Best ever thread titles - help please!

[JustineMumsnet]

Morning all,
I'm just penning the foreward of our Toddlers book and want to try and give a taste of Mumsnet in all its glory. I was thinking that a good way to do that using the best/funniest/most bizarre thread titles. I've got a brain like a sieve though and can't remember any - can you help? (Please!)

there was one about somone removing their own piles with some DIY surgery

didn't they call themselves, the amateur arse doctor?

well yes it has to be cunting sainsburys
but that's not really top foreword material is it

I remember @-

Can I put semen on my daughter's hair (I think thats right!)

DH just criticised my fanjo (don't know who started that one )

There's a rat in ma garden what ama gonna do (Kbear)

I liked the panty moths and the leather knickers also

Why is it that when I call Paypal it sounds like someones having a wank on the line between options?

Sod brazilians, hollywoods etc. Come here if you have a full blown hedgerow

Probably neither are suitable I know

oh that paypal one was hilarious

that minty sperm one got right up people's noses

"1st day of Tupler Technique and I can see my Lady Garden! " made me hopeful

"Has a random act of kindness stayed in your memory forever? " was very nice

"cunting sainsbos" made me larf as did "What Not to Do - the stupidity thread "

erm

Something like if your dd ran through the room shouting ouch ouch my bums on fire....

Then you opened the thread and it continued .. do you think that last nights bang bang chicken was too spicy? ( or something similar)
I think it was twiglett who started that thread. It just made me LOL -lots !

The one in active convos now ain't bad

"Does anyone remember my neighbour who shags noisily while I am trying to have my Sunday crossant?...... "

the minty sperm one was mine
it was never meant to cause such trouble!

the one where Moondog revealed her CM had taken the kids to MacDonalds

The childminder took Moondogs children to Macdonalds today

here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2724&threadid=507538#10275246

though only funny if you know who she is I suppose

I like 'Why do we fear the Woodcraft Folk.'

"Im a mum but I still got brians" always makes me snigger.

Look at some of the 10/10 club best titles -

super-cauli, veggietastic, vit c in high doses

Cream coloured parsnips and crisp apple strudel, Beetroot and bok choi and swiss chard with noodles

Dedicated swallower of passion fuit

In Gourd we Trust

It's my parsley and I'll cry if I want to

Plump up the Yam, til your beet are stompin and the jam is pumpkin..

They're changinmg chard at butternut palace. Crispy rocket went down with radish

Why do you build me up butternut, chestnut lentil me down...

Just to keep you going.... (and to wind Cod up even more)

There was one which was a line from a story written by someone's dc - something about Jesus but nonetheless I ate by breakfast

I remember that one, Mercy!!

The best 10/10 one is 'Canteloupe! Canteloupe! Will you eat the bad mango?'

What about the one where the mumsnetter wanted to know if she was BU to expect her childminder to tell her if she's taking DH out for the afternoon.
Made me laugh, but i suspect this isn't the sort of thing you mean.

Am I being unreasonable? : to leave the children at school for the next fortnight or so whilst I watch Wimbledon?

Haven't read the thread, but I love it.

AIBU to hate posh waffle eating stingy oldies

This one!

The Pollychrome one!

What should I do a chicken keeps coming in through the cat flap? (or something similar) was good.