MNHQ could you explain something please.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

I noticed tonight that when you create a thread it shows up in the active list unless you create it in SN children (not sure if same for other SN area). Is this supposed to be the case and why. I am not sure i understand the logic.

Thank you.

I agree, please leave it as it is. I don't think some posters would post half the stuff they did if they thought others would post without thinking it was SN.

Please leave it as an opt in.

please do not change it last thing we need is someon jumping down our throats as they not seen what topic its on even if was well meaning

Hopefully, MNHQ won't ignore all the comments from those that would be affected by a change.
If they do, however, can I suggest a strategy that may be successful?
If we, as a group, leap upon unsuspecting posters like a pack of ravening sn hyenas and shred them for their lack of perception, then HQ may be flooded by hundreds of posters begging for us to be given back our opt in corner again.
Just a thought.

I defo agree it needs to be left as opt in. It isn't for educating. Threads on the main board are often being linked to within the sn forum where people might need support. I feel safe there, and that I can speak freely. I wouldn't if it was how it used to be, and I rarely used it then.

I do wish it would show up in active convos for me though! I have opted in and I still don't see it.

I don't want it to change

Completely agree with post that these are real people's lives

I can see the other side of the argument, however I feel far more comfortable and 'shielded' that the board is an opt in and not just there in active convs

I post loads of intimate stuff about my dc. In effort to connect with other people in same situation / seek information and support. Mostly at night when I have the opportunity / time. The fact that these could be stumbled on and read in mawkish curiousity makes me feel uneasy. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed its just that this is my dc's personal, private information, not mine. The thought that my post about dc having 2 bumholes or whatever could be casually digested alongside the jovial trivialities, piss taking and banter that I also love mn for is icky. Kind of like I am violating my dc IYKWIM. If it doesn't concern you, why have it dangled under yr nose? The fact that my posts could be searched and found by someone actively seeking out that sort of info doesn't bother me as they obviously have some need for that info.

My child is also life limited. I post about this on sn. A lot of people inc close family and friends do not know this and we don't want them to. We want them to treat our dc exactly as they are and don't want their pity

It wouldn't be that helpful on here either to get lots of responses. Well intented they may be, I'm not angling for sympathy. I want constructive advice or to connect with someone in similar position, I can them email or whatever.

I would feel 'too exposed' posting about my dc and it being there on main board for all to see. I guess in many respects the veneer of security the opt in on sn is somewhat misleading cos its not private at all. Maybe I should just bugger off to SKITUK

But I like it here, coasting on that fact that it's highly unlikely that someone who knows me in rl will be trauling through the sn boards cos they have no need to

Tis a difficult one

Please don't change it.

SN is very welcoming to anyone who wants to join in or lurk but unfortunately hurtful/odd comments could get posted if the opt in is not kept. Please don't feel it is hidden away, it's only a safety net, it won't stop anyone joining in.

I've just posted this on a SN thread, and feels it needs repeating:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It was me who made the first comment re feeling uncomfortable with the opt-in and the need to eductae, and I hadn't thought it through, and I certainly had absolutely no idea of the strength of feeling about it. I completely understand why people feel the way they do re safe havens.

I think CatherineMumsnet was just being polite when she made the "interesting point" post to me - it didn't seem to me that MNHQ have any formal plans at all to review it. I'm sorry that it's caused so much upset.

oh blimey..don't change it. I post in other areas (and about ds's sn too) but the sn area itself is a brilliant information tool and a welcoming safe haven and support area for anyone going through the mill.

I don't think it has Hassled.

We are just jumping in to make sure it doesn't change. It really is very lovely

Hey Hassled, Trout is right, not upset just voicing opinions

Hassled, you don't need to feel bad, just use this as an example of why the users of SN choose this way.

Thanks folks - am feeling a bit less rubbish .

as a mum of NT children, i posted once on a SN thread about constipation, recommending movicol etc...
my input was clearly not welcome, as my issues though extreme to me/ for an NT child, were clearly well out of the realm of every day problems to the SN mums.
so, i would also agree to keep it as an opt-in. no malice was intended, at all by me, i thought i was being helpful sharing my experience, but i was jumped on and felt a bit stupid/embarrassed.

Clearly if, like me, you don't have experience of an SN child then your input really isn't very useful to this topic.

I think we were kinder about your advice from moving from a cot to a bed.

I've been in MN for 6 years and never used Active Convos, Opt Ins or Opt Outs, maybe I should try it? I just go to the home page and scroll to SN.
I don't think people should feel that it is so safe though, isn't it the case that anyone searching the internet for a particular topic can look at MN threads? I remember a few years ago a couple of people on MN/SN being CATd by someone who'd never used MN but had Googled CF or ASD or something

Davros I agree it isn't "safe" you still have what I call the copy and pasters, people who lurk on sn and then use what is written on other threads to back up thier arguments