MNHQ could you explain something please.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

I noticed tonight that when you create a thread it shows up in the active list unless you create it in SN children (not sure if same for other SN area). Is this supposed to be the case and why. I am not sure i understand the logic.

Thank you.

Well, I am not MNHQ, but I know the answer!

SN topic is opt in, as opposed to all the other topics which are opt out. In other words, for SNs to show up in your active list, you have to go to Customize and specifically tell the site that you want it in your active list. All other topics you have to go to Customize and tell the site you don't want it in your active list.

(The opt-in status was requested by the SN parents, because otherwise often other parents would see a SN thread in Active Conversations and jump in with an answer without realising that it was a SN thread and that what they were about to say was therefore crashingly inappropriate)

It's not something I've ever felt especially comfortable with tbh - I take Butterbeer's point about inappropriate responses, but it also makes SN seem like something you can just shut away and pretend doesn't exist.

I'd rather tolerate 10 tactless comments if there can be at least 1 person who comes away with a better understanding of the needs and pressures of SN on both children and their families as a result of reading a thread.

I would agree with that hassled. And I don't even have a SN child.

Hi Hassled, it's an interesting point. We'll chat about it amongst the team on Monday but Butterbeer is right, the opt in status was a request.

I am enjoying the phrase 'crashingly inappropriate' by the way

There were some very hurtful threads with people who hadn't realised they were on the SN board condemning the behaviour of children and parents. I understand what you are saying, but parents using the SN board had had enough of it.

Why does it say 'CatherineMumsnet (from MNHQ)'? Is the 'Mumsnet' in the name not good enough? Or have you have sneaky namechangers calling themselves 'KatherineMumsnet' or similar?

Like this you mean, Trillian ??

heh heh heh

Who's that?

oh it was so much fun, you would post in sn about something you did and people would jump in not realising it was sn and tell you how terrible you are.
I for one would not post in sn if it lost it's opt in/out

I'm with 2shoes. It's a support board, not an educational service.

If anyone wants/needs educating, the SN crew do often post outside that particular board, often on SN topics that crop up in non-SN conversation. It's not a ghetto. It's a safe space.

There was a lot of discussion to come to the decision to make it this way. Please don't change it back.

Sorry, I'm with Flamesparrow, 2shoes and r3dh3d. Please leave the opt in/out option! It wouldn't scare me off, but it would scare off people whose opinion I value...We NEED the support of the SN board.

Can I add to that? Please leave it how it is, but what about having a note at the top of active convos reminding people that they don't see SN unless they have opted in?

yes, I really don't think most SN board posters would want it to revert.

I'll bow to the majority view . But still can't quite get my head around the fact that people post on threads without seeing what topic it's in. It's not difficult to see.

Agree with the op in thing, its not a learning experience for random poster these are real people, real children. If people want to learn then they can read the threads by all means, but this way it stops the potential for unnecassary hurt and upset.

*opt

I sometimes don't see what topic I am on, especially if a interesting thread title catches my eye. (I always want to post on the "what do you wish your FB status could be" one...click it - then I realise its in preg!)

So someone could see a post about a child refusing to sleep in their bed, poster very tired, impacting on family and all very stressful. Someone comes along sees the title and thinks "Thats rediculas!" and starts posting about how the parent should be in control bla bla...having no idea about the situation. So the already frazled OP now feels angry/like shit and they were already stressed out anyway, and have to spend time explaing when what they really need are support, understanding and possibly some advice from those who understand.

I can understand the reasons I just didnt know it was a opt in thing. I occassionally head to SN for advice with a boarderline SN kid and not a regular so did know the logic and wanted to know why. I was just confused and hoping it wasnt my computer/connection doing mad things again.

(PSt have you yet managed to get weekly thingies through yet. I will have to hit hotmail over head with a fish or something its getting stupid!)

are they going to your junk mail folder?

I had to change from Hotmail to Googlemail to be sure of getting the MN news & roundup regularly.

please leave it as it is.

I, to my shame, posted something about nappies and while it wasn't rude or mean, it was in sn and I hadn't realised and i have always worried i upset someone.

I agree, people post in sn for specific support.
Always happy to carry the flag of inclusion and enlightenment into other posts, invited or not, but it gets upsetting and annoying to have to explain over and over again why (for example) an ASD child can't be judged or treated in the same way as an NT.
Plus, it makes the unaware but enthusiastic poster feel stupid, crass and embarrassed. Or just cross.
So, voting for opt in.

Please do not change it.