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MNHQ

Put your questions to Supernanny, Jo Frost, here

203 replies

JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:32

Jo Frost has been being Supernanny in the US for the last five years but she's shortly due back on our screens with a new show on Channel 4 - the Jo Frost Roadshow - a six part series sees Jo talking to Britain?s parents to find out which issues are really worrying them and which conundrums are driving them mad.

Ahead of the new series the Radio Times thought they'd like to field some real-life parental dillemas to Jo, to make sure she hasn't lost her touch and who better to come up with them than Mumsnetters? So if you'd like her take on any aspect of child-rearing or to hear her suggestions for solving any difficulties you are having with your child's behaviour (and please be as specific as possible) then fire away. We can't promise every question will get answered but we'll try for as many as we can.

Thanks
MNHQ

OP posts:
MerlinsBeard · 07/01/2010 12:00

I have a 6 year old who is just a typical 6 year old, a 4 year old with possible ASD and his understanding is V poor, and a typical 2 year old. I want ONE punishment that works for all of them. Naughty step is too long for 4 year old (he forgets why he is there), we have money in a pot on a monday and take out for bad behaviour/put in for good nd they get to keep whats left on a sunday (pocket money too!) which is ok ish

SimpleAsABC · 07/01/2010 12:23

Kind of along the same lines of a previous poster but I was wondering if you've ever gone into a situation where you've thought that there could potentially be child protection concerns?

What would happen in this situation? Would social services become involved?

Would you go through with the show in an attempt to try and help?

Where do you draw the line between poor parenting skills and abusive parents? Who ultimately is responsible for making that decision?

Ignore the many twunts on here, i'm sure we'd all suffer the same fate at their hands if we were under scrutiny on tv.. wore what we wanted and spoke with out a plum in our mouth!

rubyslippers · 07/01/2010 12:32

i have a question

DS is 3.5 years old and has a mouth on him

He answers back like a teenager

He parrots stuff back at me, and thinks saying sorry sweetly makes everything ok

he can express himself very well (maybe too well) and it is wearing me down

everything is a battle of wills and he can whine for Britains

also, he will ask the same thing over and over and over again - even if i have answered the first time. Is this a developmental thing?

so, any tips?

thanks

PS - we also have a DD who is 13 weeks and his behaviour did get a lot worse when she arrived

EffiePerine · 07/01/2010 12:37

Wilf: I struggle with HTT and my DS1 as well. I really want it to work, but he just laughs at me... the only thing that does work is lots more attention, but with an active 1 yo this is difficult.

dawntigga · 07/01/2010 13:42

OK, I'm a pragmatic, attachment parent, please tell me how to get my 9 month old to sleep longer at night without controlled crying.

I understand if you use CC and it works for you - fab, but I can't and won't do it as I think it's cruel.

WondersIfThere'sAMagicWandToMakeBabiesSleepTiggaxx

PS a webchat would have been sooooooo much more fun

LynetteScavo · 07/01/2010 13:48

Stuff Jo...Bring on the Afgahn Hostage Man!

missorinoco · 07/01/2010 13:49

I'm also uncomfortable with all the personal attacks on Jo Frost's dress, speech and appearance. Well said VT.

I have a few questions regarding discipline:

When DS hits, kicks etc, I tell him that he shouldn't do it, give him a warning, then go on the step as per Jo's advice. He's 2 1/2.

How long between offences before I restart from scratch. ie if he hits, then does it again, or pushes twenty minutes later I give him a warning and so on. Is that too long for him.?

Also, DH thinks we should be using a one strike and you out approach (straight on the step) when he deliberately hurts his little sister for no reason (she's 6 months old). I'm against this as the Supernanny book says that he's too young for this. I'm wondering if I'm being too literal though and missing the point. (As in, is she thinking FGS woman, that was so on purpose, stick the blighter on the step!)

TIA.

SameAsYou · 07/01/2010 14:09

Hi Jo

I have a newphew who will only do the the following

  • wear shirts
  • wear shirts that are stripey
  • only wear stripey underwear
  • won't eat from a plate/spoon that has any sort of pattern on
  • cutlery has to be plain no patterns
  • won't wear pyjamas
  • only have a certain cup that is plain

I have read up on highly senstive or out of sync child but not sure if anything applies

I have a DS who is the same age and i always thought if my DS was like this I would no way never let then dictate what he will wear or say what plate he will have lunch served on. Having seeing the state DN gets himself into I can see whay she lets him have the plain items, it applies to most things in his daily life and is ruling things.

Any advice would be great please

CocoK · 07/01/2010 14:16

Many of the children in your programmes have quite serious or ingrained behavioural problems. Do you ever worry that parents might be applying your (sometimes quite tough) strategies to situations where they are not appropriate? For example, I've observed a lot of parents using the naughty step for tiny misdemeanors and with children who are so young they have no idea why they're being punished in this way. Used in this way your technique just aggravates the situation. I would welcome programmes that focus on families with less dramatic home lives/problems, but I suppose that wouldn't make such good TV...

