HELP! 9 month old getting worse not better.

[AlCrowley]

DD has always been a terrible sleeper. I joked before she was born that I was due a non-sleeping baby this time after DS who slept through from 8 weeks and it really has come true.

After months of struggle, we'd finally gotten to the point where she was finally having 1 nap in the day then having a BF at 7pm and going to bed and waking at 1.30-ish for a feed then sleeping till 5.30-ish for a feed and being wide awake from then until her nap. We weaned at 5 months on the advice of the HV because she wasn't napping during the day at all! She now eats really well.

Again on the HV's advice, 4 days ago, I added a FF at bedtime along with her BF. She's never taken a bottle - just screams if you put one in her mouth - so we've been giving "bedtime milk" from a tippy cup. She maybe takes an ounce or two before she cries for boob at which point I BF her to sleep as normal. But since then, her sleep has gotten even worse. We now have the 7pm feed, an 11pm feed, then the 1am feed and an extra 3am feed before the 5.30 wake up. The only bonus is that her nap has extended to more like 90 mins most days.

So I'm giving up on the HV and asking MN - what do I do now? Do I ditch the FF or should I give it a few more days to see if she settles? Is there anything else i can do to encourage her to sleep through - or at least go back to just 2 wakes? DH, DS and I are all desperate for a full nights sleep now

Any advice would be appreciated

Oh dear. Not good.

It's so tricky when you think you've cracked it and things then go vaguely pear shaped. Hopefully tonight will be ok. Try and be consistent with her if needed and get an early night just in case x

Off to bed now.

I have the most horrendous period pains today so I'm wondering if they're on their way back and it's maybe affecting my milk. I only fed DS to 6 months so I never had periods while I fed him so I'm not sure if it would make a difference??

I don't think it is does. Kellymom website would have the answer.

Also on my way to bed too. Try not to doubt yourself, she's weaned now and eating well

5.45am she woke. Took her to my bed to feed expecting another 40 minute marathon. She fed for 20 mins then played for 10 minutes then started rooting again. Swapped sides and she had another 10 mins and then wanted to play!!

She's only had a 45 min nap this morning too.

Really beginning to wonder if I'm having milk issues.

Her naps maybe changing as perhaps her routine for naps is ready to move to something like 10.30am and 3pm? My 2 started to move forward on nap time about now.

It won't be milk issues. The feed maybe more thirst or comfort only and then deciding she fancies a bit more later perhaps or a developmental milestone. Try not to worry!

If you scroll down to normal developmental stages on this weblink it may help you feel a little more confident?

That link was helpful, thanks. She's definitely heading toward cruising at the moment - think she's going to miss out crawling altogether - so maybe that's it? We even got the blocks truck out last night as she's so desperate to be on her feet all the time!

She was all but asleep on the way home from dropping DS at pre-school this morning so I think she was ready for her nap She had been up from before 6 after all! Grrr :)

I think maybe some of our problems are that I am super hormonal at the moment. I was quite tear-y last night and saying that I wanted to wean her cause I'd had enough of BF. It was the end of a very long and quite tough day.

I do feed her to sleep. Maybe it's worth waiting for her to look tired and then just rocking her? Hard work getting things peaceful enough with noisy DS around though and a bit worried to leave him alone..just in case!

I wouldn't rock to sleep everytime as you're just replacing one comfort with another iyswim?

The shush/ pat is better as you do not pick them up.

I used to put something DD really enjoyed on the tv if I needed to deal with DS and ensure the room was child proofed and safe.

I tried shush pat this afternoon at nap time. I'd fed her to sleep and she'd woken up as I laid her down. When she was calm, I left the room and let her cry

10 minutes later, I just went and fetched her. She'd cried so hard it took a few minutes to calm her even when I was holding her!

Will try an earlier bedtime tonight. I'm off round to a friends for chinese food with the girls so need to be out early anyway - not to mention really needing a night off :)

It sounds to me like you keep changing your approach a little Consistency is key to them getting used to the status quo though.

What worked best with my son was going in every few minutes and calming him, then leaving again.

Whereas with my DD PUPD worked well.

They both every now and then needed me to re-teach them as they seemed to back track again. As long as I was sure they weren't ill or teething, had a clean nappy and had recently had a snack/ food. I would push on through and not leave the room with them.

However as you say, she should be tired at bedtime today. She'll probably need to go to bed earlier tonight I suspect, so I'd feed her tea earlier just in case as you want to make sure she eats well, as opposed to falling asleep in her high chair and not eating a thing LOL

I sound like such a nag don't I?

Enjoy your girls night out, you do deserve it!

You're right. We were doing so well till she got poorly and it got cold.

Naps I've always done the same but her not napping the first few days has made me change those too now. Poor girl must be so confused!

