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MNHQ

Put your questions to Supernanny, Jo Frost, here

8 replies

JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:32

Jo Frost has been being Supernanny in the US for the last five years but she's shortly due back on our screens with a new show on Channel 4 - the Jo Frost Roadshow - a six part series sees Jo talking to Britain?s parents to find out which issues are really worrying them and which conundrums are driving them mad.

Ahead of the new series the Radio Times thought they'd like to field some real-life parental dillemas to Jo, to make sure she hasn't lost her touch and who better to come up with them than Mumsnetters? So if you'd like her take on any aspect of child-rearing or to hear her suggestions for solving any difficulties you are having with your child's behaviour (and please be as specific as possible) then fire away. We can't promise every question will get answered but we'll try for as many as we can.

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JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:48

Now be nice people. I've had enough aggro for one night...

MNHQ

JustineMumsnet · 06/01/2010 22:53

Look I've got to go because a man who's been held kidnapped in Afghanistan for a week has just arrived for dinner, so just be nice and ask some questions and stuff - so i can put them in the Radio Times, Ok?

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:49

Hello, Jo has come back with answers to some of your questions, which we'll post in a moment, and she'll be coming back with a few more.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:50

shinyandnew: How can we stop our two and a half year old daughter getting in our bed at night. She comes in around two every night and when she comes in she throws temper tantrums and tries to dislodge us from the bed. We put up with this for the first few nights as we thought it was a one off but his has been going on for three weeks now and when we try and put her back to bed she screams the house down please help a very tired mum.

JoFrost: When you accepted the situation your child realised that screaming the house down was the ace card. It was taught behaviour overnight. Any parent living in a block of flats should put a note through the doors of the neighbours to let them know that they are doing a sleeping technique to get back into sync with their routine. It should take no more than five to seven days.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:50

trinityrhino: How can I stop my nine year old from hating my four year old? I know all about sibling rivalry but it is getting beyond it now.

Jo: First of all I would want to know when do I see this aggression and when does it happen and what do they do. Number one, the behaviour has to be dealt with using discipline. But the positive parenting aspect is to look at what the nine year old needs because somewhere the child is feeling compelled to punish the four year old to get your attention. Then you can build on creating a relationship between the two of them that brings more harmony. Create experiences that will enable a child of nine and four to enjoy being in each other?s company at the same time.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:50

pinky10: My little girl of four will not try anything new to eat, she just says 'yuk' and won't even try a spoonful. I think it all relates back to when we were on holiday when she was nearly two and we all got really bad stomach bugs. All she will really eat is Fruit, pizza if cheese and tomato, spaghetti with sauces with no lumps, sweet and sour noodles, toast and cereal.

Jo: Stop serving all the food she likes. A strong-willed girl will say I am not going to eat unless you give me what I want. When you hold ground and give your child a couple of choices so they feel they are in control, they will succumb.

In the Road Show I am going to help a family where the girl would not eat anything but Sugar Puffs. But when she is given a choice and she refuses then mother must pick one and the girl will pick the other and next time she will have the one she chooses. Leave the food for 30 minutes, but do not go and cook something else you know the child will like. It is incredibly important to hold ground or you have the beginning of faddy eating.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:51

bicnod: How can I get my 8 month old to sleep better at night without using controlled crying/cry it out or any form of crying? He no longer feeds during the night and goes down for naps awake during the day and he's usually awake when first put to bed. Very occasionally he will sleep through so I know he can do it, but more often than not he wakes 2, 3, 4 or even 5 times in the night and needs rocking back to sleep. We need matchsticks to prop open our eyes most days!

JoFrost: We know that controlled crying does no psychological damage. This child goes to sleep in the afternoon while awake but needs rocking in the night time. In effect, the mother has become a human pacifier ? every time he wakes up she rocks him. The baby has learnt that if he cries enough mum will come back into the room and rock him for between five minutes and an hour and a half.

I have not found a situation where if the child is content with the food plan and milk they will not sleep at night. They need a technique in place. I would start by doubling the time before I go into the room when he cries. I have never been in a house longer where it takes longer than seven days to solve.

MNHQ

GeraldineMumsnet · 05/02/2010 10:52

eccentricagallumbits: My daughter is 11. This is a list of things I'd like to fix:

  1. Eating - she only eats bread and chicken.
  2. School - she hates it and frequently refuses to go. no obvious reason, she just hates it.
  3. She swears and shouts and is generally verbally abusive.
  4. She breaks things.
  5. She is grumpy and negative about everything, all the time.
  6. She refuses to do homework of any sort.
  7. She won't try new things.
  8. She is so phobic about various things it rules her life.
  9. I defy you to fix her.

JoFrost: I think the most important thing here is a serious breakdown in communication. The fact is that she is only doing what 11 year olds do.

It is dangerous because you are going to create mileage between yourself and your daughter. You must lead by example. If she will only eat chicken and bread it is important to talk about it and perhaps allow her some choice of what food she eats.

Why does the child refuse to go to school? Don't ask questions which result in only a yes or no answer. Stimulate conversation; She?s just started secondary school, are there things she enjoys? Has she fitted in?

Are there changes in mood or behaviour where she is retreating to her room? Is there bullying? Explore everything and look for the signs so that your daughter can reach out and ask for help. It is the parents who have the ability to open the door so the child feels that they can ask for help.

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