The other issue I have with your programme is the privacy of the children - do you ever worry about how they will feel when they grow up having been exposed in this way to the nation at large? I have often felt very sorry and embarrassed watching these troubled little souls laid bare, and have stopped watching Supernanny as a result.

cheesesarnie · 07/01/2010 14:19

will think of things.but a general question-can you come to my house?

Swedington · 07/01/2010 14:49

Jo - Have you seen this website? Just type ceptable acceptable into the box and it will say it back to you, correctly.

Gw'aaan it won't take much time out.

coldtits · 07/01/2010 15:29

If I was her I'd tell us to fuck off

Mshalfcut · 07/01/2010 15:33

My thoughts exactly coldtits

tellnoone · 07/01/2010 15:38

Dear Jo,

You asked for the issues that are really concerning parents. An issue that really concerns me is the advertising of infant formula milk.

Will your new show be sponsored again by an infant formula milk company? Although not illegal, are you aware that it contravenes the WHO 1981 International Code of the Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes? And are you aware that advertising works and that the infant formula milk companies wouldn't spend so much on TV advertising if it didn't work? Are you aware that advertising a 'follow-on' milk is more about brand awareness and therefore the normalisation of formula feeding? Are you happy to be associated with and profit from such a formula milk company that encourages and also profits from the normalisation of formula feeding in the uk?

Thanks

Swedington · 07/01/2010 15:39

coldtits - It's not a webchat. As I understand it, MNHQ are just going to pass on any Qs to the Radio Times.

southeastastra · 07/01/2010 15:39

agree with coldtits and halfcut. you lot sound like morons

Heqet · 07/01/2010 15:53

How do you discipline a child who doesn't care what you do / say to them or what punishment you dole out? How do you modify the behaviour of such a child (autistic) when the truth is a child is only 'punished' because of how they feel about what you do / say? In truth a child punishes themselves.

So if they don't care no matter what you do, how can you discipline them?

If you can solve my problem I will give you a million pounds and come round to your house every day and kiss your feet.

neenz · 07/01/2010 16:25

If you are not prepared to leave your baby to cry - ever - then you just have to accept you are going to have disturbed sleep. So either find another time to sleep or just accept that you will be tired for a few years.

VinegarTits · 07/01/2010 16:26

i sure she will still have a read of the thread herself

i agree we sound like a bunch of morons, childish ones

Prettybetty · 07/01/2010 16:29

Jo Frost - scares the shit out of me...i am afraid of her....there was something about her severe look and her patronizing tone that makes me switch off...

That kind of tv format she was casted for is very tired now and not sure she can move on from that "character"

no questions from me- not sure I'd follow her advice!

Anyone know which are her qualifications, experience?

Heqet · 07/01/2010 16:29

not all of us I hope, VT!

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail · 07/01/2010 16:31

Jo,

How do you deal with behaviours picked up at school?

How do you 'toughen up' an overly sensitive child without them feeling as if they have to hide emotions?

How can you deal with any behavioural problems if the dad is a complete dick who will a.not support his wife and/or b.go from fun daddy to shouty daddy within a matter of seconds?

Thanks.

LynetteScavo · 07/01/2010 17:08

SameASYou - you have an interesting question. I think you should add the age of your DN.

Mincepiedermama · 07/01/2010 18:00

I agree with Custy and Vinegartits and find the rudeness early on in the thread very nasty and unnecessary. If you don't agree with Jo's methods by all means debate them as ferociously as you like but don't club together to make snidey remarks about the way she talks and even the way she dresses FFS! It's pathetic, snobby and frankly unsisterly.

I think she has a refreshing approach. Firm and assertive without being aggressive. I have certainly used some of her methods to good effect with my four. It's amazing how many parents, for example, don't get down to eye level and talk firmly to their out of control, thoughtless brats. Also the naughty step has worked pretty well and those who think it's a form of child abuse or ritual humiliation need to get a grip.

And PMSL at the outrage expressed by people who don't think their children should never be held to account and told to apologise for their behaviour to others. That's such a ridiculous, wishy washy load of nonsense. They should be made to say sorry in the same way they should be made to say please and thankyou at the appropriate times. They may not feel sorry but in these instances they certainly should feel sorry and encouraging them to say it is just another way of teaching right from wrong when it comes to respect for others.

PeachyRingsInTheOld · 07/01/2010 18:05

Well said spiedermama.

I have a question.

DS4 is 21 months and has taken up head banging in a big way.It'salways tantrum related so we don't think it'sanything linked top more severe issues (we have the asd kids as well) but the only way forwards we can see is by immediately grabbing him for safety, which seems to reward it.

It's very scary to witness and the first time we've encountered this.