The 'newborn - sleep nightmare' continuation thread, Cosmosis, count, emo etc. Still a sleep nightmare?

[Bumperlicious]

Just thought I'd catch up with all of you from the last thread to see if now we've moved on from the newborn stage things are any better?

Dd2 is nearly 5 months and sleep is still hit and miss. She is not good at sleeping when out and about so mornings are either spent at home or I choose to socialise and spend the rest of the day fighting to get her to sleep.

She still rarely goes down in the evening despite me trying for 1.5 hours. Eventually goes down 11.30ish and still often wakes twice a night

Am knackered, no end in sight. How's everyone else doing?

Well things are still shit here but marginally better. He went to sleep brilliantly last night, 30 secs of crying after his last feed, and then sleep with some headstroking from me, transfer in to basket went fine. He woke at 10.30, but wasn't hungry so DH got him off to sleep, he slept till midnight and then it all went tits up again, he refused to sleep in his basket, refused to sleep unless latched on. I ended up at 5 am on the landing trying to rock him back to sleep, which never works for me - although works brilliantly for DH. In the end I was so much at the end of my tether I shoved him in his cot in his room and shut the door. I thought he was going to go to sleep as the crying stopped, but I think that was just him wondering where he was and 5 mins later it started again so I gave up.

He did spend longer in his basket last night than the nigth before though so hopefully tonight will be better again.

REally worried as MIL is coming next weekend and we can't have her to stay if he's like this!

Haven't been on for a couple of days because I have been dealing with a rather foggy feeling in my head.

After one good night two days ago DS then decided to not sleep at all (at least that is what it felt like) - weds he woke at midnight for a feed and it felt like he didn't actually settle after that. Last night was 3 and 5 again (which is actually really good at the moment).

Watching fromheretomaternity's success.

Oh shiiiiiiiiit. I have just spotted some horrible white spots on DS's tonsils. He's got tonsillitis, hasn't he?

Aaaaargh!! Get ye to the GP pronto. Your poor DS :(

Going this afternoon. Bizarrely I am quite relieved because I thought his bottle aversion had just spontaneously got much worse. Infections at least do pass, but feeding aversion is a battle of epic proprtions, and generally long-term.

Good excuse to avoid in-laws as well

Hope he gets better soon.

They're almost here and have driven from Somerset...eek!

Do you know what? DS is far easier to handle when ill than when well because he gives in to sleep a lot easier. He doesn't cry much with the discomfort - I think he must have a high pain threshold as he didn't cry at his jabs or when having blood samples taken from the backs of his hands [shocked]. Poor wee man.

Here's hoping everyone has good days/ nights. I have a feeling I won't be getting much kip tonight

oh, and count, thanks!

Narmada I hope your DS gets better soon.

Well another shit night has commenced in the Blonde household. A bit annoyed with DH as we agreed last night that we would take it in turns to rock DS in his crib to sleep, no matter how long it takes, when he is definitely not hungry. So when DS woke up an hour after he went to bed, off went DH. He hadn't stopped crying after 10 mins so I went up to offer support - and there was DH holding him in his arms trying to rock him which NEVER works! I had to feed him as he was wide awake and putting him down would have been a nightmare. Anyway he woke up again a bit later, and I rocked him for 20 mins in his crib, and DH then rocked him for 10 and has just come downstairs leaving a (hopefully) sleeping baby upstairs. Thing is, DS was crying for the whole half hour. He knew we were there as we were rocking him and using the 'sleepy words', so it's not the same as CC is it? I think it was just 'cross' crying, not really upset sobbing, so he won't be damaged forever will he?! God, this is so hard.

Well, my DS cried for over an hour on Tuesday night while I comforted him in the cot and no, I don't think it's the same as CC. For me the essential distinction is that I never left him alone to cry. He has gone off like a top at bedtime for the last three nights so the amount of crying in our house has decreased overall as he used to howl for at least 20 minutes before bed most nights anyway.

'Gone off like a top at bedtime' - I really hope I'm writing that soon!!

Sorry to hear most us are having such a rubbish time! Dh attempted to get back into bed with us last night but we were all so disturbed that he's back in the spare room tonight and i, of course am in the dark already with a sleeping ds on my knee and have been since 6pm. :(
The paed is trying ds on ranitidine in case there is still some silent reflux going on. Judy, i think it was you that asked how we got our referral-. Basically i begged the Gp! I asked her to make it a private referral so we could get seen asap and if sent the prescription back to her to be filled. I shall update on any progress. Was less impressed with his advice- let him cry, basically...

