Why do some posts on Mn get ignored?

[GreySharks]

I understand posters don’t have all the answers but earlier I posted in AIBU for traffic, I say it had a “20 viewing” next to it and not one of those 20 replied, it is quite disheartening especially because i really do feel alone day to day with just everything regarding my son

Lots of reasons. If i open a thread I don't reply if
. I have nothing useful to say
. The post was too long or incomprehensible
. I'm not in the right mood
AIBU board moves at a fast pace and posts can get lost.

Try replying to your own post with a comment like 'hopefully bump' (but after a couple of hours, not minutes)

You may also be better off on a more specialised board, depending on the issue.

If it's not an aibu, but there for traffic, I usually ignore it
If it is a thread that has been done a million times, I'll likely not post.
The thing is, you don't know if its the type of post that gets an answer , until you open and read it

Posts on AIBU drop out of active quite quickly and because it's a general topic, it doesn't get people checking for new threads as they do in quieter, more niche topics.

If it's about your son, try 'parenting' or 'relationships' or if applicable there are topics specifically for teens, adult children, SEN children, a range of health and other issues.

I haven’t seen your post, but if it is support you are after I definitely wouldn’t post in AIBU. Depending on what the issue is and how you’re feeling, I would suggest a health or mental health type board? Apologies if I’m way off the mark there.

And reading but not posting a reply - I do that when I don’t feel qualified to answer, don’t know what to suggest, don’t have anything new to add (only when there are some answers already though), am only looking while waiting for the kettle to boil, internet goes down (that has happened a lot today and a few of my replies have just vanished while I’m trying to post them).

And I think a lot of it is simply timing. What is on tv? Are you competing with toddlers bathtime, Sunday lunch, something important on the news? Sometimes one person will randomly reply after hours and hours and then it’s off, you get a conversation going.

Can you link here? And maybe think about posing away from AIBU?

I was thinking about this earlier today OP.
In the last year or so MN has made a real effort to guide users to Featured threads and Trending threads. And I honestly think them trying to attract users to already popular threads is contributing to some threads getting a ridiculous number of replies - often almost saying the same thing or a variation of the same thing. Whilst other threads get no replies or very few
.
I do try to look at threads that aren't being replied to. Sometimes the subject is not one I can usefully contribute to but if possible I will post.
Also sometimes if the OP is just too long and detailed I find it difficult to reply to.

I'm sorry you haven't had any responses OP. It must be really disheartening for you.

I don’t know where the best place it would be to post as it’s a mix of things really, I did repost in education but that’s only a small part of the issue really and it hasn’t gotten any replies yet as i’m typing this

Thank you https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5590393-i-really-resent-being-a-carer-some-times this is the link (if it works)

I don’t know where the best place to put it would actually be, I do think the view count being visible is unhelpful at times especially when you see how many people view it but barely anyone responds to it

I do sometimes go through unanswered threads to see if I can add anything

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/active?tab=unanswered

But many threads are on subjects I know nothing about or have no opinion on. If a poster sounds particularly sad or desperate I occasionally reply to 'bump' the thread but I'm always a bit wary of doing that in case the poster thinks 'Oooh, a reply' and then they see it's not anything of use, just a well-wisher bumping.

I've just looked at you thread OP.
I wonder if Parenting might be a better place for it?

Just found your post @GreySharks . It sounds like things are really difficult and although (as a carer) my situation is different, I really feel for you.

I'd suggest reposting on the Carers or Special needs boards

I have just replied in Education. But I think the SEN board would be a much better place for it. Definitely not AIBU.

The SEN community will get the issue and be helpful, once they see the post.

Hopefully someone with relevant experience will see it now, but in future maybe one of these topics would reach the MNetters with the right expertise?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/child_adolescent_mental_health

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs_teens_and_young_adults

www.mumsnet.com/talk/teenagers

I’ve had a quick read, it looks like a fairly complicated scenario with your son and I wouldn’t really feel qualified to give you advice particularly.

One thing I did see was that when your son was 4/5/6ish it looks like there was a trauma in your family. This will have had an effect on him, there is nothing that you could have done to protect him from that and I don’t mean to suggest that at all, but still, he will be affected. Has he ever had the chance to talk to someone about that? Even when things don’t happen to us directly, we remember them.

There is a child mental health section here, have a look there to see if it might be useful.

And sometimes you need to put yourself first so you are feeling stronger and more able to help your son, so don’t be afraid of seeking help for you too.

Thank you everyone i’ll have a look at the other board, I also struggled to find a title because it’s not just one issue like i resent being a carer atm but I don’t know if i want advice specifically about how to be a carer if that makes sense, but then it’s a longish post because i feel if i say one thing that’s what posters will focus on. I posted the other day about his sm use hoping to get some advice about how to talk to him about posting online then I got posters focusing on the fact i allowed his piercings and dyed hair and made me sound like a bad mum due to it as if that’s the cause of his issues, i do appreciate the kind posters but some make it sound so easy 😅

@NoCommentingFromNowOnHe was only in reception at the time but he did get some support i think it was mostly play therapy because he was so young, I don’t know if he’d be open to having more now but I doubt it as he just prefers being on his own and hates talking to people

Tbh I don’t think it’s much to do with where it is posted, unless someone is posting in a board that’s hidden from active. It’s just sometimes people have nothing useful to say - I don’t I’m afraid for your thread so while I read it I just came away feeling sorry for your troubles but with absolutely nothing helpful or useful to say.

Hello @GreySharks thanks for posting. It's likely not a case of being ignored, but rather that many users don't feel 'qualified' to respond. We can see you've had some replies now, which is good. Your thread may do better on the SN children topic, where many parents will have been in similar situations. If you'd like us to move it over there, just @ me here.

Best wishes,
MNHQ