Quote of the week...

[merrylissiemas]

can i nominate this:

I just love rhydian. Dh gets really arsey when i mention i fancy him. He says 'huh, why don't you marry him then'

I don't want to marry him!!! I just want to see his schlong

by lazawreath on thisthread

but will you share with DH that he made it on the list too?

Fairyfly: 'middle class tubby tit witches'

on a thread about middle class C*nts that caused quite a storm...

Mehgalegs

By Bramshott on Tue 18-Mar-08 16:03:19 on can I eat this quiche question:

Ah you'll be fine! DD1 was eating a yoghurt last week and said "it's got paper in mummy" and proceeded to pull a large piece of green mould out of her mouth. Looked at packaging and they were 11 days out of date blush. Worst bit was that there was a friend and her mum there too!

YouKnowNothingOfTheCrunch on Wed 19-Mar-08 21:10:27
I think both our children have an interesting take on Freud's Electra complex (that your mum cut off your penis because her mum cut off hers )

Mine has replaced my mother with a crocodile, and yours has come up with a solution to penis envy - woolies (who's have thought it?)

from this thread

Evening all - bit later than normal, but can we have your nominations, please?

My friend had a little boy who was my DD's best friend.
He was totally obsessed and would spend most of their play dates dry humping various pieces of furniture. I could never quite concentrate on what she was saying as poor little PFB was rodgering the sofa and yet found myself insanely compelled to say nonchelant things about the wee grunting boy.
I think "gosh he's growing isn't he" was bad but " I can really see your DH in him " was a spectacular low.

from pagwatch on this thread. i know its long (have edited a little), but i laughed so much i weed myself a little...

anyone else/

"i was battling my way through Ulysses at fourteen. my head swims at the sight of anything more complex than heat magazine now"

by Aitch on this thread

in fact I nominate the whole thread as a great example of an mn yabu verdict.

bithcat?

bitcath?

oh!

any of Squiffy's lazy parenting tips:

By Squiffy on Wed 26-Mar-08 13:05:25
When DC's wake in the night and need attention, kick or elbow DH awake with the words "I did it last time". Even if there wasn't a 'last time'

When taking your DC's to school remember to bark in a loud and braying voice how marvellously your DC's are doing with their mandarin/violin lessons. You will never be approached by other mothers and can make quick exit from the playground.

Ensure that your children eat their tea in the bath. That way they cannot 'leave' any because they have nowhere to put it, there are no dirty clothes to clean when they spill anything, and it will take half the time. (Not recommended for pasta dishes)

With newborns, always invest in a hamster water dispensor and attach to side of baby's cot. squeeze in some boob milk every once in a while when passing.

Constantly allow your DC's to 'overhear' your conversations with DH regarding the grandaparents and how they have been discussing having the kids stay for a sleepover and lashigns of ice cream. That way they will nag their GP's to stay and you will graciously accept when the GP's give in and offer to have them.

on this thread

JeremyVile on THIS Thread :

"Dear God, my nipples have fallen off."

By NaughtyNigel on Wed 26-Mar-08 21:52:03
get a nanny, a housekeeper, a cleaner, a cook and a chauffeur. and encourage your DH towards an 'open' marriage. That way your whole family will never bother you again.

from this thread

OK, I don't recall the thread, and it was ages ago, but on asking PussinJimmyChoos whether she'd bought an expensive bag she'd been coveting, the reply was:-

"No. Yesterday, I casually threw my £3.00 mummy bag on the floor as I was putting ds into his car seat. It was then I realized that if I bought a bag for £150.00, I would chuck ds on the floor and put the bag on the carseat!"

Bloody funny, though!

By Qally on Mon 31-Mar-08 01:07:04
What a dirtyminded old bat. Seriously, she needs to haul her imagination out of the gutter - boobs are for babies, men just get to borrow 'em!

On this thread.

Message withdrawn

Hello all, nominations please!
Thanks

by Anchovy about taking the stabilisers off her sons bike on this thread.

"On Sunday in the park he set off, saying "You can run to keep up with me if you want Mum, but don't tell me when to stop". And I thought at the time what a resonant statement that was, as he wobbled off in a determined manner."

It's a very sentimental thread, and that post did make me cry just a tiny little bit

[saddo]

or this by frumpygrumpy on the same thread

"Being so big it almost hurts when they want to sit on your knee. And you can't see over the top. And you want to say "darling, you're a bit big for this" but you can't and won't and you cry inwardly at where the time went".