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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

MNHQ

Put your questions to Supernanny, Jo Frost, here

203 replies

JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:32

Jo Frost has been being Supernanny in the US for the last five years but she's shortly due back on our screens with a new show on Channel 4 - the Jo Frost Roadshow - a six part series sees Jo talking to Britain?s parents to find out which issues are really worrying them and which conundrums are driving them mad.

Ahead of the new series the Radio Times thought they'd like to field some real-life parental dillemas to Jo, to make sure she hasn't lost her touch and who better to come up with them than Mumsnetters? So if you'd like her take on any aspect of child-rearing or to hear her suggestions for solving any difficulties you are having with your child's behaviour (and please be as specific as possible) then fire away. We can't promise every question will get answered but we'll try for as many as we can.

Thanks
MNHQ

OP posts:
DollyMessiter · 07/01/2010 01:01

Jo, do you liaise with the school settings of the children you work with?

In some cases it seems the older children have other issues to deal with, and that the behavioural probs at home are just a symptom of this.

It would be interesting to know that the whole environment is taken into consideration.

Lulumama · 07/01/2010 07:25

sparkles07 try offering 8 or 9 oz, a full bottle of the hungry baby milk to ride out the growth spurt. baby rice will not fill a hungry baby,simpky in terms of its volume. milk is far more filling, satisfying and nutritious for a 4 month old, things will settle down again.

GreenMonkies · 07/01/2010 07:34

Aww, it's not a webchat? Boooooo!!!!

MrsNarcissist · 07/01/2010 07:35

Hi Jo....My son, aged 7 and the oldest of four, has been morose for the last three years....he's happy at school and works very very hard. However he has got into the habit of being very grumpy and miserable at home, should we ignore or tackle it head on? Our home is rather chaotic.

BecauseImWorthIt · 07/01/2010 08:01

Having read this, all I can say is thank goodness my DC were born before the media got hold of 'parenting' as a concept.

No doubt we did it all wrong. But I have two well-behaved, polite teenagers who slept through the night from 4-5 months and eat most things put in front of them.

How on earth did we manage?

FatGirlThin · 07/01/2010 08:18

Well said Custardo.
It's the parents who don't know how to behave, Jo is trying to train them and help them teach the children what is and isn't acceptable. I'd love to see how the I don't make them apologise, they are their own people blah blah etc would cope with the feral children supernanny has to deal with.

I think children should be made to apologise with an explanation of why.

We've used the step for years and we have two very well behaved (generally), funny, imaginative children. We don't call it the 'naughty step' as I don't like that but it gives a place for time out to calm down and it gives an ultimate punishment if they don't stop being naughty after being warned. We hardly have to use it anymore, just the threat is enough. It's a great technique.

FatGirlThin · 07/01/2010 08:20

BecauseI'mWorthIt, I know what you mean but at the same time there are adults who (for a variety of reason) are not good at bringing up their children to work within usual social boundaries. I think some of these supernanny/little angels type programmes can give ideas for techniques etc. You can pick or choose what you use so what's the problem?!

SparrowFflamau · 07/01/2010 08:28

Poor woman. You big mean vipers you

emmarussell · 07/01/2010 08:28

I have two questions - take your pick!

  1. My 4 year old has a phobia of pooing on the loo and will only poo in a nappy. Never has accidents but when I tried to with-hold nappies he held it in for a week and was in agony - obviously not the right approach! What should I do? He starts school this year and it is becoming a problem.
  1. How do you deal with sibling rivalry/ jealousy especially with having 2 boys aged 3 and 4 only a year apart.
GetOrfMoiLand · 07/01/2010 08:36

lol at this thread, and Justine's utter exasperation 'play nicely girls'. We must all seem like errant chidlren sometimes.

I though it was a webchat as well, I thought go is the woman mad coming on here?

I have never liked the naughty step thing, not nice viewing watching kids getting all distressed when they have been outting them back on the step 573 times. What's the point? Yes it will work with some kids but with some others it won't.

I was bloody lucky with dd - she has always been well behaved, no tantrum or anything. Hence she is an only child, if I had another one it would probably be a nightmare and wipe the smugness of my face!

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 07/01/2010 08:36

with all i say above, i will say we do have a time out step I dont disagree with bounderies, consistency and saying sorry, just forcing children to feel bad and say sorry. She ha some good ideals, and i guess least she is trying to deal something hands on about it
So another question would be: Are the ideals you use with families research/practice based or your own opinion/experience on how you think it should be done? Oh and whats the longest time you have spent returning a children to the step??

SparrowFflamau · 07/01/2010 08:39

I was muttering to my BIL a while back about DS behaving like the children on Supernanny, and me having tried the various techniques but sod all working.

