the whole time. You're doing so well - I think you've really inspired me to keep going in trying to sort out my DS's sleep.
I'm sure your DS (and all our DC) can get there in the end - I'm sure I've read/heard as well that they might be better sleepers as toddlers because we've had to be so regimented compared to parents where their DC fall asleep on their own. Is there anyway you could sleep in his room with him so the wakings aren't so tiring to get your strength back a bit?
Can you and your DH get some nice food in and have a little celebration at home? Have a nice carpet picnic with some good food? Hope you get to enjoy the day.

Oh count, I don't know what to say. You really are trying to do the best for your ds, so don't feel bad. You must be on your knees with exhaustion. Will ds take a bottle? My salvation is my weekly 'night off'.

Thanks ladies. Today's been pretty shit TBH. I was so exhausted this morning I couldn't stop crying. Eventually DH (who had been up in the night too) took DS and I basically slept all day. The weather's been gorgeous but I haven't left the house. I closed the curtains to put DS to bed this evening and burst into tears thinking about what a horrible waste of a day it's been. DH and I have barely spoken to each other, let alone done anything nice together. We're going straight to bed once DS is asleep and we've eaten.

It feels like today embodies the way in which our relationship as husband and wife has been completely subjugated to our responsibilities as parents.

DS is crying from exhaustion in his cot. Bleurgh.

I hate how I come across on this thread. Really whingey. Thing is, though, I sort of feel it's the only place I can be completely honest. I tend to put a brave face on things in RL.

Hope everyone has OK nights.

Count, you sound so down and I'm so sorry. Please don't feel as though you are whingeing - you clearly need an outlet and I think we're happy to be it! I have no advice but I so, so hope you have a better night tonight. Fingers crossed.

You don't come across as whingy at all count. You. Are. Having. A. Hard. Time. This is nothing to do with you or your coping abilities. From an objective pov you are having a shit old time.

Have you been to the gp for you? I have found the anti-d's have helped me manage things better.

I said to dh the other day 'remember me? We used to be married once.'

You and dh just have to stay on the same page for this. And the top of that page says This Is Not Forever. Big hugs to you. Don't be afraid to ask for help in rl.

Also I think today is probably a bit of a Sunday anxiety thing. I used to get it when I was working. You feel like your weekend has been wasted. Dh is back to work tomorrow which means you are back to 'work' and you have the week stretching ahead of you.

Think you're right bumper, I do get that Sunday dread.

Thank you all for your lovely posts.

DS let out a cry after he'd been down 45 minutes so I dashed upstairs to settle him and found him fast asleep. Weird ... maybe he will just get the hang of this in his own sweet time and I'm just stressing myself out trying to get him to drop feeds, fall asleep without me etc. I finally abandoned the Mary Poppinsing tonight when we reached 50 mins' crying - I figured that since the crying hadn't decreased and his sleep hadn't improved at all, there was no point both of us getting so upset. As soon as I put my hand on his, he settled. I found it quite moving actually - that just the touch of my hand can reassure him enough to get him to sleep. I think I'm just going to have to follow my instincts more and also just accept that this is how it is for the moment, and as you say, it's not forever.

BTW have been to GP and referred to a counsellor, and will be having six sessions of CBT.

Glad your DS is asleep count. Hope you get some too and things look better tomorrow. Is your DH going to take the days off between Easter and the wedding/may day hols? Even if he's not, at least there are some bank holidays to look forward to.

Sleepy thoughts to you count (& ds!). Where are you, are you near any of us?

I'm in S London bumper.

DS managed a 4-hr stretch from 10:35 to 2:50 (yay) but I gave up trying to settle him without a feed after 40 minutes of grumbling and thrashing around ... oh well.

V much looking forward to bank holidays, judy.