Right - tomorrow back to feeding to sleep for naps for now. Nights, back to patting and crying before 5am. After that, feed in her room and back to bed till 6.30am? After that, when she's up, we're both up.

So looking forward to my night out. Hopefully, getting them in bed a little earlier tonight will mean a little more sleep in the morning. It's not going to be late tonight but it won't be my 9.30 bedtime I've been having lately.

I needed the nagging. Thank you

Hope you're out having fun and bedtime went well x

I did have a lovely time. Got home to find that DH had cut up the veg box (which is supposed to be returned!!) to make a template of the new TV so he could work out where to hang it.

His defense was that it'd been in the garage for months. It hadn't, the veg box man picks up the old one every week when he drops off the new one, then I empty the new one and put it where the old one was.

Grrr, men!

Right off to bed to get as much sleep as I can before DD wakes.

Naps a disaster today. DD woke at 4.50am but by the time I had moved myself out of bed, she'd gone back to sleep. She woke again at 5.50am and I went into her room to feed her. At 6.30, DS woke up and came into her room to find us which woke her for good so that was that.

Did usual morning nap routine. Set DS up with TV then got us comfy in chair for feed which usually leads to sleep. Not today

She wouldn't have slept for long anyway as I had a last minute doctors appointment for the period pains I've been having for almost a week with no period - turns out I have a persistent tummy bug! Must be very persistent, I've had symptoms for 3 weeks now! - and I figured she'd sleep in the car so I wasn't too worried. She was still awake when we got to the doctors though so I decided we'd nip to the supermarket. She fell asleep on the way there!!! Managed to get her into one of those reclined, tiny baby seats and she slept most of the way round the shop at least.

Afternoon nap, she fed as usual and was then awake again so I took us into the quiet kitchen and walked her round for about half an hour till my back was screaming. She's done a couple of long blinks but was still awake so I had to gave up.

She's now fallen asleep at 4.30 on the way back from DS's swimming lesson!! It's far too late really but she's had so little sleep today, I doubt I could wake her if I wanted to.

Will let her have half an hour then wake her I think ready for bath and bed at 6.30.

Think we'll miss the walk in the park we were going to try while DS is at pre school tomorrow and stay home so she can nap in a quiet house. I need to get these day time naps sorted again or else night time sleep is bound to suffer.

Oh dear

Is she not self settling at all for naps now? Just on you? I thought at one stage you'd managed to master that

Tomorrow I am sure will be a better day x

She's not settling at all for naps now. Hasn't fallen asleep, even on me, for a single nap today. She's only fallen asleep in her car seat.

Bedtime went better. Found a cup at the Supermarket today with a soft spout. I didn't give her much cows milk as she generally doesn't drink it but she drank all I gave her. Then BF but she still wasn't asleep. Got her calm and sleepy in my arms then laid her down and shush/patted her almost to sleep and left the room. Only had to go back in once.

Going to stay home tomorrow and concentrate on getting her day time naps sorted. Morning one is generally the easiest and DS will be at pre school so house will be quiet.

If I can get that sorted maybe afternoons will follow again?

Brought her home from DS drop off sleepy and hungry. Changed her then sat down for a feed. She fed for about 40 minutes. Well, I say feed - what she actually did was feed for about 10 minutes then suckle in her sleep for the other half an hour but every time I unlatched her she jerked awake and latched herself back on again.

When I finally got her off, I cuddled her and shushed her until she fell asleep again and then put her in the cot.

Lasted for less than 10 minutes

Can't decide whether to shush/pat or leave her. If I go in, she'll no doubt wake up further but if I leave her, she'll cry herself awake.

She needs to sleep!!!

Shush/patted and got her calm. Left her and we had peace...for about 3 minutes!!!

Screaming has now re-commenced

10.48 and it's all gone quiet again!

Hoping she's finally gone to sleep.

Nope - there she goes.

I think I'm going to give up for now. I've been trying to get her down for over an hour now - in fact, almost 2 hours. I think it's a lost cause

That does sound similar Lee!

Concerned I'm confusing her trying all these different things though and am making it worse not better.

Do you think I should stick with how we've always done it or try feeding her after? Do you do the same at bedtime? I can imagine I'd be able to get her to sleep for at least the morning nap with no feed possibly but cannot imagine she'd go for it at bedtime.

The feed before bed is often the last one to drop as it is such a comfort to them when tired.

I think it is ok to change to not feeding before a nap, as long as you keep it up and do not keep backtracking Be consistent every nap time, every day.

I'd be tempted to consider a decent form of sleep training for day time naps now. No feed but certainly a snack before a nap is worth a try so her tummy is full. I think CC maybe worth a go for a quick resolution to learning to self settle at nap times but with DS I could only ever go 5 mins before going in again and calming him. I think Sunshine said the other day she prepares her child for naptime just like bedtime with a gro bag etc? That sort of consistency is very good as well.

Have far have you got with Marc's book now?