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MNHQ

Put your questions to Supernanny, Jo Frost, here

203 replies

JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:32

Jo Frost has been being Supernanny in the US for the last five years but she's shortly due back on our screens with a new show on Channel 4 - the Jo Frost Roadshow - a six part series sees Jo talking to Britain?s parents to find out which issues are really worrying them and which conundrums are driving them mad.

Ahead of the new series the Radio Times thought they'd like to field some real-life parental dillemas to Jo, to make sure she hasn't lost her touch and who better to come up with them than Mumsnetters? So if you'd like her take on any aspect of child-rearing or to hear her suggestions for solving any difficulties you are having with your child's behaviour (and please be as specific as possible) then fire away. We can't promise every question will get answered but we'll try for as many as we can.

Thanks
MNHQ

OP posts:
youwillnotwin · 06/01/2010 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 06/01/2010 23:42

RTK - hope you're joking....

HerBeatitude · 06/01/2010 23:50

Whenever I've seen your shows I always think it's the parents who belong on the naughty step, many of them are clearly barking. How do you resist telling them so and do you find it frustrating that you can only approach the issue as a child behavioural problem rather than a family dysfunction problem as it obviously sometimes is?

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 06/01/2010 23:59

how do you feel about the suggestion from other parenting programme that "time out, naughty step" should not be longer than it takes for the child to calm down and by then forcing the child to say "sorry" you are then bringing this up again and therefore the calm does not last, oh that it also lowers the childs self esteem?

(not sure if i was allowed to mention other parenting programme)

HerBeatitude · 07/01/2010 00:02

Oh god I hate this thing of forcing children to say sorry.

They should only apologise if they mean it. So many adults appear to have real difficulty in apologising when they're in the wrong, and I'm sure it has something to do with being forced to apologise when they were feelign angry and resentful and beaten.

JodieO · 07/01/2010 00:02

So why when people don't want to ask questions to someone they don't want to are they prodded to ask anyway? Seems shit to me....Can't stand "Super Nanny" personally, one mould fits all? Yeah sure. Get a grip on real children and be around them 24/7 for years, then come back and talk about it.

CantucciniVS · 07/01/2010 00:05

Message withdrawn

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 07/01/2010 00:06

also when they lose rewards they have spent time gaining, isnt it counter productive?? they work soo hard and then lose out for one issue? Im all for disapline just dont think its the right way forward for helping children understand fairness, self esteem, self control and pride.

RTKangaMummy · 07/01/2010 00:07

he goes for a wee and then back on the step

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 07/01/2010 00:08

have a potty nearby? or just tell him to go and then put him back when his finihsed?

CantucciniVS · 07/01/2010 00:08

Message withdrawn

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 07/01/2010 00:12

yes but they quickly learn if they say sorry, then its ok. better for them to feel sorry than to made to say it.

RTKangaMummy · 07/01/2010 00:12

i am very tired and should be in bed and sorry i am being dim here but i don't understand

you want him on the step

he wants to get off to supposedly do a wee

so he does a wee and then starts the time again

keep doing that and he will get bored with the game he is tryng to play {wee}

and you get what you want

JodieO · 07/01/2010 00:15

They don't need to be FORCED to say sorry though, help them to understand why they need to say sorry and let them deal with it in their own time. Saying the word sorry only teaches a child to lie (if they are forced to say it but don't mean it) and doesn't mean anything. Helping them to know why they should say sorry for x action is far more beneficial imo.

Tortington · 07/01/2010 00:15

she comes across as your average josephine - not a boden wearing snotty cow who knows best. and the pedantry over the way she says certain words - is quite frankly just pathetic. get over it.

i really do not think there is anything wrong with teaching a child to say sorry - even if they are too young to comprehend its true meaning.

its rather like telling a 3 year old that they have to sit at the table until mummy finishes eating - they don't quite undertsand why, but its good manners and these must be taught.

i think programmes like these are useful in a vaccume of parenting advice from other sources. People don't have parenting classes as a norm, and this is all about training the parent - not the child. I think most paretns forget that.

JodieO · 07/01/2010 00:20

See I disagree with you there, I really do think it's wrong. Far better to talk to your child and help them to understand the meaning rather than them just saying a random thing they don't mean or understand. My almost 3 year old understands sorry, but he isn't made to say it and neither are the older two but they do say, and more importantly, mean it; off their own back.

All those rules and regulations don't sit well with me, it's not the army and I really don't like (personally) that way of doing things. I prefer the speaking to and helping along with aproach.

CantucciniVS · 07/01/2010 00:20

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 07/01/2010 00:21

well i tell my kids to do things as well as talk to them

different strokes

CantucciniVS · 07/01/2010 00:30

Message withdrawn

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 07/01/2010 00:33

Hi Jo.

I have a lovely, caring 10 year old boy. He's always been very, very brigh and has always seen himself as an 'equal' to adults. I battle with him on a daily basis as he appears to want the last word, when he's asked to do something he has to answer back, when he's told off he has to answer back to justify his actions, he's on the defensive all the time "I was just...", he doesn't quite get the child/adult role and talks (in great depth) about how children are undervalued and treated as 'lower beings'. He see's how children are treated in our society and it really sets him off, if a parent is shouting at their child on the path in front of us he has to comment on how unfair it is, how do I support him? My biggest fear is that he will say something like this and someone will turn around and slap him.

Thankyou

CantucciniVS · 07/01/2010 00:39

Message withdrawn

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 07/01/2010 00:41

Hi Jo,

I'd be very interested to know what you would say to people who suggest that some of your techniques are too much like dog training, and focus too much on extrinsic rewards rather than intrinsic.

I'm having this ongoing battle with my child's Headteacher you see. I'm on your side by the way.

Many thanks,

Starlight

PoppyIsApain · 07/01/2010 00:46

How do i get my 18 month old son to cut down from 3 8oz bottles at night to just one, he drinks plenty in the day, doesnt go hungry but will stay awake till 2am some nights till he gets that 3rd bottle.
Thank you

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 07/01/2010 00:48

Could you give him water Poppy? This way, if he drinks it then he's waking because he's thirsty, if he doesn't then he's in a milk habit and should stop waking when he learns he will only get water.

PoppyIsApain · 07/01/2010 00:54

Good idea, ill try that