Our sleep training is on hold - ds has a vomiting bug. Will return to the thread once he is better...

Sorry to hear about continuing bad nights. Things much the same here, although last night was a bit better I think - I decided as I'm so knackered not to time anything after about 1 in the morning. DS now in with me as usual, seems a shame to wake him when he is finally sleeping peacefully...

Ours was crap. DS went off beautifully at 7 and slept for just over three hours. I fed him, then woke him gently and got him to fall back to sleep in the cot at 11. Agreed with DH he would try and settle if he woke before 3.

DS woke at 1.30 and wouldn't settle. Finally realised he had a leaked nappy - that's the worst thing about sleeping bags, I always forget to check - so changed, fed and put back down awake again at 3.

Because his special grobag (we've stitched a swaddling bit on top of a sleeping bag to keep his arms in check) was now out of action, we swaddled him in an ordinary blanket. Two hours later he'd woken himself up by getting an arm out. DH and I spent 45 minutes trying to settle him but in the end he got hysterical so I fed him. I got really upset and started crying from frustration that the sleep training hasn't really worked - he's easier to settle, but apart from that first night, the wakings are just as frequent and I am shattered. DH wanted to keep to the plan and not feed him, but I couldn't be sure that he wasn't hungry - it's one thing settling him at bedtime when I know he's just been fed but it's another matter when he's screaming in the middle of the night. So we ended up having a bit of a mini row about that.

I don't know what to do, really. I feel like we had a taste of success that first night when DS only woke once between 11 and 8. But since then it's been every 2-3 hours again and I'm knackered. PU/PD clearly doesn't work for him and I don't want to do CC. Feel v defeated and glum :(

Count, sorry you've had such a bad night :( It all seems so much worse in the middle of the night, doesn't it? Especially when they have a blooming poo. I always lie there hoping I'm imagining the smell because ds is so easily disturbed that a nappy change inevitably leads to 2-3 hours resettling.

Just wanted to share an interesting snippet I read in an NCT policy review on sleep last night (in the dark in tiny font on my phone!). Apparently exposing babies to sunlight in the early afternoon helps them sleep better, and it's the timing of the exposure rather than the intensity of the light that helps.

The review also suggested that cc is a very effective method of getting them to sleep better. (but my brain adds - expensive at the cost of what?)

Oh, and I keep thinking about an old sleep thread I read on here ages ago (don't think I could find it again unfortunately) where one of the posters said that in their experience when a baby sleeps well at first and then starts waking more and more frequently in the early hours of the morning, this is a sign that they have been awake for too long between naps. Don't know if it's true or not but I'm trying to be really consistent with ds at the moment (almost impossible!) to see if it makes a difference.

count - sorry you had a bad night. Don't give up though. We've had quite a similiar experience to you in that our shsh pat experiment led to DS settling much better at night but made no difference to the night wakings. We had another slightly better night last night and the only thing I can think has made the difference is that we are settling him in the same way each night in a relatively calm way. Also, they do say you have to try things for 10 days to see a difference.
Last night we had another good stretch from 8.30pm to 12am (with one easily settled waking), then settled at 2.30am, fed at 4am (awake for 1.5 hours though) then awake at 6.30am and up at 7.30am. Still not great but better so clinging onto that.
My big dilemma at the moment is that his sleep improved on the day I stopped taking dairy. I'm pretty sure it was a coincidence as it was so quick but am too scared to start taking it again in case it all goes wrong.
plasticspoon - will defintely be exposing DS to some afternoon sun from now on! Our house is quite dark and do worry DS doesn't get enough natural daylight.
ali - hope you're doing ok. Glad you had a good-ish night last night.

Thanks all. judy glad you had a better night.

God, I have been so fed up and tearful today. DS had this random long nap this morning - 2 hrs and 40 mins - WTF!!! - and it's thrown his daytime sleep out of wonk. He refused to nap at all after 2.30pm. DH went out shopping and came back to find DS screaming in his cot and me a crumpled heap in our bedroom. I just lost the plot a bit - he just would not sleep, and I had to just put him in his cot so I could go off and take a few deep breaths.