He pointed out that it was generally the parents on there with the problem (just from lack of skills iyswim), and I would probably get nothing out of it as it had to be down to some different aspect of life rather than a lack of teaching him how to behave (and BIL is very judgemental, so him thinking I wasn't doing it all wrong is stunning in itself!!).

Having finally had a chance to spend some time focussing all my attention on just DS for the first time properly in a v long time - he has been a changed boy . It seems to be my nightmare child just wanted me yes, he is still hyper and a handful, but he isn't being wilfully naughty iyswim.

ilovesprouts · 07/01/2010 08:39

sleep my son will not go to bed hes always awake at 12pm even when he goes to bed at 8pm ,he has gdd ,and hes tierd the nxt morning ,

SparrowFflamau · 07/01/2010 08:43

Not that any of that was relevant

Step has never worked for us. I sit and hold DS and talk to him (I think it was Hunkermunker who suggested I try that). He kicks and flails for the first minute or so, but as he calms down and starts listening to me explaining why he is being held, he will respond etc. He bit Psychoboy1 last week (many he's not bitten in a long time), by the time we had finished with me holding him, he was genuinely sorry about it and went to say sorry with feeling. Talking calmly to them and holding them in a tight hug (imo) makes a lot more sense than plonking them on a step alone at this age. Obv depends on the child though

MrsNarcissist · 07/01/2010 08:43

Sometimes we get stuck on our own parenting paths and need a little kick to try something new and, perhaps, obvious to some.,

ssd · 07/01/2010 08:59

I've been a nanny and trust me, getting other folks kids to do stuff is a peice of piss

getting your own to do stuff when you've had 3 hours sleep per week and feel like shit is a whole different story

sorry but this supernanny stuff is a load of old c**p, someone who hasn't kids coming in and being an expert - yeah sure

we're all experts before we have them

misdee · 07/01/2010 09:07

ok, I have a 4 (almost 5) year old who has been a PITA since dd45 asrrived. she wont leave dd4, dispite us saying over and over not to pick up dd4, dont carry her etc etc. she has hurt dd4 by doing this, and we are all worn out by it.

i dont know if she has a hearing problem as says 'waht' a lot, selective hearing that all kids go through, or is just pushing boundries.

she is constantly clambering on people for 'cuddles' but not doing it gently, she presses herself right in and tbh it hurts.

everything we ask, or a small telling off, or a no, is met with huge tears.

i am exhausted.

i feel her role as youngest of the family has been moved and left her confused. I am trying to give hjer more 1-2-1 time, but with 4 girls its very hard to, especially as dd4 is still breastfed and also very demanding.

i feel we have lost our lovely little girl to be replaced with a part-demon part-angel. at tim,es she is wonbderful, she is funny, charming and playful. atm she is playing mummies with dd4 and is reading dd4 books and playing nicely.

she has been through an awfukl lotm, with her first 2 years of life being spent trailing backl and forth with mwe to visit dh in hospital when he is very ill, and has gone from it being just me and her during the day, to me, dh and her all at home when the other two are atschool, to then adding dd4 in the mix.

sorry for the ramble, but just dont know where to start

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/01/2010 09:08

lol ssd

RockBird · 07/01/2010 09:16

This thread shows why MN has the reputation that it has in the wider world. If you don't like or don't agree with Supernanny then fine, but coming on here for the sole purpose of slagging her off is childish. Pin her down about her methods but grow up a bit ffs.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/01/2010 09:29

We use time out with ds (3) for behaviour such as biting, hitting, kicking etc. For most other things we use "time in" where we sit and hold him, restricting his movements until he calms down.

We've found this approach works well and has pretty much stopped the biting issues we have had, but when dh puts him in time out he will wet or soil himself in protest. Sometimes he will try and make himself sick. It's only when dh puts him in time out, not me - possibly because dh is more of a soft touch than me and will give him the attention he's striving for.

What should we do when he's acting out like this? Ignore it? It's very hard for us to ignore our distressed toddler sticking his finger down his throat, but at the same time he's in time out because he's been agressive (usually to his baby sister) so we can't make his attention seeking behaviour the issue when it's his agressive behaviour that we're addressing!

Oops, turned into a bit of a ramble there, sorry!

southeastastra · 07/01/2010 09:30

i really like jo frost and have used her methods. ds(8) also loves it.

southeastastra · 07/01/2010 09:31

(and he was very hard work to bring up)

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/01/2010 09:43

Ooh I have another question - is Nick Frost any relation to you?

memoo · 07/01/2010 09:47

I would like to ask wether Jo feels she can really, truely understand the emotional turmoil that comes with parenthood given that she has never had children herself?

Ronaldinhio · 07/01/2010 09:49

sorry to be so, well, rude but why are her clothes always a size too small?

also doesn't she ever want to hit the parents or throw a massive tantrum as they are generally vile and weak as water

delete away

puts herself on naughty step for many minutes