Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Put your questions to Supernanny, Jo Frost, here

203 replies

JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:32

Jo Frost has been being Supernanny in the US for the last five years but she's shortly due back on our screens with a new show on Channel 4 - the Jo Frost Roadshow - a six part series sees Jo talking to Britain?s parents to find out which issues are really worrying them and which conundrums are driving them mad.

Ahead of the new series the Radio Times thought they'd like to field some real-life parental dillemas to Jo, to make sure she hasn't lost her touch and who better to come up with them than Mumsnetters? So if you'd like her take on any aspect of child-rearing or to hear her suggestions for solving any difficulties you are having with your child's behaviour (and please be as specific as possible) then fire away. We can't promise every question will get answered but we'll try for as many as we can.

Thanks
MNHQ

OP posts:
kazkiss · 07/01/2010 18:49

Hiya peachy do apologise if i am interfering but coincidently i watched an episode of 'babywisperer' the other day on this exact subject. They had a little boy who was headbanging for tantrums. What she suggested was to buy a bean bag (or something similarly big and soft) and everytime he started to do it was not to say anything but to just pick him up and place him on the bean bag. so that a) he could work out his aggression and b) he wouldnt hurt himself. The little boy then after a while started taking himself to the bean bag when he felt frustrated then eventually stopped doing it all after a while. I think the main point was not to react to it (other than to place him on the bean bag)

Hope this helps apologies if it is a load of twaddle!

PeachyWillNeverVoteBNP · 07/01/2010 18:55

OOh we have a beanbag thanks

Will try that

kazkiss · 07/01/2010 19:00

Thats ok hope it goes well!

Trikken · 07/01/2010 19:04

jo- my three and half year old still wont poo on the toilet, only in his pants tho is ok with weeing. have you any tips for helping me get him to go as I have tried sitting and reading with him, bribery and also reward charts but nothing has worked so far. Thanks x

SameAsYou · 07/01/2010 19:58

Hi Lynette - he was 4 on Boxing Day. My DS is 7 weeks younger. Do you have any experience on this?

Sparkles07 · 07/01/2010 20:02

oh another one...

My 4 month old baby will only go to sleep when she's rocked. I've tried leaving her to scream but it doesn't work. I have a rocking chair so its not too much of a hardship, but I'm worried that when she goes to nursery she wont nap for them, as they won't spend the time to rock her to sleep like I do.

Thank you Jo!

princessllama · 07/01/2010 20:20

my friend's son is 19 months and keeps whacking his head on the floor when he gets upset. he seems to do it instead of having a full on screaming tantrum. if he's on carpet he gets up and finds somewhere with a harder surface to bang his head. he's quite calm about the whole thing. he has reasonable understanding and conversation for his age and seems very normal in every other respect. she tries not to react and diverts his attention but nothing is working. any suggestions?

LynetteScavo · 07/01/2010 20:21

SamAsYou, DS1 was a bit like this,(He's much better now he's 11) but not so extreme. Once he decided on something he liked, we could never change it. Our mantra was "never deviate from the norm" I decided with people like this, it's a case of choosing your battles, so if always using the same cup makes life easier, just go along with it.

I'd be very interested if Nanny Jo had any advice.

princessllama · 07/01/2010 20:23

kazkiss i am going to tell my friend about the beanbag, sorry i read it only after posted

chegirlsgotheartburn · 07/01/2010 20:56

How do you cope with a 2 year old who is simply too gorgeous to be disciplined in anyway?

Its a serious dilemma for me.

I worry.

ShinyAndNew · 07/01/2010 21:27

I have one of those Chegirls. She gets up of a night when she is not meant to . Me and Dh sit in the living room all ready to show her our faces and pack her sraight off to bed again, when she pops her little head around the door, with a huuge cheeky grin.

I'd like to expand on my question (T'is on the first page) well dh'S question. I was suffering from the aftermath of toddler chicken pox and was safely tucked up in bed by that time of night.

She doesn't tantrum when she gets into our bed. She only starts doing that if DH whinges at her. Mainly she will just get in between us, but she is very wriggly.

We could and should put her straight back into her own room, I know that. But she shares her room with dd1 who is school aged. And our house is an old house (v. thin walls) with young children next door.

She would scream bloody murder for hours if we sent her back into her own room. Thus disturbing not only dd1's sleep, but the neighbours too.

callmeovercautious · 07/01/2010 21:33

Hi Jo

Another one here with a Toddler climbing into bed with them.

I am exhausted after 3 years of broken nights. ANY advice is welcome

cheesesarnie · 07/01/2010 21:58

thought of something-

ds2 has just turned 4 and is still wetting his pants often(actually alot).i dont think its an infection as hes fine at nursery and the cm's-uses the toilet,returns in same clothing as i dropped him off in.....but at home he can have 4 accidents in an hour some days.hes mostly fine if naked(which he likes to be)but will still sometimes just wee!its so frustrating.weve tried different potties,different toilet seats,reward charts,new 'special' pants,praise,rewards of choc buttons or pennies.all sorts!i admit at times weve got cross(yep i know i shouldnt).but what do i do!the hv advice was to put him back in nappies but i just didnt agree as hes fine at cm and nursery and had done very well to begin with.he was about 2 when we started potty training-he wanted to wear pants,we didnt push it.he did amazingly well for a few months and then his beloved granny died and since then its been mostly down hill!

sorry for huge post!and this is only one of our problems!dont even get me started on our 8 year old!please come and live with us.

cheesesarnie · 07/01/2010 21:59

oh and 4 yr old is king,he rules myself,dh,dd and ds1.i don't know where or how to start disciplining him.