As a result he was disastrously overtired at bedtime, not helped by this random fireworks display that suddenly erupted at 7pm when I had just put him down semi-awake in his cot. He was so startled I had to get him out and feed him again to calm him down. He did go to sleep in the cot as is usual these days, but it took ages and I expect him to be up again before too long.

I hate this. I've accomplished nothing today - haven't even got dressed . DH wants me to go to the doctor - thinks I have PND. But surely feeling utterly exhausted, fed up, guilty and hopeless is a perfectly natural and reasonable reaction to months of sleep deprivation and dealing with a highly demanding, sleep-fighting, overtired baby all day every day? :( :(

Someone please give me a kick up the arse - I need to snap out of this before I go bananas ...

count You don't need a kick up the arse. You need a break, I reckon. You may or may not have PND, but sleep deprivation like you've suffered is going to send you absolutely loopy, as is having to wrestle a baby to sleep for every. bloody. nap. You would be completely inhuman if you weren't occasionally to be found in a crumpled heap.

You are essentially doing all the difficult stuff on your own. I'm FF my DS and I would still be an absolute nut job if I was BF. I get every other nigh off. I'm not advocating formula at all. Just saying it to make you realise what you're doing is just really, really difficult.

Aside from this I would suggest: calpol for DS to rule out anything pain-related, actually, no, calprofen - much more effective; DH taking your DS out in the morning for a nice long walk and you having a lie in - he can take some expressed milk and a bottle/ cup/ syringe in case things get really difficult. Could he do that?

Thanks narmada. I have actually had a bit of a break this week because DH has been off and has taken on loads of the baby care so I can rest etc. I think I am extra glum today because we had a shit night last night and DS's naps have gone completely to shit the last couple of days. DH needs to finish some house renovations tomorrow before he goes back to work. I am dreading being on my own again with DS all week and doing all the bloody naps etc.

Your post did put things in perspective though. It is bloody hard what we're doing, isn't it? :(

I am thinking about finding a local babysitter/nanny to take DS for an afternoon a week just so I can have a nap, a bath or just sit and read a book. Just to do something for me. We can't really afford it but it'd be worth it to stop me going completely round the bend.

Thanks for the kind words

Hope you have a better night tonight count. The babysitter idea sounds great - hope that makes a difference for you.
It is really hard going through this. I get so sick of settling DS - feels like all I do - and you do feel pressure as you want things to go well so you at least have a chance of a half decent night. I'm pretty teary a lot of the time so you're not alone there either - I went to see some friends today and burst into tears the minute I walked through the door. I felt like I must seem ridiculous as by 5 months things should be ok.

I think it's ok to accomplish nothing in a day as well when things are so tough. I keep on putting pressure on myself as I feel I'm not playing with DS enough or doing some of the things the other mums I know are doing but DH keeps reminding me that they are not going through the same thing and we've just got to get through each day until it is better. It's been helping me this week to try and keep thinking it's ok just to survive each day and not do much more.

Hi all, sorry to hear things aren't getting better, and get well soon to poorly babies.

Count, things were looking up for you, what a pita things are bad again. Fwiw the anti d's are helping me. Even though it's tiredness, it helps cope with the tiredness. I feel bad though, as ibhave nothing like the number of wakings at night some of you do. I just have no evening. Even if I can get dd off she wakes within 15 mins. Dh and I are both getting really fucked off. What with last weeks chicken pox (& next week with the baby if I am really unlucky), and tonight I was trying to pacify dd2 while dh was trying to coax tantruming dd1 into her pyjamas which she didn't want to wear because the were the wrong shade of pink. If it's not one it's the other.

Though it seems like we have started weaning. Dd wasn't interested in porridge but she was very impressed with some roast chicken and sweet potato I offered her earlier!

I hate 'just surviving' the days judy. I always feel like everyone else is coping better than me. I hate the lack of achievement, as well as living in a shit tip! I feel like I should be doing a degree or writing a book or starting up a craft business or something...

I thought about signing up to do an OU course this year bumper as I couldn't understand how having a baby would take up so much time. I'm not saying "surviving" is the state I want to be in but it just helps me when I'm feeling useless to try and give myself a break as it was making me feel more and more stressed.
I don't think you should feel bad either that it's just have no evenings. DS was sleeping better at the beginning of January but taking forever to settle and I think that was just as bad to cope with emotionally. I felt like I never got a break from him and it was really getting me down.