HELP! 9 month old getting worse not better.

[AlCrowley]

DD has always been a terrible sleeper. I joked before she was born that I was due a non-sleeping baby this time after DS who slept through from 8 weeks and it really has come true.

After months of struggle, we'd finally gotten to the point where she was finally having 1 nap in the day then having a BF at 7pm and going to bed and waking at 1.30-ish for a feed then sleeping till 5.30-ish for a feed and being wide awake from then until her nap. We weaned at 5 months on the advice of the HV because she wasn't napping during the day at all! She now eats really well.

Again on the HV's advice, 4 days ago, I added a FF at bedtime along with her BF. She's never taken a bottle - just screams if you put one in her mouth - so we've been giving "bedtime milk" from a tippy cup. She maybe takes an ounce or two before she cries for boob at which point I BF her to sleep as normal. But since then, her sleep has gotten even worse. We now have the 7pm feed, an 11pm feed, then the 1am feed and an extra 3am feed before the 5.30 wake up. The only bonus is that her nap has extended to more like 90 mins most days.

So I'm giving up on the HV and asking MN - what do I do now? Do I ditch the FF or should I give it a few more days to see if she settles? Is there anything else i can do to encourage her to sleep through - or at least go back to just 2 wakes? DH, DS and I are all desperate for a full nights sleep now

Any advice would be appreciated

The results are quicker if you leave them alone completely. However I couldn't do it either.

DH woke up and stopped me going back into her last night. She still seemed to cry forever :(

It's hard but soon you'll be getting alongside other mumsnetters and being a real support to them and truly understanding Glad your H is supporting you.

I think, on average, yesterday was our best day yet.

We took DS to pre-school and I carried DD home to make sure she didn't fall asleep in the buggy so I could feed her before she napped. Got her down by 9.30 and she slept until 11.30!!! 2 whole hours. I was about to wake her to pick DS up again!

She didn't seem at all interested in an afternoon nap so, as DS was desperate to go to the supermarket for ice lollies, fruit juice and bananas (his own list :) ) we went out. DD napped in the car on the way there and again on the way back. I brought her car seat in when we got home and she slept in there for another 20 minutes so she did get some sleep in the afternoon even if it wasn't in her cot.

She wasn't interested at bedtime either even after the whole bath and milk routine so it took us a while to get her off. Eventually, I left her quiet but awake in her cot and she fell asleep on her own with no tears.

The screaming started at just gone 2 (it's getting later and later) I remembered some advice I'd read on another thread on here - when I was offering my own, limited advice :) - and when I went in, I didn't pick her up, I just patted and stroked her on the tummy until she calmed and then left her again. We still had tears but only about 20 minutes worth. She woke up again 10 minutes later but only cried for about 5 mins.

And then she woke up at 6.15 this morning. :)

So we've had the most sleep and the least crying yet. Really hope this is going to continue and she won't regress again.

That's pretty good

She'll get there, the stroking and not picking up is a good one. I've done that in the past.

2 hour long naps today and she was tired by the end of the day so bedtime was easier tonight.

Did last feed in her room tonight rather than in the lounge with the TV on so it was quieter and calmer which must have helped.

Would be lovely if she slept through but if she does wake up, we're going to do shushing and patting again tonight. No picking her up or feeding until tomorrow morning.

Feeling a lot more human with all this extra sleep but still looking forward to the luxury of a full night's uninterupted sleep.

Thanks for sticking with me. I really appreciate having someone to tell this all to.

I used to spend a lot of time on the sleep boards and BF boards however lately I've tried to keep to only my ante natal group threads and a couple of others so my list of active threads I'm on is small Easier to keep up now though It's terribly addictive though isn't it?

I need to go and do some studying before I get tired and my mind wanders.

I'm sure tonight will be a little better. Every night seems to be Sounds like tonights bedtime routine worked well.

I hope you're right about tonight being better. We do seem to be making good progress but I'm trying not to get too hopeful to save disappointment on the bad nights.

Mumsnet is very addictive. DH bought me a Netbook so he could have his PC back after I fell pregnant with DD and became totally addicted. I joined just after DS was born but only really got into it when I found my antenatal board. I love having all this advice on tap. Not sure how I'd cope without it now.

What are you studying? Every time I drive past the OU, I think I ought to do something but I just don't have the energy at the moment.

Y156 Understanding Children. It's very interesting. Only 6 hrs a week studying so manageable

Al, my lovely!
Reading this has brought it all back...
I could of swore on a stack of bibles that DS was a good sleeper but he used to do the screaming and we had to do the tummy stroking to calm him.
We ended up doing some version of controlled crying once he was a bit older. Letting him cry for a minute or so and then comfort but we did use a dummy so im not sure how different that made things.

On a much happier note if you are anything like me you'll forget all about these awful nights in 3 years time!

ABF! It was good to see you back on the December thread! It's gone so quiet on there. Is it daft that I'm mising everyone?