GreenMonkies · 07/01/2010 22:56

Bicnod and Hubbabubbabba just rock/breastfeed your babies back to sleep. They don't have sleep problems, you have unrealistic expectations (ie, that they should be sleeping all night, going to sleep by alone from awake etc) and the best way to make your lives better and to get more sleep is to accept that this is normal baby behaviour, stop trying to make them behave in an unnatural way (sleeping alone, sleeping for 12 hours without waking etc) and put them in your bed with you so they are content and secure.

dawntigga co-sleep and breastfeed when she wakes.

Shineyandnew and callmeovercautious, just let them sleep with you!!! They won't do it forever, they will grow out of it. But the more you try to make them go back to their own bed the more they will try and get in with you, It's an acceptance and reassurance thing. Once they know they are allowed to sleep in with you, they will chill and feel secure and stop waking in the night so much.

And ssd I totally agree, 100%!!!!!!

StewieGriffinsMom · 07/01/2010 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShinyAndNew · 07/01/2010 23:57

GreenMonkies that was my answer to DH when he said that we were 'making a rod for our backs' and that she would never sleep in her own bed, if we let her continue.

Yes, darling you are entirely right. She will still be crawling in with us, complete with new partner when she is 21.

It bothers him more than me. T'would be nice to have my bed back though. She is very wriggly.

GreenMonkies · 08/01/2010 11:51

ShineyAndNew, the more she sleeps with you, the less wriggly she will be. She will "learn" bed-manners, especially if you tell her to lie still and explain that she needs to be less wriggley. I have explained to my youngest (3½) that it's fine to get in with us if she wakes up in the night, just not to wake us. So now I wake up some mornings and she's there, all snuggled up, and I have no idea when she came in as she just got in and lay down quietly and went back to sleep. Every one's a winner!

feralgirl · 08/01/2010 11:54

Have you revised your attitude to extended BFing since being criticised for advising a mother of a 17 month old to quit cold-turkey a couple of years ago?

Lizzzombie · 08/01/2010 22:17

Another nearly 3 year old who doesn't sleep through here. He knows not to do it. He knows he will be rewarded with stickers and ultimately a prize for staying in his own bed. But he still won't stay there.
We spend hours of a night sitting in his room with him.
I'm knackered.

Please can Jo Frost come and do an episode with my son?
He also bites still and he is a very fussy eater.
I'm exhausted.

Beauregard · 09/01/2010 20:50

How do i stop my nearly 4 year old from hurting herself(punches head and digs nails into her face) when she is angry? and to talk and not shout at the top of her voice?

Esty · 03/02/2010 19:43

FAO TIA
Don't know if this is the right place to post replies to these questions?

I saw your question in the Radio Times today and it set alarm bells ringing because I went through exactly the same with my son at the same age. Whilst Jo's answer about communication MAY be right (we tried it, got nowhere...) my first reaction was "Has she got Asperger Syndrome?" All of the things you describe are typical of it, right down to her age. Apologies if this has been replied to before somewhere else, but I only joined to let you know so you don't spend two years battling schools and doctors like we did.Most of the problems are due to hypersensitivity which is a common feature of Aspergers. Turns out my son couldn't cope with school because people might bump into him (he hates being touched), it was too loud (sensitive hearing)and he gets completely thrown by unexpected changes such as substitute teachers..He eats limited food becasue spicy things are jsut too heightened an experience - smells and tastes can make him feel ill. He is very bright but he does not see the point in writing (he can remember everything) so refused to do homework. No amount of rewards/ sanctions worked at first because he found it so awful he would rather have nothing than go to school. I would do lots of research and get a referral from your doctor to have her checked out - the normal reward/ sanction things tend not to work on kids with AS so you could save yourself a lot of heartache. I didn't think my son had AS at first as he has some qualities you wouldn't expect with it, but the more complex a syndrome you discover it is, the more things fit than don't.
Also, because their emotion and communication wires are all over place, you could ask her til she was blue in the face why she can't go to school and she won't know - she will only know that she can't.

MNHQ
GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:49

Hello, Jo has come back with answers to some of your questions, which we'll post in a moment, and she'll be coming back with a few more.

MNHQ
GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:50

shinyandnew: How can we stop our two and a half year old daughter getting in our bed at night. She comes in around two every night and when she comes in she throws temper tantrums and tries to dislodge us from the bed. We put up with this for the first few nights as we thought it was a one off but his has been going on for three weeks now and when we try and put her back to bed she screams the house down please help a very tired mum.

JoFrost: When you accepted the situation your child realised that screaming the house down was the ace card. It was taught behaviour overnight. Any parent living in a block of flats should put a note through the doors of the neighbours to let them know that they are doing a sleeping technique to get back into sync with their routine. It should take no more than five to seven days.

MNHQ
GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:50

trinityrhino: How can I stop my nine year old from hating my four year old? I know all about sibling rivalry but it is getting beyond it now.

Jo: First of all I would want to know when do I see this aggression and when does it happen and what do they do. Number one, the behaviour has to be dealt with using discipline. But the positive parenting aspect is to look at what the nine year old needs because somewhere the child is feeling compelled to punish the four year old to get your attention. Then you can build on creating a relationship between the two of them that brings more harmony. Create experiences that will enable a child of nine and four to enjoy being in each other?s company at the same time.