Last night was the first tummy stroking night but it did seem to cut short the amount of screaming so we're going with that again tonight. I'm hoping we're on the cusp of full nights. I really need a proper nights sleep soon.

Will set an Outlook reminder for 2012 to remind me to sppreciate the sleep I'm getting

Had a look on the OU website tea. That does look interesting.

I'd honestly completely blanked it out! You mentioning the tummy stroking just brought it all back.
It has gone very quiet on the dec thread, it keeps dropping off my threads im on we should all make a pact to leave a comment everyday at a certain time regardless of how mundane

I quite like the mundane stuff, makes me realise how 'normal' DD is.

I've been trying to keep it bumped but sometimes I think I must look really sad being the only one on there.

The Facebook page never really got going either did it? Maybe if those of us left on the thread were Facebook friends we might be better at staying in touch? I still talk to madmissy a lot and she hasn't been on the Dec thread for months!

My ante natal thread is full of chat about life in general now as ours are 19 months on that thread, my thread for my 3 yr old is very tumbleweed though

Ours used to be but it's all gone a bit quiet recently. A few people have gone back to work so have a lot on at the moment. Hopefully, they'll come back once things settle down again. I joined MN after DS was born but I did look for a March '07 thread afterwards. Seems there never was one which is a bit of a shame.

Last night was good. She woke at midnight again and I went in and shushed and patted for a few minutes then left her when she was calm. She did start crying again but it only lasted for about 20 minutes. We had grumbling for about another 10 minutes then she slept till 5.45.

Unfortunately, she woke DS and even after a feed was in no mood to go back to sleep so our day started rather early this morning!

I was wondering whether feeding her in the dark at 6am was confusing for her though as obviously, I'm not feeding her in the dark in the middle of the night. She must wonder why some times it's OK and others it isn't

Best night so far last night. DD slept from 7pm till 4.20am in one long, luxurious sleep :)

Shushed and patted till she was calm then left her for about 10 minutes and she went back to sleep till 6.15am!

Brilliant.

Woohoo! Great stuff. So nice when there is light at the end of the tunnel

I'm going to away this weekend, so I won't be about but fingers crossed things carry on x

Hopefully, I'll have more good news for you when you get back.

Have a lovely weekend away. Going anywhere nice?

Hi Al, glad to hear you've had a good night. We were doing OK until DS2 got an ear infection at the start of the week. However, at least there's a definite reason and the infection will go.

Hi, it's me, I name changed after being mistaken for a satanist again!!

Sorry to hear about the ear infection Blue. I hope he gets better soon. As you say, at least you know it will go soon and hopefully, things will go back to normal.

DD has had an OK day today. She had a massive long sleep this morning that I had to wake her from so we could go to soft play but then she didn't fancy an afternoon nap so went down late and then was a little grumpy at bedtime. DH had done bathtime on his own while I went to the hairdressers so I wonder if that made the difference? Will have to wait and see how tinight goes I suppose...

She slept till 5am!!!

She then screamed till 6.30am but she slept till 5am. That's 10 hours sleep!!!

Rubbish naps so far today to make up for it though

I was always prepared to feed them if they woke after 5am as I thought they were probably hungry if they hadn't eaten for 10 hrs or so. But then I would lie them back down again in their cot. I know you said you thought it would confuse them if the rest of the night you didn't feed them, however it didn't seem to effect them or make them wake again earlier in the night personally. IYSWIM?

AlCrowley = satanist?

I was in Swanage this weekend with my brother, his wife and their 4 kids camping. Good time, although chilly at night in the tent. Both DCs slept great, DD did wake cold on the first night once but that was it Really wasn't sure how it would go as I haven't been camping in a tent with both of them before.

I fed her at 5am, she just didn't want to go back down. I thought the same as you - after 10 hours sleep, she was probably hungry, which she was, she was just also awake! She did the same this morning. Woke at 5.15. I fed her and tried to lay her back down but she was having non of it. Screaming didn't last so long this morning though.

Have put her in a sleeping bag tonight as she's always uncovered when I go in to her. Wondered if keeping her warm might give us a little longer before she wakes? Have to wait and see I guess.

AlCrowley was actually taken from a book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman called 'Good Omens' (fab book) the character is not at all evil, but his name in turn was taken from a famous occultist called Aleister Crowley - again, not particularly evil but not a saint either - He tends to get mixed up with Anton LaVey who wrote the Satanic Bible....

Sounds like you had a great weekend. I had my brother here to visit. It's been lovely :)

Oh yeah my 19 month old boy sleeps better in his gro bag and with his gro anywhere black out blind.

Oh ok I understand now

I used to leave a few toys in the cot at the bottom as I was heading to bed, so they'd have something to play with when they woke early. I also used to leave a non leak cup in there with water in sometimes too. The lengths I went to, to get more time in bed. LOL